What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[mrbenn]

I got a letter today asking me to go for a job interview in two weeks!

 

Bloody good luck, Eddy!

 

What's the job?

[richardmorris]

From the swinley MTB pages on Facebook.

[eddyramrod]

Bloody good luck, Eddy!

 

What's the job?

I don't want to put any kind of jinx on it yet...

(But thank you, anyway )

[FakeConcern]

[cort16]

Some great old car trade pictures on car sales memes

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

https://www.facebook.com/carsalesmemes/

[Kiltox]

FFS Beko, out of order m8

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-47391080

[beko1987]

FFS Beko, out of order m8

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-47391080

How do you think I got a boot full of parts to fix my car the week before payday...

 

Anyway, James made me do it

[beko1987]

 

Turncoat bastard dobbed me in. I'll be out one day if your listening, I'll rip the motor from your stupid non cord rewind head with a lump hammer whilst you sleep

[Kiltox]

Always thought James was a wrong ‘un

[purplebargeken]

The CQC are due to visit our Trust Very Soon.

 

I have informed my management team that I intend to answer each question the CQC person may ask thusly: 'I believe that may be an ecumenical matter'.

 

I see no flaw with this plan, especially as I retire in 57 days.

[anonymous user]

Hopefully you will not do a full Father Jack if you get fed up with the questions

[beko1987]

AA fun this morning, got our renewal letter yesterday, £29 a month...

 

Called up, best they can do is £24 a month sir, of course we are more expensive than our competitors (I read him my green flag quote for £14.50 a month) as we are the best blah blah added services blah blah we can fix your car at the roadside if you have an accident (WTF, how does that work. "Oh hi, yea I hit a tree at 65mph could you rebuild the front end of my car so I can continue my journey?)

 

OK, thanks, please cancel

But,,,

CANCEL. PLEASE. NOW

 

Amy's ears pricked up at this point as I was on loudspeaker as I was on the laptop at the time, I could see her mouthing 'are you sure, what are you doing?'. Told her to watch, as I couldnt talk as they can still hear me even though I'm on hold whilst he cancels.

 

'OK Mr Watson, that's cancelled for you, however if I could ju... *ping, cancellation email* "Have a good day, bye" - hang up

 

Amy then worries that I've cancelled the breakdown cover, she's obviously come to like it as a safety net, remembering me having to use it in the past (ZX collection, Xantia cambelt failure). Hang on, why have I got an email from the AA welcoming me?

 

Because as soon as the cancellation email came through, I hit buy on an identical policy, same cover, same cars, same bank account... but in Amys name. £15 a month

 

Welcome to the AA love, I'm off to work, bye!

 

Chancing fuckers!

[Kiltox]

£15 a month? Autoaid is £44 a year

[loserone]

Is that home assist too or coming with a warranty or something?

[Sheefag]

Some great old car trade pictures on car sales memes

 

 

 

 

 

https://www.facebook.com/carsalesmemes/

Free Cockbooks. Now that's how you to drag the punters in.

 

[Sheefag]

The CQC are due to visit our Trust Very Soon.

 

I have informed my management team that I intend to answer each question the CQC person may ask thusly: 'I believe that may be an ecumenical matter'.

 

I see no flaw with this plan, especially as I retire in 57 days.

 

Ken, whatever you do, don't leave it until the last couple of days to go on the rob.

I, and I'm confident many here, have made that expensive, schoolboy error.

[beko1987]

£15 a month? Autoaid is £44 a year

Yea but don't you have to pay to be recovered then claim it back? That's the bit I can't do. Being perpetually skint after the 2nd week of the month I just need to be dragged home foc so I can fix it at the weekend

[loserone]

Never.

[dean36014]

I don't pay that way with my Autoaid account. I had the XM recovered last year, there within a hour, scooped up and deposited home, no charge.

[beko1987]

*looks into things*

[loserone]

I think technically they can charge, but most local recovery orgs will not want the hassle of taking money from the user

[beko1987]

£48 a year

 

Right fuck this, thanks chaps. Will get AA cancelled (cooling off period win! Will have to get Amy to do it though) and get that bought!

[Craig the Princess]

They changed that about 3 years ago (just after I started with them). No need to pay for the recovery (the two times I've been recovered).

[3VOM]

52877871_2063753230345178_2801819896910970880_n.jpg

Which reminds me - what is the worst thing to read in Braille?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do not touch.

[wuvvum]

Picture of the head honcho of Daimler on the news is making me grin.  Old Gottlieb himself would have been proud of those whiskers.

 

[Sheefag]

He did a cracking job, landing that A320 in the Hudson.

[Stanky]

Apologies in advance to songstress and strong female role model Rachel Platton, but having heard the chorus of this on the radio the other day, I felt compelled to write an improved version for the forum theme music. While possibly not in the same league as Billy's Convoy rendition, I'm pretty pleased with myself. Written in notepad, on work time, I give you "Shite Song" (to be sung at volume 11, after 17 pints in your local flat-roof pub at 1am), a subtle* reworking of "Fight Song" with original tune available here

 

Shite song

From a bald tyre
on a Volvo
To chassis rot
on a Renault

Life with no working car
In the sodding fleet
I might only have ten days
The ministry won't have me beat

All those parts that didn't fit
EURO Car Parts hurt my brain
I'll weld this muttha up tonight
DVSA feel my pain!

Chorus:
This is my shite song
Its going all wrong
I'm not alright song

The welder's turned on
Isopon's mixed up real strong
I'll play my shite song

And I don't really care if everyone thinks I'm crazeee
Cause I'll never lease an Audi on PCP

Losing blood and I'm tasting rust
In grinding discs, all my trust
About to go bust,
say I'm about to go bust

Its been ten days
still chasing rot
but there's a grinder burning in my hands
and I still believe
Yeah I still believe

All those parts that didn't fit
EURO Car Parts hurt my brain
I'll weld this muttha up tonight
DVSA feel my pain!

Chorus:
This is my shite song
Its going all wrong
I'm not alright song

The welder's turned on
(Isopon's) mixed up real strong
I'll play my shite song
And I don't really care if everyone thinks I'm crazeee
Cause I'll never lease an Audi on PCP

An Audi on PCP

From a bald tyre
on a Volvo
To chassis rot
on a Renault

Life with no working car
In the sodding fleet
I might only have ten days
The ministry won't have me beat

 

Chorus:
This is my shite song
Its going all wrong
I'm not alright song

The welder's turned on
(Isopon's) mixed up real strong
I'll play my shite song
And I don't really care if everyone thinks I'm crazeee
Cause I'll never lease an Audi on PCP

Cause I'll never lease an Audi on PCP

 

Soz...

[Squire_Dawson]

Picture of the head honcho of Daimler on the news is making me grin.  Old Gottlieb himself would have been proud of those whiskers.

 

 

Did he work in Argentina sometime after the war I wonder.

[paulplom]

Rick and Morty is my new favourite thing. It's hillarious, really.

 

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[paulplom]

I think I am Rick. All I'm missing is the hip flask.

 

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