The grumpy thread

[Cheggers]

He's still bloody asking about the smell!

Tell him it smells of unicorn's fanny batter, that should sort him out.

[MarvinsMom]

Tell him it smells of unicorn's fanny batter, that should sort him out.

 

or tell him it smells like his mam, after you got out of her bed......

[DVee8]

GUY FAWKES WAS LAST NIGHT SO STOP BLOWING SHIT UP YOU FUCKING RETARDS

Still going off tonight.

[Cavcraft]

Jesus wept, just posted a message saying 'provisionally sold' and guess what one reply was?

 

 

'Did it smells bad'

 

 

​I'll just block this nut job to save any future grief I think.

[Richard]

I'm going to go on Gumtree now and ask every single seller that question.

[Dirty Rooster]

my herpes

Luckily my Herpes is delivered by my friend Martin or his wife Emma in their electric-blue Suzuki Vitara and they know to come right in the front door ... or the weird old bloke John who I think has Parkinson's but Martin says he's just a lunchtime alky.

All good!

= wrong thread. 

I'll get me coat....

[richardmorris]

I've only had one package delivered by herpes - 20 vintage folio society books. I was prepared to drive to Kent to get them but the Hermes charge was about £11 and to be fair was delivered on schedule and they put the box on my doorstep with no issues.

[Tamworthbay]

Jesus wept, just posted a message saying 'provisionally sold' and guess what one reply was?

 

 

'Did it smells bad'

 

 

​I'll just block this nut job to save any future grief I think.

Why? Does he smell?

[Pillock]

Luckily my Herpes is delivered by my friend Martin or his wife Emma in their electric-blue Suzuki Vitara and they know to come right in the front door ... or the weird old bloke John who I think has Parkinson's but Martin says he's just a lunchtime alky.

All good!

= wrong thread.

I'll get me coat....

Not sure I want Emma to come right in my front door if she delivers the Herpes.

[dollywobbler]

Our Hermes used to get delivered in a battered old Freelander. It's now a shiny Disco 4. Have the pay rates gone up for something?!

[MarvinsMom]

BAH HUMBUG!

 

HUMBUG I SAY, HUMBUG!

 

bloody xmas adverts can go and get bent too, 7 bloody weeks to got still and every other advert is an xmas one,

 

HUMBUG!

[Louise2cv]

A house in the village is floor to roof, on all three walls visible from the road, covered in flashing Christmas lights.

 

Its up to them obviously but IT'S WAY TOO EARLY!

 

NOvember, so called because NO, it's not Christmas yet.

[beko1987]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-oxfordshire-37894150

[Honey Badger]

2 new rear tyre's fitted to the wifes lexus today (235/55 R18 Hankook K415), local guys at Wellingborough Tyres were as good as always, that isn't the grump. 

 

Finding out the fronts wave worn badly on the inner edge and need replacing as well is whats making me grumble along with Hankook UK not having any bloody stock in the right size. Looks like the tracking/ alignment is well out and all the suspension parts look like they have been living in the North Sea which is bound to cause issues. Someone remind me why im getting rid of my Honda for this over complicated bag o shite again.......

[castros_bro]

Bloody "Shitecycle" thread.

[Richard]

When you're in an abattoir and you hear all the staff going 'eww' you know it's something pretty unpleasant. I still don't know what, I just concentrated very hard on what I was doing. And dropped a tiny screw on the floor so I had to rummage for it. Salad for lunch today I think.

[Cavcraft]

Bloody "Shitecycle" thread.

Just looks like someone trying to bump their thread count up?

[andy18s]

I remember working as a trimmer on a high volume butchery line

As the "hackers" cut the various joints out of the fore-quarters we would trim any excess fat or bone from the cut

We also had to cut out any abcesses found when the cow had been injected,which promptly got thrown around untill it burst on someone like a paintball......

If you got really lucky a cancerous growth turned up,and they used to really stink the place out

[taxi paul]

Well I changed the oil and filter on the crv last week. Noticed lots of oil on the driveway and a smell of oil when driving. So car back on stands and me crawling underneath to wrestle with oil filter trying to tighten it up. Filter is nice and tight. So bonnet up and I investigate , like I know what I am doing. Oil all over engine . Sensing some major catastrophe and wondering if that honda accord coupe is still for sale local. I spot that I hadn't put the filler cap back on the rocker cover. Filler cap back on , spray degrease everywhere and rinse off. Just need to tackle the oil on the driveway now.

[Craig the Princess]

My Dad's Vectra is deceased, the garage have told him no compression on cylinder 3 so it is C Ya L8r time

[Cavcraft]

'Unlike'

[Tamworthbay]

My right eye is unbelievably painful and I have a hell of a headache. Doc thought it might be a new (for me) type of migraine so have me some pills that were the weirdest things I have taken in a long time. Still feel properly shit and it's still hurting like hell so guess it's off to the eye hospital tomorrow.

[vulgalour]

Got myself into the unit today to set to taking the head off the Rover.  The space outside I need to use is empty so I go inside to get the keys, come outside and a Corsa D has appeared.  What's more, there's no sign of anyone that owns it and nobody is owning up to owning it so I can't get it moved.  That is not one of the things I was expecting would get in the way of fixing the Rover.

 

Shall try again tomorrow I suppose.

[Dirty Rooster]

My right eye is unbelievably painful and I have a hell of a headache. Doc thought it might be a new (for me) type of migraine so have me some pills that were the weirdest things I have taken in a long time. Still feel properly shit and it's still hurting like hell so guess it's off to the eye hospital tomorrow.

I don't want to scare you but ... yeah alright, I don't mind scaring you ... demand a scan for a brain-tumour.

Demand it!

I say demand because, unluckily, brain tumours can sometimes be the fastest-growing ones and every day counts.

(This is not to say if I had a sore eye and a headache I would do anything at all about it ...)

This is t'internet forum though.

[MarvinsMom]

knocked off early from work to take fuckin' rover to the local tyre emporium, 

 

i get there at 4pm, only to be told that they are too busy cos he had that to finish and that to finish and that he closes at 5pm.

 

so fuck you buddy, i'll run it home on the dustbin lid spare and give money to kwiksteal (or what other tyre place is open at the weekend) instead.

 

fucking cars......

 

so i went back to work for an hour.

[somewhatfoolish]

A house in the village is floor to roof, on all three walls visible from the road, covered in flashing Christmas lights.

 

Its up to them obviously but IT'S WAY TOO EARLY!

 

NOvember, so called because NO, it's not Christmas yet.

 

Bah humbug is spreading; BSE man takes revenge

[twosmoke300]

knocked off early from work to take fuckin' rover to the local tyre emporium,

 

i get there at 4pm, only to be told that they are too busy cos he had that to finish and that to finish and that he closes at 5pm.

 

so fuck you buddy, i'll run it home on the dustbin lid spare and give money to kwiksteal (or what other tyre place is open at the weekend) instead.

 

fucking cars......

 

so i went back to work for an hour.

How dare someone want to get home to see their family or whatever

[Louise2cv]

Bah humbug is spreading

 

I mean, in truth I get that it's up to them. I don't mind really.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(I totally do)

 

[gordonbennet]

Son's detached garage door forced off its runners,  motorcycle stolen.

 

Police wouldn't attend to check for any clues but crime number issued, is it me.

[Mr_Bo11ox]

Fucking meat from the supermarket, it's like 70% water, I'm trying to make a curry but the frying pan has a bastard swimming pool in the bottom. Remind me to go to the butchers shop next time!