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Sloth in a bowl

Drive away for £200, the cheapest of cheap shite thread

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Hate something, change something, hate something change something make something betterrrrrrrr.

Ah, Honda advertising,  Probably better than Nathan’s here, it was all going so well, a cheap driveable Civic with a slightly slippy clutch if you boot it but ready to go for a colossal £200.

It all goes wrong with the last sentence.  No foreigners or cold callers...does that mean we need to present our ancestry DNA review to show our heritage?  What percentage of Brit would I need to be do we think?  Be a shame to miss out on account of an ancestor thirty generations back being Mongolian or whatever.

The irony is the Manuel gearbox,  that’s Spanish for starters

https://www.gumtree.com/p/honda/51-plate-honda-civic-1.4-petrol-manuel-5-door/1355385552

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“S” on the other hand makes it simple.  Based in South Ayrshire, S wishes to spread some Japanese love bukkake style by giving us an opportunity to spaff ourselves senseless over this perky little oriental number.  

https://www.gumtree.com/p/toyota/toyota-yaris/1354359880

Short MOT, blowy exhaust and a squidgy tyre come as standard but technically you can drive it away for less than £200 on your way to the part worn tyre place via Halfords for some gun gum

 

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Two....hundred.....pounds.  The seats alone are surely worth that.  

https://www.gumtree.com/p/rover/rover-75-connisure-/1355985663

Get the Gunson Ezybleed out of the back of the garage and get wafting.  That is provided the slave cylinder isn’t fucked and Ronald is trying to sell us a pup.

 

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Right last one.  Slightly oddly proportioned yet somehow appealing from certain angles.  Oh hang on, I was thinking of Amy Schumer.

So Miss American Pie, here’s a Chevy you can drive to the levee to monitor hydration levels with a number of friends and picnic hampers and shit like that.  Make a day of it or something.  Yes, you could take some whisky and rye but remember you’re driving, best stick to Vimto...

https://www.gumtree.com/p/chevrolet/cheap-car-chevrolet-tacuma-with-mot-until-feb-2020-£200-working-conditions/1356594667

 

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Goodness me Chloe, with this Mark 3 Golf for £200 you are really spoiling us!

I mean just look at it.  11 months MOT, relatively straight, I reckon an afternoon with a clay bar and other shiz would have this looking pretty smart.  Alloy wheels, BRG, and a personalised number plate if your initials happen to be DTG.  Or your name or surname is DTG in which case have a word with your parents about dyslexia....

https://www.gumtree.com/p/volkswagen/11-months-mot-1997-vw-golf/1356046617

But of course there is always a catch isn’t there?  It would seem a rear door no longer opens after Chloe drove into some trolleys.  However they were Sainsbury’s trolleys so a slightly better quality of damage than you’d get from Asda.  Door not opening is probably related to the handle being snapped off so budget for a new one of those but otherwise this is a reasonable way to tootle around for pennies.

 

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Remember the old advert for Trio biscuits?  TRIO! TRIIIIII-O! I want a Trio and i want one now!  They never did swap that for Clio and use it in Renault ads did they?

Anyway....March 2000.  Parky was a promising young exec with the world at his feet and an urge to buy a new car.  My choices were Fiesta Zetec  or Clio MTV.  I went with Fiesta but always regretted not getting the superior stereo that Renault offered, favouring the 80bhp from Ford over the 65bhp from the Renault. Anyway a chance to relive my incorrect decision appears in the form of Nikki from Ackworth who knows that Renault engines last forever if looked after.  Yes, I laughed too.  Less va va voom, more putt putt boom.

https://www.gumtree.com/p/renault/w-reg-renault-clio/1356611349

 

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On 10/2/2019 at 8:23 AM, Snipes said:

Fuck that (or "duck hat") as autocorrect would have it. My 1.6 in the similar C4 feels barely adequate, despite claiming a headline grabbing 90hp!

I had a 307 SW with a 2.0 hdi 90 and found it perfectly fine but I think the 2.0 had a bit more torque than the 1.6. Wife currently has a 206 SW with the 1.4 hdi engine and it's fine. Takes a bit of stirring up but no inadequacy overall considering its only got 70bhp. When considering the early 1.4 engines didn't have any crap like coded injectors,dpf, variable vane turbo and all that crap it's worth a giggle for a couple hundred. Ours is currently averaging mid to high 50s locally and mid 60s at 75 on a run. 30 quid a year road tax too. Don't think there's much weight difference between a 206 estate and a 307 hatchback

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23 hours ago, Parky said:

“S” on the other hand makes it simple.  Based in South Ayrshire, S wishes to spread some Japanese love bukkake style by giving us an opportunity to spaff ourselves senseless over this perky little oriental number.  

https://www.gumtree.com/p/toyota/toyota-yaris/1354359880

Short MOT, blowy exhaust and a squidgy tyre come as standard but technically you can drive it away for less than £200 on your way to the part worn tyre place via Halfords for some gun gum

 

907EC682-C30F-4884-A7B8-F0A1BAC15DA3.png

@big_al_granvia You said you wanted a Yaris and this is local.

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10 hours ago, Parky said:

Goodness me Chloe, with this Mark 3 Golf for £200 you are really spoiling us!

I mean just look at it.  11 months MOT, relatively straight, I reckon an afternoon with a clay bar and other shiz would have this looking pretty smart.  Alloy wheels, BRG, and a personalised number plate if your initials happen to be DTG.  Or your name or surname is DTG in which case have a word with your parents about dyslexia....

https://www.gumtree.com/p/volkswagen/11-months-mot-1997-vw-golf/1356046617

But of course there is always a catch isn’t there?  It would seem a rear door no longer opens after Chloe drove into some trolleys.  However they were Sainsbury’s trolleys so a slightly better quality of damage than you’d get from Asda.  Door not opening is probably related to the handle being snapped off so budget for a new one of those but otherwise this is a reasonable way to tootle around for pennies.

 

0C792A8E-12D4-46F2-A9B4-AD5D94CCB72B.jpeg

A0FB49AB-5235-487F-8BEE-E097F28A4611.png

This has a similar numberplate to my old Golf estate! 

 

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3 hours ago, busmansholiday said:

https://www.autotrader.co.uk/classified/advert/201910133266008?

150 quid, months MoT, how difficult (!) is an ideling issue and no fans at this price ( he says, running away).

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Just drive it really fast so it doesn't have time to idle... And speed equals more cold air, was fucking freezing today, you'll get it home so you can have a little cry

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