First to see won't buy. Your tales of making your excuses and leaving from viewing a car

[warren t claim]

I'm sure many of us have stories of when we've turned up holding the folding to audition a motor we fancy buying only to back out and bail out of there ASAP.

I'll start the ball rolling.

IIRC this dates from mid 2012. 

I'd just sold my W124 for export and had cash burning a hole in my pocket. I'd just missed out on a 2.0 Alfa 156 in a nice spec with all the leather. To my surprise, a few days later I see it up for sale again. Assuming that was due to another buyer not being able to find the cash, I phone the seller up and agree to go and vue the car in Huyton, the other side of Merseyside. I'm not sure if I mentioned this viewing on here or over on Facebook, but I do remember @Cavcraft messaging me to say that if I don't fancy the Alfa when I see it could I please backheel it down to him as long as it's a manual and not a Sillyspeed auto.

I head over to Huyton with your glorious leader @Minimad5. I'm not 100% sure but I think we may have driven over there in his Pug 309. I'd arranged with the vendor to phone him when we'd arrived at Huyton town centre for the address to meet Steve, the 156 vendor. Once there I phone Steve only to have his phone answered by a woman who claimed to have no knowledge of who Steve is. I ask this lady if she's sure as Steve had this number on an advert on Gumtree for a car he's selling but she's still adamant that there's no Steve. 

As we're wondering what the fuck is going on my phone rings. It's Steve and he apologises for the last call saying he "owes some lads some money" and he thought I was one of them! Steve then gives us his address so we head over. We turn up at his house, a tidy newish build semi with the 156 parked on the drive on the Brookside type estate he lives on and get greeted by Steve. Things are looking up. The Alfa looks to be in great condition with the full oxblood leather interior but more importantly, a manual box. 

Steve tells us that he had only just got the 156 after swapping a V6 Vectra B for it but after a couple of days decided that he's a V6 man and doesn't want a four cylinder Alfa Romeo. Fair enough I suppose. We all hop in and go for a test drive. Steve tells us that the 156 does smoke for a minute on start up but clears soon. After a few second on the starter the 156 springs into life in a cloud of oil smoke and we head off. In all fairness, the smoking stops soon so we enjoy the drive. Steve then says "Do you two lads enjoy the coke then?". We both deny any knowledge of such Class A substance to which Steve replies, "Yeah I know, it's not as good as it used to be is it?"

A mile or so down the road the 156 cuts out and rolls to a stop. I'm sure that it has run out of fuel but Steve insists that it hasn't as he only just put a fiver of petrol in it two days ago. Both myself and @Minimad5 crawl under the back of the Alfa and tap the fuel tank. It sounds about as hollow and empty as the promises I made to any single lady that crossed my path in the years between 1989 and 1999.  

Wondering how the fuck we are going to get back Steve tells us that he's a bus driver and flags down a passing bus telling us that he'll be back soon with a can of unleaded leaving @Minimad5 and myself with the stricken Alfa. Time to take the chance for us to discuss a few facts. Firstly, it's abundantly clear that Steve isn't just skint, he's thrashed the living fuck out of this 156 from cold. Secondly, we find it somewhat worrying that such a massive cokehead like Steve drives a bus taking kids to school! 

Ten minutes later Steve returns in the same bus he flagged down carrying a petrol can containing another £5 of petrol. And yes, we were also wondering what the passengers on that bus must be thinking too! After much rocking and nearly burning out the starter motor, the 156 fires into life triggering the sort of reaction from Steve normally only seen on the faces of lottery winners! We make it back just as Steve gets a text from someone offering to swap their V6 VW Bora for the fucked 156. We advise Steve to bite the Vw owners hand off before fucking off as sharpish as possible!

[warren t claim]

Can anyone top that?

[Fraz]

Many years ago when I was young and innocent I wanted a Nissan 200sx. Straight to the yellow paper and found a “cracker” in paisley. Ferguslie Park for those in the know. 
 

Unfortunately I wasn’t in the know as Feegie Park as it’s affectionately known isn’t the most inspiring place to live. 
 

So we then up and drive into what I can only desire as Bosnia with sports wear. We must have passed a couple of burnt out cars and eventually happened upon the address given. 
 

To be met with a Nissan 200sx shaped blob of rust parked in a garden on a council house. The grass was almsot as tall as the roof and a couple of I assume broken washing machines and cookers were fetching garden ornaments. 
 

Just as we were deciding to leave an incredibly drunk man exited the house and spoke with us about his beloved Nissan 200sx which needed “abit” of work. 
 

He then proceeded to start it and immediately red line it, dumping the incredibly loud dump valve numerous times. 
 

To be honest it sounded awesome but we “had another car to look at” and left before the car we arrived in was stolen. 
 

 

[Fraz]

@dome - May have some better memories of us looking at dodgy cars over the years 

[Spiny Norman]

I've walked away from a few ill-described snotters in my time but only once did I turn tail and GTF.

I'd spotted what I consider to be my perfect spec of X300 Jag XJ6 with an all black interior, black leather wheel and black wood, none of the usual hateful (in my eyes) beige leather with Cheshire orange wood trim for sale in allegedly excellent condition with lots of recent work done so I hot footed it across to an address  in Glasgow's southside. This was before the days of satnav so I was going oldschool with directions given by the seller and an old A-Z.
It was a turning off a  street I knew well enough but I was on unfamiliar ground, I eventualy arrived at a tall fence with steel gates on it and got out the car and started making my way towards the locked gate. I could see the Jag in the distance, and it looked good. What I also started to notice were more large occupied caravans that I was expecting to see in what I'd assumed was a works yard.....

The penny suddenly dropped just as a collection of people appeared and two of them started walking towards he gate, followed by a couple of dags....

For some reason I quickly decided I didn't really want a Jag after all and left the premises.

[dome]

48 minutes ago, Fraz said:

@dome - May have some better memories of us looking at dodgy cars over the years 

I'm struggling to think of the wrecks we didn't buy to be honest. I'll need to come back to this one🤔

[Missy Charm]

My mum takes the prize here, although she didn't actually go to look at the car.  

Back in the seventies, living in North London and in need of a cheap Yarmouth Bloater, my mother got hold of the local rag and perused the classifieds.  Something cheap, probably a Mini as they were her bag before she could afford Fiestas, caught her eye and she got on the blower.  It was answered, to her surprise, by an East End villain.  He perked up when he realized there was a female on the other end and commenced the usual braggadocio.  My mum asked the man about the car, to which he replied:

'Good little motor, it's my bird's, but there's one thing wrong with it'

'What?' asked my mum.

'Well I took it out for a spin myself this morning and happened to drive past this Charlie 'Arstard who's been giving me gyp.  He sees it's me then quick as a flash he's pulled out a shooter and fired off a round.  I was alright but there's a bullet hole in the car!  You don't mind that, do you...'  

Never has a telephone been hung up so quickly! 

[Bren]

Prior to buying the insignia I spied an E61 530d on marketplace. Considering somebody wanted to sell it was getting to the stage whereby Doris Stokes would have stuggled to make contact.

Eventually I was given directions where the car "was". On the outskirts of Flixton - the exact postocode looked like a travellers abode with lots of dead motor vehicles around the property.

A car pulled up and the driver asked me if " he" had turned up - I replied in the negative. He then walked around wife's mondeo and remarked how nice it was - he reminded me of the jawa that caressed Luke's landspeeder in Star Wars. He then regaled me with a tale of getting arrested after hiring one and not taking it back.

After another twenty minutes I exited stage left - the whole thing was dodgier than a week old vindaloo. I made my excuses and left. 

As I headed back towards Warrington I passed the car which was heading the other way - it  looked ok but I had seen enough thank you very much.

[Split_Pin]

In 2019 I was looking for a Mini for my wife so @320touring and I went to this large house on its own just outside Airdrie. A really dodgy looking guy, 30s, in a tracksuit came out to unlock the 06 plate R56. 

The whole place had the air of unexplained wealth. 320T concluded the car was tarted up scrap and we didn't want to start it as it had zero oil or coolant. 

From that day on I've set my horses for home before viewing a car.

The year before, this time in Airdrie in a big estate just off to the left of Carlisle Road I went to view an MG ZT. As I walked along the street, I realised it was an total bombsite with a lot of doddery looking guys old before their years.  The seller was actually sound although completely oblivious to the ruined interior and filthy exterior of his car. As we approached the junction with Carlisle Road, a gang of neds, one blood-soaked and dragging a definitely broken leg and shouting 'MON THEN!!'  into the distance, were trying to get the stationery drivers to call an ambulance.

When we returned and I had made my excuses and was walking back to my car, 2 doddery guys carrying microwave meals were stotting along the pavement. Out of nowhere a red Astra bowls up, right into the back of one of them before the driver sternly tells him to 'Git in', which he complied with.

 

[GeordieInExile]

I have genuinely never done this. Even when the name on the V5 was different from the lad I bought it from, and it turned out that the name was actually that of a very dodgy council estate gangster. Even when that car had a bent back door frame and a missing radio. 

I still made a profit on it when I (very quickly) sold it, as well. 

[Wibble]

3 hours ago, Fraz said:

Many years ago when I was young and innocent I wanted a Nissan 200sx. Straight to the yellow paper and found a “cracker” in paisley. Ferguslie Park for those in the know. 
 

Unfortunately I wasn’t in the know as Feegie Park as it’s affectionately known isn’t the most inspiring place to live. 
 

So we then up and drive into what I can only desire as Bosnia with sports wear. We must have passed a couple of burnt out cars and eventually happened upon the address given. 
 

To be met with a Nissan 200sx shaped blob of rust parked in a garden on a council house. The grass was almsot as tall as the roof and a couple of I assume broken washing machines and cookers were fetching garden ornaments. 
 

Just as we were deciding to leave an incredibly drunk man exited the house and spoke with us about his beloved Nissan 200sx which needed “abit” of work. 
 

He then proceeded to start it and immediately red line it, dumping the incredibly loud dump valve numerous times. 
 

To be honest it sounded awesome but we “had another car to look at” and left before the car we arrived in was stolen. 
 

 

As soon as you said Ferguslie Park I was thinking, oh fuck.

[DavieW]

Nothing as dramatic as earlier posts.

They say never view a car at night. I went to see a 60s Mini with sliding windows probably earlyn90s in Arbroath. Parked behind it and my headlights shone down the side of the car which looked  like corrugated iron. Turned round and went home. Never even knocked on the sellers door. 

[New POD]

Classic original shit minis

Went on the bus to look at a mini in Handsworth. 12 month MOT, when I was a student. Looking over it, I noticed lots of reasons why it shouldn't have an MOT. Bald tyres being the obvious one. Then I spotted an almost identical mini down the street. I asked, "Your neighbour likes minis too then?" " No, that me woman's" 

Given that it was back when the MOT didn't involve checking the vin plate or engine number, I asked innocently. "So, I'm thinking that only one of these cars has had MOT recently, and only the reg plate on this one has been near a garage, am.i right? Because I'd be wanting to put it in for another MOT before i buy it"

The guy, a Rastafarian went off his rocker at the suggestion, that he might be anything other than honest. I took that as a Yes and no fucking way, respectively, and fucked off sharpish. 

Later in the day I looked at a mini, in Balsall heath, being sold by two Asian lads with a massive German Shepherd. I lifted up the carpet under the seat, and there was a square piece of 10 mm thick steel tack welded in the corners to the floor.  About 15 cm square.  I'd been with them for 5 mins, and walked back to New Street station and got a train to Coventry.  

Some 25 years later, I got a mate to drive me to a nice village outside Derby, to look at a mini, that had been advertised on the Derbyshire mini owners forum/club. 

Lad of about 20 selling it. Almost Perfect car. Offered the asking price, and I get £2k out of my bag in cash.  I'll take it now then. 

No, he wouldn't do that. Needs it to get to work tomorrow.

Get a taxi, or the bus says my mate. 

Needs to find a replacement first. 

I get the £2k and put it on the bonnet. It's now or never.

He didn't take the money. 

My mate reckoned, the fact that I was happy to pay the asking price, made him think he could get more. 

A few weeks later I spotted he was trying to sell it again, for £2500.  And then he dropped the price over the next 2 months to £1800. 

[Semi-C]

I reckon this is up there as one of my favourite refusals.

An ebay listing for an mot-less 1976 1600 L Cortina estate and some genuine sounding correspondence with the seller was enough to convince me that the only sensible thing to do was buy a 1 way train ticket from Elmswell to Seaham, swap £600 for it and drive back home.

This flawless plan was flawless until the moment I first set eyes on the car.

Of course it was shitter than expected, I expected that, but it was almost too shit to be the same car from the photos and some/most of the sellers descriptions appeared to be Daily Telegraph crossword clues. "Only welded once" translated to "in one continuous tapestry of steel quadrilaterals from slam panel to rear valence". It took the short but eventful test drive to decide I would have to make other arrangements on how I would get home.

In defence of the seller, he was very apologetic about the misunderstanding of expectations, he kindly drove me back to the station and even furnished me with a XXL, football manager style coat for my wait at the station. The single return ticket was £165 (which was some £20 more expensive than a return ticket would have been in the first place!) and it didn't take long for two terrifying looking passengers in Newcastle football shirts to make their dislike of me obvious. I couldn't figure out the catalyst for their threatening behaviour, consciously offending scary bastards isn't usually how I negotiate train travel, and then I realised the sleeping bag I was wearing was Sunderland AFC flavour. A relocation to a different carriage and a stealthy abandoning of the coat settled my nerves and we were soon at Darlington for a change of chrain...

One suicide and a 3 hour delay later I was back rolling homewards, so late though that I would be stuck at Peterborough for some ridiculous amount of time. Thankfully the ever amazing Mrs-C elected to retrieve me from Peterbro and end this ultimately fruitless day out.

Lessons learned: don't be an optimistic miser, always buy a return ticket, 2+ hour train delays are refundable, fuck football. 

[Split_Pin]

It was 2009 and I had spotted a lovely black Astra Coupe Turbo, 40,000 miles, full factory Irmscher bodykit and oxblood leather interior advertised via the Astra Owners Club Forum. It was and still is one of my dream cars (my example at the time was silver with black leather). I live in Central Scotland and had provisionally agreed to buy the car, which was in Northampton. The car looked mint from all the photos he had sent me and from the description it sounded perfect. 

I got a bankers draft (bank transfers didnt seem to be the dine thing back then) hired a Nissan Note and my then girlfriend (she's now my wife!) schlepped all the way down there.

The property was a very fancy new build gated apartment complex and the small young man who greeted us, whilst pleasant enough, was clearly a wee spoiled rich kid.

Anyway, immediately things were not good. It was billowing white smoke, the radiator fan was cutting in and out every 5 seconds and it had a huge oil leak from the rocker cover. I took a test drive and there was absolutely no boost and it drove like my 2 litre Vectra. When I commented on the issues he insisted there was nothing wrong with the car but almost in the same sentence, the said he "wasn't an engines man". He remained pleasant although I can't help thinking that his 'disappointment' was fake.

Thankfully I hadn't paid a deposit and as soon as I left, he started sending me quite rude text messages saying I was never serious about the car. Remember I said he was small, what a coward. I wanted to go back and sort him out because I'd burst my arse to get there but my missus just wanted to get back. He continued to protest for weeks afterwards. Another Astra Owners Club member bought the car and immediately had issues with it.

That club was full of toxic arseholes thinking back.

[IronStar]

I had an itch to buy a car again not much before I joined on here.

A black, ph1 Safrane appeared on the FB Marketplace. It was advertised on multiple places, price was all over the place, going from 1750 to 550, depending on where the guy was trying to sell. That was fishy, I reckoned that guy was a chancer and took it in a swap, but alas, I asked a friend to send him a lowball offer to see if he bites. He comes back with a price a bit over a lowball, and alarm bells are now really ringing. I take another very good look at the photos, but other than ridiculously shit interior photos, nothing seems amiss. I call a guy, ask details, and arrange a meeting. Car is supposedly fine but, LPG test has expired, registration has expired, has no rust, and is running fine. Has the bills for a recent service. Alright, are you sure mate? I live 2 hours away, and if I drive all the way there not to buy it I will be very mad at you. Yeah mate, it’s fine. Guy sounded honest enough over the phone, and I go to take a look.

I’m greeted by a bit dodgy looking bloke in his 50s, with immaculate from the outside Safrane parked in front of his place. Fine, I bought cars from dodgy blokes before, if the car is fi…why are the plates on the car different than the photos? It’s the same car, but… Dodgy bloke is driving it round the village with wrong plates off of another car, real plates in the trunk. Dodgy bloke doing dodgy bloke business, fine, nevermind, I may or may not have done something similar to transport a car once. I open the door, and am greeted with the interior with probably every bit of trim broken, cracked or hanging. Did I not fucking ask if it’s good inside, says I? Yeah, it’s all there just clips broken, honest m9.

I proceed to start the car and I’m greeted by immobilizer acting up, and after I get around that, ungodly racket of crank pulley that disintegrated. The fuck is this? Oh that broke the other day. I’m doing a once over and car shuts off. Out of fuel. Both fuels. Right, I’m already there, price is low enough, and seller is at this point painfully aware that it’s not shifting at the price he wanted but is willing to go lower, let’s give it a final chance. We jump into my car, put 5L in a jerrycan and try again. Cranking….cranking…cranking….click. Click. Click. Click. Starter motor packed up.

Dodgy bloke didn’t expect it’s this fucked, and seems that someone outdodged him. He’s really apologetic now, and expecting to be decked any moment now for wasting my time and fuel. I’m really not into those things. How much would you offer m9? Scrap value. Yeah, I’d like a bit more, I’ll fix this and give you a call. GLWS, says I and get into a car and fuck off before I insist on scrap -50 for wasting my time. 

Being a glutton for pain, that week I call another dude selling Safrane. This guy is asking for 1000, firm. I give him a call and guy is actually a fan of the car, he’s selling because he’s buying another one, 2.5 instead of this one. Car looks amazing in the photos, top trim, every option checked. Is the car ok, I already viewed one this week and it was shit? I CBA to spend time looking at a shitter. There’s a clonk from the front suspension, some of the things on electric drivers seat are not working and an indicator is missing. Okay, doesn’t sound too bad, let’s check it on Saturday.

I arrive in 159, and guy’s face goes from  to  after seeing the car, realizing I probably have a higher baseline for how is car supposed to look like and the condition I’m willing to accept. Where’s the Safrane? Right around the corner, but it’s not as nice as your 159.

What he didn’t mention, from what I can remember, is - paint is faded, central locking is borked, one of the power windows is not windowing, starter lock broke and now has a button, driver’s seat frame is broken, both front indicators are missing, clonk from the suspension is not one but probably 5 different things, aircon sensor one or the other is fucked so it’s not displaying target temperature, both front door cards are broken and closing doors is a roulette will the disintegrate or not. There’s rust creeping all over the place. Photos are from 7 years ago when he bought the fucker. Engine and autobox were healthy though. 

What do you think?
That it’s fucked way more than you told me. 
Yeah, but it’s healthy  mechanically isn’t it?
Other than the clonking suspension, broken rev counter, rusty sil….
I mean engine and gearbox! 
Yeah maybe. 
So, are you buying it? 
For 400, yes. 
I’m not going under 950. 
😄😄😄😄😄 good luck.

What was supposed to be a quick talk after a test drive turned into a two hour car talk session though, so not all was negative that day. Despite being completely delusional about the value of his car, he seemed like a decent dude.

A week passes, dodgy bloke with Safrane #1 sent me a message that starter was broken, he fixed it, and would I be willing to take another look at the car. Needless to say I politely declined.

A month passes and nice guy with Safrane #2 sends me a message asking if I’d be willing to swap my beloved and usually no expense spared maintained 156 we mentioned whilst talking about cars for his Safrane. I may or may not have laughed about the cheeky offer, and obviously politely declined.

I still don’t have a Safrane, but I’d like one. Neither car sold to this day. 
 

EDIT: Just checked, Safrane 2 is now 800 with the following description:

"Speed sensor, idle air control valve, temperature sensor, hood cable lever, turn signals, left shock absorber mount or stabilizer—something is rattling, right CV joint boot, driver’s seat leather, steering wheel leather, steering rack leaking oil, bodywork issues in 5-6 spots, hood and rear left fender scratched, some plastic parts around the engine, suspension needs checking, rear muffler leaking. These are the issues. New battery, refurbished alternator, engine and transmission indestructible. I kindly ask potential buyers to carefully read, calculate, and consider before contacting. The price is non-negotiable."

At least the description is accurate now. Still delusional with the price though. 

[EyesWeldedShut]

2 hours ago, Semi-C said:

Lessons learned: don't be an optimistic miser, always buy a return ticket, 2+ hour train delays are refundable, fuck football. 

2004 - Trained up from Devon to Hull on a Saturday to look at a Ford Cargo horsebox. Description sounded ideal plus it had a full 12 months plate on it. Seller came across as the slightly batty, horsey type lady. Box sounded good too.

When we got there the cab floor/mountings were absolutely rotten - I did think that if you hinged it forward hard enough it'd just drop onto the ground. I was feckin' livid and stood there making gurning faces rather than launching into a stream of Scottish curses (my missus was trying not to piss herself laughing at this as she knew I was on the verge of an apoplectic heart attack). 
The seller was as mad as a box of frogs and had absolutely no mechanical or automotive clues. She had (to be fair) based all her description on what her 'lorry man' had told her but, to this day, I have no idea how the hell he managed to get it plated. Mechanically the rest of it was OK but the horse bit needed a new floor and some tlc - she'd been upfront in the ad about that , the price reflected that but it's also a deal breaker for a lot of possible purchasers.

We only had single tickets and it was also too late to get a train back without a night in Hull or Manchester but we started making excuses to leave. The seller then started some reverse haggling that didn't quite get so low that she'd actually pay us to take it off her hands but almost - she just wanted shot of the thing.

So we took the lorry.
Only broke down once on the trip back(Taunton Dene services are beautiful at 3am) and it got fairly swiftly bridged for parts well before the next plating. I lost a few bob on the trip but, in hindsight, probably worth it for the whole Hull Experience - we still laugh about it - the wife much more than me.

Definitely an Optimistic Miser scenario - so, yes, buy that return ticket plus timetable the return.

[Missy Charm]

15 hours ago, DavieW said:

Nothing as dramatic as earlier posts.

They say never view a car at night. I went to see a 60s Mini with sliding windows probably earlyn90s in Arbroath. Parked behind it and my headlights shone down the side of the car which looked  like corrugated iron. Turned round and went home. Never even knocked on the sellers door. 

Some of those early Minis really were junkers...  

[DSdriver]

Went to look at a CX a long time ago, it said in the ad that it was green so I sort of expected a nice subtle shade of forest green. But when the guy opened the garage door it was a bright metalic emerald green which left me speechless. The guy said well it did say green in the ad to which I replied Yeah but not THAT green!

[eddyramrod]

I've always wanted to be the actual "first to see" person, just to walk away to spite the advertiser.  The whole phrase annoys me.

[High Jetter]

1 minute ago, eddyramrod said:

I've always wanted to be the actual "first to see" person, just to walk away to spite the advertiser.  The whole phrase annoys me.

Yup, surely it's been seen before?

[big_al_granvia]

Went with flat4 to look at a diesel elgand in linwood, oldish but said it's solid etc, I got underneath and bashed my head on a chassis outrigger, my bonce won as the metal crusted away. Few gentle touches revealed steel like tinfoil. Gets up, right Mrs coffee time. Gets in Volvo and.ducks off. The other side was just as rotten

[Jazoli]

22 hours ago, Fraz said:

Many years ago when I was young and innocent I wanted a Nissan 200sx. Straight to the yellow paper and found a “cracker” in paisley. Ferguslie Park for those in the know. 
 

Unfortunately I wasn’t in the know as Feegie Park as it’s affectionately known isn’t the most inspiring place to live. 
 

So we then up and drive into what I can only desire as Bosnia with sports wear. We must have passed a couple of burnt out cars and eventually happened upon the address given. 
 

To be met with a Nissan 200sx shaped blob of rust parked in a garden on a council house. The grass was almsot as tall as the roof and a couple of I assume broken washing machines and cookers were fetching garden ornaments. 
 

Just as we were deciding to leave an incredibly drunk man exited the house and spoke with us about his beloved Nissan 200sx which needed “abit” of work. 
 

He then proceeded to start it and immediately red line it, dumping the incredibly loud dump valve numerous times. 
 

To be honest it sounded awesome but we “had another car to look at” and left before the car we arrived in was stolen. 
 

 

I had a similar experience with a 200SX in Manchester, the ‘trader’ assured me it was a good one with no rust and was very straight, I got there to see the rear spoiler hanging off, with huge rust holes in the tailgate and a big end knock from the engine, to say I was pissed after the drive there was an understatement 😤

thankfully a couple of weeks later I found a really nice one in Chester and kept it for 5 years.

[IronStar]

1 hour ago, eddyramrod said:

I've always wanted to be the actual "first to see" person, just to walk away to spite the advertiser.  The whole phrase annoys me.

I was, for a 1.6 BX. It wasn’t as described. I offered lower price, guy told me he’s firm and has another guy coming later that day to buy. I walked away. I guess the other guy didn’t buy either as the car was for sale last time I checked , which was 9 months after I was there to see it.

There are really times, when as seller, you should be aware what you’re selling is desirable to a very small group of people, and the condition makes it even less desirable. When someone offers you under your asking after you accidentally* miss-described it, you take the money and run. Fast.

[artdjones]

30 years ago I got a friend interested in old cars. He decided he'd like a Minor Traveller, and found one in Killaloe, County Clare, which even now is over 2 hours from West Cork. I was game for a laugh, so we arranged a time for the Saturday, and at the appointed time arrived in Killaloe. The Traveller was parked outside when we got to the address, but the owner hadn't returned from an errand yet. We walked over and looked at the car. Almond green, and very smart and together. Then I got down on my knees and poked the driver's side floor with my fingers. Unfortunately they went straight through. So we got straight back in my Passat and drove to West Cork,  without even knocking the door to explain.

It didn't put him off. He's had 3 or 4 Minors since, and at least 10 other classics.

[comfortablynumb]

MK2 son decides he wants a Jag. Limited budget (you can see where this is going....) and he finds an X type about 30 miles away. I told him the Mondeo story but he's not interested.

So we drive to a posh housing estate and there's said Jag, definitely a 30 footer.

Owner's Mrs comes out, oh he's not here, no problem, here's the keys, it's mine anyway, just too big for me.

Yeah, I guess that's why there's damage on every single panel, and the bumpers are attached via fairydust.

It's just been serviced.

That's why the brake fluid would look more at home in a Texan oil well then, is it?

I stick my head underneath, and look for some steel to check on the ns sill. There isn't any.

None on the os one either.

Grab MK2 son by the scruff to stop him saying anything stupid.

" It's not for us, thanks!"

Literally threw him back in the car and left, quick. I know he can weld, but there still needs to be something to weld to...

[bangernomics]

Against my better judgement I bid on a caravan for some godforsaken reason it was in Stroud. I set off at four am as I only had one day off and when they pulled this steaming heap of shit round I looked at it and the popeye chap and his pals that were selling it and thought flip this and said I was going to go get the cash for it as it looked like it was going to come on top as I had pointed out how it looked like a different van.

Just drove home. They rang me a few times and I just said I was called away.

It was like a bowl of fetid weetabix.

I’m not proud of myself.

[privatewire]

Early eighties, I was trying to get shot of my first car which was an utterly shagged Marina 1300 Coupe, so I advertised it in my local paper ( The Greenock Telegraph) for £250 or swap for a mini. I got a call to my folk’s phone ( still living with them) and went off to view a 3 years older purple 850, when I got to the house, which was in an advanced state of falling down,  the Mini was wheeled out and it was an utter, utter shed, it was being flogged by an albino lad and his mum/ wife who I recognised as part time dealers. Anyway, I made the usual “other cars to see” excuses, and made good my escape, slightly shiteing myself as the Albino lad had a bit of a fearsome reputation for being  a “ heidcase” Anyway, I thought nothing more about it for a couple of nights till my folk’s phone rang again. I just knew it was going to be your man enquiring after the Marina again, so I answered the phone by doing a vague impression of my maw, telling him I’d sold the motor, full asking price etc, he only flaming swallowed the whole story, which admittedly I had got right into the telling of while impersonating my poor old maw, embroidering round the edges of the story to obviously great effect. Anyway, karma is a bitch, as I eventually sold the Marina to a local pensioner who tracked me down constantly for about the next year every time a bulb blew or a bit fell off.

[New POD]

15 hours ago, Missy Charm said:

Some of those early Minis really were junkers...  

They were shit when new. 

[sierraman]

Some I’ve not even had the opportunity to look at, saw an advert for an 83 Y Sierra, one owner, no rust, clearly advert written by someone at least a thousand years old. Rings up, could we have a viewing? The woman on the phone said she’d got someone that was going to ring her about having a viewing later that day so no. Tried explaining they might not buy it but in her head a viewing meant you were having the fucker!