The grumpy thread

[chaseracer]

On 15/05/2025 at 13:15, Popsicle said:

Local press are reporting an accident on the A50 island at Sudbury this morning.

Old car on its roof, no other details, what does the AS mind think it is?

Triumph Spitfire.

Ouch.

[Snipes]

I think that's a Jensen Healey 

[New POD]

7 hours ago, adw1977 said:

All the plastic on the front of modern cars could take some quite expensive damage from hitting a pheasant, that's probably why drivers are keen to not hit them!

I once hit a massive goose in the outside lane of the M65 in the dark, doing maybe 70 mph, in an Xr3i  and  apart from the feathers it left underneath there was no damage, but you are probably right in that modern cars are made of fragilium and brittleium composhite.  Which shatters into 100 pieces if you look at it.  

[chaseracer]

19 minutes ago, New POD said:

I once hit a massive goose in the outside lane of the M65 in the dark, doing maybe 70 mph, in an Xr3i  and  apart from the feathers it left underneath there was no damage, but you are probably right in that modern cars are made of fragilium and brittleium composhite.  Which shatters into 100 pieces if you look at it.  

Many moons ago, I used XM #2 to convert a large bird (on an unwise flight path) into a cloud of feathers and red mist on the A5 just past Atherstone.  This unfortunate interface left no evidence at all, anywhere on the car.

[High Jetter]

1 hour ago, Sir Snipes said:

I think that's a Jensen Healey 

I wondered about that too. 

[iainrcz]

Drove from Hardwick House to home earlier. Took some of the smaller roads to avoid the motorway.

The number of people absolutely cunting down single track roads is unbelievable.

3 people literally drove into hedges and just kept going.

I had to take a dive into a field entrance to avoid one dickhead who never seemed to see me and plowed past.

[Zelandeth]

1 hour ago, chaseracer said:

Many moons ago, I used XM #2 to convert a large bird (on an unwise flight path) into a cloud of feathers and red mist on the A5 just past Atherstone.  This unfortunate interface left no evidence at all, anywhere on the car.

How the heck did you manage that?  I took out a pheasant on the A96 one evening at speed in a Volvo 240 and it took out one headlight, the grill, AC condenser, radiator, fan, a bunch of wiring and left a dent in the leading edge of the bonnet!

Cleaning up the mess was by far the worst part though.   Thankfully bits of that era of Volvo were easy and cheap to get back then, except the AC condenser which I think had to come from the US and cost more than the car I was running at the time.

Guess the relatively slippery shape of the XM helped rather than a brick of a Volvo.

[Yoss]

On the other hand I was once overtaken by a pigeon whilst driving a Routemaster. I was doing somewhere around the RMs comfortable cruising speed of 40mph and it just cruised past on the nearside at my eye level and kept going so they don't hang about. So I'd imagine if you had the misfortune to meet one coming the other way the closing speed could be quite considerable. 

[Wibble]

51 minutes ago, Zelandeth said:

How the heck did you manage that?  I took out a pheasant on the A96 one evening at speed in a Volvo 240 and it took out one headlight, the grill, AC condenser, radiator, fan, a bunch of wiring and left a dent in the leading edge of the bonnet!

Cleaning up the mess was by far the worst part though.   Thankfully bits of that era of Volvo were easy and cheap to get back then, except the AC condenser which I think had to come from the US and cost more than the car I was running at the time.

Guess the relatively slippery shape of the XM helped rather than a brick of a Volvo.

I hit a pheasant at about 60mph in my old XJ40 years ago, no damage apart from mess. Just got lucky I suppose. Glass headlamps helped I reckon.

[reb]

One day several years ago I finished work early. I was working nights, so this meant about 4am. Maybe a bit later, because it was quite light. Anyway, I was taking full advantage of the totally empty roads and using all one hundred and forty of the Volvo's horses to make progress up the dual carriageway. A pigeon flew directly in front of me. The pigeon sustained a level of damage usually reserved for cartoons, while the car just had a suspicious looking smear on one headlight.

[GrumpiusMaximus]

9 hours ago, New POD said:

I once hit a massive goose in the outside lane of the M65 in the dark, doing maybe 70 mph, in an Xr3i  and  apart from the feathers it left underneath there was no damage, but you are probably right in that modern cars are made of fragilium and brittleium composhite.  Which shatters into 100 pieces if you look at it.  

A few years ago, my partner hit a pheasant in her MK2 Focus.  Didn't notice any damage on the car, so kept driving.

A couple of weeks later I noticed said pheasant had got stuck inside the lower grille on the bumper and I had to extract it.  Very, very unpleasant all around.  Especially for the pheasant...

On the other hand, my brother hit a swan a few weeks ago and it smashed the windscreen and slightly dented the roof of his old Hyundai i20.  He was told that if it had damaged the windscreen channel and it wouldn't fit then he'd probably be looking at a write off.

[comfortablynumb]

I hit a suicidal sheep on the north York moors a few years ago, in a Granada estate.

Took out the spotlight and bumper end cap

Didn't end well for the sheep 😕

When telling my insurance company, the girl l spoke to said I'd done better than the last sheep accident she dealt with, one fell off a raised bank as a car drove past, and came through the sunroof!

The driver then crashed the car and wrote it off😱

[IronStar]

Giffer in Fabia reversed into Bravo at the tyre shop. Rear light, quarter panel and bumper fucked. Millimeters away from dropping it off the jack as well.

For fucks sake, watch where you’re going! 

[New POD]

I have a feeling I'm going to be grumpy in the next 45 minutes. 

Buy to let Gas Service and Safety check. 

I am sat waiting outside for the technician.  

Yesterday morning I reminded the tenant that it was this morning and could she ensure that there was access to boiler and cooker and if possible give the cooker a quick wipe over.  She later texts to ask if they will be able to sort out the fact that one burner doesn't light on the cooker. That's a fail ? 

[myglaren]

2 hours ago, GrumpiusMaximus said:

A few years ago, my partner hit a pheasant in her MK2 Focus.  Didn't notice any damage on the car, so kept driving.

A couple of weeks later I noticed said pheasant had got stuck inside the lower grille on the bumper and I had to extract it.  Very, very unpleasant all around.  Especially for the pheasant...

On the other hand, my brother hit a swan a few weeks ago and it smashed the windscreen and slightly dented the roof of his old Hyundai i20.  He was told that if it had damaged the windscreen channel and it wouldn't fit then he'd probably be looking at a write off.

Hit a pheasant in the C5, the claws left scratches on the grill and a few feathers.

Hit a pine marten in the Mazda 6 last year.  Hell of a bang and it is unlikely that it survived but in a queue of cars travelling at 50~60 mph so unable to stop.  No damage whatsoever to the car.

[chaseracer]

25 minutes ago, New POD said:

She later texts to ask if they will be able to sort out the fact that one burner doesn't light on the cooker. That's a fail ? 

Would this depend on whether it's a mechanical/electrical issue with the unit itself, or the tenant hasn't been arsed to clean it properly?

[myglaren]

Had a text from Baxi to say they were coming to resuscitate the dead boiler, between 08:00 and 18:00.

That was all, no asking if that was acceptable.

What if I had been at work?  As it is I was going shopping, eldest son, partner and child arriving later.  Cupboards are bare (I was going shopping anyway but learned that they were coming at ten o'clock last night.

[paulplom]

2 hours ago, New POD said:

I have a feeling I'm going to be grumpy in the next 45 minutes. 

Buy to let Gas Service and Safety check. 

I am sat waiting outside for the technician.  

Yesterday morning I reminded the tenant that it was this morning and could she ensure that there was access to boiler and cooker and if possible give the cooker a quick wipe over.  She later texts to ask if they will be able to sort out the fact that one burner doesn't light on the cooker. That's a fail ? 

I'd just mark it down as an advisory. It's not exactly dangerous. Although a minute with a socket set and a paper clip would clean the jet. 

[New POD]

19 minutes ago, paulplom said:

I'd just mark it down as an advisory. It's not exactly dangerous. Although a minute with a socket set and a paper clip would clean the jet. 

Turns out that none of the burners on the hob, grill or oven have an ignitor that works.  

Gas technician marked it as safe but noted the fault, they don't fix cookers......I may just order a new one.  That will wipe out 5 months of the recent rent increase. 

he also noted that the gas pipe attaches to the mains at a point that is lower than latest regulations.  It's all safe. 

Boiler service noted that the water pressure in the radiators was low so the boiler would not turn on heating.  Tenent hadn't noticed.  He's sorted that for now.  

 

 

[Pieman]

Re animal stories, a couple of weeks ago I hit a pigeon while doing about 50mph on my way to work.  Luckily it only hit the A pillar and wing mirror rather than the windscreen, no damage done apart from a small mark on the mirror which it bent back - a lot of shit came out of it down the side of the car though!

[High Jetter]

13 minutes ago, New POD said:

I may just order a new one. 

If the tenant is so unaware and uncomplaining, you might be better off delaying that until change of tenant

[DavieW]

On a local FB page....

Does anyone know if the premier is accepting yodel parcels yet? Their machine was broken last week & they were waiting on a new one coming. Thanks! 📦📦

Why not just phone the f*cking place?

[Sunny Jim]

It seems that many posters on local FB pages don't think to use a search engine which would answer their question quicker and often more accurately.

[comfortablynumb]

Oh no, my life is going to shit, quick stick it on Facebook! 🤦

[captain_70s]

4 hours ago, Sunny Jim said:

It seems that many posters on local FB pages don't think. 

Removed superfluous text.

[sheffcortinacentre]

12 hours ago, Sunny Jim said:

It seems that many posters on local FB pages don't think to use a search engine which would answer their question quicker and often more accurately.

Gives them a headache 

[Lord Sterling]

You know, sometimes when you show an interest in something and someone else decides to swoop in. 😡

[Sunny Jim]

Went to start the roffle-win Puma today, it turned over fine but wouldn't fire. Popped the fuel hose off and nothing coming through from the tank. In any other car I've dealt with you can access the in tank pump through an opening under the rear seat. Not so on the Puma, only way to access it is to drop the tank.

Checked the fuse for the fuel pump and it had blown, might be an easy fix thought I,  foolish me. Replaced fuse, tried again, blew fuse again. Arses. Swapped fuel pump relay for a known good one. Tried again, blew fuse again. Arses again.

Now I have dropping the exhaust and heat shields before finally getting to drop the tank to access the fuel pump to look forward to. I can't jack the car up where it is so I'll have to push it to some more solid ground. Why Ford, why make it so unnecessarily complicated? And I need to buy some more 10A fuses.

Arses a third time.

[sheffcortinacentre]

Cut the floor open.

[Zelandeth]

2 hours ago, Sunny Jim said:

Went to start the roffle-win Puma today, it turned over fine but wouldn't fire. Popped the fuel hose off and nothing coming through from the tank. In any other car I've dealt with you can access the in tank pump through an opening under the rear seat. Not so on the Puma, only way to access it is to drop the tank.

Checked the fuse for the fuel pump and it had blown, might be an easy fix thought I,  foolish me. Replaced fuse, tried again, blew fuse again. Arses. Swapped fuel pump relay for a known good one. Tried again, blew fuse again. Arses again.

Now I have dropping the exhaust and heat shields before finally getting to drop the tank to access the fuel pump to look forward to. I can't jack the car up where it is so I'll have to push it to some more solid ground. Why Ford, why make it so unnecessarily complicated? And I need to buy some more 10A fuses.

Arses a third time.

Before you go to that length do try giving the bottom of the tank a good solid thump or ten - ideally right where the pickup is if you know.  10% chance it might jolt it free, and it'll need changing sooner or later anyway but it might buy a bit of time.  Worth a try at least before you start fscking about with the exhaust.