What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[dozeydustman]

Offered a load of stuff on various giving away websites. One lady asked for 8 different things.

 

She came round with these for me.

 

 

I'll have to hide them from the mrs and madam because they'll be inhaled within seconds of being spotted.

[twosmoke300]

The crystal meth of choccies !

[mrbenn]

Solution? Get them eaten before they even know the chocs are on the premises!

[DeeJay]

My home for the last few days. Only a small job but successful and should make walking much nicer !!

 

004.JPG

 

I now have a tap at the bottom of my leg to pee out of, actually quite convenient. but not permanent.

Penis extension?

[Lord Sterling]

You know the picture going round of the Megane convertible with a Merc grille grafted on?

I BLOODY SPOTTED IT, near my mates house in Cheetham Hill, the areshole of Manchester (don't worry he's moving soon).

 

 

Truly a sight to behold.

 

[STUNO]

Penis extension?

 

Not required.

 

 

 

But thanks for enquiring

[Mrcento]

Decided to fire off an email about an old garage unit to see if they'd be open to reducing rent in return for refurbing the interior....

 

I'm expecting a big fat no, because any unit you can get a car in = name your own price and add some zeros to the end, but it's been vacant a few months now and is as well used as an ex commercial garage can be, (so might be attractive to the owner that not only will the unit be in use and get rent, but will be well looked after and returned in a better condition than initially rented out as = more valuable in future for another tenant if the time comes) but hell....  The grin will be massive if i can pull it off!

[Kiltox]

As a “bastard landlord” id welcome the above tbh

[Mrcento]

As a “bastard landlord” id welcome the above tbh

 

Same, if the shoe was on the other foot and i had a unit to let out, i'd rather be getting less rent (but at least a guaranteed income from it every month), value being added to the property and it becoming more attractive long term than sit and hold out for the full whack for an unspecified amount of months, earning nothing at all in between times and still having a property at the end of that still worth the same (or less).

 

Even if they agree, i doubt they'll be willing to take much off so still might not be viable but still i reckon it's a fair proposal. The market here is one i can't get my head around, the culture seems to be whatever price it's up for is what you pay, not a penny less. If that means the property sits empty for 3-4 years, then empty it will sit without a single reduction in the advertised rent price in the hope some punter will be desperate and pay full whack eventually. There's genuinely north of 20 units up for rent right now local to me, some of them have been unoccupied since 2009! You'd think at some point the owners would hit the "something's better than nothing" stage, but nope.

[New POD]

Same, if the shoe was on the other foot and i had a unit to let out, i'd rather be getting less rent (but at least a guaranteed income from it every month), value being added to the property and it becoming more attractive long term than sit and hold out for the full whack for an unspecified amount of months, earning nothing at all in between times and still having a property at the end of that still worth the same (or less).

 

Even if they agree, i doubt they'll be willing to take much off so still might not be viable but still i reckon it's a fair proposal. The market here is one i can't get my head around, the culture seems to be whatever price it's up for is what you pay, not a penny less. If that means the property sits empty for 3-4 years, then empty it will sit without a single reduction in the advertised rent price in the hope some punter will be desperate and pay full whack eventually. There's genuinely north of 20 units up for rent right now local to me, some of them have been unoccupied since 2009! You'd think at some point the owners would hit the "something's better than nothing" stage, but nope.

In Merseyside I know of one large mafia like family who own lots of properties.

 

My understanding is that they'd rather keep rents high, and have a few empty, than allow one tenant to think they could be getting a better deal.

 

I'd quite like to see all rent agreements published by the land registry like sales.

[Tickman]

Decided to fire off an email about an old garage unit to see if they'd be open to reducing rent in return for refurbing the interior....

 

I'm expecting a big fat no, because any unit you can get a car in = name your own price and add some zeros to the end, but it's been vacant a few months now and is as well used as an ex commercial garage can be, (so might be attractive to the owner that not only will the unit be in use and get rent, but will be well looked after and returned in a better condition than initially rented out as = more valuable in future for another tenant if the time comes) but hell.... The grin will be massive if i can pull it off!

I looked for years for something to rent with no luck.

Ended up with the workshop in Forfar as it was very poorly advertised and a bit* of a shit hole.

[rainagain]

 

The market here is one i can't get my head around, the culture seems to be whatever price it's up for is what you pay, not a penny less. If that means the property sits empty for 3-4 years, then empty it will sit without a single reduction in the advertised rent price in the hope some punter will be desperate and pay full whack eventually. There's genuinely north of 20 units up for rent right now local to me, some of them have been unoccupied since 2009! You'd think at some point the owners would hit the "something's better than nothing" stage, but nope.

Same round my way, a family friend used to run a small engineering business which employed two people. His land lord decided to double the rent for his unit. He ended up having to fold his business as he couldn’t afford the increase.

 

The unit has been empty now for over two years, so that’s the land lord lost his income, two people lost their job and one person lost their business. Makes no sense to me.

[Mrcento]

I looked for years for something to rent with no luck.

Ended up with the workshop in Forfar as it was very poorly advertised and a bit* of a shit hole.

 

It's frustrating, been keeping an eye on out of town as well, i actually came relatively close to one in Blairgowrie about a year ago but a local car dealer apparently came in offering full rent + 20% for off site storage to make sure he got it, so that was that.

 

Same round my way, a family friend used to run a small engineering business which employed two people. His land lord decided to double the rent for his unit. He ended up having to fold his business as he couldn’t afford the increase.

 

The unit has been empty now for over two years, so that’s the land lord lost his income, two people lost their job and one person lost their business. Makes no sense to me.

 

It's madness. Landlords want maximum £ immediately and would seemingly rather sit getting nothing for years and wait in hope of someone paying it. Which, if they ever arrived, would never make up the difference to cover the lost earning of the thing sitting empty for years anyway.

 

Already had an email back wanting to talk figures and length of potential tenancy "to put to the owner", so not quite sure where to go from there... Tenancy length, 2 ways of looking at it, a longer one = stable income for landlord over x years, but if i'm getting it discounted, they might not want that if they feel they could get more for it in a year...which given my plans to refurb, i'd be at risk of.

 

Money wise... i have no idea, If the owner is only willing to take 5% off, i'd probably come across a bit of a belter if i offered 30% less., likewise if i offered more and he accepted, i'd feel stupid for not offering less, to be honest it's going to be more than i can really afford even with a massive discount, but, y'know, risk v reward... all about just reducing the risk of financial ruin as much as possible for as long as possible!

[loserone]

Why not suggest that the rent start very low and ramps up over a couple of years, so you're balancing the risk as you improve the place. Perhaps with a deposit so they know you're serious.

[busmansholiday]

No, I don't know what the CZ reg wagon driver was doing in a narrow lane, neither did the law that were parked the other side.

 

 

But,it, and local traffic weren't going anywhere fast.

[artdjones]

No, I don't know what the CZ reg wagon driver was doing in a narrow lane, neither did the law that were parked the other side.

 

IMG_20190208_123820.jpg

 

But,it, and local traffic weren't going anywhere fast.

Satnav strikes again!

[Frogchod]

Just insured the Buick, 75 euros

For reasons only known to insurance companies that's half the price of the 850cc Reliant for a 3800cc barge...

Now the fun* starts in getting onto French plates.

[fordperv]

The customer service i received from Ashley competition exhausts made me grin, I had an issue with the manifold i got for my saph, i sent them some pictures and rang to speak to them on Monday had a great chat, he knew the issue instantly and couldn't be more apologetic, they made a replacement manifold and I received it yesterday, they must've literally pushed it straight to the front of the queue

 

I fitted it earlier and am now a happy boy

[Tayne]

A friend who lives in the US told me their crash tests were significantly different to ours.

 

I had assumed that speeds would be slightly different, maybe some different gradation in the results, nothing major.

 

He assured me that they were very different.

 

 

He then sent me this photo to illustrate.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Wack]

No, I don't know what the CZ reg wagon driver was doing in a narrow lane, neither did the law that were parked the other side.

 

IMG_20190208_123820.jpg

 

But,it, and local traffic weren't going anywhere fast.

I saw one on a CZ plate on the smart motorway somewhere near the M54 exit Northbound , he was parked in one of the emergency refuge areas with all his cooking gear set up ready to go, looked like he was planning to be there a while

[Wack]

I may have posted this before but something reminded me of it

 

An experience I had with a Toyota main dealer around 1992

 

I rang the parts department

 

How many parts does a 1988 2.0 celica exhaust have

 

Answer , two

Great I've just had the back box done , can you order the front part and arrange fitting

 

A week later it arrives so I take it in sounding like a tank , wait in reception for an hour while they fit it,when it was ready I pay get in it start it up and , it sounds like a tank

 

Eh

What have you done to my car for the last hour

 

manager gets the fitter

I've replaced the front pipe

So why is it still blowing

Because the middle section has a hole in it

 

What middle section , I was told it's in 2 pieces

 

No it's 3 , I've replaced the front pipe

 

So hang on , you've taken the exhaust off and replaced the part that hasn't got a hole in it but put the part that has got a hole in back on.

 

At this point I looked at the manager who had his mouth wide open with a What The Fuck look on his face

 

Why did you do that

 

Because that's what it said on the job card , FFS!

 

They fitted it for free when they got the right part in and gave me trade discount on it so I saved a few quid

[Sheefag]

My home for the last few days. Only a small job but successful and should make walking much nicer !!

 

004.JPG

 

I now have a tap at the bottom of my leg to pee out of, actually quite convenient. but not permanent.

 

How long does it take to fill up?

 

[Pillock]

Decided to book a last minute weekend away.

 

Just got out the hot tub after getting mesmerised by the amount of stars you get when you drive four hours into nowhere.

[Mrcento]

Why not suggest that the rent start very low and ramps up over a couple of years, so you're balancing the risk as you improve the place. Perhaps with a deposit so they know you're serious.

 

I know who the previous occupier of the unit is, had a bit of a brainwave (or brainfart) and wondered if they actually own it (they just moved to a bigger premises down the road), i'm going to message him and see if he owns it (he probably didn't, was probably just a tenant), if so, i think cutting out the middle man and putting a proposal for his old unit to him would be more likely for a deal, particularly as i'd be zero threat to his business with what i have planned for it.

 

EDIT- He isn't. Happy to discuss the building itself with me, though. Shame, would have been good if i could have discussed it straight with the owner rather than an agent "recommending" nonsense.

[Wack]

Proper laugh out loud, speakers on

 

https://m.imgur.com/gallery/6sIlUtL

[loserone]

More importantly, from the comments:

 

https://i.imgur.com/YtWTcAw.gif

[Craig the Princess]

More importantly, from the comments:

 

https://i.imgur.com/YtWTcAw.gif

Look at that XR3i!!!

[Wack]

For those of you with Amazon prime

 

This weeks Grand Tour, about 1/3 of the show is about Jim Clark and his achievements and it's fascinating

[Noel Tidybeard]

At least they acknowledge your house might burn down with a friendly card20190205_183130.jpg

 

that needs sent to Big Clive for autopsy!

[purplebargeken]

Two things.

 

I spotted a couple of years old Range Rover thing with Mike Brewer Car Sales reg plate the other day. I just laughed and thought that it would be the first thing I would bin.

 

Secondly I have discovered that a Puffin chick is called a Puffling. I thought that was just ace.