What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[MikeR]

the single woman who lives next door rang the door bell and asked the wife ..

 

"  does your husband have a big tool , the plumbers wont fit ! "

 

 

it sort of livened up things !

[chodweaver]

 

Next episode he's building an afterburner for it.

He is off his fuckin trolley

[artdjones]

i work with used to work with a chap we'll call john, for t'was his name, who has recently purchased from Strathstone Land Rover in Derby a second hand Range Rooney.

 

and he also bought, for the princly sum of £1200 their extended warantee.

 

last week he got a call from his misses, the Rooney has "stopped" and is "making a funny noise when she turns it over" and, no won't start up again.

 

gets it recovered back to the dealer, who diagnose engine failure. as the timing belt has snapped.

 

the dealer themselves had only recently replaced said belt, BUT the car isn't covered by their warantee, and it'll be £8000 to fix cos it needs a whole new engine.

 

why isn't it covered by any warantee? well the timing belt has snapped cos the oil pump in the bowels of the engine has siezed, and THATS what snapped the belt.

 

oh dear, bloody moderns (and Land Rover's in particular) is there anyone who has had a recent one that has not been a total pile of wank?

What actually is covered if the oil pump isn't.How long has he had this thing?

[Wack]

i work with used to work with a chap we'll call john, for t'was his name, who has recently purchased from Strathstone Land Rover in Derby a second hand Range Rooney.

 

and he also bought, for the princly sum of £1200 their extended warantee.

 

last week he got a call from his misses, the Rooney has "stopped" and is "making a funny noise when she turns it over" and, no won't start up again.

 

gets it recovered back to the dealer, who diagnose engine failure. as the timing belt has snapped. 

 

the dealer themselves had only recently replaced said belt, BUT the car isn't covered by their warantee, and it'll be £8000 to fix cos it needs a whole new engine.

 

why isn't it covered by any warantee? well the timing belt has snapped cos the oil pump in the bowels of the engine has siezed, and THATS what snapped the belt.

 

oh dear, bloody moderns (and Land Rover's in particular) is there anyone who has had a recent one that has not been a total pile of wank?

That's exactly why extended warranties are utterly worthless because the components that cause the big problems are conveniently not covered and the excess makes the small problems not worth claiming 

[artdjones]

Yes, but normally those warranties are not £1200.Anyhoo,if it's a fairly recent purchase then Stratstone haven't got a leg to stand on.The owner had best get on to his lawyer, trading standards,and Twitter,not necessarily in that order.Even if he bought this rip off warranty,he still has his inextinguishable consumer rights.

[eddyramrod]

I've just accepted a parcel, which turns out to be a little delivery from Mr Datsuncog of this parish.  Very kind and thoughtful, and many thanks for it, but even better was the encouraging little note he put in.  

 

Datsuncog is a gentleman.

[Inspector Morose]

Got to my hotel for the weekend at Bridgewater. As I wont be driving for a while, I must remember where I parked.

 

[w00dy]

^ There's only one e in Bridgwater (someone nicked the other I suspect)

 

Got my Probe back from the MOT £140 lighter including fitting my chav back box, which is better than I was expecting.

[mat_the_cat]

Bit of background to this - the company I work for make amongst other things, night vision equipment for the military. Some of this is weapon mounted, so has to be tested on various guns. Hence a development team (some of whom are ex-soldiers) regularly take their VW T6 to a firing range to test out new products.

 

On one such trip this week they stop for some fish and chips and whilst eating them see a couple having an argument. Just watching for a while but then the guy starts to hit the woman. One of our guys gets up to go over, to see if he can intervene but is spotted so the abusive bloke starts shouting at him. This is quickly followed by the woman having a go at him to mind his own business, and while this is happening her partner pulls out a knife and starts waving it around!

 

My grin is the thought (sadly but sensibly it didn't happen) of a massive 'Crocodile Dundee' style moment occurring as the tables could have been turned quite dramatically, given the arsenal in the back of the van In the event they just backed off and drove away, but I think I'd have been inclined to at least call the Police afterwards.

[panhard65]

Got to my hotel for the weekend at Bridgewater. As I wont be driving for a while, I must remember where I parked.

 

43756832_2096542883710650_6518662467197861888_n.jpg

Yeah no e in Bridgwater, is this some sort of punishment as spending a weekend there would be 47hrs 59 mins too long for me. Good luck and I wish I could recommend anywhere but the best thing about the place is the road out.

[andy18s]

I've just accepted a parcel, which turns out to be a little delivery from Mr Datsuncog of this parish. Very kind and thoughtful, and many thanks for it, but even better was the encouraging little note he put in.

 

Datsuncog is a gentleman.

Is that what it said?

Kind of blowing his trumpet,don't you think?????

lolol (cos still no smilies working for me)

[MarvinsMom]

Is anything actually covered by that warranty, or is it just a worthless shite of paper?

 

What actually is covered if the oil pump isn't.How long has he had this thing?

 

it seems that he bought their "no qubble, no issues, no returns, nothing" garentee, that coverss next to nothing. he has owned it about 6 weels too, and he is very much regretting it..... so yes, its a very expensive piece of paper that seemingly covers next to nowt!

 

i worked with sevela folks who had a Land Rover, the Freeloaders seemingly were trouble free, the disco's more problematic, and the Range rovers, especially the Range Rover Sports just hopeless.

 

one had, i think 4 year old Range Rover Sport that had a habit of disabling all its electrical system. it would be fine, then it would stop, throw up all the warning lights on the dash and coast to a standstill. then after a few minutes, it would start up as if nothing had happened. and it would have no codes stored either if you plugged it into the computer thing afterwards, After pulling this stunt on the outside lane of the M6, it got chopped in against a Renner SUV thing. when the salesman went out to look at the Range rover Steve was hoping ang preying all the warning lights would stay off.... And that is before we get talking about the on going issues with the air suspension bags and compressor. he had them all changed at least once, and it still wouldn't work right.

 

Land Rovers, nice to look at (if you like that sorta thing) but not nice to own.

[myglaren]

Officially lost 5 and a half stones now at slimming world. I wanted to hit 6 stone by my 40th birthday, which is 19 days...... I like a challenge!

 

Shouldn't that be "Wellness World" now?

 

[Wack]

it seems that he bought their "no qubble, no issues, no returns, nothing" garentee, that coverss next to nothing. he has owned it about 6 weels too, and he is very much regretting it..... so yes, its a very expensive piece of paper that seemingly covers next to nowt!

 

if he's only had it 6 weeks it'll be covered by the consumer rights act 2015

 

Faults, repairs and refunds

Under the new act, if a fault renders the product not of satisfactory quality, not fit for purpose or not as described, then the buyer is entitled to reject it within the first 30 days.

Between 30 days and 6 months

If a fault comes to light after 30 days but before 6 months you’re entitled to a repair, replacement or refund.

• It’s assumed in law that the fault was present at the time of purchase unless the seller can prove otherwise.
• Unless you’ve agreed otherwise, the seller (dealer) has only one opportunity to repair (or replace) the faulty vehicle after which, if they fail to repair it, you’re entitled to a refund.
• In the event of a refund following a failed attempt at repair during the first six months the seller may make a 'reasonable' adjustment to the amount refunded to take account of the use that you’ve had of the vehicle.

[panhard65]

The consumer rights act is great until the dodgy dealer decides to stick two fingers up and tell you to get lost. This happened to one of my customers and trading standards weren't interested and the only way she could of tried to get her money back would of been the small claims court. I don't really see the point of the act when no one enforces it. I have now had  2 customers who have bought lemons and tried to reject them within 10 days but the traders have said no and no amount of quoting the act will get them to cough up as they know they will never be prosecuted for it.

[SiC]

Even though its a big chain, Strathstone shouldn't be that dodgy. I mean they may refuse at first, but I'm sure they just need to be pushed harder and harder.

[320touring]

This made me lorf...

 

[omegod]

Even though its a big chain, Strathstone shouldn't be that dodgy. I mean they may refuse at first, but I'm sure they just need to be pushed harder and harder.

 

Sounds like a case of getting it signed all over as a dud and park it outside their main showroom, like this guy did 

 

https://www.express.co.uk/life-style/cars/991872/Range-Rover-dumped-dealership-issues-defaced

[iainrcz]

A guy at work covered someone's machine for their tea break.

 

The operator came back, and about 10 minutes later came up to me and said, and I've no idea what the hell has gone on

"I don't know what X has been doing on my machine, it smells of hamsters around it"

 

Sent from my VFD 710 using Tapatalk

[myglaren]

[LightBulbFun]

how to fuck with the health and safety guys   (technically theres nothing wrong with this setup all the exist signs are of the correct type AFAIK? )

 

[dozeydustman]

Shouldn't that be "Wellness World" now?

 

 

 

No. I'm still a fat unhealthy git.

[dozeydustman]

Been to in-laws for dinner this evening, Mrs D and I made madam drive us home so we could have a glass of wine or 2.

 

I'm so impressed at how far her driving has come along in 2 weeks since she last drove me somewhere. It's like she's been driving all her life, not 4 weeks. We're now looking at getting her an advanced driving course for her 18th birthday in January.

[Christine]

yeah,  it's great being taught how to do J turns   

 

 

 

Someone gave me a 12v battery today, a whopper off a horsebox ! .It suddenly went flat ,so they bought a new one.That was flat the next day ,too.. Turned out it was the fridge left on ...Hopefully , the first battery is ok , just flat , I've got it on charge ...

[dozeydustman]

yeah,  it's great being taught how to do J turns 

 

 

If it snows this winter, I'm taking her to an abandoned car park and first teaching her how to drive in snow, then how to have a bit of fun with the handbrake!

[Noel Tidybeard]

They were broken again by bedtime. Suspect better remaking needs to happen!

 

what get Rachel to do it?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

....runs and hides

[robinmasters]

Is anything actually covered by that any warranty, or is it just a worthless shite of paper?

 

FTFY.

 

Nah, it amused me greatly. Little things and all that.

 

It actually got better...she then made another call and asked the recipient to get her a dairy free latte, she’d be there in ten minutes. In Preston FFS. Hilarious.

 

My old boss was a twat. A massive twat. He had a small number of oft-repeated anecdotes which he used to ingratiate himself to other twats; most were shit.

 

The only funny one was about a greasy spoon near Croydon. Twatty boss said 'Can I get a latte?', to which the cafe owner said 'Not in here mate'.

 

Incidentally, twatty boss had no idea how bad this story made him look. 

[PhilA]

Because cardboard it looks like it's got Freddie Mercury's teeth.

 

But still. Funny

 

 

[rainagain]

I don't really see the point of the act when no one enforces it. I have now had 2 customers who have bought lemons and tried to reject them within 10 days but the traders have said no and no amount of quoting the act will get them to cough up as they know they will never be prosecuted for it.

This, everytime I’ve been shafted as a consumer and spoken to Trading standards all the ever say is write them a letter, send it recorded delivery and then if that fails take them to the small claims court. I don’t understand why they can’t just call the dodgy seller/trader up and say follow the rules or we will make you and then fine you, why does it have to be up the consumer to carry out the enforcement?

[Pillock]

Trading Standards aren't public-facing. They're the government body responsible for mass enforcement such as raiding warehouses full of exploding tellytubby dolls. Public contact Citizens Advice who will suggest going to the seller first, and then small claims court.

 

Trading Standards would only get involved if the dealer was deliberately knocking out hundreds of cars a month with faults.