What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[STUNO]

lovely warm Spring day today. It seems to be coming to an end !

 

 

EDIT...Next morning now and nothing happened at all, grin.

[Aston Martin]

I saw an opportunity.... Waited 5 minutes and went for it.

[Stanky]

As I left work earlier I spotted a newish Audi A4 in resale silver, nothing much to comment on there, however the plate surround thing suggested it had potentially passed through our very own purveyor of Vauxhall's finest products at some time.

 

Check it out

 

https://www.cavectracentre.com/

 

I thought he lived in Chester, not Grays?

 

Anyway, glad to see they've clearly not moved with the times at all on the name, though I doubt someone would be entirely happy with the plate surround thing on a twenty grand Bentley!

[danthecapriman]

Nothing major I suppose but today I popped out in the Volvo, went round the corner to get some petrol, filled up and went inside to pay.

Came back outside to find a passing elderly couple had stopped and were looking at the Volvo lovingly! As I got closer I could hear them say what a lovely old car it was!

 

Made me smile because it’s nice to see all your efforts making and keeping things nice do get noticed sometimes, but also because old 740’s are certainly are not what you’d call appreciated classic cars and rarely get much attention.

[Fumbler]

Oh they are in this household. I just like Volvos.

[busmansholiday]

And I was only there on Thursday..

 

 

WOMAN BANNED FOR LIFE ON BRADFORD BUSES

 

A woman has received a lifetime ban from a Bradford bus company after repeatedly breaking wind in their vehicles. On one occasion a driver was physically sick.

 

Bradford Magistrates Court heard how Yolande Pogba, aged 48 from Lumb Lane, Bradford revelled in what she was doing and on most occasions would bend over to create the maximum impact.

 

On 18th June 2016, Mrs Pogba (pictured) boarded a packed bus at Bradford Interchange and crouched next to an elderly gentleman. As the bus set off, she let off an excruciating sound from her bottom. Mrs Pogba, clearly impressed with her actions then shouted "Some bastard has squashed a Frog"

 

The bus company recorded 148 separate incidents. On the 22nd June, she boarded a bus in Holmewood and forced her way into the drivers cab, repeatedly breaking wind, cupping her hands and rubbing the atrocious smell into the drivers face until he was sick.

 

Solicitor Rick Head, representing Mrs Pogba asked for the court to be sympathetic "My client is addicted to Jamaican Rum and kidney beans and unfortunately this brings out the worst in her personality and makes her bottom talk"

 

The court fined Mrs Pogba £375 and ordered her to pay £20 compensation to the bus driver - Mr Bob Aloo Bhuna. She was also sentenced to 120 hours community service. Pmsl

[Wack]

Yo bro ya new wheels is sick

 

 

Wus they expensive

 

Nah

 

[Tamworthbay]

Researching bits and pieces for the upcoming epic saving of the Ovlov, crank locking requires a special tool that is not available to buy anywhere but can be ordered from Sweden for £90 OR shove a big fuckoff screwdriver in the inspection hole to wedge the flywheel. Guess which option I think we will be going with? Parts are being slowly collected and hopefully Saturday will see it sorted with any luck (provided parts arrive from Germany in time). I have decided to treat it to a new serpentine belt and air filter while we are at it (it had oil and filter two weeks ago) as they will have to be removed so makes sense to put new back for the sake of a few quid. Only a crappy Crosland air filter but can’t stretch to a better one and not that fussed for air filters.

[Cheggers]

And I was only there on Thursday..

 

 

WOMAN BANNED FOR LIFE ON BRADFORD BUSES

 

A woman has received a lifetime ban from a Bradford bus company after repeatedly breaking wind in their vehicles. On one occasion a driver was physically sick.

 

Bradford Magistrates Court heard how Yolande Pogba, aged 48 from Lumb Lane, Bradford revelled in what she was doing and on most occasions would bend over to create the maximum impact.

 

On 18th June 2016, Mrs Pogba (pictured) boarded a packed bus at Bradford Interchange and crouched next to an elderly gentleman. As the bus set off, she let off an excruciating sound from her bottom. Mrs Pogba, clearly impressed with her actions then shouted "Some bastard has squashed a Frog"

 

The bus company recorded 148 separate incidents. On the 22nd June, she boarded a bus in Holmewood and forced her way into the drivers cab, repeatedly breaking wind, cupping her hands and rubbing the atrocious smell into the drivers face until he was sick.

 

Solicitor Rick Head, representing Mrs Pogba asked for the court to be sympathetic "My client is addicted to Jamaican Rum and kidney beans and unfortunately this brings out the worst in her personality and makes her bottom talk"

 

The court fined Mrs Pogba £375 and ordered her to pay £20 compensation to the bus driver - Mr Bob Aloo Bhuna. She was also sentenced to 120 hours community service. Pmsl

Nice, which spoof news site is this from?

[Noel Tidybeard]

citreon cactus's's'ses have corgi whizwheels

[Tadhg Tiogar]

Nice, which spoof news site is this from?

It seems to have appeared on ARRSE round about 2006/7

[John F]

Tadhg Tiogar, on 08 Oct 2018 - 10:09 PM, said:

It seems to have appeared on ARRSE round about 2006/7

 

"Bob Aloo Bhuna", eh? Hmmmm...

[LightBulbFun]

 

 

(has anyone here buying fresh chod ever come across any live mice or what have you living inside?)

[Aston Martin]

I saw an opportunity.... Waited 5 minutes and went for it.

I posted this on the Cactus forum (cos I'm a loser)

 

This probably doesn't happen to people with a blue Fezza Zetec.

 

(Going through this guys posts and his Cactus has been recalled many times, he's had two new rear doors and 6 resprays amongst other citroen related issues)

[Kiltox]

Six resprays....? That sounds a stretch of his imagination. They'd have just had the car back off him before it got that far you'd have thought.

Probably not full resprays like

[omegod]

I posted this on the Cactus forum (cos I'm a loser)

 

This probably doesn't happen to people with a blue Fezza Zetec.

 

(Going through this guys posts and his Cactus has been recalled many times, he's had two new rear doors and 6 resprays amongst other citroen related issues)

 

I heard there had been a spike in paint problems with these 

[Aston Martin]

For a Sept 14 car which has covered 34,000 miles it has had so many recalls and replacement parts well exceeding £3000. Here are a few.

 

Catalytic converter, new rear discs and pads, 2 rear doors, multiple re-sprays (6), latches, adblue reservoir and injector and no doubt other faults I have forgotten about. Just had its BIG service and MOT yesterday which has cost £480. The only thing which has been faultless is the engine.

 

My car will have had 6 door resprays, 2 new doors, 3 sets of air-bumps when this work has been completed and it doesn't finish there.

 

He had his doors replaced, which is common on early ones. The body shop fitted doors from Wickes by the look of it. Then his bubbles expanded and stretched the paint.

 

I have noticed my doors making a loud popping noise in extreme heat.

[Tadhg Tiogar]

 

image (1).png

 

(has anyone here buying fresh chod ever come across any live mice or what have you living inside?)

Mine have never come with rodents as a standard fitting. On the other hand, spiders seem to like moving into my cars shortly after I've bought them, and they always build webs on the passenger side.

[fordperv]

Popped up to get some mk4 escort sunroof parts earlier off a guy we have never spoken to and have never met this guy before, as well as the parts we were buying he told me to go through his boxes of bits of stuff and anything of use i could have for nowt as he was only going to bin it all, sent us away with several central locking actuators because I mentioned I needed 1, door lock mechanisms with rods, electric window wiring looms and quite a few other bits and bobs that I knew would help a mate of mine out, he also gave me 4 big tins of sprayable tetra schutz, a new gun for them for the compressor, a new reel of stainless mig wire, couldn't believe it

[Saabnut]

To follow up my post in the "News" thread on Sunday, I am happy to announce a grin as a follow up! The recently acquired 500 quid Mitsubishi did the 939 mile journey down without any problems. One very happy Saabnut!

[clayts450]

Customer with a leaky roof sent us this photo of her living room ceiling today....Much mirth....

 

[ShiteRider]

Just had my neighbour from over the road knock and ask for a jump. She'd left her lights on (rough '53 plate A4 convertible). I've never spoken to her before, just the odd smile and nod, only realised now she's french. Her accent is gorgeous, can't really place her ethnically i'm guessing north African, but could be mixed afro/Caribbean very pretty either way.

Got the car going and she was very grateful even offered me a fiver, being a gent I declined.Though it was probably her phone number, it is dark...

[dozeydustman]

Just had my neighbour from over the road knock and ask for a jump. She'd left her lights on (rough '53 plate A4 convertible). I've never spoken to her before, just the odd smile and nod, only realised now she's french. Her accent is gorgeous, can't really place her ethnically i'm guessing north African, but could be mixed afro/Caribbean very pretty either way.

Got the car going and she was very grateful even offered me a fiver, being a gent I declined.Though it was probably her phone number, it is dark...

 

 

Keep an eye out to see if there is a man of the house. If not, take her to McDonalds

[ShiteRider]

I'm a Lancashire man, pie and a pint a bitter by the canal.

[eddyramrod]

I saw a friend yesterday who hadn't seen me for several weeks.  She thought I looked "perky" (her adjective) so maybe I AM getting better...

[dollywobbler]

Our underfloor heating is controlled by six wireless thermostats. Naturally, now it's getting colder, two of them packed up. Replacements are about £68 each. Yikes. Naturally, that forces one to be a bit adventurous in the name of thriftiness, so I got the soldering iron out, remade a few connections and now have two working thermostats again! Hoorah! Wonder how long they'll last?

[Craig the Princess]

Our underfloor heating is controlled by six wireless thermostats. Naturally, now it's getting colder, two of them packed up. Replacements are about £68 each. Yikes. Naturally, that forces one to be a bit adventurous in the name of thriftiness, so I got the soldering iron out, remade a few connections and now have two working thermostats again! Hoorah! Wonder how long they'll last?

Watch out Big Clive, Hub Nut is coming into your turf

[somewhatfoolish]

Customer with a leaky roof sent us this photo of her living room ceiling today....Much mirth....

 

IMG_1846.JPG

Penicillin required!

[DeeJay]

Mine have never come with rodents as a standard fitting. On the other hand, spiders seem to like moving into my cars shortly after I've bought them, and they always build webs on the passenger side.

Do you buy the cars off the Web?

[dollywobbler]

Watch out Big Clive, Hub Nut is coming into your turf

It's ok. They're already broken again.