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Shitting in the shallow end. *Panda fiddling*


Jim Bell

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  • Jim Bell changed the title to Shitting in the shallow end. *G Unit*
2 minutes ago, UltraWomble said:

Quite jealous - despite owning a vehicle that runs on fresh air, I really really liked my Astra G.

I wish I hadnt driven it into a lake now.

 

Ah man. I remember when @Micrashed did that. Ballsy but soggy. I wonder what ever happened to that handsome bastard. 

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On 29/07/2023 at 23:14, Jim Bell said:

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Where the ven diagram meets, is where we play. 

https://news.lettersofnote.com/p/arkell-v-pressdram

May I refer you to Pressdrams response to Arkell and wish you the same. 

Cheap fucking joke is what your Venn diagram is. 

 

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On 29/07/2023 at 12:24, Jim Bell said:

So be aware, those who aren't. AA Ts and C's say if it's the first 24 hours of ownership, your cover isnt valid. So he said if you find yourself in this situation, next time lie. 

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That's a good reason not to go with the AA. 

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7 minutes ago, New POD said:

https://news.lettersofnote.com/p/arkell-v-pressdram

May I refer you to Pressdrams response to Arkell and wish you the same. 

Cheap fucking joke is what your Venn diagram is. 

 

 

Having owned 4 (yes 4) mk2 cavaliers, 1 mk3 cavalier, 3 (all which I wrote off) Mk3 Astras, I have a weird thing for the mk4 astra. 

Son learnt to drive in a mk3 cavalier, and later was given a mk4 astra (a 1.6 16V club) when his grandad gave up driving. I then bought a 1.6 16V Sport.  Son described his as more like a mk4 cavalier and I couldn't argue with him. 

The only problem I had with mine was a sport and was too hard with its 16 inch wheels and rock hard suspension. (and not gifffer enough. After 2 hours behind the wheel, I couldn't walk.) 

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  • 1 month later...

Well the Astra has been providing sterling service as a 10 mile commuter to and from work every day. Nothing of note, so I've made no notes. 

That was until today when I had to tour county Durham and Teeside to a range of pre arranged appointments. Ooo great, some nice quick country roads. 

Hang on. 

What's that smell?

 

 

Yep. After being cleaned up and lubed twice, that passenger side caliper is dragging again. 

It's a theme. 

 

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Used the last of the COOP water that I still had in the boot from the initial BRAKE down too cool the whole shebang. 

Then popped into Sainsburys (oooo la da fuckin daa) to buy more. 

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Stay hydrated lads. 

 

Eeee remember the brakes seizing at the co-op. Seems like just yesterday. 

 

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Limped it home 40 miles stopping at Washington services to let it cool again. Eventually home and back on the naughty step. 

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I'm fucking sick of it now mind.

ALL VAUXHALLS ARE SHIT. 

why was I not informed of this earlier?

Tossing up in my mind scrapping the cunt or spending money on new calipers/discs/pads. The latter makes more sense but I'm sure that as soon as I've finished putting my hand in my pocket again, the gable end of a building will fall on it. 

 

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If you want, drop me a pm and I can order your parts on my helfords trade card, might make it a bit more palatable?  The least I can do after all the entertainment you've provided down the years.

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8 minutes ago, Jim Bell said:

Well the Astra has been providing sterling service as a 10 mile commuter to and from work every day. Nothing of note, so I've made no notes. 

That was until today when I had to tour county Durham and Teeside to a range of pre arranged appointments. Ooo great, some nice quick country roads. 

Hang on. 

What's that smell?

 

 

Yep. After being cleaned up and lubed twice, that passenger side caliper is dragging again. 

It's a theme. 

 

Check yer flexi brake pipe.

Had a similar issue with a MK4 Astra I owned a while back. All good in the hood wie the caliper and sliders, but it still stuck on. 

Me finds flexi was borked, let's fluid through to stop the car. But it couldn't return back. 

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1 minute ago, JMotor said:

Check yer flexi brake pipe.

Had a similar issue with a MK4 Astra I owned a while back. All good in the hood wie the caliper and sliders, but it still stuck on. 

Me finds flexi was borked, let's fluid through to stop the car. But it couldn't return back. 

Cheers man. Good shout.

@loserone also suggested the same earlier today. Definitely a possibility. Not sure if I can be arsed with parts darts. I think it might be better to reverse it into the sea off Marsden cliffs. Going to sleep on it. 

 

*overly dramatic flounce ends*

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1 hour ago, Jim Bell said:

Cheers man. Good shout.

@loserone also suggested the same earlier today. Definitely a possibility. Not sure if I can be arsed with parts darts. I think it might be better to reverse it into the sea off Marsden cliffs. Going to sleep on it. 

 

*overly dramatic flounce ends*

Did yer put new mats in it tho?

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People are right, unless the brake fluid is totally borked that caliper shouldn't seize that quickly with regular use. The flexipipe should probably show the problem more consistently as well but there's a good chance it's just swollen enough on the inside to not let brake fluid run back. It'll be a dirt cheap fix (until the fitting snaps off the hard line and you'll be stranded).

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Heeee'llll be fine!!

Schaefft is right. Quick look in the bay of E shows front pipes (delivered) for £14.

It'll be more your time. Also repeat soaking in some free off juice will help. Also went straight in with two vice grips, as the union went all chewy when trying to turn it with the spanner.

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  • Jim Bell changed the title to Shitting in the shallow end. *Vans Wanked Tour 07**

Nothing worth BANTZ going on here. Just updating the thread for historical accuracy. 

The Astra sloped off to stay with @Tickman then sauntered swiftly on to @Supernaut.

That left a hole the shape of a car in the transportation section of my virtual filofax. 

Enter, @davehedgehog31 who happened to be vending. All @davehedgehog31 products are pre approved for quality and value so I booked a ticket to Scotland and travelled out during a red weather warning for northern England and Scotland. 

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This is my regret face approximately 3 or so minutes into the 10 or so hour journey. Wet. 

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Van is a pure trooper and kept the wet at bay fine on the way home. The cross-climates shod to every corner inspire confidence when navigating sporadic standing water and sloppy surfaces. 

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So far, it's been unpeckable as daily transportation. Soon to be pressed into action as a main means of moving home. 

View from collection

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14 minutes ago, chancer said:

Crackin wee van. I really should have kept this. Glad to see it still soldiering on

Can't keep them all man. It's a great little van for sure. Engine really suits the purpose and it gets far more mpgs than I expected. 

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  • Jim Bell changed the title to Shitting in the shallow end. *Bile Hatred* pseudo collection.

The Kangoo served me well. I used it to move house, drop a hundredweight of detritus at the tip, collect things, go to the shops and commute to work. It never grumbled and returned 50mpg if you treated it kindly. 

Unfortunately, being a van, it's not NEWCASTLE/GATESHEAD ULEZ COMPLIANT, which is where I need to go some times so it was time to pass it on to another keeper. 

Anyway. I was starting to get symptoms of NOT BUY CAR FEVER, and there's only one cure. 

 

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Not buy car fever is the biggest killer of shrimp and fat northern men after suicide, heart disease and murder. There are ten stages and I was feeling thirsty (stage 8).

I really must buy something before I go ded. 

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I decided that I would buy a nice modern sensible car like a Dacia, or maybe a Nissan Juke or Crashquai. 

I fired up eBay to see what was going down in boring-town. 

 

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Sounds delicious but not ethical.

 

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Cat food. 

 

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Wat

 

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Craig looked like the best bet but seven god damn dollars seemed a lot and there was no service history so I tried Marketplace. 

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After a bit of doom scrolling and ruling out anything parked on gravel, parked on grass, parked with a caravan or dog in the background, being sold by someone also selling 9 to 27 other cars, any seller with a flag as their profile pic and any car with a pic of the key in the ignition that clearly still has an auction tag still attached, I found something that raised my spirits. 

 

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*But only if it's Scotland or Wales. 

As is sometimes the way, the car was far away in the Northland's beyond the wall. Thankfully I have fine friends amongst you troupe of car perverts and @juular and @Lacquer Peel kindly went and had a quick look for me. It got the 4 thumbs up so I booked a train up the hill. 

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And away we go!

Early start. I missed breakfast so popped to WH SMITHS so I could grab a cheap snack. 

Now I know why they've installed FUCKING DEFRIBULATORS at Darlington rail station. A bottle of water and a Twix came to a kick in the arse off of five pounds. 

Thanks Brexit. 

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Thanks Tracey. 

 

Felt like a right bell end. 

So I went and stood at the bell end of the station. 

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