What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[Guest Hooli]

My first Capri, a nice metallic gold (deffo NOT brown) and the pentagon island in Derby, beat everyone away from the light on a damp morning, then three times around and ended up facing the wrong way and had all the ‘slow’ cars parting like the Red Sea to go past me. That car taught me a hell of a lot.

 

I had a XR4i once. I was taking it to work for MOT welding one morning in the damp so it obviously got very sideways on every roundabout, shame I didn't notice the copper at the give way lines till I saw the flash of blue lights being me & out of the driver's window...

 

That was fun* as it wasn't insured, MOT'd or Taxed... Lucky I'd swapped it to my then gf's name so my DOC cover covered it & I was on the way to a garage (where I worked so it was* booked in for welding etc).

[robinmasters]

Granny double-team, in AS colours:

 

[PhilA]

When I had the 2.8 Granada estate I thought I’d have a bit of fun on a wet roundabout near home, it was on a dual carriageway and was deserted, early morning.

I joined the roundabout at speed in lane 2, flicked the back end out a bit around the roundabout and exited slightly sideways across the two lanes.

Turns out it wasn’t quite as deserted as I’d thought. Bloody police car coming the other way!

Luckily it was ‘words of advice’ and no more! Actually spoke more about old cars with the nice police man than anything else. Only time I’ve ever been pulled over that.

 

I was driving my Victor into town one wet afternoon- dual carriageway all the way in, dotted with roundabouts. One of the last roundabouts is a two-lane affair, with 2/3 of the road cambered in toward the centre of the roundabout and made from smooth new black asphalt, the outer 1/3 flat and made from tarmacadam with old worn-smooth hardcore in.

I was being followed by a riot van full of police for about 5 miles. The last roundabout was entered, I put my foot down just a shade too much about halfway round, one tyre span on the different asphalt, the back end let go and the car did a very rapid 270-degree spin leaving me past the exit, facing the wrong way round the roundabout.

I quickly gathered my wits, having thankfully not hit anything or anybody, exited the roundabout the way I had originally wanted to go. I drove a little ways down the road and then stopped to let the cops have a word with me. They didn't put lights on or nothing- no chance they didn't want to check things out though...

They were sitting in the van having a giggle, a couple got out, I got told that my reg had come back clean, everything was in order and to "drive more carefully, sir".

 

--Phil

[purplebargeken]

Fail! Having an 'explosive device' made of some entirely random wires, sticky tape and a mobile phone doesn't make you big or clever.

[Tamworthbay]

When I had the 2.8 Granada estate I thought I’d have a bit of fun on a wet roundabout near home, it was on a dual carriageway and was deserted, early morning.

I joined the roundabout at speed in lane 2, flicked the back end out a bit around the roundabout and exited slightly sideways across the two lanes.

Turns out it wasn’t quite as deserted as I’d thought. Bloody police car coming the other way!

Luckily it was ‘words of advice’ and no more! Actually spoke more about old cars with the nice police man than anything else. Only time I’ve ever been pulled over that.

Ah, the benefit of age, I used to slide the MGB GT I had as a daily, until about fours years ago, around one particular roundabout routinely in the winter until one day when plod was sat there as I exited it sideways. He followed me and 100yds later pulled me over. I was expecting the ‘conversation’ like when I was a teenager, but no, they were just checking I was ok after having ‘a moment’. The guy was very nice and was said how ‘ these old cars can catch you out can’t they, nothing you can do but you handled it very well, just take care as you must be a bit shaken’. To which I replied the obvious ‘no idea what happened occifer it just happened so fast, yes I am a bit shaken, thanks for you concern’ and then drove off pissing myself laughing.

[danthecapriman]

Ah, the benefit of age, I used to slide the MGB GT I had as a daily, until about fours years ago, around one particular roundabout routinely in the winter until one day when plod was sat there as I exited it sideways. He followed me and 100yds later pulled me over. I was expecting the ‘conversation’ like when I was a teenager, but no, they were just checking I was ok after having ‘a moment’. The guy was very nice and was said how ‘ these old cars can catch you out can’t they, nothing you can do but you handled it very well, just take care as you must be a bit shaken’. To which I replied the obvious ‘no idea what happened occifer it just happened so fast, yes I am a bit shaken, thanks for you concern’ and then drove off pissing myself laughing.

Funniest police moment I’ve ever had was just after doing the wedding for a work mate in my Yank. I dropped them off at their reception/party thing at Marwell zoo and on leaving decided to go the back way home instead of via the M27 etc.

They were all tiny country B roads so you can imagine how out of place the huge bright green Mercury must’ve looked! I went around a bend and with the car making that awesome tyre squealing sound like you used to hear on the old TV programs from the 70’s and bouncing around like old yanks do and just around the bend was a traffic police car in a lay-by, two coppers talking to some guy walking his dog.

All 3 of them stopped, and just watched the Mercury burble and bounce past! The looks on their faces was hilarious! It must’ve been the absolute last thing you’d ever have expected to see in that particular place.

[DVee8]

[Jazoli]

 

Looks about right to me.

[richardmorris]

New battery time. The Volvo had a few issues with starting and then wouldn't hold a charge at all  and wasn't running well (some nice Merc techs had to give me a bump to get me home on Monday) so I spent over 20% of the cars cost on a new battery

 

 

Now it's back to its  tyre-shredding ways. Guess it's a keeper now, so I think more spending will be done.

I recommend Tayna too.

[cobblers]

Yep, me too. Way cheaper than anywhere else and the battery came really well packed. 

[danthecapriman]

Looks about right to me.

I was about to say the very same!

[SierraMikeHotel]

Granny double-team, in AS colours:

 

IMG_20190206_121306.jpg

A lot of modern cars, including mine, look better as an estate. A lot of older cars look better as a saloon (because the estate was a bit of an afterthought).

 

I'm going to vote for the Granny, and the Cortina of the same era, as being among the first mainstream cars where the estate version was a real looker.

 

For the record I love estate cars, ever since I accidentally bought a BX estate. They look terrible, because afterthought, but they work much better than the hatch as a usable vehicle.

 

Volvo is the exception of course. Volvo estates were always better than their saloons.

[Cavcraft]

Just been to see Brian Blessed at a local theatre. Had to leave early sadly so missed the last half hour, but what a great night. The bloke is a very entertaining lunatic.

[New POD]

Yeah. Fuck you twat..

[The Moog]

Just been to see Brian Blessed at a local theatre. Had to leave early sadly so missed the last half hour, but what a great night. The bloke is a very entertaining lunatic.

Saw him last year for my 40th. He is properly mad.

 

Not many left like him - proper liar as well with it, but still quite funny:-)

[STUNO]

My home for the last few days. Only a small job but successful and should make walking much nicer !!

 

 

I now have a tap at the bottom of my leg to pee out of, actually quite convenient. but not permanent.

 

 

[New POD]

Just been to see Brian Blessed at a local theatre. Had to leave early sadly so missed the last half hour, but what a great night. The bloke is a very entertaining lunatic.

You know your shit jokes? I don't get this one. Can someone explain the punch line?

[Wack]

Land Rover no longer producing the defender , somebody made a Suzuki version

 

https://mikeshouts.com/damd-suzuki-jimny-land-rover-defender-kit/

[JeeExEll]

My home for the last few days. Only a small job but successful and should make walking much nicer !!

 

004.JPG

 

I now have a tap at the bottom of my leg to pee out of, actually quite convenient. but not permanent.

Get well soon Stuno.

Spot the unintentional 'Y THO' thread pic content.

Y THO? Wat's all this stuff for??

[John F]

You know your shit jokes? I don't get this one. Can someone explain the punch line?

 

I was thinking the same thing

[dozeydustman]

Offered a load of stuff on various giving away websites. One lady asked for 8 different things.

 

She came round with these for me.

 

 

I'll have to hide them from the mrs and madam because they'll be inhaled within seconds of being spotted.

[twosmoke300]

The crystal meth of choccies !

[mrbenn]

Solution? Get them eaten before they even know the chocs are on the premises!

[DeeJay]

My home for the last few days. Only a small job but successful and should make walking much nicer !!

 

004.JPG

 

I now have a tap at the bottom of my leg to pee out of, actually quite convenient. but not permanent.

Penis extension?

[Lord Sterling]

You know the picture going round of the Megane convertible with a Merc grille grafted on?

I BLOODY SPOTTED IT, near my mates house in Cheetham Hill, the areshole of Manchester (don't worry he's moving soon).

 

 

Truly a sight to behold.

 

[STUNO]

Penis extension?

 

Not required.

 

 

 

But thanks for enquiring

[Mrcento]

Decided to fire off an email about an old garage unit to see if they'd be open to reducing rent in return for refurbing the interior....

 

I'm expecting a big fat no, because any unit you can get a car in = name your own price and add some zeros to the end, but it's been vacant a few months now and is as well used as an ex commercial garage can be, (so might be attractive to the owner that not only will the unit be in use and get rent, but will be well looked after and returned in a better condition than initially rented out as = more valuable in future for another tenant if the time comes) but hell....  The grin will be massive if i can pull it off!

[Kiltox]

As a “bastard landlord” id welcome the above tbh

[Mrcento]

As a “bastard landlord” id welcome the above tbh

 

Same, if the shoe was on the other foot and i had a unit to let out, i'd rather be getting less rent (but at least a guaranteed income from it every month), value being added to the property and it becoming more attractive long term than sit and hold out for the full whack for an unspecified amount of months, earning nothing at all in between times and still having a property at the end of that still worth the same (or less).

 

Even if they agree, i doubt they'll be willing to take much off so still might not be viable but still i reckon it's a fair proposal. The market here is one i can't get my head around, the culture seems to be whatever price it's up for is what you pay, not a penny less. If that means the property sits empty for 3-4 years, then empty it will sit without a single reduction in the advertised rent price in the hope some punter will be desperate and pay full whack eventually. There's genuinely north of 20 units up for rent right now local to me, some of them have been unoccupied since 2009! You'd think at some point the owners would hit the "something's better than nothing" stage, but nope.

[New POD]

Same, if the shoe was on the other foot and i had a unit to let out, i'd rather be getting less rent (but at least a guaranteed income from it every month), value being added to the property and it becoming more attractive long term than sit and hold out for the full whack for an unspecified amount of months, earning nothing at all in between times and still having a property at the end of that still worth the same (or less).

 

Even if they agree, i doubt they'll be willing to take much off so still might not be viable but still i reckon it's a fair proposal. The market here is one i can't get my head around, the culture seems to be whatever price it's up for is what you pay, not a penny less. If that means the property sits empty for 3-4 years, then empty it will sit without a single reduction in the advertised rent price in the hope some punter will be desperate and pay full whack eventually. There's genuinely north of 20 units up for rent right now local to me, some of them have been unoccupied since 2009! You'd think at some point the owners would hit the "something's better than nothing" stage, but nope.

In Merseyside I know of one large mafia like family who own lots of properties.

 

My understanding is that they'd rather keep rents high, and have a few empty, than allow one tenant to think they could be getting a better deal.

 

I'd quite like to see all rent agreements published by the land registry like sales.