The most useless feature of a car?

[horriblemercedes]

32 minutes ago, Inspector Morose said:

Meh.

Alfa Romeo 75?

[Talbot]

I've no idea what that is, but it looks *absolutely* awesome!

Touchscreens are bloody annoying, but not "pointless", as they still serve a purpose.  The most utterly pointless feature I've seen in a car is the ability to change the performance of the engine or gearbox.  I know a lot of modern BMWs have the ability to change the power output from the touchscreen inside the car... what on earth is the point of that?  If you've got a 400hp engine, you want said 400hp under your right foot at all times.  You don't want it to be set to some restrictive value, and have to change it *before* needing said power.   Utterly utterly pointless.

[Talbot]

On 3/6/2023 at 12:41 AM, Spiny Norman said:

My experience is that it increases my stress levels because I'm constantly having to actively monitor and adjust my speed via a stalk on the steering column rather than relying on the sub-conscious 30+ years of eye-to-right foot muscle memory that enables me to blend my speed to match the general traffic flow without thinking using the accelerator, which seems perfectly suited to that purpose.

I think it depends a lot on the traffic levels.  I find using cruse control a lot easier in light traffic than I do in heavy.  If traffic gets too heavy, then i have to flip the cruise off and drive normally.  Using cruise in heavy traffic definitely takes more concentration than not using it.

[catsinthewelder]

6 hours ago, Rustybullethole said:

This is a grumpy post feel free to ignore me. 
I fucking hate driver assists. I hate more that the cunting things are on when I get in the car.
 

Surely they should be an option for those who need/choice to use them rather than a blanket for all who need to learn how to turn them off (sometimes every time they start the vehicle or sometimes that they are stuck with them and they can’t be disabled)

My transit raises the revs when you up the clutch. I often on a bumpy track want to pull away at idle. Fuck off.

It also has traction control. I discovered this when it failed to climb my mildly snowy drive. Fuck off.

It also has abs. I like to control my own braking. Fuck off. 
 

I realise that everyone has a different opinion though this is mine and won’t be changed.

 

If I find out what's broken on one of our Peugeot Boxers I'll tell you what to unplug as the start of every journey is a series of bongs as it tells you that hill start assist, ABS and traction control aren't available.

[Spiny Norman]

25 minutes ago, horriblemercedes said:

Alfa Romeo 75?

Alfa 75, yes.
 

 

[yes oui si]

2 hours ago, Talbot said:

I've no idea what that is, but it looks *absolutely* awesome!

Touchscreens are bloody annoying, but not "pointless", as they still serve a purpose.  The most utterly pointless feature I've seen in a car is the ability to change the performance of the engine or gearbox.  I know a lot of modern BMWs have the ability to change the power output from the touchscreen inside the car... what on earth is the point of that?  If you've got a 400hp engine, you want said 400hp under your right foot at all times.  You don't want it to be set to some restrictive value, and have to change it *before* needing said power.   Utterly utterly pointless.

One of the benefits of DBW tech is that rather than just changing the peak power figure, it works with the ecu to change the torque profile. In the cars I've driven with such things it's been nice to have a wafty cruiser when you want it and a more eager car when you want to rag it. 

[Rustybullethole]

On 3/9/2023 at 10:39 AM, Metal Guru said:

Mini Countryman has a weird T shaped hand brake. It’s conventional in operation but awkward to use unless it’s your only car.

But why? Style over substance sure, but that’s the thing. It doesn’t look any better than a normal handbrake and no one has ever got in the car and commented on it. Completely pointless.

Also see megane 2. Less rally fly off more fly apart. Shite. 

[Timewaster]

Anything that goes bong!

My current modern isn't too bad, but the Mitsubishi I had before, Jesus!

Door open, Bing bing bing bing!

Keys in the car, Bong Bong Bong!

Keys not in the car, Bong!

Cold outside, Bong!

No seatbelt, Clang Clang Clang Clang!

Clutch not down. Bong!

A car within 10 yards. Bing bing bing!

Just a constant racket of horrible noise. No need!

The hired Volvo I had made more pleasant hums rather than bongs and clangs.

Still unnecessary.

 

 

 

[iainrcz]

My car has reverse self park, never tried and I've no intention of. It's easy enough to park as it is.

[EyesWeldedShut]

On 3/9/2023 at 6:46 PM, yes oui si said:

One of the benefits of DBW tech is that rather than just changing the peak power figure, it works with the ecu to change the torque profile. In the cars I've driven with such things it's been nice to have a wafty cruiser when you want it and a more eager car when you want to rag it. 

Rightmost pedal works for me? Wafty, wafty. Kickdown GLF .

[Spiny Norman]

16 minutes ago, Timewaster said:

Anything that goes bong!

Generally tend to agree but I miss not having a lights on buzzer in the Saab. It's already cost me one jump start this year...

[S2000]

Puddle lights….. I don't park in a puddle if it’s been raining. If it’s rained when I come back I’ve still got to walk through a puddle in the dark and get my socks in sandles wet. Does Daly Thompson illuminate a puddle and long jump through the window? No. Do I drive the General Lee, have unclean thoughts about my sister called Daisy and haul myself through a welded door? No.

Come to think of it what’s the feckin point of lowering my windows with the remote?  Or opening the sunroof ?
 

don’t get me started on air conditioned cubby or glove boxes……

[Asimo]

10 hours ago, S2000 said:

don’t get me started on air conditioned cubby or glove boxes……

They are useful for keeping your beer and sandwiches cold.

[Remspoor]

22 hours ago, S2000 said:

don’t get me started on air conditioned cubby or glove boxes……

They are very useful here in Spain. Drinks are cooled No melting chocolate too.

I expect there are a number of other counties where this is useful😉

[RoverFolkUs]

On 3/10/2023 at 9:22 PM, Timewaster said:

Anything that goes bong!

My current modern isn't too bad, but the Mitsubishi I had before, Jesus!

Door open, Bing bing bing bing!

Keys in the car, Bong Bong Bong!

Keys not in the car, Bong!

Cold outside, Bong!

No seatbelt, Clang Clang Clang Clang!

Clutch not down. Bong!

A car within 10 yards. Bing bing bing!

Just a constant racket of horrible noise. No need!

The hired Volvo I had made more pleasant hums rather than bongs and clangs.

Still unnecessary.

 

 

 

Citroen/Peugeot took the task of creating the most FUCKING ANNOYING tell-tale sound a bit too seriously 😂

 

 

[AnnoyingPentium]

12 hours ago, RoverFolkUs said:

Citroen/Peugeot took the task of creating the most FUCKING ANNOYING tell-tale sound a bit too seriously 😂

 

 

God I still hate these. Used to have loads of these come in as Motability returns at Arnold Clark and this bloody noise was a nightmare.

[Three Speed]

I don't make much use of either the G-meter or the power meter on my wife's Golf 1.5 TSI estate. I think they would actually be quite distracting at any time they redisplaying interesting information. I only see them displaying zeros. Maybe more useful if they came up on a head-up display and the car had a 5-point harness and roll cage. But the dog in the boot might complain.

[St.Jude]

On 3/9/2023 at 3:55 PM, Talbot said:

The most utterly pointless feature I've seen in a car is the ability to change the performance of the engine or gearbox.

I would like to add computer controlled gearboxes and throttle to the list.

Was in my wife’s Merc, I put it in P as I was waiting for lights to change. Except the lights went green. I stuck it in D, put the pedal down - nothing for 2 seconds and then it decided to move. 

I hate that bloody car, yet most moderns will have this feature. And it’s shit.

[sierraman]

Am I the only one that just prefers manual heating. 

[PhilA]

On 3/12/2023 at 7:19 AM, AnnoyingPentium said:

God I still hate these. Used to have loads of these come in as Motability returns at Arnold Clark and this bloody noise was a nightmare.

Christ

 

That's fist through the dashboard right there.

 

Automatics that lock out P electrically have a manual release for if the battery is dead, usually under the trim. Read The Manual, it'll tell you.

Heated seats- that's common here where people don't want to be bundled up like Scott of the Antarctic so sitting on cold seats in just a shirt is exactly that, cold. 

 

I rented a Chevy Captiva when I was there last (sold here as the Traverse), but the interior had been redesigned for the UK- seems as though when the designers are given free reign they want to start fannying about with the design and making it more European. Sadly the American layout was better. I find a lot of European design pretentious - see commonly used controls 3 menus deep and a horde of methamphetamine addled Cylons under the dash for warning sounds.

Why does it have to be different? Here, the headlight switch is on the same place it has been since the fifties, indicators too, radio controls tend to be volume and tuning and heater controls generally have their own buttons.

 

Designers that aren't looking for "looks most like a Lightcycle from Tron" award and ones that actually design the interior to carry people and be operated by people might be better.

 

I think the designers are the problem in modern cars

[Metal Guru]

On 03/03/2023 at 05:19, New POD said:

Run flats 

I’ve made sure my wife’s car has run flats. I don’t want the phone call to go and change a wheel on a dark rainy night.

[grogee]

Indicators. Why should I tell you where I'm going? It's a violation of my GDPR rights. 

[New POD]

3 hours ago, Metal Guru said:

I’ve made sure my wife’s car has run flats. I don’t want the phone call to go and change a wheel on a dark rainy night.

As long as there is a working Pressure warning system and the driver understands the limitations of a run flat. And doesn't exceed distance and speed. How many people with run flats have actually understood or read the manual? 

[mitsisigma01]

3 hours ago, Metal Guru said:

I’ve made sure my wife’s car has run flats. I don’t want the phone call to go and change a wheel on a dark rainy night.

When is her birthday, at least get her a head torch, waterproofs and a link to wheel changing on YouTube, sorted👍

[uk_senator]

On 3/9/2023 at 8:41 AM, bunglebus said:

See also: electronic handbrakes

A neighbour displaying electronic handbrake issues last weekend.. Turned itself on as they pulled away & refused to come off. (was there for 2 days & hauled off on a transporter)

[Lankytim]

4 hours ago, uk_senator said:

A neighbour displaying electronic handbrake issues last weekend.. Turned itself on as they pulled away & refused to come off. (was there for 2 days & hauled off on a transporter)

A few months ago I was driving a Mercedes lorry, 44 tons worth. First of all the E brake wouldn’t release then back at the yard it wouldn’t engage. These auto trucks can’t be left in gear so there was no way of me parking the lorry up and getting out. In the end I drove it straight to the local Merc dealer, they deleted all the fault codes and it’s been fine since. Oddly the only codes they found related to the mirror cameras! 

[Rusty Pelican]

Mercs foot / hand brake effort . use your left foot to apply and pull off with your right hand . they often stick and the handle sometimes grenades and falls off . On an auto like mine i guess its OK , On any Merc with a manual box it must be a right mare , use mine once a month to stop it seizing - other wise its an ornament

 

[Spiny Norman]

7 hours ago, Rusty Pelican said:

Mercs foot / hand brake effort . use your left foot to apply and pull off with your right hand . they often stick and the handle sometimes grenades and falls off . On an auto like mine i guess its OK , On any Merc with a manual box it must be a right mare , use mine once a month to stop it seizing - other wise its an ornament

 

Always seemed a daft way of doing it to me, apart from anything else it means another set of different tooling for lhd/rhd markets. I found the trick to avoiding the most un-prestige-car-like BANG! when you pull the handle to release it was to use your left foot to cushion the blow, almost like declutching the pedal.
Electronic handbrakes can GITFS, another case if of 'it's worked perfectly well for 60 years, why fuck with it?' I simply can't see the benefit. I once heard it was to save the space taken up by the lever but most cars have trays in front of the lever for storage and a big bin, often with an armrest above so I'm not buying that.

I once went to the garage to pick my car up after an MOT and when I got there they were all standing round some Shiterion thing that had decided its electric brake wasn't for releasing. Unfortunately it was blocking their door and I was rather* insistent that I could get my car so the owner's Merc CL500 was called into action to drag the fucker out the way.

[GregZX]

Low screen wash sensor. Sounds like a good idea but in my skoda it’s triggered at half left. And then it goes off and on again when you turn the corner. Just another unnecessary dash light, like the one that goes off at 4 degrees temperature, usually accompanied by me shouting “what the fucks wrong with you now!!!!”

[motorpunk]

On 11/03/2023 at 23:37, RoverFolkUs said:

Citroen/Peugeot took the task of creating the most FUCKING ANNOYING tell-tale sound a bit too seriously 😂

 

 

Fuck me, that is the most annoying sound I have ever heard.