The grumpy thread

[brownnova]

I do miss cruise control, that’s the one feature I wish my Saab had!

[twosmoke300]

A Saab with no cruise ?

 

Is it one of those “ fake “ Saab’s with a Diesel engine ?

[Lacquer Peel]

My 9000 and 900 cla**ic didn't have cruise control. I suppose one of them is a Scandinavian Thema.

[Bren]

The M56 between the port and Warrington.

 

The worst stretch of motorway I have used - traffic speeding up and slowing down.

 

For no reason. No police, no breakdowns, no roadworks.

 

No wonder there are so many bumps on that stretch.

[purplebargeken]

Silly cow travelling in the nearside lane on the M25 at just under 50mph, I indicate and pull out to overtake, draw alongside and she tries to occupy the same time and space as the Rover. Horn honking and she swerved back after two goes of wanting to be where the Rover was, oblivious and/or just ignoring me. As I go past and then pull in, I see her move over into the second lane and just trundle on. It's not like the Rover is invisible really. 

[wuvvum]

Lancia has just disgraced itself.  Took it to Tesco to get some cat food, came out and in the parking space next to it was a fit young lass in a Kia Pride.  We exchanged compliments on each other's choice of car, then I got in the Lancia, and of course the fucking thing wouldn't start.  I was sat there churning it over and over and getting increasingly annoyed whilst Kia lass was quite obviously trying not to lol.  Of course as soon as she'd left the fucking thing fired straight up.

[purplebargeken]

The car wanted you to talk to her more and at least wrangle a meet up for a drink. You blew it sadly. 

[Timewaster]

The car wanted you to talk to her more and at least wrangle a meet up for a drink. You blew it sadly.

Italian charmer.

[PhilA]

Re cruise- the roads here allow use of it extensively. Jeep will do the equivalent of mash the gas pedal to the carpet if it has to. Gearbox responds accordingly.

 

Downhill it'll back off the throttle until you hit about 5mph over what it was set to, then it'll change down a gear. It'll also gently apply the brakes if it has to but that's only if it changing down a gear or two doesn't work and the vehicle's does continues to increase.

 

One thing that gets me is if I'm on cruise control, approaching a vehicle at maybe 5moh more than then, pull out a lane to pass and invariably they'll speed up as I near their rear quarter. Put my foot down to go by and they slow back down to the original speed once I'm past.

 

I'm thinking this is some aerodynamic nonsense because if I'm on cruise control and someone else gotta to go past me slowly I'll see the instant fuel economy rise as they approach (as the cruise backs off the throttle) then back down as the nose of their vehicle comes about level with the B pillar.

 

Should that happen? The wave of air they're moving out of the way push against my car in a positive fashion?

 

Phil

[chodweaver]

I've noticed the power of the bow wave when my (completely un-aerodynamic) camper is overtaken by equally un-aerodynamic but far more powerful vehicles (artics and curtain siders etc) - apart from the sideways shove as they ease in front, there is also a big increase in drag, stealing 2 - 3 mph (as the camper throttle is already wide open, with nothing more to give) until they are past and pulled in and the benefit of slipstreaming appears.

 

ETA I can't say I've ever noticed a benefit in terms of drag reduction until fully in their slipstream...

 

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[Aston Martin]

A BMW driving through a 20 zone.... Uprooted a tree at 7am and both driver and passenger died.

 

It's horrible that they've died and this makes me sound like an utter cunt, but I can see the headlines now.

"They wouldn't hurt a soul, he was a good lad. Etc"

 

The car has split into 2 ffs. It's a 20 zone because it's a school zone and there's joggers etc around there.

 

https://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/news/hull-east-yorkshire-news/two-men-die-cavendish-road-2784513

[Jazoli]

I doubt there's be many joggers or schoolkids around at 7am mind, unfortunately this happens all the time, someone here managed to jump their car over a 6ft wall on the wrong side of the road and end up on the bank of a river, in a 20 zone, they obviously were going way to fast, it was a shame they walked away unscathed.

[SiC]

Sorry to see you've lost your bearings, but you've been a good partner. Even if I've repaired the tail out of your back twice already.

 

RIP LITTLE SOLDIER

 

[Timewaster]

A school mate of mine had a bright orange Talbot Horizon. In a fairly low speed head on around a blind bend one night it literally fell in half.

No one was hurt but the back seat passengers were left sitting, still strapped in like some sort of fairground ride.

 

Turned out to be a back street cut and shut of the old school pre Vic days.

 

Could have happened to them?

[strangeangel]

Cruise is no good if you are surrounded by helmets who can't maintain a steady speed.

 

Exactly my sentiments. The only thing I regularly drive with such a new-fangled gizmo is the camper, and in reality the only use it gets is when my right knee gets stiff and I need to stretch my leg for a few seconds.

[Cavcraft]

Some hideous, screaming stupid bint with her kid who was walking through a car park yesterday morning and some old bloke (who was reversing out very slowly) ran into them. Must have been all of next-t-sod-all-MPH but the woman was beyond hysterical. She actually made things worse for her poor bloody kid, effed and jeffed at people who tried to help her, then shot out of the car park not wearing a seat belt.

 

Fair play if someone had been hurt, or it'd been deliberate, but she was a fucking idiot and no doubt will probably attempt to claim eleventy million quid in compo.

[Timewaster]

Problem is, when you're stupid, you don't know you're stupid.

 

Reminds me of my ex sister in law. 100% drama queen.

I remember the time she claims she was shot at.

No one else saw a thing. Not even the council guy who was strimming the grass verge at the time.

[chodweaver]

What a tragedy. It was a lovely looking tree.

 

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[Mally]

Problem is, when you're stupid, you don't know you're stupid.

 

 

 

I do!

[GrumpiusMaximus]

I reversed into a car driving behind me in a car park once.  100% my fault.  I got out of the car and walked around to talk to the driver, when the passenger door swung open and I got a mouthful of abuse from the driver's teenage daughter.  

 

The solution?  I shouted back: 'I'm not bloody talking to you, I'm talking to your mother.  Now shut up so we can have an adult conversation.'

 

The driver smiled at that.  We had a conversation and it was all absolutely fine...

[paulplom]

The thing is, when you're stupid, you don't know you're stupid. It's painful only for others. It's the same when you're dead.

[5speedracer]

A BMW driving through a 20 zone.... Uprooted a tree at 7am and both driver and passenger died.

 

It's horrible that they've died and this makes me sound like an utter cunt, but I can see the headlines now.

"They wouldn't hurt a soul, he was a good lad. Etc"

 

The car has split into 2 ffs. It's a 20 zone because it's a school zone and there's joggers etc around there.

 

https://www.hulldailymail.co.uk/news/hull-east-yorkshire-news/two-men-die-cavendish-road-2784513

If that's the damage a Beemer sustains at 20 I'd hate to have a proper accident in one!

 

 

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[rantingYoof]

Cruise is no good if you are surrounded by helmets who can't maintain a steady speed.

A million billion times this.

[strangeangel]

 

Speechless.

[bramz7]

Just came across a gigantic queen wasp in the house. Thankfully it was pretty docile and easy enough to let outside. It must have been an inch and a half long....

 

Unfortunately as I'm definitely not allergic to the stings I'm the one who has to get rid of them.

[Bobthebeard]

^^ There was a huge queen wasp hanging around the caravan most of the day yesterday looking for a nest site I assume. She was docile and easily chased off but kept coming back. I meant her no harm but didn't want a nest anywhere near. She buzzed off eventually to search elsewhere. Unfortunately she went looking round the static next to us and the guy sat out on the decking just belted her with a bottle and killed her.

I was sad. She was only looking for a home, no need to kill her.

[barefoot]

Sorry, I would have killed a Queen Wasp as well.

I go out of my way to usher bees outside, but allowing a QW to nest anywhere near me...

I think not.

 

Ants & wasps, bunch of bastards.

[Bobthebeard]

Sorry, I would have killed a Queen Wasp as well.

I go out of my way to usher bees outside, but allowing a QW to nest anywhere near me...

I think not.

 

Ants & wasps, bunch of bastards.

Dunno.... I tolerate wasps as never been stung unless deliberately trying to swat one. I gave up killing them as a sort of experiment and not been stung since. Mrs Beard hates wasps and they appear to know and sting her for no apparent reason.

[Lacquer Peel]

Wasps do the some of the same work as bees, they're pollinators. They're arseholes but if you care about bees for ecological reasons you should care about wasps too.

[Redfred]

Wasps can do one. Bees I’m ok with, but wasps can feck right off. I tolerate them to an extent but once they start not taking the hint then I get grumpy with them.

 

Ever encountered a wood wasp? Fecking huge things with a stinger that’d put the shiters up even the hardiest of souls, but fortunately I believe they won’t sting. Mind you, if that’s the case then what’s the point of having a stinger that could double up for use in a piercing parlour.

 

 

Not my thumb BTW!