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Most stupid message while flogging a shiter


Alan Prost

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I'd say the internet has made life a lot easier here. Theres always been any amount of penniless armchair dealers (I reckon i was one when i was about 19) and clueless bullshitters. Now you can just filter them out easily without having to speak to them in person, or worse, have them coming round your house and/or wasting your time waiting for them not to turn up. 

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The other good thing about social media is that you can block these clueless two bob 'Bargain Hunt' types without ever having to deal  with them yourself.

Pretty much every selling page is rammed with 'LOL not worth that m8' and 'my dad bought one last week for 11p' dickheads to add to your blocked list.

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Not quite the same but I was after a part for my BM about a year ago, I contacted a chap breaking one on market place... 

 'This is a true story. The events depicted in the below took place in South East England in late 2019/ early 2020.  At the request of the survivors, the names have been redacted. Out of respect for the dead, the rest has been told exactly as it occurred (or close enough) 

Me: Do you have said part?

Him : Yes I do but I need to take it off  the car first....it will cost x amount....

Me: Great,  can I collect this Saturday?

Him : Yes, see you Saturday.

Me on Sat morning : Still okay for today? 

Him :Sorry cant do today, my cats got food poisoning or some BS like that

Me : Okay, next Friday evening?

Him: Perfect, see you Friday.

Me  on Friday: Still okay to collect today? 

Radio silence.......

Well about 6 months  later I was also selling a bit for a BMW.......collection only, no offers clearly stated....my old mate contacts me....is this still available? 

Why yes it is sir.....

Would I accept x for the item.....oh no, you live quite far away ( 20 miles).....would I post it.....

Well sir, seeing as its you, how about fxxk no.......

He messaged me weeks later....."whats the part number? " Sadly my cat had food poisoning so I couldnt respond.....  

Ive just thought now, maybe his cat actually died and he was so distraught he couldnt reply to me.....Oh crap, now Im the asshole.....

 

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This thread is hilarious!! Getting rid of my Micra was painful:

32F09339-F0B3-4107-957D-8A6D1230E10C.thumb.png.e643eb4c993c730b1a687f19cf9be97f.png

5C42B37C-2A97-49D3-B56D-32386EB8F4A3.thumb.png.ab570e3da6f2b196ff5201103850d92c.png

8274C219-9CEB-474D-B885-2362F0E49D50.thumb.png.f5f0f87c349d3a47830306bf350c728a.png

3FD010BB-C687-4B07-B143-55E313C8557D.thumb.png.59d22f7ff67815d0fe6d0c3c42e82cbc.png

B61FA7A3-074C-45DB-B9B6-0191DAAFB70B.thumb.png.d026c9a9ca9e801f2011105969c8e222.png

6518A406-33B3-4C9C-8717-0F7764CE4BA8.thumb.png.ed1f597e554a64900e2d04bffc47aa3e.png

That was the best one out of about a dozen waifs and strays falling over themselves to take the car off my hands. the chap who eventually came and took it off my hands (£200 in actual pound notes) appears to have given up trying to fix it up and sent it down the metals yard after a couple of months, depriving himself of a similar selling experience. 

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8 minutes ago, mk2_craig said:

This thread is hilarious!! Getting rid of my Micra was painful:

32F09339-F0B3-4107-957D-8A6D1230E10C.thumb.png.e643eb4c993c730b1a687f19cf9be97f.png

5C42B37C-2A97-49D3-B56D-32386EB8F4A3.thumb.png.ab570e3da6f2b196ff5201103850d92c.png

8274C219-9CEB-474D-B885-2362F0E49D50.thumb.png.f5f0f87c349d3a47830306bf350c728a.png

3FD010BB-C687-4B07-B143-55E313C8557D.thumb.png.59d22f7ff67815d0fe6d0c3c42e82cbc.png

B61FA7A3-074C-45DB-B9B6-0191DAAFB70B.thumb.png.d026c9a9ca9e801f2011105969c8e222.png

6518A406-33B3-4C9C-8717-0F7764CE4BA8.thumb.png.ed1f597e554a64900e2d04bffc47aa3e.png

That was the best one out of about a dozen waifs and strays falling over themselves to take the car off my hands. the chap who eventually came and took it off my hands (£200 in actual pound notes) appears to have given up trying to fix it up and sent it down the metals yard after a couple of months, depriving himself of a similar selling experience. 

I was desperate to see a reply of "I don't want your shitty fucking lego" from you there 

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8 minutes ago, SRi05 said:

I was desperate to see a reply of "I don't want your shitty fucking lego" from you there 

I was half tempted with the Go Pro he briefly offered, to be fair.

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I was about to comment on the cat one being the best but then I scrolled down to the Lego/Micra story. Fucking hell 😂😂😂

I remember I was offered a Samsung phone for a nearly-new engine hoist. The chap said he had just upgraded his phone so the Samsung was effectively worthless. I told him thanks but no.

The eventual purchaser turned up when agreed in a Range Rover towing a tri-axle Ifor Williams Trailer to collect it and paid the full asking price. That certainly showed intent!

 

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I had a similar experience selling a Powerflow exhaust for the st220 I bought. I’d payed £250 for it. I was selling it for £250. And considering if you were to buy a new one you’re looking at £600+ it was a bargain. 10 out of 10 for effort on this one but I wasn’t taking a loss on it. 
 

BCE57CC0-651B-45BF-8C5B-C2E6B2BA9CD2.thumb.png.7e73b1f93604348edd0c859fac5d3836.png

DC9E7492-D3D9-4026-A043-AD8753403758.thumb.png.288ea969a8187c8faee36f2b70242832.png

 

7F296177-DA39-4B6D-81CD-B0662F56D7DB.thumb.png.b75cb4a87744280906a9230fcea819f2.png

 

he eventually bought it for full asking price, and I met him in a lay-by close to the M6 and he put it in his wagon. He later bought the clutch i bought for it for full asking price too! 

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Mixed emotions about all of this.

When I sold our 940 turbo a couple of years back I spent literally HOURS answering questions, taking more pics and even filming 'walk around' videos of the car for a host of dreamers on the other side of the country, all of whom were very cordial and used proper grammar, but ultimately made excuses and never turned up.

After a fortnight, I got a message from someone in Middlesbrough that literally said "Still got car? I wont to cum and luk 2moro" Against my better judgement I messaged back and to my amazement the chap turned up the next day and after a brief look and test drive paid in full. I still see pictures of him with the car via various Volvo Instagram feeds, he seemingly still has/loves the car two years on and they're both living their best lives together.

Meanwhile,while all this was going on, some random contacted me on eBay to ask how I "Dared" ask so much for an old Volvo and said "Pigs might fly". I pointed out it was a low milage and in very good condition, and asked him to show me another sub 100k manual turbo anywhere in the UK for less. Of course he couldn't, but responded calling me a "Unscrupulous scumbag". A quick scan through his feedback revealed he'd been involved in a dispute earlier that year in which he'd sold an elderly disabled gentleman a faulty wheel chair and refused to accept it back until eBay eventually had to step in.  I pointed this out to him and said that him calling me a scumbag might be a bit rich.... The messages stopped immediately... (I wish I'd had the presence of mind to screen capture the exchange!)

That was the last car I sold, and TBH given it was such a pain I'm deeply reluctant to get involved in the process again. 

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When we sold the Scammell we weren't that fussed if it went or not and wanted to avoid too much gyp with dreamers so the price we put on it was a little on the high side. If it sold for something like that then great, if not it could live in the shed for a bit more. One lad came to see it but offered something not even close so we resigned ourselves to it being around a little more.

Then from a Dutch email address came.

Quote

 

Is lorry still for sale?

 

Illiterate, Holland, No mention of the actual thing you are selling. Obviously a scam so just ignore it.  A fortnight later a second arrived from the same email address.

Quote

Scammell. Is it available?

This time he stuck what looked like a first name on the bottom. A quick Google suggested that there was a Dutch lad who moved in the right sort of circles so it might be worth a reply. He got sent some more info and an offer to pick him up at the airport if he wanted to come and view it.

Quote

No time. Looks good. Will you take <an offer only fractionally down on the asking>

So far, so dodgy as hell. Ah well, go into this with eyes wide open. Yeah, we'll take that but really, you ought to come and see it.

Quote

Too busy. Pay money into bank and son will collect soon

Two days later the money appeared in the account. The first thing to do was move the money out of the account sharpish. It was then about three months that we heard almost nothing. We still had his money and we had his lorry. We sent some emails asking when he was coming and each time got a five or six word response.

Finally some months after paying his son did turn up in a low loader that to put not too fine a point on it dripped money. Like proper money. Loaded up the Scammell, had a brew and drove back to Dover to catch the ferry. A fortnight later we got an email with several sentences saying that he's finally had time to go to look at it and thought it was wonderful. It turned out that the lad was not exactly brassic and what he paid for the Scammell was pretty much loose change.

One of the more odd selling experiences we have had.

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17 hours ago, Wack said:

I've posted this before

I had a Maserati for sale , guy in France,  emailed, texted and called for weeks , but he wanted me to drive it 250 miles to Dover without a deposit or expenses 

No 

It dragged on for weeks , eventually I said I want to see some ID or I'm breaking this off , send me a picture of your drivers licence etc

Next day I get a link to a video on YouTube 

WtF is this 

eef yeu fast foreward teu, 2 minuets , ze guy working on ze car , eet is me 

Oh fuck off.

Thanks now all I have stuck in my head is the policeman from allo allo ...................good moooning

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9 minutes ago, scorchio69 said:

Thanks now all I have stuck in my head is the policeman from allo allo ...................good moooning

It felt like a comedy sketch , I offered to pick him up at the airport , manchester or liverpool but no, he did deal in cars and probably wanted it but there was no way I was driving it to dover so he could chip me on the price

A few weeks later I sold it , I got a very terse email, something like

eue are a tiemwasteur, ah arm verry disappointed,

 

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2 hours ago, JimH said:

When we sold the Scammell we weren't that fussed if it went or not and wanted to avoid too much gyp with dreamers so the price we put on it was a little on the high side. If it sold for something like that then great, if not it could live in the shed for a bit more. One lad came to see it but offered something not even close so we resigned ourselves to it being around a little more.

Then from a Dutch email address came.

Illiterate, Holland, No mention of the actual thing you are selling. Obviously a scam so just ignore it.  A fortnight later a second arrived from the same email address.

This time he stuck what looked like a first name on the bottom. A quick Google suggested that there was a Dutch lad who moved in the right sort of circles so it might be worth a reply. He got sent some more info and an offer to pick him up at the airport if he wanted to come and view it.

So far, so dodgy as hell. Ah well, go into this with eyes wide open. Yeah, we'll take that but really, you ought to come and see it.

Two days later the money appeared in the account. The first thing to do was move the money out of the account sharpish. It was then about three months that we heard almost nothing. We still had his money and we had his lorry. We sent some emails asking when he was coming and each time got a five or six word response.

Finally some months after paying his son did turn up in a low loader that to put not too fine a point on it dripped money. Like proper money. Loaded up the Scammell, had a brew and drove back to Dover to catch the ferry. A fortnight later we got an email with several sentences saying that he's finally had time to go to look at it and thought it was wonderful. It turned out that the lad was not exactly brassic and what he paid for the Scammell was pretty much loose change.

One of the more odd selling experiences we have had.

I’d like a picture of said scammel to compliment this story to its full potential! 

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2 hours ago, sutty2006 said:

I’d like a picture of said scammel to compliment this story to its full potential! 

Before

2898108619_76c9600ca6_z.jpg

During

3361841955_497d5d7683_z.jpg

After

4617678021_38a0640333_z.jpg

We kept it for a few years after finishing it but it was just such hard work to drive on the road so it ended up just sitting in the shed. After getting used to steamers you just felt like you were fighting with it all the time and after an hour you completely knackered. Not fun at all.  If you are interested in that sort of thing the photo story of rebuilding it is still on the HMVF site.

A vido

ETA: Someone came for a ride and filmed some of it. This gives an idea of what a titache it was on the road. The howl that came off sixth got boring after a bit.

 

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1 minute ago, JimH said:

Before

2898108619_76c9600ca6_z.jpg

During

3361841955_497d5d7683_z.jpg

After

4617678021_38a0640333_z.jpg

We kept it for a few years after finishing it but it was just such hard work to drive on the road so it ended up just sitting in the shed. After getting used to steamers you just felt like you were fighting with it all the time and after an hour you completely knackered. Not fun at all.  If you are interested in that sort of thing the photo story of rebuilding it is still on the HMVF site.

A vido

 

Ooooooof. That’s porn. I R erect. 

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A chap I used to work for collected Scammells, He had an Explorer, and Crusader and a Constructor. 

He used to be heavily into Citroens, having been trained at the Paris Factory. When he retired, he sold everything and disappeared.

 As he used to smoke about 50 B&H a day, I'd be surprised if he was still around. 

Pretty sure this was one of his....

Scammell_Crusader_-_KBC_116N_at_Lincoln_08_-_DSC00042.jpg.b16ead7ad974e45c0991492f42d7e458.jpg

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A Pioneer will be flat out at 25-30 I guess? That noise would rip my knitting after a while, bugger going to war and getting shot at while enduring that.  I wonder how the spam equivalents stack up in terms of driver friendliness, Diamond-Ts and Macks etc.

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28mph on the govenor but it didn't slow down as much as the steamers on hills so was probably a wee bit quicker than them on average.

We had it parked at a military show and an old lad wandered up for a chat. He described getting in a Pioneer R100 gun tractor at Dundee which travelled to Aberdeen and then in convoy down to Dover. From there they went as far as the Maginot line before legging it back to Dunkirk where they were told to drop the sump plug and leave it running.

I'd driven it about 10 miles that morning which was more than enough for me so I could not get my head round what it must have felt like to drive the sodding thing to the other side of France.

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3 hours ago, JimH said:

If you are interested in that sort of thing the photo story of rebuilding it is still on the HMVF site.

Wouldn't mind a read of that actually. Got a link? My efforts at searching for it in between conference calls have failed.

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On 2/3/2021 at 1:46 PM, anonymous user said:

 Several even rang to say "I'm leaving now" never to turn up and never to be heard from again.

Have to put my hand up and admit I did this once to a seller. I passed a car for sale on the way there that was a better option and bought that instead. In the days before carrying mobile phones around.

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9 hours ago, JimH said:

ETA: Someone came for a ride and filmed some of it. This gives an idea of what a titache it was on the road. The howl that came off sixth got boring after a bit.

 

Oh lordy, did it have one of those gearboxes?  Yep, definitely rather you than me in that case...

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I sold an LPG powered 1999 Passat on FB marketplace and it was a proper weirdo magnet. I eventually filtered out all the guaranteed messers and a guy came to have a look. He seemed nice- it was up for something like £200 so not mega money. We went for a test drive and he liked it, sat in the car we started talking turkey. I didn't want to drop the price as it was around what I'd get for scrap and I'd already dropped it quite a bit, plus is was a pretty clean car. He got more and more agitated, eventually grabbing my elbow and pleaded with me to knock £20 off, tears welling up in his eyes. "Please, PLEASE, I'm BEGGING YOU!"

He took it for £180.

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11 hours ago, JimH said:

ETA: Someone came for a ride and filmed some of it. This gives an idea of what a titache it was on the road. The howl that came off sixth got boring after a bit.

 

WooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOooOOoo

Fuck me, that looks miserable to drive.

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