What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[ashmicro]

From Road and Track (1966) via MacDroitwich:

 

Unorthodox P6 road test

 

A test driver from the Rover Company Experimental Department had been driving around the English countryside all day in a Rover 2000 „mileage“ car. This is a test car on which the greatest possible amount of road mileage is put up on, in the shortest possible time. This kind of testing on public roads simulates normal use and occupies a considerable part of the Department´s time, being fundamental in the search for any weak points in the design. To add to the realism of the tests, the passenger compartment is loaded with sand bags to represent the weight of 3 passengers and the boot is weighted to simulate the luggage of 4 persons.

 

The driver´s stint that day had included further test work at the MIRA (Motor Institute Research Association) proving ground, and since this carried him well past his normal finishing time, he drove straight home in the test car which he was quite entitled to do.

 

However, it seems that even after a full day´s driving in the 2000, he had energy to spare, for after a meal he collected a friend and together they set off for a drive in the countryside, an event not quite so fully covered by his job description.

 

Later happenings make it difficult to assess the true object of this latter journey, maybe he saw his friend as a prospective buyer of one of his company´s cars, maybe they had some place to go.

 

In any case, 10.05 p.m. on a pleasant June evening saw them approaching a small town called Redditch, which lies a few miles to the west of Birmingham, on a well surfaced though relatively narrow road. The driver knew the road intimately and one feels some surprise at the fact that he seems to have forgotten about a narrow „humpbacked“ bridge, more resembling a ski jump, staddling a local canal immediately ahead.

 

Later our test driver estimated his speed at this point as approximately 50 mph (80 km/h) but since we have never offered vertical take-off equipment as an option on this model, it is thought that he erred on the side of modesty and that the true figure was more nearly twice his estimate.

 

It may be of course that, despite his undoubted experience as a test driver, he was deceived by the excellence of the 2000´s ride and thus made this error of judgement.

 

Be that as it may, when the car ascended the approach to the bridge, it just went on ascending and it did not touch the ground again for 164 ft. (49,9 meters).

 

Not surprisingly, some loss of directional stability was experience in the course of this manoeuver, a condition not much improved by the pronounced nose down attitude developed during flight.

 

The landing must have been somewhat tricky, in that it left a couple of tyre scrub marks on the road way equivalent to the track width of the vehicle and also a light, though sharply defined groove, indicating that one tyre had flattened sufficiently to allow the wheeltrim to contact the road as well.

 

A few feet further along, problems of control were heightened by the fact that the lefthand front wheel dropped into a short deep gully at the margin of the road. It is difficult to assess the degree to which our test driver was dictating the course of events at this juncture but the tyre skid marks clearly indicated that the car executed a somewhat lurid swerve across to the opposite side of the road and back again the course of covering the next 323 ft (98,45 meters), at the end of which it struck and partially disintegrated an unusually high standing kerbstone at the corner of an entry to a garage. This particular corner was also obstructed by a concrete post marking a public bus stop, and an intending lady passenger waiting beside it.

 

 

 

Fortunately both were avoided, though the narrowness of the margin may be judged by the fact that the lady, obviously recognising several features of the approaching vehicle that distinguished it from her bus, took refuge in the ditch behind her, the evidence which she subsequently gave in court could well have been coloured by the fact that although quite unharmed, two weeks were to elapse before she could utter a word.

 

Some 100 ft. (30,48 meters) further on, our 2000, still intact and containing two increasingly apprehensive occupants and still possessed of considerable momentum, encountered a wooden post. This time however there was no margin at all and the post hit by the left rear side of the car was ripped clean out of the ground and flung 60 ft. into an adjoining field.

 

Bouncing back into the roadway, the car travelled a further 70 ft. (21,3 meters) before it came upon another and more substantial object – a tree. Again the impact was taken on the left side, this time just in front of the rear wheel, indenting the structure deeply and ripping off both doors. This was the first time the vehicle had shed any of its component parts. It also turned end over end, detaching the complete left front suspension unit in the process.

 

Shortly afterwards it came to rest on its roof in the middle of the road, having travelling the hard way a distance of 748 ft. (228 meters) from the point of take-off at the bridge.

 

The test driver and his erstwhile friend stayed at their respective post to the end, however they managed to stagger forth shaken but intact.

 

They found that they had fortuitously chosen for their landing point the piece of roadway immediately in front of the Redditch Police Station. So the least possible time was wasted in recording the official details of this unscheduled if somewhat spectacular test.

 

The test driver is still a valued employee of the Rover Car Company, he has however been transferred from Experimental Testing to Inspection.

 

Road & Track (1966)

[catsinthewelder]

That /\ is excellent

[STUNO]

^^^

I shall steal that for our next Rover club newsletter.

It is beautifully written, Thanks ashmicro

[MrDuke]

I OFFISHURLEY HAZ NEW SHITE YO

 

No ifs or maybes, I've slapped the deposit down (electronically) and I'll be spending a pleasant* 5+ hours on various trains on Tuesday heading south to pick it up.

It's not the Triumph (Mrs_Duke decided she didn't like the expression on its headlights), it's something far worthier of the forum's love. Brown/beige interior too.

 

I'm grinning so hard I believe I may have ruptured my face muscle.

[Cavcraft]

I OFFISHURLEY HAZ NEW SHITE YO

 

No ifs or maybes, I've slapped the deposit down (electronically) and I'll be spending a pleasant* 5+ hours on various trains on Tuesday heading south to pick it up.

It's not the Triumph (Mrs_Duke decided she didn't like the expression on its headlights), it's something far worthier of the forum's love. Brown/beige interior too.

 

I'm grinning so hard I believe I may have ruptured my face muscle.

 

Spill the Heinz old lad, spill the Heinz...

[MrDuke]

Well I was going to wait and reveal it on Tuesday, but that would suggest it was worth a build-up of suspense, which it definitely isn't. Oh well.

 

'Tis a Mk3 Escort estate, metallic beige on cloverleafs, otherwise totally stock-looking. I can't put any photos up as the eBay listing's been pulled (yes, I made a sneaky underhanded offer ) but I'm sure y'all can picture it

 

Only visible rust is on one wing and the tailgate, so hopefully welding will be minimal and not for a while anyway. MOT until August. 1.6 CVH at the mo, but I'm thinking of bunging a 1.25 Zetec in there instead at some point, for cheep taks yo.

 

I'm proper chuffed tbh, after missing out on the Mk4 the other day - a Mk3 complete with unnecessary and slightly tacky 'chrome' is a total bonus.

[Cavcraft]

Bloody hell, looks nice that. Did he keep the wheels that were in the listing, they look really good on that car?

[HillmanImp]

If its the one I have found in completed listings, it does look pretty fly.

[MrDuke]

Bloody hell, looks nice that. Did he keep the wheels that were in the listing, they look really good on that car?

 

 

Yep, unfortunately those wheels (Vecs?) aren't included - if I had a few more pennies I'd have made another offer to keep them, but hey. I quite like clovers, and there's not exactly a limited choice of old Ford-fitment alloys if I decide to change them.

[Albert Ross]

Check battery tray and flitches before handing over the wedge. Inner sills and pillar roots, Drop cash back in pocket and waver a bit. Boot floor, get a mate who takes you to "lend" you £100 to complete the purchase. Fluffy bits, just wager accordingly.

[retrogeezer]

you have great taste MrDuke!

 

[Pete-M]

604 needs to go on a quick mission to get the final MOT bits done tomorrow and it had bugger all fuel in when I took it to the MOT station, also the Jeep fuel light was doing my tit in (not an issue as it's always on LPG, but I hate any warning lights being on) so it was off to the local petrol station to queue with the rest of 'em.

 

Fortunately, the Heep petrol filler is on the nearside and the two diesel pumps at that pump were covered so for two days in a row I've driven to the same petrol station, breezed past the diesel drivers to an empty pump and fuelled the Jeep. Tonight I made a deliberate show of filling a petrol can in the middle of putting fuel in the Jeep and got some nasty glares from an Audi TDi driver who was about five back in the queue for the next pump.

 

I only spent £20 as £13 went in the Jeep and £7 in the can, but it was quite amusing driving in after Audiman, filling up in front of him and being out of there before he'd got one car closer to the pump. Twattish, but it's what I'm good at.

[meggersdog]

All this panic buying of fuel is mental.Thought I'd get some diesel this morning as the light was on.Local Total garage they are queuing almost onto the road.I'll go to Tesco's in the next village then, ah no diesel and most of the petrol pumps are empty too.In the store for 20 litres of veg oil it is then (£1.12 a litre too).It gets to 9 O'clock this evening and I realise I should have bought a bag of sugar while I was out this morning.Another trip to the local Total garage then.Same as this morning only now there are only three pumps working.I go in and grab a bag of sugar whilst listening to some woman moaning about the lack of fuel in the surrounding petrol stations.The cashier scans my sugar and asks what pump. "Oh,no fuel" says I "gave up on that this morning,I'm running on veg-oil" I turned to the moaning Minnie as she had mentioned the Tesco filling station being empty and said "Tesco's got plenty of veg oil" and with a smug grin I walked past the queue of sheep waiting to pay for fuel.

 

Running a twenty year old diesel with an in-line fuel heater has it's advantages at times like these.

[cobblers]

Running a twenty year old diesel with an in-line fuel heater has it's advantages at times like these.

 

I was talking to the greek bloke up the road who I get my lunch from, and mentioned that he should just get some veg oil from the cash and carry and pour it in his car. I saw his face light up: "Does that really work? Wow! I know what I'm gonna bloody do!" etc. I tried explaining that it doesn't work in every car and that he could well bollocks his injector pump if he doesn't do some research first, but I get the feeling he's just going to pilfer a barrel of the stuff from the chippy next door and sling it in his tank.

[RedSparrow]

Some of you may know I am in the Czech Republic. Out the window of the bus today I spotted a 'seconds' shop selling FSO t-shirts. I would guess they are old stock from somewhere. I will investigate further and report back and if possible might be able to post them to people who want them. Watch this space.

[Craig the Princess]

Some of you may know I am in the Czech Republic. Out the window of the bus today I spotted a 'seconds' shop selling FSO t-shirts. I would guess they are old stock from somewhere. I will investigate further and report back and if possible might be able to post them to people who want them. Watch this space.

 

2 Please

[eddyramrod]

One of each design please, XL! That's brave of me, I don't know how many designs they have!

[retrogeezer]

one for me please if postage isn't too extortionate!

[Cavcraft]

Cavette JR has just rung from the Theory Test centre: Verdict? PASS!!!

[Volksy]

Catching up with Binhoker from here for a few impromptue ales last night. Sometimes the best nights out are unplanned!

[Alexg]

Yes Red Sparrow, I'll be interested in one!

[Negative Creep]

I'd be interested in a large sized shirt

[MrDuke]

Cavette JR has just rung from the Theory Test centre: Verdict? PASS!!!

 

Good news! Apparently the hazard perception is still a right PITA.

[Albert Ross]

Re: FSO shirt....if available, XL please.... !!! Yes, I finally have the opportunity to have a chance to be considered to own a proper shite shirt.. Ta muchly.

[RedSparrow]

Cool, seems to be a lot of interest. I'll pop down there on monday and buy whatever they have! Sure I can flog the rest on ebay.

[chaseracer]

Catching up with Binhoker from here for a few impromptue ales last night. Sometimes the best nights out are unplanned!

True that! Hope he's well.

[trigger]

Has any one been watching The Petrol Age on Sky Atlantic? http://skyatlantic.sky.com/shows/the-petrol-age

 

It's a surprisingly good program about the history of the motor car, The last episode was about iconic british cars, The Mini, Land Rover, Jaguar E-Type, I was impressed to see Paul McGann, who the presenter, being allowed to drive the very first Land Rover as well and the pre-production model LR off road through the mud and water.

 

The stories on how the cars came about from the family of the original designers and developers is fascinating

 

I strongly recommend watching the series if you can, It's on Sky Go if you have Sky TV.

[Skizzer]

Doing a bit of googling inspired by Vin's Panda spot the difference thread, but not wanting to hijack same, I notice that the new Panda comes with, wait for it...

 

 

 

 

...a quartic steering wheel!

 

 

They call it 'squircular'.

[TagoraSX]

http://www.rotuscars.com/

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

I wanted to play my iPod in the car so I pulled out the tape player and bought a cheap Sony CD/aux headunit on eBay. Naturally I stuck the old one on eBay, where it sold for more than I paid for the new one.

 

Awesome.