The grumpy thread

[DeeJay]

5 hours ago, Jerzy Woking said:

My house purchase in Spain went through yesterday, so the property is now legally mine, which is brilliantmine.

Major grump is I am not allowed to travel there at the moment due to travel restrictions in France and Spain. Hopefully things will change soon.

 

Where about is your house in Costa Blanca?

 

 

[Fumbler]

50 minutes ago, Agila said:

Is that the wrong jacking point? Thought it would have been on osf sill just behind the front wheel.

Turns out that was the case and I was victim of the conflicting information between the instructions on the car jack and the instructions in the manual. Oh well. It's all fixed up now and everything's been put to rights.

[Jerzy Woking]

30 minutes ago, DeeJay said:

Where about is your house in Costa Blanca?

It's up in the hills between Albatera and Crevillente. Our family house is near Guardama about 20 to 25 minutes away.

[hairnet]

1 hour ago, Fumbler said:

Definitely wasn't a fun experience, that's for sure!

they are a fkin liability

had flat on the front on a master on the motorway in very shit weather

drove 2 miles on it to the next junction - it was on drivers front

rang work - yo come and fetch me call breakdown

theyll be 3 hours

i drove into a marriott  and it took more than an hour using one of those

not an experience i want to repeat - cost them my time lost deliveries and a rim and a tyre van was two weeks old

 

 

[Jazoli]

2 hours ago, Jerzy Woking said:

It's up in the hills between Albatera and Crevillente. Our family house is near Guardama about 20 to 25 minutes away.

I lived just down the road in Catral for a couple of years before retreating further inland

[DeeJay]

I've an apartment in Santa Pola.

Was supposed to be there over easter, postponed to August (hopefully).

[Tadhg Tiogar]

2 hours ago, Jazoli said:

I lived just down the road in Catral for a couple of years.....

Ooh, I know someone who lives on the Calle Vicente Blasco Ibanez....

[ShiteRider]

Could smell a mixture of burning plastic and antifreeze and noticed the temp gauge was 95+ and climbing pulled over to this...

 

[ShiteRider]

Water pump seized, stretched + melted the cambelt. This cowboy has yee'd his last haw...

 

[castros_bro]

17 hours ago, Jerzy Woking said:

My house purchase in Spain went through yesterday, so the property is now legally mine, which is brilliantmine.

Major grump is I am not allowed to travel there at the moment due to travel restrictions in France and Spain. Hopefully things will change soon.

Second grump is that despite a quite severe lockdown, the Spanish sorted everything out legally without and issue. But the solicitors and agents acting on the sale of my UK house say they can do nothing until the lockdown is lifted. My buyer is livid with them all, as the sale was agreed in Feb and she is desperate to move in.

 

I know the destination is not Spain but next door - travel does seem possible, this stolen quote is from 26th April from

https://britishexpats.com/forum/portugal-89/driving-back-porugal-advice-932215/page4/

 

As the OP (who managed to spell Portugal without a "t" in the subject) I thought I would report back having successfully returned to my home in the Algarve. But first I would like to thank those who offered practical advice. It was all very useful.

To recap I wanted to return to Portugal from the UK in my own Portuguese registered car which had been parked up in the UK whilst I was on a trip to Australia. Getting out of Australia had its own challenges but after several cancelled flights I got back to the UK where I stayed in self-isolation (UK style) for 2 weeks. My ferry crossing to Spain was also cancelled leaving me with only Eurotunnel as an option to get to mainland Europe.

I had done quite a bit of research, including starting this thread. One of the most useful resources was the Eurotunnel website which provides its own advice about travel to France and provides links to the French Government website where you can download the documents you may need - including bilingual versions. I had contacted the British Embassy in Spain to ask for their advice about transiting through Spain and they were, frankly, useless. They just sent me a stock reply which was all about advice for UK citizens returning to the UK. I also contacted the Portuguese Embassy in the UK and they answered my email within a matter of hours and provided me with the information I needed regarding driving through Spain.

Here's what happened:

I drove from north west England to Eurotunnel in Folkestone. I was surprised at the amount of traffic on the M1 and the M25 - it was nothing like the photos of deserted motorways I had seen on the BBC website. At the French passport control I presented the International Travel Certficate to Mainland France (you would need one for each occupant), my Portuguese residency certificate and, of course, my passport. In the event they weren't interested in the International Travel Certificate but were very interested in my Portuguese residency certificate. I was advised that, in addition, I would need an Attestation de Déplacement Dérogatoire (again one for each occupant and one for each day spent in France). My car was one of just 5 on the train. There were lorries and a few commercial vans as well.

Leaving the Eurotunnel in Calais was just as normal: no checks of anything else, just straight out onto the Autoroute.

I drove to south west France where I had booked a room at an Ibis hotel. Ibis was excellent and were even able to supply breakfast in a coronavirus friendly manner. Not all their hotels are open but their website has an interactive map to show where the hotels are which made it easy to find one en route. I booked through booking.com which allowed me free cancellation up to 6 o´clock on the day of arrival.

I had expected occasional police checkpoints and had assumed that maybe the gendarmerie would be situated at motorway toll booths but throughout France I saw none. I felt a little conspicuous when I had to leave the motorway to get to my hotel but again I saw no police checks - but by that time it was 9 o'clock in the evening. Most motorway service stations in France are open for toilets, fuel, machine coffee and sandwiches.

Leaving very early the next morning and driving on towards the Spanish border (nearly 4 hours away) the roads got quieter except around Bordeaux. The last 40 or 50 km felt quite lonely as I only had international trucks for company.

At the Spanish border there was no tailback - there was just one car in front of me. I presented my certificate of residency to the Spanish border officials together with a piece of ID which, in my case, was my Portuguese driving licence. They gave me an "Authority to Transit through Spain" which they dated, timed and stamped. They said I could present it if I was stopped by the police. I had made the decision to drive through Spain without any overnight stops, mainly because only certain hotels are allowed to be open in Spain. They have to be on an official list. I had considered crossing into Portugal at one of the more northerly crossing points but armed with my Authority to Transit I felt confident enough to drive to the south of Spain so I could enter Portugal at the Ayamonte/Vila Real crossing. The drive from the French border to Ayamonte can be done entirely on motorways but service areas are a bit difficult. They are open for toilets and fuel but I was unable to buy a cup of coffee during the whole journey. There were plenty of gantry signs reminding drivers that their journey must be essential and that they can expect checkpoints particularly around cities. But I saw none.

Arriving at the Portuguese border I was asked how long I had been out of Portugal (and why). I presented my certificate of residency which was photographed along with my passort and the car registration plate. I was also asked for a contact phone number. Half an hour later I was home.

I have to say that all the officials I dealt with on the way were charming and good humoured.

So that's it. If I can offer any advice to anyone contemplating the same trip it would be:

• be prepared for any eventuality (one of my worries was that the hotel I had booked would be closed on arrival).
• print off all the documents you need before travelling (I had even printed my hotel booking confirmation and if necessary, I could have demonstrated that I had been making my way back from Australia). It's probably a good idea to print some extra attestations for France just in case, although I believe it is now possible to complete an attestation online for whch you get a QR code to present to the police if necessary.
• make sure you have your Portuguese residency card or certificate. You will definitely need it.
• stick to motorways as much as possible. You will feel less conspicuous and it would be much easier to explain why you are on the road. Motorway service stations provide a relatively safe haven if you need to sleep in your car.
• take food and drink with you.
• drive safely!

[twosmoke300]

16 hours ago, somewhatfoolish said:

There's no government restriction on house sales, so has one of the solicitors decided they can't be arsed doing their job?

It’s not like they can go on a skiing holiday either at the moment . Which is what every single solicitor I’ve dealt with has done just before completing my house move / transfer. Usually for 3 weeks and no other fucker in the place can touch it .

[twosmoke300]

It’s funny cos it’s true 

[Jerzy Woking]

@castros_bro If I had a Certificate of Residencia I'd be OK, but I don't have one. I made the application through my solicitor in December just before I returned to the UK. I have to physically be living in Spain for three months before it will be issued.

No one in authority can answer any of my questions with any certainty, and seeing as this situation has never occurred before, everything is a "first"

@DeeJay and @Jazoli. I like Santa Pola, often go down to the marina for tapas at one of the many places along the waterfront. Been to Catral a few times, nice little town, and Delores puts on a good car show (though not this year).

 

[Jerzy Woking]

4 hours ago, twosmoke300 said:

It’s not like they can go on a skiing holiday either at the moment . Which is what every single solicitor I’ve dealt with has done just before completing my house move / transfer. Usually for 3 weeks and no other fucker in the place can touch it .

My Spanish solicitors obviously don't like skiing!

[wuvvum]

Took the Rover 45 in for its MOT retest this morning now that the local garage has reopened.  Turns out that whilst it's been stood it's developed a major diesel leak. FFS.  Poxy thing.

[Kiltox]

If you have a house with a wanky name instead of a number PUT A FUCKING SIGN UP so people can find it 

[wuvvum]

Turns out the issue with the Rover is just a split leak off pipe - took me about 30 seconds to find once the engine cover was off.  Cheap fix too - although I've then got to fork out for another bloody retest fee.

[Isaac Hunt]

The testvstation I've been using for the last twenty years does not charge for a re-test.   I've always been back with a repaired vehicle within a few days.  Not that I have had many failures.  

[wuvvum]

There are some around here that do free retests, but they charge full whack for the original test so I don't really gain much.  Plus the garage I use is a <10 minute walk from my house so I can drop a car off there first thing, walk home, take another car in to work and then pick the MOT'd car up when I get home in the evening.  (When I'm not working from home obvs.)

[Remspoor]

On 5/9/2020 at 8:58 PM, Jerzy Woking said:

It's up in the hills between Albatera and Crevillente. Our family house is near Guardama about 20 to 25 minutes away.

Valencia, one of the locations which is still at the original phase of lifting the server Lock down here in Spain. Most of the country has managed to move on to the next level.

On 5/10/2020 at 1:56 PM, Jerzy Woking said:

@castros_bro If I had a Certificate of Residencia I'd be OK, but I don't have one. I made the application through my solicitor in December just before I returned to the UK. I have to physically be living in Spain for three months before it will be issued.

No one in authority can answer any of my questions with any certainty, and seeing as this situation has never occurred before, everything is a "first"

@DeeJay and @Jazoli. I like Santa Pola, often go down to the marina for tapas at one of the many places along the waterfront. Been to Catral a few times, nice little town, and Delores puts on a good car show (though not this year).

 

What are you calling a Residencia? Have you already got your fiscal Number Número de Identificación de Extranjero (N.I.E. )?

You have to register your arrival in Spain within 3 months, not wait until you have been in the country. However, before the State of Alarm here there was a waiting time to get you application looked at. Heaven knows what is happening now. You have to apply on line for an appointment to present your documentation to register that you are living in Spain. I believe a representative can do this for you. But hey need your passport. So that works I don't know. Me and the wife done our own.

No matter what the deadline due to the UK leaving the EU is the end of Dec 2020. It was planned that everyone should be documented as living in Spain  before that date.  It is not clear if that deadline has been /will be changed.

 

[Jerzy Woking]

43 minutes ago, Remspoor said:

Valencia, one of the locations which is still at the original phase of lifting the server Lock down here in Spain. Most of the country has managed to move on to the next level.

What are you calling a Residencia? Have you already got your fiscal Number Número de Identificación de Extranjero (N.I.E. )?

You have to register your arrival in Spain within 3 months, not wait until you have been in the country. However, before the State of Alarm here there was a waiting time to get you application looked at. Heaven knows what is happening now. You have to apply on line for an appointment to present your documentation to register that you are living in Spain. I believe a representative can do this for you. But hey need your passport. So that works I don't know. Me and the wife done our own.

No matter what the deadline due to the UK leaving the EU is the end of Dec 2020. It was planned that everyone should be documented as living in Spain  before that date.  It is not clear if that deadline has been /will be changed.

Thanks-that makes things a bit clearer. I have read that Alicante and Elche are in the red zone and travel within the area is restricted.

I have had an NIE for a few years now (my parents owned a property in Spain at the time of their deaths). When I signed the contract to buy the house back in December, the solicitor said he would start my application for the residencia process, but I would have to wait as there were many applications submitted. I would like to think mine is in the system at least.

And it seems I have misinterpreted the "within 3 months" for "live here for 3 months". 

As for timescales, maybe the registration before Brexit will be extended to beyond December 2020, but who knows, as there are far more pressing matters at the moment.

[taxi paul]

Been struggling with conjunctivitis this past week. Finally starting to clear so can now see a bit better. Next door to me are having the garden done. My nicely washed and polished celica is full of dust and shite from next doors tipper lorries and skip lorries. Bummer 

[Bren]

Vectra cdti 16v. Whoever decided to put the oil filter where is is wants twatting.

[Zelandeth]

Oh course the rotor arm is totally welded to the distributor shaft...why wouldn't it be?

[Tadhg Tiogar]

26 minutes ago, Bren said:

Vectra cdti 16v. Whoever decided to put the oil filter where is is wants twatting.

Probably still more accessible than a CX oil filter. 

[Zelandeth]

1 hour ago, Bren said:

Vectra cdti 16v. Whoever decided to put the oil filter where is is wants twatting.

Probably the same person responsible for the one on the 90s Corsa 1.5TD.  Right down the back of the sodding engine, no access from underneath because there's a subframe in the way...removing the coolant expansion tank and having very long arms was what I recall being necessary.

[Zelandeth]

1 hour ago, Zelandeth said:

Oh course the rotor arm is totally welded to the distributor shaft...why wouldn't it be?

Gotcha ya bastard!

[Bren]

1 hour ago, Zelandeth said:

Probably the same person responsible for the one on the 90s Corsa 1.5TD.  Right down the back of the sodding engine, no access from underneath because there's a subframe in the way...removing the coolant expansion tank and having very long arms was what I recall being necessary.

At the back of the engine - side on and above the exhaust. I replaced it but what a PITA.

[matt79]

Bad shit happens in threes, right?

1. Saturday 9th May (mid PM)

I notice there is some water seeping from under the floor joint cover strip between the hallway & downstairs loo. Thats odd thinks I, although the floor had been mopped recently (we have vinyl flooring downstairs). Curiosity gets the better of me & I prise up the joint cover & find that the concrete sub floor in the loo & the felt backing of the vinyl is piss wet! I trace the leak to a 'slightly more than weeping' connection on the pipework for the cistern inlet (the inlet is on the left hand side of the cistern, & the mains water feed pipe is on the opposite (right hand) side, naturally!) the water was dribbling down the flexi pipe and dripping directly onto the floor where the vinyl had been cut to fit around the toilet pan. At this point I find the nut connecting the copper pipe to the plastic pipe of the flush is loose & wont tighten as it appears to be cross threaded. At this point I start raging at the bodging cowboy bastard who fitted the loo some 5 years ago, just after we moved in (the bodging cowboy bastard fitter in question was myself but shhhh! dont tell anyone!)

Cant for the life of me figure out what I was thinking of at the time I installed the loo (I had used various bits of recycled copper pipe, plastic & metal nuts & connectors & a bodged flexi tap connector with too many joints, my grandad always said with plumbing use a few connections as possible to reduce the chance of leaks)

Too late to get anything sorted on Saturday, so on Sunday morning I go to Screwfix & collect a flexi pipe connector and after a bit (lot) of swearing, (& because its a downstairs loo I cant get my fat fucking body between the loo & the wall, without getting stuck or breaking something else) so working blind with both my massive mole hands behind the toilet pan I manage to connect the pipe, turn the isolator valve back on I hear the sound of water rushing through the pipework & all appears OK with no leaks! Result! now I get to relax & enjoy the rest of my Sunday........

2. Sunday 10th May

Around 1430 we decide to head out for our daily state mandated hour's exercise & whilst turning the key to lock the back door the lock resists the key turning, then suddenly there is a slight 'tink' sound from the lock & the resistance is gone, now the key just spins in the lock, resulting in not being able to lock the door! Fan-Fucking-Tastic!! 

I immediately assume its the lock barrel thats broken so quickly look on the internet and lo! Screwfix have a replacement lock cylinder in stock! So I rush off to Screwfix for the 2nd time in one day, arriving minutes before they close (due to living in the Cambrigdeshire fens the nearest Screwfix is a 20 mile round trip).

Get the old lock out & install the new lock.......turn the key.......key just spins! (at this point instead of going full on bat shit crazy, a strange, un-naturally serene calmness decends on me, maybe I'm too angry to be angry?!) Turns out its the lockset / gearbox for the multi locking system thats broken. I manage release  the busted lock  from the door & look online for a replacement. There are many locksets to choose from all priced around £20 - £30, but of course none match the exact dimensions of mine. After some searching, it turns out that the company that made the original lockset are no longer in business, but the ever enterprising Chinese have made an exact* copy which can be mine for £45 delivered! 

New lockset arrived Tuesday 12th May & is fitted without drama & we now have a working, lockable back door which is due to be replaced anyway, once life returns to somewhat normal......whenever that will be.......

3. Tuesday 12th May

Decide to swap the back wheels for the fronts on the modern daily (Ford Focus) Start on the passenger side, get the wheels swapped & whilst doing up the locking wheel nut on the front wheel, the side of the locking nut key shears off (because of course it fucking does), snapping the top off of the locking nut itself! So now have to wait for the new locking nuts & key to arrive.......also noticed that one of the nuts on the drivers side rear wheel has been rounded off, enough to necessitate the deployment of the Irwin bolt / nut extractors, once I find where I put them after I last used them!

 

TL;DR - FMFL! I feel like a modern day Frank fucking Spencer

 

[Springer]

On 5/9/2020 at 1:09 AM, juular said:

My neighbour has a shih tzu that since Christmas has been getting kicked out in the garden 24/7. 

It doesn't bark. It screams, and it never stops.

At first I was grumpy. Then it started waking me up at 3am at which point shit got serious and I went round. They would never answer the door but just twitched their curtains. Obviously they know it's a problem.

So I got the council involved, who were as much use as a chocolate fireguard. Apparently barking dogs are impossible to prove as being a statutory nuisance. Despite them standing in my bedroom at 10pm listening to endless screaming. Looking at recent FOI requests our council has not issued a single noise notice for barking dogs in several years. I assume someone in the department is an equally selfish dog owner and doesn't see the problem.

Im a really calm and zen person. I tend to shrug at most things. However my nerves are shattered and I'm now on beta blockers to stop this riling me up. Today I stood holding a brick aimed at their window and I'm not entirely sure why I put it down.

People with barking dogs need to be tortured, shot, and their children sterilized with rusty razors.

Just before you think I'm defending the owners...I'm not! 

 

It's classic behaviour of many dog owners who don't research the breed traits prior to purchase, then act all surprised when their dog actually  displays those traits. Shih Tzu''s, Lhassa's etc are all Temple Dog breeds, therefore it;s in their DNA to bark and scream. They were deigned as an 'early warning  system'.  Yet we still have owners (and their long suffering neighbours), surprised by this outcome.

Fuckwittery exists everywhere!!

 

Just stick to the routine of waking your neighbours up every time their dog wakes you.  I guess it won't take them long to get the message.