The grumpy thread

[chaseracer]

I hate having a haircut.

 

Me too, which is why I bought a proper set of Wahl clippers about 15 years ago.

 

This explains the style, originality and downright KWALITEE* of my barnet.

[Kiltox]

Which side is that?

 

I'm on the side of "don't pay untrustworthy people a fucktonne of money for something that doesn't exist yet"

 

/homeowner

Then you’ll never manage to buy a new build in most areas - that may be a blessing

[Mr A Lawrence]

missus does my haircuts.

 

makes a damn good job too AND i can get a sneaky, legitimate boobie touch during my "appointment"

[purplebargeken]

It must be a thing for young, fit girlie hairdressers to do to 13 year old lads. My hairdresser was the same, no wonder I'm fucking bald now.

 

Done the Wahl thing for years now, so much easier/cheaper/less hassle.

 

Tons of Turkish barbers round here, same as Turkish shops and restaurants. Shame about the drivers though. They are really shit.

[Parky]

Current contract is two days a week to fulfill contract. Have nothing better to do so am doing four days on it but billing for two. Taking my time means I can do a better, more comprehensive job on it so the client gets a better result.

 

Anyway I get an uplift for getting them in front of potential buyers. Get us meetings, we will pay you extra, etc. So with interest from six clients in Scotland, I decided that instead of bouncing across the highlands, we do a lunch and get the six parties in one place. Nice relaxed environment, one presentation delivered once, much less time out for the guys. Otherwise they would have to overnight the day before, get a hire car or spend loads in cabs and so forth. Prospective clients like the idea which strikes me as sensible and the guy delivering the spiel loves the idea too as much easier for him. And whilst lunch might cost a bit, it probably won’t be any more than a couple of hotel rooms and a load of cabs so expenses won’t be outrageous.

 

So, six people in, that’s six lots of uplift you owe me.

 

Actually Parky, because it is only one meeting, we are only going to pay you for one.

 

Needless to say, the poor spiel deliverer is going to be doing nothing but individual meetings in far flung places from now on....

[Kiltox]

That’s just pure cuntery

[GrumpiusMaximus]

That’s what you get for joined-up thinking!

 

Speaking of which, my employer wants to do live Internet radio, bought all the gear, are promoting it to the staff.

 

Guess who has had no input and hasn’t been asked about it or been consulted? Guess who the one trained sound engineer is, who does a lot of sound engineering at work is? That’s right. That’d be me.

[loserone]

Then you’ll never manage to buy a new build in most areas - that may be a blessing

Certainly is

[captain_70s]

yes and 4 stud wheels

Mine has 4 stud wheels and discs!

[Parky]

That’s what you get for joined-up thinking!

Speaking of which, my employer wants to do live Internet radio, bought all the gear, are promoting it to the staff.

Guess who has had no input and hasn’t been asked about it or been consulted? Guess who the one trained sound engineer is, who does a lot of sound engineering at work is? That’s right. That’d be me.

Oh I know that feeling. Mine wants to do a push into a new sector of the market they haven’t been to before. It’s one I know well having spent ten years covering. Lots of data, contacts, goodwill, and a large number of favours owed would make me the ideal person to spearhead it for them.

 

Sorry Parky, we don’t think you are quite right for the role. However if you have a list of contacts, that would be brilliant if we could have that!

 

Yeah, righto......

[oldcars]

I went to get my hair cut on my lunch hour the other day, ended up in some wretched hipster barber shop.

 

These people seemed like the type of weapons who drive about in a pineappled VW and the sticker bombed hairdryer confirmed my suspicions.

 

The chap sat me in the chair and spoke some nonsense at me about Music, finally he asked me what I wanted doing, "short back and sides pal". Some further timewasting ensued and he fucked about changing an LP over.

 

"Do you want a cold craft beer dude?" No, no I don't, it's half 12 on a Monday afternoon and I'd like my hair cut you ridiculous cliched gimp. Of course I just politely declined.

 

About 20 minutes had passed between me entering the shop and a pair of clippers being produced. Brief periods of hair cutting were interspersed amongst a never-ending barrage of absolutely garbage patter. It seemed like an eternity and was one of the most frustrating experiences of my life.

 

I was late back to work and was relieved of 15 fucking quid for the privelage. Turkish barbers from now on.

Always wonders how you drink a fecking beer in these places. When i get a haircut they put a sheet thing over my shoulders.

[Bren]

Sold my car. Unfortunately the idiot lights came back on after the deal was done, so I told the chap to bring the car back. I offered him his money back but he liked the car - he asked for £100 back.

The car had been fine - until then. He was a very nice chap.

[mrbenn]

Just had my car insurance renewals through (yes, plural. I've got two policies expiring within days of each other....).

 

First one, daily car, 6 years NCB, price gone up by £90 (over 20%). No claims, convictions etc in the last year, no changes to car.

 

Second car, price gone up by £230 (over 50%) despite another year NCB. Managed to chip £100 off but that seems to be a fairly shocking rise.

 

Only difference is that I was made redundant (company went into liquidation) recently. All that really means is I'm using the car less, and they're not covering for commuting. Oh yes, and I can't afford huge increases in premiums.

 

Anyone else had similar increases in premiums recently?

[CortinaDave]

arrived home after an early shift to grab a couple of hours kip to find the council giving the nutter upstairs new windows. So no chance of sleep as its hammering and banging central

 

More annoyingly though theyve filled my drive with workies transit vans so i cant get in it. Last time they did work on his house they left a skip over my drive for a fortnight.

 

Pisses me off as if i park where im not supposed to on council land i get fined, yet they just take over mine?

[andy18s]

Sold my car. Unfortunately the idiot lights came back on after the deal was done, so I told the chap to bring the car back. I offered him his money back but he liked the car - he asked for £100 back.

The car had been fine - until then. He was a very nice chap.

That's not a bad result if you're happy with the sale price

Someone else's concern now....

[sierraman]

Why oh why did Ford fit about half a dozen different wheel cylinders to Mk2 Mondeos? It must have cost them money to fuck about have very slightly different types made. Idiots.

[DodgeRover]

Just had my car insurance renewals through (yes, plural. I've got two policies expiring within days of each other....).

 

First one, daily car, 6 years NCB, price gone up by £90 (over 20%). No claims, convictions etc in the last year, no changes to car.

 

Second car, price gone up by £230 (over 50%) despite another year NCB. Managed to chip £100 off but that seems to be a fairly shocking rise.

 

Only difference is that I was made redundant (company went into liquidation) recently. All that really means is I'm using the car less, and they're not covering for commuting. Oh yes, and I can't afford huge increases in premiums.

 

Anyone else had similar increases in premiums recently?

Unemployed = higher premiums

[alcyonecorporation]

Oh I know that feeling. Mine wants to do a push into a new sector of the market they haven’t been to before. It’s one I know well having spent ten years covering. Lots of data, contacts, goodwill, and a large number of favours owed would make me the ideal person to spearhead it for them.

 

Sorry Parky, we don’t think you are quite right for the role. However if you have a list of contacts, that would be brilliant if we could have that!

 

Yeah, righto......

Do what my colleague did when he was ousted from his last job in very similar circumstances.

 

Give them a CD full of 'contacts', take out all of the contents but leave the directories in place. I had a proper chuffin LOL at that. Pack out one directory with RAW images of geese to give a disproportionate media size.

 

 

Or refuse because of GDPR then slacken off all the fixings in the bosses' chair, a trick I learned many moons ago at the satanic mill call centre I used to work in.

[Bren]

Sold my car. Unfortunately the idiot lights came back on after the deal was done, so I told the chap to bring the car back. I offered him his money back but he liked the car - he asked for £100 back.

The car had been fine - until then. He was a very nice chap.

I was happy to refund him his money. However he liked the car very much so was happy with some money back. Oddly the car had been fine since having the back brakes done - it must have sensed it was going to a new home and spat its dummy out.

[plasticvandan]

Just had my car insurance renewals through (yes, plural. I've got two policies expiring within days of each other....).

 

First one, daily car, 6 years NCB, price gone up by £90 (over 20%). No claims, convictions etc in the last year, no changes to car.

 

Second car, price gone up by £230 (over 50%) despite another year NCB. Managed to chip £100 off but that seems to be a fairly shocking rise.

 

Only difference is that I was made redundant (company went into liquidation) recently. All that really means is I'm using the car less, and they're not covering for commuting. Oh yes, and I can't afford huge increases in premiums.

 

Anyone else had similar increases in premiums recently?

being unemployed will bump the price up,been there before.

[Parky]

Do what my colleague did when he was ousted from his last job in very similar circumstances.Give them a CD full of 'contacts', take out all of the contents but leave the directories in place. I had a proper chuffin LOL at that. Pack out one directory with RAW images of geese to give a disproportionate media size.Or refuse because of GDPR then slacken off all the fixings in the bosses' chair, a trick I learned many moons ago at the satanic mill call centre I used to work in.

Spreadsheets do get corrupted by Geese don’t they? Question is what sort of Geese? Canada?

[angle]

We've just had an email round at work saying that gloves are now a requirement for any site visits where there's roadworks happening. Why? Because someone in Cumbria has been going around melting Stanley knife blades into the handles on temporary road signs and into the tops of traffic cones. Fuck's sake.

[Parky]

Honestly, what goes through some people’s minds?

 

The assumption is it’s kids, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it’s a well respected member of the local W.I who has got a massive problem with road works.

[danthecapriman]

We've just had an email round at work saying that gloves are now a requirement for any site visits where there's roadworks happening. Why? Because someone in Cumbria has been going around melting Stanley knife blades into the handles on temporary road signs and into the tops of traffic cones. Fuck's sake.

There’s some real pricks about these days. We had a spate of our substation gate locks having needles (the sort for injecting drugs) jammed into the ends of them so as you push the key into the lock the needle went into your fingers. Absolutely disgusting cuntish behaviour but the only reason you’d do it is to be a cunt. Some people...

Luckily it seems to have stopped lately though I have heard of the same being done to petrol station pump triggers.

[Supernaut]

I've been feeling particularly nihilistic the past few days.

 

I find myself wondering why I even fucking bother with anything. The most successful people, it seems, are the aggressive, bullshitting, bullying pricks of this world. Even the leader of the world's most powerful country (at the moment), who was elected to that position is an ignorant, indecisive, abhorrent, bigoted, lying tangerine-coloured gibbon.

 

I've been PM'd a link to a job I should really apply for as it would be a great step in my career. Why, though? I could pour my heart and soul into the application and some bullshitting, buzzword-using arsehole will get it instead of me guaranteed.

 

What have I got to show for going through this life quietly and politely? FUCK ALL.

 

Why is aggression and fuckwittery seemingly worthy of rewards and success?

 

Why bother trying to be a good person and improve the world? The people I'd be leaving the world to will be all the utterly vapid ignorant CUNTS anyway, who couldn't care less about anything other than the latest tweet from their favourite air-headed celebrity who's famous simply for being famous rather than talented.

 

It maybe doesn't help that I've been re-watching some Monkey Dust today. Bloody hell that's bleak.

All I can think about is Idiocracy, and how it really does appear to be happening.

[Guest Hooli]

Idiocracy happened years ago, I think it started to take hold in the 70s.

 

All I can say for job applications is get every buzz word from the job description into your application. I'm pretty good at getting interviews by doing that, yesterday was the first job offer in about 2 years of trying though.

[eddyramrod]

Sadly, I have to agree.  I try not to think about it, which is difficult as I have way too much thinking time at the moment!  What's more or less worked for me in life is, find a rut that you're relatively happy with, that more or less pays the bills, and just plough that without bothering too much about anyone else.

[mrbenn]

Unemployed = higher premiums

 

 

being unemployed will bump the price up,been there before.

 

Spoke to another chap later and gather it had added approx £100 to the premiums. Kind of ironic.

 

Have sucked it up for car 1. Car 2 is now with another company for £125 less than last year, £350 less than the original renewal firgure for this year. Go figure!

[Guest Hooli]

Unemployed means you've got more time to drive, they ignore the idea you won't be able to afford too.

[iainrcz]

Unfortunately the world loves a wanker.

I discovered this when I was in my late teens and early 20s with women (I was interested in then before, but too busy running around a football pitch to worry)

 

Despite the fact you could see the blokes they went for were grade A strokers it didn't seem to matter.

I've been feeling particularly nihilistic the past few days.

 

I find myself wondering why I even fucking bother with anything. The most successful people, it seems, are the aggressive, bullshitting, bullying pricks of this world. Even the leader of the world's most powerful country (at the moment), who was elected to that position is an ignorant, indecisive, abhorrent, bigoted, lying tangerine-coloured gibbon.

 

I've been PM'd a link to a job I should really apply for as it would be a great step in my career. Why, though? I could pour my heart and soul into the application and some bullshitting, buzzword-using arsehole will get it instead of me guaranteed.

 

What have I got to show for going through this life quietly and politely? FUCK ALL.

 

Why is aggression and fuckwittery seemingly worthy of rewards and success?

 

Why bother trying to be a good person and improve the world? The people I'd be leaving the world to will be all the utterly vapid ignorant CUNTS anyway, who couldn't care less about anything other than the latest tweet from their favourite air-headed celebrity who's famous simply for being famous rather than talented.

 

It maybe doesn't help that I've been re-watching some Monkey Dust today. Bloody hell that's bleak.

All I can think about is Idiocracy, and how it really does appear to be happening.

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