Jump to content

The most useless feature of a car?


St.Jude

Recommended Posts

1 minute ago, warch said:

Actually they were originally intended to allow you to insert four packs of fruit flavoured yoghurt straight into the boot without leaving the car.

I don’t eat yoghurt….

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I should add cup holders to my previous list of useless features. I've never felt it was a good idea to drink from a massive bendy paper cup filled with hot coffee while driving. Luckily my current Volvo has removable cup holders leaving a usefull cubby.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sunroofs. I've never seen anyone open one. They only seem to depreciate your car either through leaking or in the case of a classic, destroying it from the inside out.

Electric memory seats can be hit and miss. In the LS400 and C70 they work well and I like to be able to change my driving position while driving.  But on the C70 when trying to fold the front seat forward to let someone into the back is embarrassing. You hold the seat forward and it veeeeeeery slowly creeps along while you and your passengers look at each other awkwardly for what seems like an eternity.

I only have automatic wipers on the Trafic and they work amazingly well. It seems to always pre-empt me and it's one thing I just drive never worrying about the wipers.

I've never understood automatic lights. They only seem to serve to teach people to never switch their lights on, ever. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

18 hours ago, Talbot said:

You're using it wrong, I think.

Fairly sure you can set up seat/mirror/steering wheel profiles against the different keys, so when your wife unlocks the car, it moves everything to her position, and when you use your/another key to unlock, it moves everything to that keyholder's preference.

I know I did it wrong when I used the second key on our V70 for the first time and the electric seat then proceeded to squish me against the steering wheel like some fleshy sausage offering to the Volvo gods.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sunroofs were so cool pre aircon, moon roof on the Granvia still is. Let's you stand up and pee into the bucket, saves going outside

  • Haha 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Having to depress the clutch pedal to start the car. It's a pain when doing work on the car and you want to start it up without the faff of getting in and out.

Apple Car Play. I will never own an Apple product, I prefer oranges.

Heated seats, why do you need to heat your seats?

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

15 hours ago, Remspoor said:

This may be two in one. Day light running lamps. Whilst most agree that they are an important road safety feature. The issue for me is that the rear lamps are usually not lit when these are in use. To make the rear lamps work the headlamps have to be switched on. That brings me to gripe number two. Auto headlamps. They do not work in poor visibility during daylight. So No headlamps and no rear lamps due to automation for the unintelligent.

Depends what car in truth, they're pretty effective in the Merc without even noticing it, you just occasionally see the little green lamp pop up on the dash when you go through a dark area.

I love the elec seats and keyless entry personally.

To be fair though, the jeep grand Cherokee I had was better, you pressed a numbered button on the fob and it set it up ready for you.

One pointless feature my mates povvo spec w205 has is the elec  boot opens from the fob but you need to manually close it? Mine works both ways and touchless (although I always forget that 🤣🤣🤣) but the best feature is you can lock the whole car from the boot via a separate switch, really handy.

I've found with moderns that at first a lot of the extras appear to be pretty pointless but then you get in a 20yr old car and start to miss them pretty quickly.

I'm as at home with a base spec car with windy windows, no c/l etc as an ultra modern but after a while it gets a bit tedious checking every door is locked and the boot, lights are off as there's no warning buzzer, stereo left on with no switched live.

I think we forget just hope far even basic tech has come since the 80's.

Driving something now without pas is horrific.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

52 minutes ago, MiniMinorMk3 said:

Having to depress the clutch pedal to start the car. It's a pain when doing work on the car and you want to start it up without the faff of getting in and out.

Apple Car Play. I will never own an Apple product, I prefer oranges.

Heated seats, why do you need to heat your seats?

The only car I’ve had where you had to depress the clutch to start was a Jeep Cherokee. However, if off roading , the technique for starting on a very steep slope, requires the clutch to be engaged. I suppose it’s just snip a wire to override it , but seems strange to have on a car like that.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 minutes ago, Metal Guru said:

The only car I’ve had where you had to depress the clutch to start was a Jeep Cherokee. However, if off roading , the technique for starting on a very steep slope, requires the clutch to be engaged. I suppose it’s just snip a wire to override it , but seems strange to have on a car like that.

Agricultural tractors have had this sort of arrangement since as long as I can remember. My motorbike also has a clutch interlock which I can bypass by sticking a paperclip into the switch.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, FakeConcern said:

I should add cup holders to my previous list of useless features. I've never felt it was a good idea to drink from a massive bendy paper cup filled with hot coffee while driving.

I actually use cup holders. But usually for a small bottle of water. I agree a semi molten paper cup of sticky liquid isnt a good idea.

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I suppose a good way to tell what's is important or useful is if you miss it when it's gone.

My latest daily lacks the heated screen and heated seats that my previous car had.

Heated seats not so much, but the heated screen was brilliant on a frosty morning. Now I'm back to jugs of warm water.

So that was a useful thing.

I had a hired Volvo that had air conditioned seats. They were lovely in last year's heatwave.

I never have and never will be a fan of climate control. I want a hot/cold lever.

I don't want to set a temperature on a digital display and be blasted with roasting hot or freezing cold air until the temperature is reached.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, MiniMinorMk3 said:

Having to depress the clutch pedal to start the car. It's a pain when doing work on the car and you want to start it up without the faff of getting in and out.

Apple Car Play. I will never own an Apple product, I prefer oranges.

Heated seats, why do you need to heat your seats?

I know what you mean but leaning through windows is a terrible habit... Even though I do it 😆

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Automatic climate control.  

To wit: it's cold outside so I am cold.  I get in the car and, shivering, desire an interior hotter than the chilli con carne on spicy Friday in Hell's canteen.  I set the heater to maximum and wait.  After a while the car is like a furnace inside and I am happier so turn the heating down to an intermediate level.  Later I fancy a bit of fresh air, open the window and turn up the heater to compensate.

I am a human being and my temperature goes up and down.  I decide whether I want the car to be cold or hot inside and adjust the heater accordingly.  All those naff computer nerd types who whine nasally about the fact that 'it's set to exactly 15.567803878743847923892874217939128397438 degrees centigrade in my car and that's the optimum temperature for all conditions so you're not allowed to touch it you stupid woman' can jump in the nearest bin and have the local teenagers tip leftover kebabs on them.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My sister has a Octavia VRS,it plays a different engine note through the speakers,I mean what's the fucking point of that???

It also has mood lighting in the door cards that you can change the colour on,totally pointless shite!🙄

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, MiniMinorMk3 said:

Having to depress the clutch pedal to start the car. 

Wife's Toyota Auris stop-start has this. I invariably have my foot on clutch anyway when starting a manual so no great issue and yes, it stops you starting it through the window while it's in gear!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Those wavy foot boot opening things. Great idea in theory, if you have 10 bags if shopping and they've cut off the circulation to your fingers, wave your foot under the bumper and the tailgate opens up.  In reality you stand for 5 minutes on one leg doing the Macarena whilst nothing happens.

Except when you are fitting a towbar, when it works every time, just as you get up off the ground, the tailgate comes down to meet you... the lock unit right on the top of your head.

VW's . Why you need the rear foglight to cut off when you open the tailgate. There are about 15 white wires going up the D pillar to the tailgate.  You need to check every one with a testlight, with the foglight switched on. First time I didn't know the boot lock had to be in the closed position,  so some head scratching. Worked that one out and start checking all the white wires again. Nothing.  Then I realised that one of the white wires actuates the boot lock release when grounded. Start again....

Is coloured wire too expensive VW?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

VAG again.

You need to do any coding with all the doors closed. And the bonnet open. This makes me think the bonnet switch is part of all the Diesel gate nonsense... anyway. 

Download all the coding through an open window, modify coding, which with 1268 modules can take some time. I'm usually tidying away my tools by this time, when the helpful owner comes out to put his Werthers originals back in the glovebox...

NOÒOOOO.....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

VAG again..

A dedicated towing electrics kit, if someone hasn't specced the 150 quid extra towing pack when they bought the car means the wiring has to go to the body control module and fusebox. The body control module is on the LH side of the dash, with an inch of space at the plugs. You need 2 hands to release the plugs.... to get to the fusebox, you need to remove the sat nav unit, the entire glovebox, the entire fusebox and then split the plugs, remove the individual pins in the plugs, all whilst upside down and freezing. 

Still a hunner times better than a PSA  fusebox. If you  blow a fuse in one of these, scrap it..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Just now, MiniMinorMk3 said:

Not being able to get an auto out of park without the engine running and your foot on the brake.  

Engine running I can understand, foot on the brake is a good idea I think!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

27 minutes ago, High Jetter said:

Wife's Toyota Auris stop-start has this. I invariably have my foot on clutch anyway when starting a manual so no great issue and yes, it stops you starting it through the window while it's in gear!

I always check car is not in-gear before attempting a start, even when working on it. Luckily my arms are long enough to reach the gear-stick whilst standing outside of the car with the door open, but my legs are too short to depress the pedal without getting in the car. Maybe I should buy a LHD to solve the problem.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 minutes ago, Barry Cade said:

Engine running I can understand, foot on the brake is a good idea I think!

If your battery goes dead and the battery is inaccessible because of the way the car is parked (small garage), it means the car is stuck without any lifting gear so you can lift the locked wheels to gain access.

In the olden days, before some one in America crashed their Audi because they put it in gear, you could move the auto stick at will. 

I have a Focus Auto, you can not move the gear lever from park unless it is running and you have your foot on the brake. However, you can move the lever from neutral to drive or reverse with the engine running without your foot on the brake, so what's the point in stopping it coming out of park?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

31 minutes ago, MiniMinorMk3 said:

If your battery goes dead and the battery is inaccessible because of the way the car is parked (small garage), it means the car is stuck without any lifting gear so you can lift the locked wheels to gain access.

In the olden days, before some one in America crashed their Audi because they put it in gear, you could move the auto stick at will. 

I have a Focus Auto, you can not move the gear lever from park unless it is running and you have your foot on the brake. However, you can move the lever from neutral to drive or reverse with the engine running without your foot on the brake, so what's the point in stopping it coming out of park?

If it's on a hill and there is a dog or a kid in the car? Many auto drivers never use the parking brake.. 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Barry Cade said:

If it's on a hill and there is a dog or a kid in the car? Many auto drivers never use the parking brake.. 

 

You should not leave children or dogs in a car unattended.

  • Haha 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

16 minutes ago, MiniMinorMk3 said:

You should not leave children or dogs in a car unattended.

An American sued McDonalds because their coffee was hot. 

Have you read a modern car handbook 😆

  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, RoverFolkUs said:

I know what you mean but leaning through windows is a terrible habit... Even though I do it 😆

Almost every garage has a tale where that has gone wrong 😂

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The S type R has electric height adjustable head restraints. My head is at the same height every day and I don't know anyone whose head is at different heights regularly. So this feature is pointless.

Another feature confined to the pointless bin but through progress and advancement in technology is that it also has a telephone machine. Not completely defunct as I have convinced the kids who have never seen one that it is in fact a Tazer that can be used on people dropping rubbish on the floor and farting in the car.

  • Like 3
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Barry Cade said:

An American sued McDonalds because their coffee was hot. 

Have you read a modern car handbook 😆

It always gets told as 'hot coffee' to minimise it as if she was taking the piss by suing. 

She had full-thickness third degree burns and needed skin grafts. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...