The grumpy thread

[danthecapriman]

Sodding rats are appearing in the garden again.

They keep coming in from the woods over the back, we get rid of them and all good for a few months before they start appearing again.

 

I’ve had one with the air rifle already. I’ve set a bait trap down the garden and rat poison behind the shed (which is being eaten...). Horrible dirty little bastards they are!

[Talbot]

However, the benefits* of trawling through adverts like this are that you may get a bargain.

 

like this.. http://autoshite.com/topic/29609-new-bling-from-the-bay-of-snot/

[drum]

today the fridge freezer went on a short trip  so a years worth of shite could be cleared out and the wall painted ..........  you wont see stuff like this anywhere else !

 

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I have MkeR! I made a trolley using a skip find skateboard too. Only had half the wheels yours has though.

[Talbot]

Sodding rats are appearing in the garden again.

They keep coming in from the woods over the back, we get rid of them and all good for a few months before they start appearing again.

 

I’ve had one with the air rifle already. I’ve set a bait trap down the garden and rat poison behind the shed (which is being eaten...). Horrible dirty little bastards they are!

A friend has issues with rats as they live in the countryside and keep hens. Fix to get them good and proper:

 

Get a knackered old 2/stroke strimmer/chainsaw engine and mount it to a bit of plywood. Put a length of flexible hose on the exhaust (rubber will do). Put a rather-too-strong mix of fuel in, just enough to run for about 20 mins.

 

Find a rat hole. Put the engine down near it and start it. The vibrations from the board on the ground make all the rats run to the lowest point to get away from it, but they *don't* run out. Now shove the smoking-like-a-bastard exhaust down the rat hole and stamp it in to seal it up. Watch carefully, and you'll see the exhaust coming out of another hole somewhere. Go and stamp that one closed too. Keep doing this until the exhaust is evenly spread over their entire run area.

 

Drink tea while the engine runs out of fuel.

 

Once finished, either just leave the now gassed-and-dead rats in their underground graves, or dig out their tunnels and dig them out. We dug up over 20 rats one afternoon using this method, and they seem to take several years before coming back, as you kill the colony off dead.

[Parky]

A friend has issues with rats as they live in the countryside and keep hens. Fix to get them good and proper:Get a knackered old 2/stroke strimmer/chainsaw engine and mount it to a bit of plywood. Put a length of flexible hose on the exhaust (rubber will do). Put a rather-too-strong mix of fuel in, just enough to run for about 20 mins.Find a rat hole. Put the engine down near it and start it. The vibrations from the board on the ground make all the rats run to the lowest point to get away from it, but they *don't* run out. Now shove the smoking-like-a-bastard exhaust down the rat hole and stamp it in to seal it up. Watch carefully, and you'll see the exhaust coming out of another hole somewhere. Go and stamp that one closed too. Keep doing this until the exhaust is evenly spread over their entire run area.Drink tea while the engine runs out of fuel.Once finished, either just leave the now gassed-and-dead rats in their underground graves, or dig out their tunnels and dig them out. We dug up over 20 rats one afternoon using this method, and they seem to take several years before coming back, as you kill the colony off dead.

Or buy a cat?

[dave21478]

Yeah, no, its alright man, just feel free to inexplicably slow down to 30kph on a twisty bit of road where I cant pass you...its ok, Ill just potter along behind you while you point out the countryside to your wife.

A straight clear bit of road ahead where I can overtake, but you go right ahead and floor it to try to prevent me - thats fine.

Oh look, Im passing you anyway because my car is a lot faster than yours...yeah man, you go right ahead and swerve over to block me.

 

Totally fucking unprovoked. I literally just dont fucking understand, although I believe the MGF somehow brings out the worst in other motorists....and no, I dont drive it like a dick.

If I started swinging an axe around in the supermarket, actions would be taken, but this wanker literally tries to run me off the road and thats apparently just normal?

"internet hardman makes bold claims" time, but seriously, if I had been in the pickup (well, I probablywouldnt have had the oomph to pass him but whatevz) I would have just held straight and Pitt Maneuvered the cunt backwards into the ditch. I was in the hairdresser car though which would have probably folded up against his Duster. I was still tempted to do it anyway as it would have undoubtedly been his fault once my dashcam footage showed what he did....

 

Aye but checking the video at home and it seems the fucking dashcam records when the fuck it feels like it, seems to be recording about a third of the time in random bursts throughout a journey, so thats more electronics for the landfill and more money down the fucking shitter.

 

It just never ends.

[MikeR]

I have MkeR! I made a trolley using a skip find skateboard too. Only had half the wheels yours has though.

 

its also very handy for defrosting the freezer , as the bottom of the freezer is well off the floor for putting a baking tray under , it also makes the freezer itself a bit higher for routing in the drawers and the fridge is at eye level  .... sort of win win all round

[dave21478]

A friend has issues with rats as they live in the countryside and keep hens. Fix to get them good and proper:

 

Get a knackered old 2/stroke strimmer/chainsaw engine and mount it to a bit of plywood. Put a length of flexible hose on the exhaust (rubber will do). Put a rather-too-strong mix of fuel in, just enough to run for about 20 mins.

 

Find a rat hole. Put the engine down near it and start it. The vibrations from the board on the ground make all the rats run to the lowest point to get away from it, but they *don't* run out. Now shove the smoking-like-a-bastard exhaust down the rat hole and stamp it in to seal it up. Watch carefully, and you'll see the exhaust coming out of another hole somewhere. Go and stamp that one closed too. Keep doing this until the exhaust is evenly spread over their entire run area.

 

Drink tea while the engine runs out of fuel.

 

Once finished, either just leave the now gassed-and-dead rats in their underground graves, or dig out their tunnels and dig them out. We dug up over 20 rats one afternoon using this method, and they seem to take several years before coming back, as you kill the colony off dead.

 

 

Or buy a cat?

 

Or buy a de-cat. I use this technique against moles using the car exhaust. Old car running on choke so nice and rich or a modern with a de-cat so nice and toxic.

[SierraMikeHotel]

However, the benefits* of trawling through adverts like this are that you may get a bargain.

 

like this.. http://autoshite.com/topic/29609-new-bling-from-the-bay-of-snot/

 

"Despite the less-than-four-feet between the tow car and the towed car, some utter cunt in an Audi still tried to force his way in between the two cars.  I could barely see what was going on, but I hope he shit his pants when he looked over and saw no driver in the Berlingo!"

 

I'm not grumpy any more.  That's hilarious.

[Parky]

The number of cars today on the road still covered in snow was incredible. Sure the windscreens were cleared, but not the side windows (or even the rear windows in some cases! Don't these people have demisters?)

 

Ok I accept they may not want to see what's behind or beside them, that's fine. But when massive lumps of snow are breaking off, or the snow is flailing off in a fine cloud behind them it ruins everyone else's visibility in conditions that are already challenging. Dangerous and inconsiderate.

 

I have to take Parkette to college again tomorrow as the train company cancelled loads of services before the snow even arrived. I understand that when the Met office are saying that the four horseman of the apocalypse are en route, with the asteroids from Armageddon and Deep Impact in tow that steps need to be taken - but how about seeing how bad things are first?

 

Of course it has nothing to do with their compensation arrangements does it? A bit of snow will mean the train runs a little more slowly and thus will arrive a few minutes late, triggering an automatic delay compensation system. By not running the train, it can't be late - ergo no compensation payable!

[DodgeRover]

Sodding rats are appearing in the garden again.

They keep coming in from the woods over the back, we get rid of them and all good for a few months before they start appearing again.

 

I’ve had one with the air rifle already. I’ve set a bait trap down the garden and rat poison behind the shed (which is being eaten...). Horrible dirty little bastards they are!

240v arranged carefully so they squeeze between the live and earth on their run, you'll need an old style fuse box.

Shooting them works but is slow, traps are good but need resetting regularly to clear them out, if you got one there will be 20 you didn't.

[twosmoke300]

Yeah, no, its alright man, just feel free to inexplicably slow down to 30kph on a twisty bit of road where I cant pass you...its ok, Ill just potter along behind you while you point out the countryside to your wife.

A straight clear bit of road ahead where I can overtake, but you go right ahead and floor it to try to prevent me - thats fine.

Oh look, Im passing you anyway because my car is a lot faster than yours...yeah man, you go right ahead and swerve over to block me.

 

Totally fucking unprovoked. I literally just dont fucking understand, although I believe the MGF somehow brings out the worst in other motorists....and no, I dont drive it like a dick.

If I started swinging an axe around in the supermarket, actions would be taken, but this wanker literally tries to run me off the road and thats apparently just normal?

"internet hardman makes bold claims" time, but seriously, if I had been in the pickup (well, I probablywouldnt have had the oomph to pass him but whatevz) I would have just held straight and Pitt Maneuvered the cunt backwards into the ditch. I was in the hairdresser car though which would have probably folded up against his Duster. I was still tempted to do it anyway as it would have undoubtedly been his fault once my dashcam footage showed what he did....

 

Aye but checking the video at home and it seems the fucking dashcam records when the fuck it feels like it, seems to be recording about a third of the time in random bursts throughout a journey, so thats more electronics for the landfill and more money down the fucking shitter.

 

It just never ends.

And breathe - calm down it was only a pot noodle !

[Talbot]

Or buy a cat?

Friend with the rat issue has three cats. All farm ones. They will catch mice and voles and the like, but they seem to not like to take on rats.

 

Where I used to live one of the cats there was a vicious bastard and killed about 15 rats over the course of a week, but that is not that common.

 

The cat I had at the time was frigging useless in that respect.

[MikeR]

cats can be useless , our present cat  just waits for food , makes stupid noises and shits in our garden ,

the fact it has acres of housing estate to explore does not enter its feeble mind ,

the last cat was feral/antisocial but at least it killed anything it saw , bird , mouse , rat , cat , it took no prisoners ...

[GrumpiusMaximus]

Friend with the rat issue has three cats. All farm ones. They will catch mice and voles and the like, but they seem to not like to take on rats.

 

Where I used to live one of the cats there was a vicious bastard and killed about 15 rats over the course of a week, but that is not that common.

 

The cat I had at the time was frigging useless in that respect.

Apparently my partner's parent's cat used to bring back stoats.  Killed a whole family of them once.  Some of them are vicious, vicious murderers!

[RoadworkUK]

When driving slow in traffic,

light smoke or steam comes from the engine

but goes when you speed up again

also now and then but not all the time 

a smell come through the heating vents like burning oil

 

 

I genuinely thought that was a poem

[Parky]

That's Brian Bilstons "Blocked Breather" from his 1994 compilation "Cavalier Attitude", a book dedicated to his 1987 Cavalier LX.

 

Also includes the classics "Quick Clutch Change"' "Rattly Cam" and "No I'm not C.I.D"

[GrumpiusMaximus]

That's Brian Bilstons "Blocked Breather" from his 1994 compilation "Cavalier Attitude", a book dedicated to his 1987 Cavalier LX.

 

Also includes the classics "Quick Clutch Change"' "Rattly Cam" and "No I'm not C.I.D"

50% extra free with 'Beige is Not the Only Colour' and 'Panel Gap, Watford Gap'.

[Parky]

Autoshite Poetry thread could get the creative juices going!

[danthecapriman]

Friend with the rat issue has three cats. All farm ones. They will catch mice and voles and the like, but they seem to not like to take on rats.Where I used to live one of the cats there was a vicious bastard and killed about 15 rats over the course of a week, but that is not that common.The cat I had at the time was frigging useless in that respect.

Rats are vicious little things, one of the neighbors dogs cornered a rat recently in their garden and the rat actually had a go at the dog ripping open his eye brow. Very close to losing his eye. They carry nasty disease too so you can get the wound infected quite easily from them.

My dad actually ‘got’ a rat a while back in the compost bin, he cornered it and hit it with a shovel! The rat was most certainly not in a good survivable state but I guess adrenaline and pure rage kept it going for a while as it was having a right go at the shovel!!

[Mally]

Our aa is due for renewal, gone up a tenner a month... Time to move to RAC for a year I think!

 

My sons AA went up, rang them and told them he was going to Green flag, guaranteed 30% or 50% off your AA quote, dependent on cover.

The AA then reduced their price to below last years price, and fixed for the next two years.

[MarvinsMom]

Or buy a cat?

a jack russel or a ferret would be more suitable for tackling a dirty rat.

 

it takes a vicious little bastard to get another vicious little bastard!

[Louise2cv]

Our flats had them (empty basement, dirty flat above that, then us). I kept cursing the flatmate for over filling the kitchen bin, in the cupboard under the sink, as the bin liners kept being ripped. Then one day I opened the cupboard without looking, put my hand in and felt something scratchy grab my hand. Pull my hand out and there was a rat, just sat there, clinging to the back of my hand. We stared at each other for what felt like ages, then it flew off, jumping the length of the kitchen.

 

A couple of days later I opened the cupboard and another jumped out of the bin. This time it landed on the floor and I was quick enough to stamp on it! The little bugger wasn't giving up without a fight; I could feel it wriggling through the sole of my shoe,trying to get away. Panic ensued and I can't actually remember what the outcome of this situation was. You'd think the stamp and weight of a 9st human pressing down on a small animal would finish it off, but this guy held in there!

[dollywobbler]

We had a rat a few years back, when we were between cats. Had to get a trap for it in the end, which is like a giant mouse trap. I can confirm that you really don't want to get your hand caught in the bloody thing. I escaped with a bruised knuckle due to my superb reactions...

 

It got the rat, though it seemed to be a glancing blow. Or it died of fright. It did make one heck of a noise.

[plasticvandan]

I'm on the verge of doing something silly,wouldn't normally bother writing anything but I don't really have "friends" so no one to talk to.Due to being on low income,and a wife who can't control her spending,I haven't technically earnt anything for 2-3 years.haven't had a car for 3 years as it cost £166 a month to run and I couldn't afford it.now getting to the point where I can't run a 250cc motorbike either.I'm stuck renting,both my mother and grandfather have died in the last few years,I was cut out of my mums will and everything including house left to my (now estranged) sister.I'm stuck in a job working 40 hours for around £8 an hour,but after what I have to pay into joint account and my travel costs I'm left with £50 a month,assuming another £300 isn't lost because my wifes bipolar has kicked in asnd shes bought a loasd of shit on amazon. I have zero hope of owning a car,owning a house or any form of career or financial progression,and now as I'm nearing 30 I'm wondering just what the fucking point is,do I really want to continue on this downward spiral while looking around at the rich getting richer. Didn't really want tyo write anything as I find it such a wet female style cry for attention but at least there would be some record of it.I've only met a couple of people on Here who were all lovely but had to question my current mind process when reading about Hendrys story I was just interested to know how he did it.

[New POD]

Our aa is due for renewal, gone up a tenner a month... Time to move to RAC for a year I think!

 

We shall swap. How much can I get 4 cars and 3 adults in recovery mode, with hire car follow on ?

[beko1987]

My sons AA went up, rang them and told them he was going to Green flag, guaranteed 30% or 50% off your AA quote, dependent on cover.

The AA then reduced their price to below last years price, and fixed for the next two years.

Buggar, wish I'd read this before phoning them and getting the price to only £1 more than last year...

 

Hey ho, it's a small price to pay for peace of mind during laguna 2 ownership. Value the Aa payment more than the actual insurance payment usually... Will have another look next year

[richardmorris]

Sodding rats are appearing in the garden again.

They keep coming in from the woods over the back, we get rid of them and all good for a few months before they start appearing again.

I’ve had one with the air rifle already. I’ve set a bait trap down the garden and rat poison behind the shed (which is being eaten...). Horrible dirty little bastards they are!

I’ve had the game keeper outside recently with the rifle. Rats and pigeons- be careful what you buy in the Windsor farm shop!

[strangeangel]

Didn't really want tyo write anything as I find it such a wet female style cry for attention

 

There's nothing to be ashamed of in talking about your problems and worries, you made the right choice.

[Jim Bell]

My mate had mice.  The cat just stared at them like they were a cartoon. I had a few tins of pale ale and decided to stand stock still in the middle of the kitchen and bray anything that scuttled past with the flat end of a frying pan.

 

I stood there with the pan aloft for about ten mins, then had to go for a piss.

 

When I came back after a textbook piss, I saw a mouse dart under the bin bag. I got my mate to lift the bin bag and I raised the pan ready to cave its head in.  I roared with gutteral animal rage as the bag was lifted.

 

I swear to god the mouse flipped over on to its back, went rigid and died stone dead of fright. 

While we were discussing how well the whole incident had went, another mouse (probably the dead ones wife or husband) scuttled out and inspected the rigid murine corpse and fucked straight off double quick.  Never saw another mouse in that flat. Though he did move out about a fortnight later.