What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Reminds me of something I posted on another forum a couple of years ago. I'd had a FUN DAY manning a charity stall at a car boot sale. 
 

Visitor 1: How much for the camera?

Me: Two quid.

Visitor 1 examines camera for three minutes

Visitor 1: It takes the big memory cards

Me: Compact Flash.

Visitor 1 continues to block stall while mulling over the life altering decision of whether or not to buy a £2 Nikon Coolpix

Me: It is a very good camera.

Visitor 1 leaves without camera.

 

Visitor 2: How much is the camera?

Me: Two quid

Visitor 2 reacts as if he has discovered a Picasso in a skip, until he opens the battery door

Visitor 2: Oh, it doesn't have any batteries

Me: It takes rechargable AAs.

Visitor 2 leaves.

 

Visitor 3: How much is the camera?

Me: two quid, it is a very good camera

Visitor 3: It's rather old

Me: Yes, this is why it is nestled between Friends VHSes on a pasting table and not on a rotating plinth in Jessops

Visitor 3 leaves

 

Visitor 1 returns to re-appraise the camera. Unfortnately it has not yet evolved an SD card slot. Visitor 1 leaves.

 

Visitor 4: Would you take a quid for the camera?

Me: Yes

Visitor 4's wife mutters something to him, apparently another stall has a Nikon D800 for five pence

Visitor 4: Oh, never mind.

Me: DIE IN A DITCH (not out loud)

 

Visitor 1 walks past slowly

 

I return home and put camera back in drawer.

[Cavcraft]

It's all a game. You generally get to know if people really want something or not. I often find if someone makes an offer that just saying 'ok thanks anyhow' works. They either have to poss or get off the pot and the moment they either come back or reply you've generally got your money.

[RedSparrow]

This chap has uploaded some old John Shuttleworth TV shows which I haven't seen for ages...

Currently watching Europigeon.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELm9ojKMGGY

 

Looks like he's put 500 bus stops up too.

[AnthonyG]

Collecting a few piles of early 1970s car magazines from Messerschmidt owner, and seeing his collection of microcars and French chod. And a superb cup of tea into the bargain! Cheers MO!

 

Amazing how excited journalists got about the Vauxhall Firenza, judged by the number of road tests they did on them.

[Pillock]

Next time put some 50p alkaline batteries in the camera and charge £5. The batteries will last for approx. one picture.

 

I've got to do a car boot sale soon. Loads of books but they don't seem to sell well here, and it's a pain lugging them around. Loads of computer bits, tools out the shed.... Trouble is a lot of stuff needs electrickery which is hard to get in a field so people pay as though it's assumed duff.

[TimothyClaypole]

"I'll be here next week".  Sorted. 

 

 

How much for the books?

 

£3.00

 

I couldn't possibly pay more than £1.00

 

Ok they are still £3.00

 

He bought some bars of soap instead...

 

 

Another buyer was haggling over some metal light switches/sockets wanting them for nothing so I put a bag over my head and told him I'd rather suffocate myself than sell them for that price. 

 

I made over £200 at the last one I went to but that was giving stuff away almost, that I'd got for free - I couldn't do it with stuff I'd bought, people are just peasants at them these days.  I liked the idea they ran off thinking they'd got a bargain and robbed me blind while laughing as I counted the 100% profit. 

[Pete-M]

Jag has a brilliant curry hook.

[drum]

My dad is a car man. In the sixties he had a couple of jags and an Austin Atlantic. When us sprogs came along he got volvos. The first was a 145S, reg TUS 604G. He still has a V70 diesel.

 

Anyways, after 40 odd years of sensible family cars and at the age of 73, he turned up at my door last night in this.

 

 

It's a V12 6 litre and it's lovely.

 

Mum says she's been living off tesco blue label for years and dad goes and spends their savings on this!

After a lifetime of scrimping on an agricultural wage, he deserves a wee treat to himself. Only problem is he's a bit self conscious about driving it.

[Cavcraft]

That's just fabulous.

[r.welfare]

What a beauty! The facelift models, in the right colour and on the right wheels (like this one) look fabulous.

[Asimo]

Ace Sweeney episode tonight, Simca Van, 4 lamp Princess, 6volt Beetle, HB Viva.

 

And Cheryl Campbell!

[320touring]

When I grow up I want to be DRUM'S DAD:)

[Tayne]

If he wants to move it on I may know someone who's interested.

[drum]

I don't think he has ever had a car for less than ten years.

[vulgalour]

 

That red one is gone.  Tomorrow I go and collect what's left of the orange one.  Princess Mission #3 GO GO GO!

[cobblers]

I was clicking at the internet while on the internet then this came up 

 

It's on Hirstcabs youtube channel. I don't recall the clicking sequence that got me there.

[purplebargeken]

To all owners of VW Beetles/Camper vans/Type 3 thingies. Stop using the following fucking words when writing your pathetic POS ebay ads:

 

Barn Find

Surf

 

Nnnnggghhhhh! 

[The Moog]

On 4od yesterday I found some short clips of Guy Martin talking about his passions, one of which is a Rolls Royce Merlin engine.

 

It is awesome

[wuvvum]

Just been to the printer, happened to look out of the window and saw an immaculate pale green Dyane driving past the office.  Whoever said office work was boring...?

[hairnet]

Ace Sweeney episode tonight, Simca Van, 4 lamp Princess, 6volt Beetle, HB Viva.

 

And Cheryl Campbell!

 

without googling - john mcvicars missus in the film of him ?? [/nerd]

[HH-R]

To all owners of VW Beetles/Camper vans/Type 3 thingies. Stop using the following fucking words when writing your pathetic POS ebay ads:

 

Barn Find

Surf

 

Nnnnggghhhhh! 

Had the misfortune of being stuck behind one of these piles of shite for AGES the other day. It didn't go above 35 and took about three days to get there. Hopefully Top Gear will take a dislike to them.

 

Edit: I think we have the wrong thread...

[Pillock]

On 4od yesterday I found some short clips of Guy Martin talking about his passions, one of which is a Rolls Royce Merlin engine.

 

It is awesome

I recommend any Guy Martin stuff where he gets to talk about what makes him tick. He has quite a Dibnah way of describing machinery and manages to get the patronising-technical balance about right.

[Pete-M]

Today I went in a full works David Sutton prepared original factory Mk1 Escort Twin Cam.

 

I've waited to go in one of these since I was about 12.

 

It was better than I'd imagined it could be.

 

This has made me very happy indeed.

[Lacquer Peel]

I like how you have to spend thousands on RWD Escorts to make them good.

[Pete-M]

Good.

[michael1703]

Mention of Guy Martin on a car forum?

 

Any bike love on here?

 

If so, watch these

 

 

[fordperv]

I have just seen a post brenhinol van at my local pez station (stoke) when I was putting some fuel in, I laughed thinking he's a bit far from his round

[cort16]

Remember that super sweet track allegro that was for sale on retro rides that made my love onions hurt? Well here it is in the manx rally!

 

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/motorsport/27140755

[KruJoe]

[Ghosty]

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