What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[High Jetter]

  On 16/11/2023 at 22:14, Bren said:

Cheshire police stopped a zafira on the M62 at Warrington as it appeared "overloaded".

There were fifteen people onboard.All  unrestrained.

It must have looked like a hydrofoil.

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I think if 15 people were in a Zafira they'd be very restrained!

[Metal Guru]

  On 16/11/2023 at 15:58, cobblers said:

Nearly 3 years ago I bought a sim card for the 4g router in my camper van. It was one of them "preloaded" ones with 100gb or something, but to put me on. It supposedly ran out after 6 months.

I hadn't given it a thought since, until today when I realised it's still going strong! I must have used many terabytes by now, It was our only source of internet at home for 8 weeks. I wonder how much longer I'll get away with it?

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Wait ‘til you get an 11 grand bill.

[New POD]

  On 15/11/2023 at 18:45, gm said:

@Mi30n was telling me his audi e-tron was in for a service today, i idly wondered what exactly would be getting done ? 

no oil or filter to change, no air filter, no plugs, no fuel filter, coolant ? probably not, what exactly would he be getting for the omg£££ audi would be charging?

turns out they change the pollen filter and brake fluid ! that’s it !

still, at least they washed it for him  

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They will also have loaded the latest version of the software, with some additional bugs and a few faults taken out. 

[reb]

You've heard of Guinea Pigs.

Get ready for...

Guinea Big.

[Wack]

Americans , I wonder if that price includes the tip 

[wuvvum]

  On 15/11/2023 at 19:01, gm said:

seriously ? i trust you told them where to stick it 

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In the same place as @Floatylight's extra girthy dildo, one hopes.

[Dick Cheeseburger]

Made me chuckle. 

[horriblemercedes]

  On 16/11/2023 at 15:58, cobblers said:

Nearly 3 years ago I bought a sim card for the 4g router in my camper van. It was one of them "preloaded" ones with 100gb or something, but to put me on. It supposedly ran out after 6 months.

I hadn't given it a thought since, until today when I realised it's still going strong! I must have used many terabytes by now, It was our only source of internet at home for 8 weeks. I wonder how much longer I'll get away with it?

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In about 2005 I got an O2 sim card free from Woolworths. I didn't follow the activation process or put any credit on it, I just used it for several years. Worked absolutely fine and I never paid a penny. Can't remember why I stopped using it. I think it was because I got a job that supplied a phone and sim

 

I didn't know that it would work. I just put the sim in my phone and decided to try it before following the process and it worked

[outlaw118]

I've just eaten an 8oz block of Mexicana cheddar, and now i'm a bit sweaty.

Carry on.

[cobblers]

  On 17/11/2023 at 15:49, outlaw118 said:

I've just eaten an 8oz block of Mexicana cheddar, and now i'm a bit sweaty.

Carry on.

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I get moderately severe cheese sweats from even quite a small amount of cheese. My wife doesn't believe it's a real thing, even when I can show her my face start sweating ten seconds after I eat a lump of strong cheese.

[richardmorris]

  On 16/11/2023 at 23:58, Metal Guru said:

Wait ‘til you get an 11 grand bill.

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Just claim it on expenses…

[GrumpiusMaximus]

Got a 6K pay rise at work this afternoon.  And I'm eligible for a 1K bonus this month if I do a bit of (easy) overtime.  I got that bonus last month and the offer is until Christmas.  I've spent the last few days training some new people on the boring bits that I have to do so that I can do the 'fun' stuff in my job (i.e. not having to talk to customers as much) and that's going well too.

Happy, happy days.

[Boycie]

Bar opening up for an hour or something going tits up im now back office based ..... To be fair they are prob scared I'll scare customers away .. 

[paulplom]

  On 17/11/2023 at 10:08, Wack said:

Americans , I wonder if that price includes the tip 

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I paid a fiver for a bottle of water in Ibiza a couple of months back and thought that was a rip off.

Tha lager was cheaper. How tf does that work?

[loserone]

You don't buy one lager

[primeradoner]

  On 17/11/2023 at 22:10, GrumpiusMaximus said:

Got a 6K pay rise at work this afternoon.  And I'm eligible for a 1K bonus this month if I do a bit of (easy) overtime.  I got that bonus last month and the offer is until Christmas.  I've spent the last few days training some new people on the boring bits that I have to do so that I can do the 'fun' stuff in my job (i.e. not having to talk to customers as much) and that's going well too.

Happy, happy days.

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Its about time you changed your username mate.

[beko1987]

  On 17/11/2023 at 22:10, GrumpiusMaximus said:

Got a 6K pay rise at work this afternoon.  And I'm eligible for a 1K bonus this month if I do a bit of (easy) overtime.  I got that bonus last month and the offer is until Christmas.  I've spent the last few days training some new people on the boring bits that I have to do so that I can do the 'fun' stuff in my job (i.e. not having to talk to customers as much) and that's going well too.

Happy, happy days.

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One of the better moves I made at my work was away from customer facing roles and into back office/techy ones! Far more fun! 

Hope it goes well for you, enjoy the overtime 👌

[hairnet]

@Parky

I stalk you now

Lipton's Pickwick two sugars not bothered about milk

Found a.barg flight so the saving has paid for half the rental

[Remspoor]

  On 18/11/2023 at 07:05, paulplom said:

I paid a fiver for a bottle of water in Ibiza a couple of months back and thought that was a rip off.

Tha lager was cheaper. How tf does that work?

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Tourist trap ripoff that is how that works.

Bottled water in a Spanish supermarket is nothing like that.

https://www.carrefour.es/supermercado/bebidas/aguas-y-zumos/agua-de-075-a-2-litros/cat650004/c

https://www.dia.es/agua-refrescos-y-zumos/agua/c/L2107

Restaurants in Spain are obliged to give tap water for free.

[brownnova]

The very definition of ‘hammer a bigger one over it’ 

[DavieW]

Advert on MSN home page just now

 

[NorfolkNWeigh]

  On 18/11/2023 at 14:27, Remspoor said:

Tourist trap ripoff that is how that works.

Bottled water in a Spanish supermarket is nothing like that.

https://www.carrefour.es/supermercado/bebidas/aguas-y-zumos/agua-de-075-a-2-litros/cat650004/c

https://www.dia.es/agua-refrescos-y-zumos/agua/c/L2107

Restaurants in Spain are obliged to give tap water for free.

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Every restaurant I’ve ever been in , in any Country, has given tap water for free.

[Slappy]

Caught up with the latest episode of Jonny Smith's Late Brake Show, which features Radio 1 Breakfast host Greg James who has been a hero of mine for a very long time, mostly because he comes across as properly down to earth; and it continued here too. Greg recently picked up an E34 M5, which they tootle about with for the episode, but it seems he's also an 80s/90s Renault fan boy and if anyone has a B reg Nissan Sunny that they want to offload it might be worth a slide into his DMs... Overall a very calming and enjoyable 40 minutes of content.

[hairnet]

  On 20/11/2023 at 06:18, brownnova said:

The very definition of ‘hammer a bigger one over it’ 

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absolutely nothing wrong with that D

[hairnet]

so they sent conf of the bike and the rental @Parky

for some reason it has the reg on it

so i vtnzed it for lol

it only has wof only for a fortnight after i give it back

should i wof it for them for lols

@parky at least this one would pass

 

 

[iainrcz]

This is possibly the high point of the week already.

Just been walking the dog, and met a guy dressed as a cowboy.

Brilliant.

[cort1977]

  On 20/11/2023 at 12:46, NorfolkNWeigh said:

Every restaurant I’ve ever been in , in any Country, has given tap water for free.

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In Germany they look at you like you just shat on the floor if you ask for it and then grudgingly bring a thimble.  (Based on my limited experience in Hamburg recently).

[hairnet]

  On 20/11/2023 at 18:43, iainrcz said:

This is possibly the high point of the week already.

Just been walking the dog, and met a guy dressed as a cowboy.

Brilliant.

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you walked past a plate glass window?

[Remspoor]

Just stop Tee Shirts.

https://www.juststoptshirts.com/

[iainrcz]

  On 20/11/2023 at 22:57, hairnet said:

you walked past a plate glass window?

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I was dressed as a construction worker actually.