The grumpy thread

[Noel Tidybeard]

  On 28/03/2021 at 12:52, Leyland Worldmaster said:

Actually, I fancy having a fucking rant:

 

Yesterday, whilst being subjected to the cruel and unusual punishment that is Dua Fucking Lipa and shit, brief respite came in the form of a fucking Advertisement Break.

 

Thank fuck; I thought. Well no, actually; more banal shite...

 

One Advert extolled the virtues of an "Environmentally Friendly" Refrigerator.

 

So far so good.

 

What made this fucker so Penguin Friendly? A fucking Touchscreen that activates something that allows one to monitor the content (s)* of the fucker; the idea being that opening the fucking door increases Power Consumption and kills Penguins...

 

What about the Raw fucking Materials; Control Software and Fucking Screen?

 

That is likely to use more precious shite and energy than opening the cunting door, surely!

 

😡😡😡

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Karcher jetwash just being advertised- it's got a fucking app coz it's "connected"

what the actual fuck- you get your phone out next to a big water spraying monster to change its settings! 🙄😖

[Leyland Worldmaster]

  On 28/03/2021 at 14:23, Noel Tidybeard said:

Karcher jetwash just being advertised- it's got a fucking app coz it's "connected"

what the actual fuck- you get your phone out next to a big water spraying monster to change its settings! 🙄😖

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Exactly! What tee actual fucking fuck! And aren't we told that Water and Electricity don't mix? 

I suppose the cunting app needs to be updated every five fucking minutes too! 😡😡😡

[DVee8]

This is the front passenger footwell  and seat of a 14 plate Honda Civic that belongs to a workmate. I bought his last Civic from him it was also like this.

[Leyland Worldmaster]

  On 28/03/2021 at 15:53, DVee8 said:

This is the front passenger footwell  and seat of a 14 plate Honda Civic that belongs to a workmate. I bought his last Civic from him it was also like this.

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That should be condemned as a biohazard! ☣️⚠️😁😁😁

[DVee8]

  On 28/03/2021 at 15:55, Leyland Worldmaster said:

That should be condemned as a biohazard! ☣️⚠️😁😁😁

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On the back seat he keeps his oily work boots, not even in the footwell on the seat.

[Leyland Worldmaster]

  On 28/03/2021 at 16:01, DVee8 said:

On the back seat he keeps his oily work boots, not even in the footwell on the seat.

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Oh fuck! 😱 😱 😱 😂 😂 😂 

[Stanky]

My brother-in-law's Fiesta looks like that too. Unforgivable.

[Talbot]

Wow.  And I thought my car was untidy.

Actually, my car *is* untidy, that civic is just a mobile landfill.

[Heidel_Kakao]

  On 28/03/2021 at 12:36, Tetleysmooth said:

If you think that's awkward, have a butchers at where the autobox dipstick is on a Honda CRV. It's down alongside the battery, but you just can't get your hand down there to extract it. I've been thinking of try to make some sort of extension to the dipstick. Anyone got any ideas?

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Cable ties to make an extended loop handle for extraction and a stick to push it back in with.  Other bodges are available haha.

[Heidel_Kakao]

  On 28/03/2021 at 14:23, Noel Tidybeard said:

Karcher jetwash just being advertised- it's got a fucking app coz it's "connected"

what the actual fuck- you get your phone out next to a big water spraying monster to change its settings! 🙄😖

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Then one day they discontinue support for the app and it's then useless, assuming it doesn't have manual controls too.

"Designed to adapt instantly to any cleaning task, this model comes equipped with Smart Control Technology, as well as being able to help always on hand from useful hints and tips. The Smart Control App also provide you with peace of mind to know your machine is ready for you based on what you are cleaning, using bluetooth connection. What's more is you can easily keep up with machine maintenence as the app provides tips on everything you need to know to take care of your machine."

I am not a luddite but that's just wanky bollocks.

[beko1987]

  On 28/03/2021 at 14:26, Leyland Worldmaster said:

Exactly! What tee actual fucking fuck! And aren't we told that Water and Electricity don't mix? 

I suppose the cunting app needs to be updated every five fucking minutes too! 😡😡😡

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Its a fucking shit idea! I like taking mega pictures of me cleaning my car cos I'm a sad twat like that and it's a pain in the arse with wet hands. So much so I don't wash the car so I don't have to do it... 

Also if its anything like my smart hairdryer it'll need the washer on and in use to connect to the app, bet that's a bundle of fun when you nudge the wrong setting and 3psi changes into 1300psi in your non dominant hand when your not paying attention

[Talbot]

I'm tending to avoid any equipment that has to be connected or online to be able to work these days.  You just know that in 10 years time (or maybe less) it simply will not work.

It's very noticeable watching videos from people like Techmoan that he can find 20/30/40 year old (and sometimes older) technology that still works, needing nothing more than some power.  I'll be willing to bet good money that in another 40 years time, all of today's technology will be completely inoperable due to software issues, whereas the now 80 year old kit from the 1970s/1980s will still work.

Vinyl records are turning out to be somewhat more reliable as a music storage system than MP3s, and even CDs (well, certainly CDRs anyway).  Says a lot.

[Leyland Worldmaster]

  On 28/03/2021 at 19:16, Talbot said:

I'm tending to avoid any equipment that has to be connected or online to be able to work these days.  You just know that in 10 years time (or maybe less) it simply will not work.

It's very noticeable watching videos from people like Techmoan that he can find 20/30/40 year old (and sometimes older) technology that still works, needing nothing more than some power.  I'll be willing to bet good money that in another 40 years time, all of today's technology will be completely inoperable due to software issues, whereas the now 80 year old kit from the 1970s/1980s will still work.

Vinyl records are turning out to be somewhat more reliable as a music storage system than MP3s, and even CDs (well, certainly CDRs anyway).  Says a lot.

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Exactly. Prior to Covid-19, I held Music Evenings. Guests turned up with many different formats. 

We always finished up listening to vinyl records. It was generally agreed that they sound better. 

My oldest LP is a Bruch Violin Concerto No. 1 by the LSO. This dates from 1959. 

*Edit the oldest is Holst The Planets pressed 1954*

Will our Electronic Storage Devices last as well as that? 

Oh, and my Amplifier will still function after an EMP event. Technology which is nearly 120 old! ⚙️🧓😎👌

[MikeR]

I leave my milk/beer on the back door step so polar bears dont die .....

[Parky]

You can get smart bins.  The idea is they monitor what you throw away so you can adjust buying habits and reduce food consumption.  Sensible.  Problem is I just know mine would say “There’s a fuck ton of crisp packets and tea bags in here you fat fucker, go and buy some frigging lettuce”

Anyway, if manufacturers were that keen on us knowing what’s in the fridge, they’d make the doors out of glass.  It would certainly encourage me to tidy it up in there as there’s an old onion at the back of mine which has grown sentient and is complaining about Joe Dolce beating Ultravox to number one

[GrumpiusMaximus]

I know a little (little) about IT Security, which I have to for my job.  I'm not an expert by any means though.

Based on the little I know, I would never buy a 'smart' IoT device over a non-smart version unless I had no other option.  I do not trust the manufacturers to write software that is secure and private (even if we're assuming good faith, which is by no means a given) and I don't care how benign the device is because anything with a half-reasonable processor can be used as part of a botnet.

Even if we look at voting machines, some of the IT practises the companies have used are horrifying and you would assume they'd bother to make those secure.  Nope.  Leaving the USB port enabled so people can plug in arbitrary devices and run code, leaving the admin password as 0000, not auditing the software for bugs properly, etc.  And this is in voting machines - which is why I'm glad we don't use them over here.

If something that important is implemeted so badly, goodness knows what your smart coffee machine's code is like...

[bobdisk]

Our dustbins have (mine had,think what you will!) some device that is supposed to be read by the dustcart for some reason. 

[GrumpiusMaximus]

  On 29/03/2021 at 05:58, bobdisk said:

Our dustbins have (mine had,think what you will!) some device that is supposed to be read by the dustcart for some reason. 

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I'm going to guess (and it is a guess) that it's just an RFID tag, which isn't online at all and only works very close by.  This isn't actually a terrible idea as once your bin has been picked up, it'll be put on a database that it has been and if a collection is missed then it's really easy to look through the records and corroborate.  Also means they can keep accurate figures for scaling their services and looking at the most efficient way of picking up the bins.  From a company standpoint, it makes sense.  RFID tags aren't 'smart', they're basically just automatic labels that get read by a scanner.  Same could be done with a QR code - but RFID is more reliable than optical scanning.

[BorniteIdentity]

  On 28/03/2021 at 18:26, Heidel_Kakao said:

Then one day they discontinue support for the app and it's then useless, assuming it doesn't have manual controls too.

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We're having to install new Economy 7 storage heaters at our little rental house.  It has (very dead) Oil Fired Central Heating at the moment but there's no nice way of replacing it.  The tank would end up being in the middle of the lawn (it needs replacing and regs have changed) the boiler in the middle of the patio and it'd be a twat all round.  Simpler to put in new LOT20 approved storage heaters.

Anyway, Dimplex.  For an extra £5 you can have smart controlled ones with an app and all that jazz.  But again - what happens when we're on iOS version 271.a.772.hg?  It won't fucking work.  So I'm desperately trying to find some NOS ones with the controls all on the panel so that, in twenty years, you can still actually work them.

Cynical Dan the Cynical Man thinks half of it is built in obsolescence, and half of it is being able to use the word "smart" and get extra eco/woke/green points.

 

[Supernaut]

  On 29/03/2021 at 05:37, GrumpiusMaximus said:

I know a little (little) about IT Security, which I have to for my job.  I'm not an expert by any means though.

Based on the little I know, I would never buy a 'smart' IoT device

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Ta-da!

Welcome to the IT technician club, here's your card.

I think a huge majority of people who have worked in IT have that opinion. IoT things are just fucking stupid, and a massive security risk.

The only things I have connected to the network are things that need to. I.e. my computers and my phone. Everything else is 'dumb' technology and can stay that way. It's part of the reason I like 1990s cars, too. They are their own entity, they don't need a constant 4G connection to update their dashboard firmware. They have analogue, physical dials that just fucking work. I hired a Citroen C5 Aircross a few months ago and holy fucking shit! It was horrendous! The entire dashboard was a screen that needed a few moments to boot up like a PC every time you wanted to drive it. Every command I inputted seemed to have a certain amount of latency to it as all the screens and processors decided what to do... Ugh. No. Do not want.

[GrumpiusMaximus]

  On 29/03/2021 at 09:09, Supernaut said:

Ta-da!

Welcome to the IT technician club, here's your card.

I think a huge majority of people who have worked in IT have that opinion. IoT things are just fucking stupid, and a massive security risk.

The only things I have connected to the network are things that need to. I.e. my computers and my phone. Everything else is 'dumb' technology and can stay that way. It's part of the reason I like 1990s cars, too. They are their own entity, they don't need a constant 4G connection to update their dashboard firmware. They have analogue, physical dials that just fucking work. I hired a Citroen C5 Aircross a few months ago and holy fucking shit! It was horrendous! The entire dashboard was a screen that needed a few moments to boot up like a PC every time you wanted to drive it. Every command I inputted seemed to have a certain amount of latency to it as all the screens and processors decided what to do... Ugh. No. Do not want.

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Mandatory XKCD:

https://xkcd.com/2030/

[Remspoor]

  On 27/03/2021 at 14:11, Zelandeth said:

What, like the DPD van last week?  The one which stopped outside our house for about 5 minutes (I was outside working on the cars at the time) then disappeared without the driver getting out the van.  Ten minutes later I got the "Sorry, nobody was in so we were unable to deliver your parcel..." text.

Not a thing.  Just "We regret to inform you we are unable to deliver your order at this time.  A full refund has been given."  At least Tesco had the decency to apologise!

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Here in Spain we have MRW, which is the same group of companies as DPD. Here too they are just as useless.

Order last month could not be delivered due to incorrect address.  Argument with the office that it was correct. Then blamed it on new delivery bod.

Then this month, no delivery because "works" were blocking the road. Again phone call to the office saying this was not true . The building works are not affecting any access.

Next day got a email at 18:30 that the address was incorrect. Yep the second time. Once again on the phoned to the office. a woman with the same name as the other calls took no responsibility of the other calls.  Delivery was eventually mad late in the evening.

We have ah many deliveries to the front door. DHL, Local companies psot office all using the same address. But this one is just a pile of what's it. Trouble is ordering from this one company means we cannot have a choice of courier. Still we hope that it we don't need anything from them for months now. Google reviews for the local office are not great, with this woman's name being mentioned many times as not being educated or will trained in customer relations.

[LightBulbFun]

  On 29/03/2021 at 05:37, GrumpiusMaximus said:

I know a little (little) about IT Security, which I have to for my job.  I'm not an expert by any means though.

Based on the little I know, I would never buy a 'smart' IoT device over a non-smart version unless I had no other option.  I do not trust the manufacturers to write software that is secure and private (even if we're assuming good faith, which is by no means a given) and I don't care how benign the device is because anything with a half-reasonable processor can be used as part of a botnet.

Even if we look at voting machines, some of the IT practises the companies have used are horrifying and you would assume they'd bother to make those secure.  Nope.  Leaving the USB port enabled so people can plug in arbitrary devices and run code, leaving the admin password as 0000, not auditing the software for bugs properly, etc.  And this is in voting machines - which is why I'm glad we don't use them over here.

If something that important is implemeted so badly, goodness knows what your smart coffee machine's code is like...

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  On 29/03/2021 at 09:09, Supernaut said:

Ta-da!

Welcome to the IT technician club, here's your card.

I think a huge majority of people who have worked in IT have that opinion. IoT things are just fucking stupid, and a massive security risk.

The only things I have connected to the network are things that need to. I.e. my computers and my phone. Everything else is 'dumb' technology and can stay that way. It's part of the reason I like 1990s cars, too. They are their own entity, they don't need a constant 4G connection to update their dashboard firmware. They have analogue, physical dials that just fucking work. I hired a Citroen C5 Aircross a few months ago and holy fucking shit! It was horrendous! The entire dashboard was a screen that needed a few moments to boot up like a PC every time you wanted to drive it. Every command I inputted seemed to have a certain amount of latency to it as all the screens and processors decided what to do... Ugh. No. Do not want.

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I dont work in IT (although I am the houses IT tech support if that counts) so I guess I am just a tech enthusiast but I fully fall into the 2nd box on the meme, because as you say, once you become aware of just what goes into Internet of shit devices and other such smart crap, its bloody terrifying LOL

 

[Supernaut]

  On 29/03/2021 at 12:53, LightBulbFun said:

 

 

I dont work in IT (although I am the houses IT tech support if that counts) so I guess I am just a tech enthusiast but I fully fall into the 2nd box on the meme, because as you say, once you become aware of just what goes into Internet of shit devices and other such smart crap, its bloody terrifying LOL

 

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I don't own a printer. They're devil-spawn.

[Tadhg Tiogar]

  On 29/03/2021 at 13:16, Supernaut said:

I don't own a printer. They're devil-spawn.

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Not even a typewriter?

[myglaren]

I have two dead printers here.  One a laser printer last used to print some arty stuff for my grandson.   I have to email everything to HP in America (and the printer thinks it is in the USA too) who email it back to the printer.

It works although rather silly.

While printing arty stuff, each item has to be approved on the touchscreen - there is an option to feed photo paper, envelopes etc in a second slot, or take paper from the tray.

If the 'button' is pressed too long it defaults to cancel

It did however come up with updates during the printing.  Grandson pushed 'decline' while it was doing it.  Now it just rattles and whirrs and keeps saying to turn it off and on again - which does precisely nothing.

£160 down the drain, hardly used.

Found that the car would reset one of the trip meters when the tank was filled.  Just spent ages trying to set that with no success at all, looks as though that option is not on mine.

[GrumpiusMaximus]

  On 29/03/2021 at 13:16, Supernaut said:

I don't own a printer. They're devil-spawn.

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That’s true.  They should all be burned with holy fire and then the magick incantations spoken to rid the area of their curse.

[richardmorris]

Three times the drink drive limit, and the poor innocent tree jumped out in front of them.

[Inspector Morose]

Waiting for ‘that’ phone call from the hospital about brother in law. 

He lives downstairs in the house after having a stroke a number of years ago. Early last week on a mission to the kitchen, I found him collapsed and barely  breathing  with foamy blood coming from his mouth. Rushed to hospital and in ICU on a ventilator ever since.

The dynamics of our family is, shall we say, strained - he used to call the police on us every time he never got his own way is amongst the many other ‘fun’ things but still, he is a member of the family and a close one at that.

The next few days/weeks are not going to be good.

[chaseracer]

Here if needed, old mate.