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What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread


outlaw118

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2 hours ago, Metal Guru said:

Sun online “news”.

Internet riddle only those with high IQs can solve.

I buy a cow for £800 and sell it for £1000.

I then buy it back for £1100 and then sell it again for £1300.

How much have I made?

I can’t see what’s difficult and to me it’s primary school maths, but people were coming up with many wrong answers, guessing or just saying it was too hard, apparently.

What does anyone else think and what do you think the answer is?

£400. 

 

Say you start with 1200.

1200-800=400

400+1000=1400

1400-1100=300

300+1300=1600

1600-1200=400.

 

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14 minutes ago, Wack said:

capitalist maths

spend the initial profit on a deposit for a bull , resulting offspring = free cows, who cares how much you made

I see an idea forming.

Form ltd company. Borrow £800 to buy cow, sell for £1000.  Borrow £100 to buy back cow, now you owe £900, sell cow for £1300, Borrow another £1300, because you are obviously good for it.

Pay yourself a pension bonus of £2600 and call in the receivers. Banks fail to recover money as there is none. 

Ltd company dead, but you imediately retire taking 25% of pension tax free (£650) and the rest paying 20% tax thus giving you a total of £2210. 

With this you buy 2 cows and rent a bull for a day. 

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54 minutes ago, New POD said:

I see an idea forming.

Form ltd company. Borrow £800 to buy cow, sell for £1000.  Borrow £100 to buy back cow, now you owe £900, sell cow for £1300, Borrow another £1300, because you are obviously good for it.

Pay yourself a pension bonus of £2600 and call in the receivers. Banks fail to recover money as there is none. 

Ltd company dead, but you imediately retire taking 25% of pension tax free (£650) and the rest paying 20% tax thus giving you a total of £2210. 

With this you buy 2 cows and rent a bull for a day. 

Maybe not. Bull semen was £28k / litre according to Top Gear many moons ago.

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20 minutes ago, dozeydustman said:

Step 1 of make room in the garage for the C2 commenced today by starting the boarding out of the house loft. Still have a light to install up there and some more boards but it means most of the crap in the garage can go into storage which is dry.

 

Or. 

Have you used any of it in the last 5 years ? Charity shop is calling. 

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IMG20231205132547.thumb.jpg.109ced2bdde4b4513dc4f00d2f1fe052.jpg

These two bits of odd shaped tin arrived yesterday. I'd been kidding myself that I could make something similar but in reality i probably couldn't.

IMG20231205135407.thumb.jpg.e56b3896c38af017f344b9265fd9ece1.jpg

IMG20231205132404.thumb.jpg.9febbe6a896a270c38e6cf97a43ce0df.jpg

They need a slight tweak here and there but once bolted tight to the flange under the wing they will nicely fill the gaping hole the bumper once covered.

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Was marshalling at the RAC rally a couple of weekends ago. 

We were at a junction and the cars came past us, over a slight crest with a hill and powered downhill out of site of our locations 

 10 cars through and a mk1 Escort came through. The back end stepped out over the crest and then...

Silence

And then, 2 very loud bangs 😳

My friend, a trained mountain rescue type, went down to the car, finding it upside down in the middle of the stage. He helped the crew out and checked them over while I went up the stage to slow down oncoming rally cars. 

Next car along-Oliver Solberg who was leading and going absolutely flat out😳

The crew showed mild signs of shock but my mates 1st aid training kicked in and the guys were soon warm, fed and feeling better. 

The car was a tad worse for wear though...

IMG20231126100734.thumb.jpg.a3090575a41e3230753cd19b54780862.jpg

IMG20231126100720.thumb.jpg.a1604f7826bd5269eafec01a3d947155.jpg

IMG20231126112205.thumb.jpg.6c5635d903d42c5bd847686efa5c3a49.jpg

My friend Kev is a fellow Opel apologist and is working on the restoration of his Ascona rally car. He rallied it years ago but sold it 20 years ago. He bought it back about 5 years ago with it having sat unused since he sold it in all those years ago.

We both couldn't help but notice the crew were sporting some rather fetching Opel bobble hats and we discovered we all shared a love for Opels-the Escorts navigator and owner was building a Kadett. Handy as his Escort was now banana shaped😳.

The grin?

Fast forward a week or so and to say thanks Kev and I received our own bobble hats in the post😍

IMG20231204191343.thumb.jpg.5f5e5d68e668a6bc3f562e21cb4491b1.jpg

Big shout out to Roy, owner of the Escort and boss of Ralloy engineering for putting a smile on the face of a pair of hopeless Opel nuts🙂 Hopefully we'll see the Kadett soon, but not as close as we did the Escort😳

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Plus net

Everytime the contract expires the price doubles

But then further down the email oh but our offer to you cos nice.customer  is *xxx

So that'll be roughly the same as now then ( it's gone.up.a.pound)

Why do they do that if it had doubled I'd have done a runner anyway

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Doblo battery died. Available locally only no brand rubbish or over priced quality one. Ordered from Amazon expecting next day delivery. Next day no email saying on way. Checked and delivery is 8 days away. Bugger. Ordered one from Tanya Batteries. Thinks I'll cancel Amazon order but computer says no.

Both arrive yesterday and Tanya one fitted today so a happily starting Doblo.

Tried to do an online Amazon return but whatever option chosen I only get "return not eligible". Phone up and Amazon complete refund straight away. Ask how I return the item, you don't need to Mr auntiemaryscanary. Are you 100% sure ask I? Foreign call centre person actually laughs!

AS special discount price only £75.85, collection only :)

Screenshot_20231207-212623.thumb.png.3d453981147c08f4f7aeae416c56ac05.png

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7 hours ago, iainrcz said:

Just seen silly bollocks Johnson on the telly in his Grimsby Town hat 😂

"He's one of your own. He's one of your own. Boris Johnson, he's one of your own"

On 04/12/2023 at 10:33, Metal Guru said:

Sun online “news”.

Internet riddle only those with high IQs can solve.

I buy a cow for £800 and sell it for £1000.

I then buy it back for £1100 and then sell it again for £1300.

How much have I made?

I can’t see what’s difficult and to me it’s primary school maths, but people were coming up with many wrong answers, guessing or just saying it was too hard, apparently.

What does anyone else think and what do you think the answer is?

Why are we all buying cows now? Nevermind I'll take 2 randoms even though I've no need or want or space and collection would be tricky on the train.

I've got the sister website set up....Cow shite.

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Viewing a house tomorrow with the strong intent of buying.

Current place has a decent big garage (1930s) but all other parking is on street, on a hill and permitted. Coupled with maintenance and renovations on the house and it limits shite owning and tinkering to one in the garage and two legally on the street.

New place is mostly renovated (so less time from me) and has an integral garage, a 3 car drive, and a front lawn that MrsCoprolalia has already requested is part converted to gravel drive so that "you don't block my car in". Should give space for 6 cars total...

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