The grumpy thread

[DeeJay]

His hand?

[Tamworthbay]

Buble, a plastic Almond, Ancient Junior and George Ezra who after a promising start is just turning out shit chart music. Dismal.

I presume George’s promising start was the bit before the talentless shit started singing?

[sierraman]

I feel like someone’s dropped an axe on my head.

[anonymous user]

I feel like someone’s dropped an axe on my head.

Have you checked in the mirror?

[GrumpiusMaximus]

FFS.  I have some kind of 'ill'.  My tonsils feel like they are the size of grapefruits.

 

Happy fucking New Year.

[Remspoor]

Never tell a sociopath that he's a...sociopath. I think I heard that from....somewhere or other.

Killing Eve

[Shirley Knott]

Front passenger door on the Golf is now completely deadlocked and can't be coaxed open from inside or out, even the repeated banging of the lock whilst working the central locking trick has failed.

 

I should have replaced the module whilst the fault was intermittent, now it looks like my future involves trying to remove the doorcard with the door shut, FML.

[Rocket88]

Buble..a plastic Sinatra, without the range, depth or charisma............

[Cavcraft]

Jane McDonald is the female Steve Wright. Chats pure shit, talks over her guests and has far too much to say, none of it worth listening to.

 

Whilst we're on annoying people on the telly let's have Alison Hammond. Total and utter waste of air time, no surprise whatsoever to find out she was on Big Brother.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

I presume George’s promising start was the bit before the talentless shit started singing?

Did you see Marc Almond though? He looks like a waxworks Action Man.

[The Reverend Bluejeans]

I feel like someone’s dropped an axe on my head.

I feel ok, had 4 pints of 6 months out of date bitter and a pizza, walked 3 miles this morning to collect Rolf.

[dozeydustman]

I feel ok, had 4 pints of 6 months out of date bitter and a pizza, walked 3 miles this morning to collect Rolf.

 

You sir are living the dream

[cobblers]

My mums moving out this weekend, so I'm off to clear my stuff out of the garage.

 

Been let down on a load of storage places, so the only place I've got to put any of it is in the attic at home, which should be a lot of fun - roll cab + top box full of tools, compressor, big daddy MIG welder, various exhausts, a set of 20" wheels off my van etc etc

[outlaw118]

STOP TALKING EVERYONE BAD SHIT HAS HAPPENED

 

Tescos have "Improved" their own brand beef ravioli.

 

The sauce is now too thin, too salty and too much basil. The ravioli itself seems to be less nice too.

Sainsbury's stuff has got lumps of tomato and onion in the sauce, and local Asda don't sell their own.

Heinz it'll have to be then, more expensive, and not as good as original recipe tescos.

 

Cunts. Why can't they leave things alone?

 

 

As you were.

[GrumpiusMaximus]

Late and valid entry for the 2018 cunt count there.  Superb work.

[myglaren]

^ try Lidl's.  Gets a lot of thumbs up various places.  Or the Aldi 'specially selected'.

Not a personal recommendation as I don't do processed food.

[Kiltox]

Lidl ravioli ftw

[omegod]

Fucks sake, got a sore throat on 23rd and now everything is fucking infected, throat, sinus and chest,antibiotics are doing fuck all. it's been a shit festive period, no pub, no metal detecting and no chance of working on the copart focus 

 

Can't see me making it to work this week either so that will start stressing me out too 

 

BTW them little Foccacia pizza things Lidl do are bloody marvelous 

[dozeydustman]

omegod Dr Dustman prescribes plenty of rest and home made hot lemon flu drink consisting of a dash of lemon juice, 1 tsp honey & 1 shot of whisky in a mug of boiling water. Initially is stings like hell but soon enough the throat is soothed and it acts as an expectorant to clear the chest and throat of catarrh & snots.

[sierraman]

I feel ok, had 4 pints of 6 months out of date bitter and a pizza, walked 3 miles this morning to collect Rolf.

Whose Rolf when he’s at home?

[Guest Hooli]

Whose Rolf when he’s at home?

 

Can you tell who he is yet?

[Tamworthbay]

Did you see Marc Almond though? He looks like a waxworks Action Man.

He does look odd now, not sure if it’s too much make up or bad plastic surgery. Still one hell of a voice though even if not my sort of music.

[clayts450]

214 FTP in local pez station after a little zoomzoom round some country lanes to open the taps. Crankshaft position sensor it is then, this was the final symptom I needed to be sure - access to replace is a mare on a single-point injection (sits on top of the flywheel) as need quadruple jointed elbows and smoll hands to get to its location.

 

Managed with the help of a swarthy motorist to push it off the pump bay and round the corner, and after a few mins cool down fired right up again.

 

Ungrateful bastard. The car, not the swarthy motorist

[sierraman]

Can you tell who he is yet?

Probably a drawing of his cock if it’s Rolf Harris.

[Minimad5]

Tipped phone over (was on its little stand, as I was using it as a light) ... inevitably it smashes the glass camera cover to pieces.

 

Dropped it off much higher things (accidently) and it's just shrugged them off.

Aah well, another thing to splash money on.

[Zelandeth]

Damnit.

 

Having to abandon a job half finished because you can't find a tool.

 

In this case replacing the damaged n/s roof gutter on the Invacar, because the dispenser thingie for the sealant has gone walkies.

 

At least I discovered this before cracking open the tiger seal rather than after I guess.

[xtriple]

Was dashing around like a loon (well as 'dashing' as an ancient cripple who can't breathe is capable of) getting cars sorted out and away from the garage and then friends wanted to meet me at the park. I dashed (previous comment still applies!) home, got the dogs, forgetting to put Chester on his lead, after all, surely he can go 5 feet from the gate to the car without it just once?

 

No, the fat sod really can't, straight over the road to piss on Olivers gate post (Oliver is Chesters arch enemy - a Dalmation of all things), shout like a mad man at him, he totally ignores me, the triumphant little bastard so intent on his peeing, by the time I get him back to the car, Phoebe has pooped right by the front door of the car and I trod in it!

 

Clean that up, get her in the car, find Chester again (yes, he'd buggered off again!) and get him in the car, decide for some obscure reason, to put the roof down and that won't loc into place and is making alarming, er, alarm noises. Sort that out, ( a bit of the seat cover, there to protect the back seats from the dogs had got into the mechanism) and finally go to the park. Meet up, have a chat, got a snog from random woman and realise my watch is missing.

 

Only find it and the screw that had fallen out (about half an inch long and the thickness of my cock after being out in the cold for an hour or two) so that's a jolly good start and one I am most pleased with

[myglaren]

Smashed one of my few remaining Iitala glasses.  Kept it away from my son in case he broke it (he's smashes loads of glasses) then dropped a knife on it. 

They were £30 each in 1974

 

 

Did find a replacement insert for one of my broken Russian tea glasses, only £30 a pair (insert that is).

+ postage, import duty, handling charge and VAT, of course  

 

[mercrocker]

Probably a drawing of his cock if it’s Rolf Harris.

 

I thought that was Partridge....

[mercrocker]

STOP TALKING EVERYONE BAD SHIT HAS HAPPENED

 

Tescos have "Improved" their own brand beef ravioli.

 

The sauce is now too thin, too salty and too much basil. The ravioli itself seems to be less nice too.

Sainsbury's stuff has got lumps of tomato and onion in the sauce, and local Asda don't sell their own.

Heinz it'll have to be then, more expensive, and not as good as original recipe tescos.

 

Cunts. Why can't they leave things alone?

 

 

As you were.

 

 

See......Every New Year they fuck something else up.   I have had 60 New Years now which is why the world is shit and I am fucking grumpy.