What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[EyesWeldedShut]

https://bit.ly/3KG0B7Z

I got a cheap pair of noise cancelling headphones for public transport systems that involve Mitty like beings - fantastic invention so long as you don't forget to charge them up before you leave.

If you get a minute can you ask him how to get the starter motor off a puma engined Pug Boxer (1) without lacerating the f*ck out of the back of your hands (2) what's the torque on the solenoid lead bolt?
Thanks

[High Jetter]

3 hours ago, Wack said:

I'm expecting the train driver to come and ask him for advice in a bit 

I had a mouthful of coffee as my eyes got to that line. At least I've got a nice clean screen now the coffee's gone.

[Wack]

10 minutes ago, High Jetter said:

I had a mouthful of coffee as my eyes got to that line. At least I've got a nice clean screen now the coffee's gone.

This gets better, a woman got on the train, asked the conductor in a very North East accent  what time it gets into Darlington 

Er you're going the wrong way, get off at Taunton for dartington, she didn't hear that he'd said dartington so I had to say something to make sure this poor woman wasn't on a tour of the UK 

[Wack]

Rac trolling 

[richardmorris]

On 2/23/2023 at 11:16 PM, High Jetter said:

Thank you. 🙇‍♂️

You had to ask, didn’t you.

[High Jetter]

8 minutes ago, richardmorris said:

You had to ask, didn’t you.

Yup, was genuinely puzzled and appreciated the full explanation. Sorry if it caused you a problem.

[S2000]

The new CBT steed hence the PCX125 in the for sale section. Bloody cold today but managed 30 miles before my lack of appropriate thermals diverted me home…… love it!

[Mally]

I fell off a ladder today.

This could easily have been in the grumpy thread.

I've been working 8 hours for 8 days. I'm going to Blackpool tomorrow.

[Wack]

22 minutes ago, Mally said:

 

I've been working 8 hours for 8 days. I'm going to Blackpool tomorrow.

Is that like being sent to Coventry but with sand hitting you in the face 

Glad falling off the ladder wasn't as bad as it might've been 

I moved into a new house in 1990, the builders stained all the soffits and it looked shit so I bought a ladder, got up there with my pot of stain, thought, this is much higher than it looks and got someone else to do it 

Ladder is still in the garage 

[RoverFolkUs]

On 2/24/2023 at 4:01 PM, privatewire said:

This has appeared on my youngest brother’s car, being a serial Renault molester he is much more relaxed about it than I’d be…..

A very fitting audio track to be playing while driving a Renault

I tried searching for something that's goes like "is there a way to headgasket failure" on the maiden voyage of my old Rover 45, to no avail.. 😉

[richardmorris]

5 hours ago, High Jetter said:

Yup, was genuinely puzzled and appreciated the full explanation. Sorry if it caused you a problem.

Sarcasm. I appreciate @LightBulbFuns knowledge and enthusiasm. If not the love of oddly shaped glowing bulbs!

 

[Mally]

1 hour ago, Wack said:

Is that like being sent to Coventry but with sand hitting you in the face 

Glad falling off the ladder wasn't as bad as it might've been 

I moved into a new house in 1990, the builders stained all the soffits and it looked shit so I bought a ladder, got up there with my pot of stain, thought, this is much higher than it looks and got someone else to do it 

Ladder is still in the garage 

It was only a step ladder inside.  Was 3 steps up and must have put my foot off the side instead of the step. Dropped on my back with the ladder on top of me. Fortunately I'd tidied up the floor.

It's a massive job. My late wife had a roll in disabled shower I installed 30 years ago.

Son now wants a bath/shower thingy. Obv he's taken the family to see Mickey Mouse, 

I've had to sort the floor. Move all the pipes. Shower proof panels on the walls Thermostatic mixer at one end of the bath........

I normally only work a couple of hours at a time.  I'm bleedin 77 it's a wonder I can climb.  Falling is easy.

 

I like Blackpool, I go often.  Usually just one night, Lazy Sunday £29, for 5 course evening meal and  all you can eat  breakfast. 2 acts at night in the Bar.

It's nice on the prom in Summer.  Winter I stay in the bar. 

[808 Estate]

[Matty]

Paddy McGuinness spotted on a date with Kirsty Gallagher. Fuck me that's what I call an upgrade. Good lad 😀

[Metal Guru]

Latest money saving hack (Daily Mirror)

Basically a women has this fantastic idea of making a list and checking prices to stop her over spending at the supermarket!

I mean, why didn’t I think of that?!

[Mally]

Tides in, bit dull.

I'm not dull I've had a meeting with John Smith.

Sea view double room for one (ah well!). 5 course meal at 6pm if I don't fall asleep.

 

 

[Matty]

8 minutes ago, Mally said:

Tides in, bit dull.

I'm not dull I've had a meeting with John Smith.

Sea view double room for one (ah well!). 5 course meal at 6pm if I don't fall asleep.

 

 

North pier?

[Mally]

5 minutes ago, Matty said:

North pier?

Yes, I'm in Tiffanys. Mattress is good which is a gamble here, but sea view tend to be better rooms.

They charge more for sea view, Normally £60 a night ish plus food.

But if you know the ropes. Half price with food on Sunday.

They also do AI, now. I thought it would be full of drunks, but it was OK last time.

I can go and see Springsteen ish, but it's £30. Probably only cost me that to see the man himself years ago. I'll watch the free stuff in here, but skip the Bingo.

[Matty]

42 minutes ago, Mally said:

Yes, I'm in Tiffanys. Mattress is good which is a gamble here, but sea view tend to be better rooms.

They charge more for sea view, Normally £60 a night ish plus food.

But if you know the ropes. Half price with food on Sunday.

They also do AI, now. I thought it would be full of drunks, but it was OK last time.

I can go and see Springsteen ish, but it's £30. Probably only cost me that to see the man himself years ago. I'll watch the free stuff in here, but skip the Bingo.

Very nice. Have a good do 

[meggersdog]

This 15 thousand mile trailer queen turned up on Friday

Booked in for an MoT on Tuesday. Phoned the owner yesterday asking for the front numberplate. "It's in a carrier bag at home, why, do you need it "

[Timewaster]

7 hours ago, Matty said:

Paddy McGuinness spotted on a date with Kirsty Gallagher. Fuck me that's what I call an upgrade. Good lad 😀

To be fair, Mrs McGuinness looks pretty dam fine.

 

[Skizzer]

On 2/23/2023 at 10:08 PM, hairnet said:

@Skizzer

video

stat

diolch

Sorry 😬

[cort1977]

28 minutes ago, Timewaster said:

To be fair, Mrs McGuinness looks pretty dam fine.

 

That's what I thought.  Didn't he cheat on her?  What a fucking twat!

[RoverFolkUs]

[RoverFolkUs]

Boy do I love the Citroen Xsara Picasso Facebook group

So someone has one making a whining noise or something, after many people telling them for ages they've finally removed the Aux belt to find it's the alternator. 

Someone helpfully advises that the tensioner is a left hand thread to remove it, he then responds to ask if he needs a left hand spanner 😂😂

Could be tongue in cheek, maybe not, can't tell 😆

[RoverFolkUs]

And another, his Picasso has gone into economy mode and he's asking what the problem is (there isn't one...)

"It's french just scrap the fucker and buy a German problem solve" 

Very helpful m9 ... 

*A list of spurious, historical fault codes*

"Ye scrap it mate" 

Great advice! 😆

"Ohh I pay for this car 900 pound but I have problems"

Sounds like you've answered your own query there 😂 

[EyesWeldedShut]

4 hours ago, Mally said:

They also do AI, now

Round these parts that means a guy rocks up in waterproof gear, lubes up his limbs and then does nefarious things to the nether regions of horses and cows  that involve semen -  keep your bum against the wall there? Sleep tight

[MikeR]

When away , let the saucepan play ! 

[cobblers]

I don't know if this is a grin or a grump really. I live in a fairly rural place, our neighbours are pensioners etc. Last night I got up for a piss at about 3am, and I could hear a very faint, very fast bassline. talking 180bpm fast. You never hear music here other than maybe the pub has a karaoke night on, but they're shut by 11. 

I was so confused, it sounded familiar - Definitely happy hardcore at that BPM with the naff key changes. It's a guilty pleasure of mine, it's got a bad image but I just absolutely love it, I listened to it as a kid on begged/borrowed tapes, just takes me back to better times.

I opened the window to see if I could hear where it was coming from - it sounded so familiar, I was worried that the stereo had turned on in my van on the drive or something, I was doing my head in! 

But nope, it was very distant, and just an occasional hint at a vocal on the wind. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud, but I even recognised the mix being played as it's one of my favourites.

So yeah, there was someone playing Force & Styles at Helter Skelter 1997 at 3:30am in the middle of nowhere, I can only presume in a car parked up somewhere. It was about -2 so probably a bit cold for any impromptu raves in some field or something. 

 

 

[RoverFolkUs]

9 minutes ago, cobblers said:

I don't know if this is a grin or a grump really. I live in a fairly rural place, our neighbours are pensioners etc. Last night I got up for a piss at about 3am, and I could hear a very faint, very fast bassline. talking 180bpm fast. You never hear music here other than maybe the pub has a karaoke night on, but they're shut by 11. 

I was so confused, it sounded familiar - Definitely happy hardcore at that BPM with the naff key changes. It's a guilty pleasure of mine, it's got a bad image but I just absolutely love it, I listened to it as a kid on begged/borrowed tapes, just takes me back to better times.

I opened the window to see if I could hear where it was coming from - it sounded so familiar, I was worried that the stereo had turned on in my van on the drive or something, I was doing my head in! 

But nope, it was very distant, and just an occasional hint at a vocal on the wind. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud, but I even recognised the mix being played as it's one of my favourites.

So yeah, there was someone playing Force & Styles at Helter Skelter 1997 at 3:30am in the middle of nowhere, I can only presume in a car parked up somewhere. It was about -2 so probably a bit cold for any impromptu raves in some field or something. 

 

 

I wish my neighbours played music like that during their anti-social splurges... Usually it's the shittest tiktok playlist they can find on YouTube being played full blast on repeat 😥🤢 ... Yes she's a fully grown adult as well!