The grumpy thread

[Supernaut]

22 minutes ago, LightBulbFun said:

 

 

I dont work in IT (although I am the houses IT tech support if that counts) so I guess I am just a tech enthusiast but I fully fall into the 2nd box on the meme, because as you say, once you become aware of just what goes into Internet of shit devices and other such smart crap, its bloody terrifying LOL

 

I don't own a printer. They're devil-spawn.

[Tadhg Tiogar]

1 hour ago, Supernaut said:

I don't own a printer. They're devil-spawn.

Not even a typewriter?

[myglaren]

I have two dead printers here.  One a laser printer last used to print some arty stuff for my grandson.   I have to email everything to HP in America (and the printer thinks it is in the USA too) who email it back to the printer.

It works although rather silly.

While printing arty stuff, each item has to be approved on the touchscreen - there is an option to feed photo paper, envelopes etc in a second slot, or take paper from the tray.

If the 'button' is pressed too long it defaults to cancel

It did however come up with updates during the printing.  Grandson pushed 'decline' while it was doing it.  Now it just rattles and whirrs and keeps saying to turn it off and on again - which does precisely nothing.

£160 down the drain, hardly used.

Found that the car would reset one of the trip meters when the tank was filled.  Just spent ages trying to set that with no success at all, looks as though that option is not on mine.

[GrumpiusMaximus]

3 hours ago, Supernaut said:

I don't own a printer. They're devil-spawn.

That’s true.  They should all be burned with holy fire and then the magick incantations spoken to rid the area of their curse.

[richardmorris]

Three times the drink drive limit, and the poor innocent tree jumped out in front of them.

[Inspector Morose]

Waiting for ‘that’ phone call from the hospital about brother in law. 

He lives downstairs in the house after having a stroke a number of years ago. Early last week on a mission to the kitchen, I found him collapsed and barely  breathing  with foamy blood coming from his mouth. Rushed to hospital and in ICU on a ventilator ever since.

The dynamics of our family is, shall we say, strained - he used to call the police on us every time he never got his own way is amongst the many other ‘fun’ things but still, he is a member of the family and a close one at that.

The next few days/weeks are not going to be good.

[chaseracer]

Here if needed, old mate.

[somewhatfoolish]

1 hour ago, richardmorris said:

Three times the drink drive limit, and the poor innocent tree jumped out in front of them.

English not their PR's first language? Or is the first paragraph a haiku by Yoda?

[High Jetter]

Trees are bastards for moving like that, so quick.

[PhilA]

Woke up today thinking it was Saturday.

[outlaw118]

18 hours ago, Inspector Morose said:

The next few days/weeks are not going to be good.

Virtual non gay man-hugs from Team Fat & Blind

[Wack]

Seems Facebook don't vet their sponsored advertising , easy tiger, the one on the right 

[Fumbler]

Mosquitos. Whenever I open the window, around 3 or 4 fly in. Would be fine if that only happened once, right? No, of course not, it's happened 4 times now and the white walls and ceilings of my room are littered with either squished mosquito skidmarks or prints where my slippers have smacked the wall trying to eliminate the things. I am starting to cultivate a healthy distaste for them.

[Talbot]

9 minutes ago, Fumbler said:

squished mosquito skidmarks

🤣

[wuvvum]

43 minutes ago, Wack said:

Seems Facebook don't vet their sponsored advertising , easy tiger, the one on the right 

Am I the only one left wondering why you would want to apply coconut and sandalwood body balm to a prosthetic leg?

[Fumbler]

Just now, wuvvum said:

Am I the only one left wondering why you would want to apply coconut and sandalwood body balm to a prosthetic leg?

I thought the same thing, funnily enough!

[Jerzy Woking]

Spent bloody hours trying to get my Xerox lazer printer to join my wifi network with no luck. Only prints when connected to my laptop via a cable.

Seems I dodged a bullet there then. Won't try wifi again!

[R1152]

On 28/03/2021 at 13:58, Agila said:

Solid 8/10 rant @Leyland Worldmaster. Needed a bit more swearing though.

Good effort. My personal favourite is calling things "cunting".

You are Paul Dacre AICMFP.

(apparently for someone who felt that England should be a 1950s pastiche of gentility that never was, many a long-suffering soul at the shitrag he edited was subjected to what became known as a "double cunting" by him.)

[R1152]

1 hour ago, Fumbler said:

Mosquitos. Whenever I open the window, around 3 or 4 fly in. Would be fine if that only happened once, right? No, of course not, it's happened 4 times now and the white walls and ceilings of my room are littered with either squished mosquito skidmarks or prints where my slippers have smacked the wall trying to eliminate the things. I am starting to cultivate a healthy distaste for them.

Having been food for the little fuckers in Brazil and also in Paris, I share your disdain for them. Prior to going to work in Brazil many years ago I was told "don't even leave a bottle cap full of water about 'cos they'll breed in that".

So imagine my joy to see open barrels of water being used at the place I was working as temporary road barriers.

[wuvvum]

Mossies are irritating because they're so insubstantial that they're very difficult to track around a room - you can hear them but you can't always see them.  Only place they've ever really inconvenienced me though is in southern Kenya, and that's only because they are potentially deadly there so you have to sleep under a mosquito net, which is fucking sweltering.

[Talbot]

1 hour ago, wuvvum said:

Am I the only one left wondering why you would want to apply coconut and sandalwood body balm to a prosthetic leg?

Wow.  I didn't even notice she had a prosthetic until you mentioned it.

I need sleep.

[New POD]

On 29/03/2021 at 18:02, GrumpiusMaximus said:

That’s true.  They should all be burned with holy fire and then the magick incantations spoken to rid the area of their curse.

I have 3 printers. 

Quite useful.  

[sierraman]

Just seen a sign by highways England, ‘if you break down on the motorway pull to the left...’

I mean what dickhead doesn’t know this? If you don’t know that you need banning.

[Amishtat]

16 minutes ago, sierraman said:

Just seen a sign by highways England, ‘if you break down on the motorway pull to the left...’

I mean what dickhead doesn’t know this? If you don’t know that you need banning.

There's an equally cretinous ad on the TV to this effect too. 

[Jazoli]

1 minute ago, Amishtat said:

There's an equally cretinous ad on the TV to this effect too. 

They are trying to justify their incredibly dangerous 'smart' motorways after there has been several deaths.

[myglaren]

8 minutes ago, Amishtat said:

There's an equally cretinous ad on the TV to this effect too. 

Are there covid adverts on the telly.  I have heard one a couple of times on Classic FM and it sounds like Mariella Frostrup (lovely) but have found no confirmation anywhere.

[Amishtat]

Not sure, I've stopped paying attention to anything if there's a hint of Chinasniffles about it. 

[Amishtat]

18 minutes ago, Jazoli said:

They are trying to justify their incredibly dangerous 'smart' motorways after there has been several deaths.

Another stupid idea which really shouldn't have made it past the planning stage. Still, as we see so often, (including, it appears, the news 24 thread on here) there's fucking morons everywhere nowadays. 

[Talbot]

On 3/29/2021 at 2:16 PM, Supernaut said:

I don't own a printer. They're devil-spawn.

 

 

 

For anyone who isn't famailar with Phillip Jackson's work:  https://www.collectedcurios.com/   His slightly* surreal series called "Spider and Scorpion" is just superb.

[Talbot]

3 hours ago, sierraman said:

Just seen a sign by highways England, ‘if you break down on the motorway pull to the left...’

I mean what dickhead doesn’t know this? If you don’t know that you need banning.

There's a radio advert running to the same effect in this area with a bastardised version of "go west" by the Pet Shop Boys, turned into "Go Left".  I'm very much of the same opinion that anyone who breaks down in a live lane and doesn't do everything they possibly can to get off the carriageway and just leaves it there should be banned permanently

"But why? Why am I banned?"

"Because you're too stupid to be trusted with a high-speed metal box filled with people in close proximity to many other high-speed metal boxes filled with people".

But then I'm all in favour of permanent (life long) bans for anyone caught drink driving, causing death by dangerous driving, driving whilst disqualifed, etc.etc.