The grumpy thread

[New POD]

2 minutes ago, Jamie said:

? 

Apologies I meant @jakebullet

[Metal Guru]

1 hour ago, omegod said:

I hereby declare that Fords go through fucking  brake light bulbs more than any other brand 

I never replaced a brake light bulb on any vehicle I’ve owned including many Fords although the last was a 1990 Sierra. My Subaru seems to need a new number plate bulb every MOT though, and I had a Daihatsu that ate interior light bulbs.

[New POD]

1 hour ago, omegod said:

I hereby declare that Fords go through fucking  brake light bulbs more than any other brand 

Honda accord used to destroy dipped Beam bulbs with great regularity.  And it was a pain to replace them. 

[motorpunk]

Kids on eBikes and scooters delivering junk food, wobbling about all over the shop, paid peanuts, serving shit to the lazy. This makes me grumpy...

It is 101 years since White Castle invented the first fast food, burger chain. Too lazy to cook at home? We'll feed you. It's quick, convenient and cheap. Come and eat fast food. And then the rash of clones - Burger King, McDonalds, KFC and a million others, all shovelling shite down the bloated throats of the fat and lazy - they can't get enough. Bigger portions! Faster serving! More addictive ingredients! Fatter addicts happier customers! And now, because the fat fuckers can't drive (walking now a long-forgotten sport solely for keep fit maniacs) 10 minutes and fetch it themselves, there's the invention of delivery. Faster! Easier! Shovel it down quick! Deliveroo! Just East! Obesity Direct.com! From click to indigestion in a matter of minutes! All factory made, minimum-waged, a process designed to take your money to the toilet pan as fast as possible and leave you wanting MORE. A chain of parasitic companies sucking the nutrients from your (paper) plate and the money from people's livelihoods. Where does this industry go next? It needs to be bigger, faster! A generation of Americans who can't use cutlery. Us next. Finger food. Disposable packaging. How about pre-chewed food? How about the delivery driver (plastic) spoon-feeds you through your letterbox, straight down your cakehole? Faster! FASTER! How about they cut out the middle-man, the flavour, the taste, the sensation of different ingredients combining, the texture, the smell.... why not just recycle shit straight from the sewer, serve it in a box, throw it at your front door? Saves on digestion! Faster, faster! Why box it? Why not just get them a fucking app that repays users with a drive-by pelting of their house with human dung? DeliverPoo! JustCark! Let's put the muck into McDonalds (that worldplay works best with a midlands accent, admittedly). The whole industry and the shitty 'jobs' it created can wobble into a ditch on it's polluting Wong-Minge Lucky motorcycle factory number 6 machine, with the litter and despair it created, garnished with a high-viz vest and a side potion of clogged artery. 

[artdjones]

6 minutes ago, motorpunk said:

Kids on eBikes and scooters delivering junk food, wobbling about all over the shop, paid peanuts, serving shit to the lazy. This makes me grumpy...

It is 101 years since White Castle invented the first fast food, burger chain. Too lazy to cook at home? We'll feed you. It's quick, convenient and cheap. Come and eat fast food. And then the rash of clones - Burger King, McDonalds, KFC and a million others, all shovelling shite down the bloated throats of the fat and lazy - they can't get enough. Bigger portions! Faster serving! More addictive ingredients! Fatter addicts happier customers! And now, because the fat fuckers can't drive 10 minutes and fetch it themselves, there's the invention of delivery. Faster! Easier! Shovel it down quick! Deliveroo! Just East! Obesity Direct.com! From click to indigestion in a matter of minutes! All factory made, minimum-waged, a process designed to take your money to the toilet pan as fast as possible and leave you wanting MORE. Where does this industry go next? It needs to be bigger, faster! A generation of Americans who can't use cutlery. Us next. Finger food. Disposable packaging. How about pre-chewed food? How about the delivery driver (plastic) spoon-feeds you through your letterbox, straight down your cakehole? Faster! FASTER! How about they cut out the middle-man, the flavour, the taste, the sensation of different ingredients combining, the texture, the smell.... why not just recycle shit straight from the sewer, serve it in a box, throw it at your front door? Saves on digestion! Faster, faster! Why box it? Why not just get them a fucking app that repays users with a drive-by pelting of their house with human dung? DeliverPoo! JustCark! Let's put the muck into McDonalds (that worldplay works best with a midlands accent, admittedly). The whole industry and the shitty 'jobs' it created can wobble into a ditch on it's polluting Wong-Minge Lucky motorcycle factory number 6 machine, with the litter and despair it created, garnished with a high-viz vest and a side potion of clogged artery. 

Let me get this straight - you don't like fast food?

[motorpunk]

4 minutes ago, artdjones said:

Let me get this straight - you don't like fast food?

Not much. 

[Sham]

6 minutes ago, motorpunk said:

Not much. 

Wanna know what I had for tea?

[3VOM]

So just changed the oil and filter on the E39. Simple job, eh? Well no. Needed a 1/2" impact driver to remove the sump plug and stilsons to remove the filter housing top. And I can't reset the dash reminder for the service interval.

[Agila]

@motorpunkstarted off a strong rant then slightly* tailed off into a surreal utopia for the great unwashed.

Excellent 9/10, would read again.

[motorpunk]

3 hours ago, Sham said:

Wanna know what I had for tea?

Tea is too gentile a word to describe such shite food 😄

[Quintus]

9 hours ago, omegod said:

I hereby declare that Fords go through fucking  brake light bulbs more than any other brand 

Given the experience I had with my old 52 reg Focus, it's headlamp bulbs too.

[Crackers]

3 minutes ago, Quintus said:

Given the experience I had with my old 52 reg Focus, it's headlamp bulbs too.

Always the passenger side too, which needs a 2-foot pygmy with 10-foot arms to reach because the battery goes right where you want your hand to fanny about with the bulb holder spring clip. 

Not that I'm bitter about it or anything.

[Dobloseven]

Seen people driving some quite smart motors delivering Mcdonalds. Must say I had Mcdonalds for "tea" twice last week. Did go and fetch them myself though. 

[RoverFolkUs]

20 minutes ago, Quintus said:

Given the experience I had with my old 52 reg Focus, it's headlamp bulbs too.

Mine eat tail/brake light and front sidelight & dipped beam bulbs. Never main beam, side repeaters, reverse lamp (see the pattern here I guess - less used or not in a housing with other hot bulbs)

15 minutes ago, Crackers said:

Always the passenger side too, which needs a 2-foot pygmy with 10-foot arms to reach because the battery goes right where you want your hand to fanny about with the bulb holder spring clip. 

Not that I'm bitter about it or anything.

Laughs in MK2 Focus whereby each headlight can be removed in about 10 seconds to get all the access you could possibly need! Probably the best design feature of them, wish all cars were the same

[High Jetter]

6 hours ago, motorpunk said:

Kids on eBikes and scooters delivering junk food, wobbling about all over the shop, paid peanuts, serving shit to the lazy. This makes me grumpy...

It is 101 years since White Castle invented the first fast food, burger chain. Too lazy to cook at home? We'll feed you. It's quick, convenient and cheap. Come and eat fast food. And then the rash of clones - Burger King, McDonalds, KFC and a million others, all shovelling shite down the bloated throats of the fat and lazy - they can't get enough. Bigger portions! Faster serving! More addictive ingredients! Fatter addicts happier customers! And now, because the fat fuckers can't drive (walking now a long-forgotten sport solely for keep fit maniacs) 10 minutes and fetch it themselves, there's the invention of delivery. Faster! Easier! Shovel it down quick! Deliveroo! Just East! Obesity Direct.com! From click to indigestion in a matter of minutes! All factory made, minimum-waged, a process designed to take your money to the toilet pan as fast as possible and leave you wanting MORE. A chain of parasitic companies sucking the nutrients from your (paper) plate and the money from people's livelihoods. Where does this industry go next? It needs to be bigger, faster! A generation of Americans who can't use cutlery. Us next. Finger food. Disposable packaging. How about pre-chewed food? How about the delivery driver (plastic) spoon-feeds you through your letterbox, straight down your cakehole? Faster! FASTER! How about they cut out the middle-man, the flavour, the taste, the sensation of different ingredients combining, the texture, the smell.... why not just recycle shit straight from the sewer, serve it in a box, throw it at your front door? Saves on digestion! Faster, faster! Why box it? Why not just get them a fucking app that repays users with a drive-by pelting of their house with human dung? DeliverPoo! JustCark! Let's put the muck into McDonalds (that worldplay works best with a midlands accent, admittedly). The whole industry and the shitty 'jobs' it created can wobble into a ditch on it's polluting Wong-Minge Lucky motorcycle factory number 6 machine, with the litter and despair it created, garnished with a high-viz vest and a side potion of clogged artery. 

Hungry now? ( Our dinner came from local butcher with supermarket pots n veg)

[iainrcz]

I've eaten all my packup apart from  soup and sandwich.

Still 6 hours to go, I've a feeling I won't make it.

[wuvvum]

3 hours ago, motorpunk said:

Tea is too gentile a word to describe such shite food 😄

Would תה be better?

[LightBulbFun]

1 hour ago, wuvvum said:

Would תה be better?

!בטח

[somewhatfoolish]

Oy vey.

[sierraman]

11 hours ago, Dobloseven said:

Seen people driving some quite smart motors delivering Mcdonalds. Must say I had Mcdonalds for "tea" twice last week. Did go and fetch them myself though. 

Some might say they’re chasing about delivering takeaways at night to keep up with the repayments...

[goosey]

11 hours ago, Dobloseven said:

Seen people driving some quite smart motors delivering Mcdonalds. Must say I had Mcdonalds for "tea" twice last week. Did go and fetch them myself though. 

A work colleague uses his company C class to deliver takeaways for an Indian restaurant, he gets paid cash in hand and doesn’t pay for fuel or running costs so I suppose it’s all profit for him 

[HillmanImp]

I was hungover and ordered a McDonalds a while back. Its less than a mile and a half away as the crow flies but I can't be arsed being sat in traffic in Shipley so Deliveroo seems like a good option. 

I got a notification that it was on its way. 

Ordinarily, thats not unusual but there is a bit of an elevation gain between there and my house. 

You go girl. 

It ended up being delivered by a bloke in a car though. 

[Bren]

I have just picked up my eldest from College.

Navigating the hellhole that is Warrington - plus speed ramps on the campus - my fuel economy dipped below 16 mpg for the first time since I bought the car.

Not good for a daily.....

[chodweaver]

I was hungover and ordered a McDonalds a while back. Its less than a mile and a half away as the crow flies but I can't be arsed being sat in traffic in Shipley so Deliveroo seems like a good option. 
I got a notification that it was on its way. 

Ordinarily, thats not unusual but there is a bit of an elevation gain between there and my house. 


You go girl. 
It ended up being delivered by a bloke in a car though. 

That's a scam so that her brother/husband/son can run multiple Deliveroo accounts (likely to take advantage of new worker benefits) and the bicycle bit is so she/he can avoid Deliveroo's pesky induction questions about car insurance being valid for delivery work. There may also be issues with the bloke who turned up in the car not being a legal immigrant, so he can't register with Deliveroo.

ETA And Deliveroo, UberEats etc. don't give a shit about any of this. Welcome to the UK - a 3rd world country

[motorpunk]

2 hours ago, chodweaver said:

That's a scam so that her brother/husband/son can run multiple Deliveroo accounts (likely to take advantage of new worker benefits) and the bicycle bit is so she/he can avoid Deliveroo's pesky induction questions about car insurance being valid for delivery work. There may also be issues with the bloke who turned up in the car not being a legal immigrant, so he can't register with Deliveroo.

ETA And Deliveroo, UberEats etc. don't give a shit about any of this. Welcome to the UK - a 3rd world country

 

Learned something there. Horrible practices.

[New POD]

5 hours ago, goosey said:

A work colleague uses his company C class to deliver takeaways for an Indian restaurant, he gets paid cash in hand and doesn’t pay for fuel or running costs so I suppose it’s all profit for him 

And is probably a sackable activity. 

What could go wrong ?  Accident? Delivering to a work colleague? Work colleague dobbing them in because they've pissed them off. HMRC finding out? 

[New POD]

3 hours ago, chodweaver said:

 

 

That's a scam so that her brother/husband/son can run multiple Deliveroo accounts (likely to take advantage of new worker benefits) and the bicycle bit is so she/he can avoid Deliveroo's pesky induction questions about car insurance being valid for delivery work. There may also be issues with the bloke who turned up in the car not being a legal immigrant, so he can't register with Deliveroo.

ETA And Deliveroo, UberEats etc. don't give a shit about any of this. Welcome to the UK - a 3rd world country

 

It's *clever because by pretending to be 3 people, they can avoid tax and national insurance, as they can keep below the level they'd start paying.  But also the employee avoids NIC costs. 

 

*clever as in crafty 

[Pieman]

27 minutes ago, motorpunk said:

Learned something there. Horrible practices.

They only do it because this joke of a country lets them get away with it.

[goosey]

39 minutes ago, New POD said:

And is probably a sackable activity. 

What could go wrong ?  Accident? Delivering to a work colleague? Work colleague dobbing them in because they've pissed them off. HMRC finding out? 

 The Manager knows and is ok with him doing it, everyone gets along 

to be fair we get away with quite a lot but at the same time sometimes we have to go above and beyond for the customer eg working late, staying away at the drop of a hat etc 

[HillmanImp]

4 hours ago, chodweaver said:

 

 

That's a scam so that her brother/husband/son can run multiple Deliveroo accounts (likely to take advantage of new worker benefits) and the bicycle bit is so she/he can avoid Deliveroo's pesky induction questions about car insurance being valid for delivery work. There may also be issues with the bloke who turned up in the car not being a legal immigrant, so he can't register with Deliveroo.

ETA And Deliveroo, UberEats etc. don't give a shit about any of this. Welcome to the UK - a 3rd world country

 

Yeah, I guessed as much. 

I have absolutely no issue with people playing the system. Okay if its organised crime and they're being exploited by criminal individuals then obviously not but if not why shouldn't people get what they can by pulling a fiddle? If they don't pull a fiddle its not criminal gangs exploiting them, its the corporations so fuck it, get what you can. 

After spending several years working at an IFA helping rich people realise their expensive dreams, normally through tax avoidance and also seeing the ways companies sat around board rooms throwing money at each other until they'd bled the company dry (looking at you SR Gent) it's quite clear that Mustafa and his 3 brothers pulling a fast one to use someone elses allowances isn't the problem in this country. 

The tax office specifically target individuals as they're easy pickings for tax fraud. The big money is obviously stolen by the big companies but they've got more resources to hide the dodgy dealings than the tax office has to investigate it. 

When my dad headed up a small team investigating Datsun UK in the 80s he and his colleagues didn't stand a chance. The only reason the crooks all got caught was because Nissan were so pissed off with them, their huge accounting team did all the work and handed it to my dad. Otherwise Octav and his cronies would've continued to get away with it. 

Britain is only a 3rd world country for most of the people living here, not the businesses trading here.