The grumpy thread

[Pillock]

Blue lights flashing, kingsmill inbound. Fuck sake

Shit Bub, hope it's nothing too serious!

[clayts450]

Blue lights flashing, kingsmill inbound. Fuck sake

 

Not like - whats up Bub ?

[bub2006]

Bad leg gave way. Felt down stairs. Fucked me wrist,neck,shoulder and back. Now also passing blood out of orifices what shouldn't pass blood

[dozeydustman]

Bloody hell Bub, I hope you're ok

[purplebargeken]

You dopey twat. Kingsmill is a loaf of bread innit?

[purplebargeken]

Bub is almost indestructible. 

 

I do believe we were separated at birth. Maybe.

[clayts450]

Falling down stairs is bloody lethal at the best of times.

 

It really is a lottery as to how it'll end up, and the worst bit is how long it all takes, like in slow motion  - with one working leg the odds of damage/breakage must increase.

 

Hope everything is in order, Bub, and they've found you some rubber bungs.

[bub2006]

I'll manage. Survived worse. Just a bit banged up and feeling low.

[Guest Hooli]

Blue lights flashing, kingsmill inbound. Fuck sake

 

 

You silly sod Bub, stop doing that!

 

 

Although I did laugh when I first say your post & thought 'that's a bit over the top for an emergency bread delivery'.

[bub2006]

I needed something to wrap round my bits of pig.

[oldcars]

I needed something to wrap round my bits of pig.

Take care Bub, sounds nasty.

 

As for something to rap around you pig this would do 

[Remspoor]

Off work due to an inner ear infection, an ideal time to catch up on my accounts, except the laptop has decided it's an ideal time to update windows 10 with massive downloads. Bloody thing, I'm only using it rather than the proper PC running Linux as it's in the coolest part of the house.

 

The coolest part of your house is???? The Garage. That art is always cool for an Autoshiter. Unless you do repairs in your front garden.

[dozeydustman]

I really don't understand what is wrong with my family? My parents are on holiday and asked if we can pop up and see my grandmother while they're away. We only had 1 day over the 3 weeks where we could get up to Kent, put it on the calendar as it's also my brother's birthday.

Aunt has booked my nan all day carers for Sunday who won't let any guests in, and it's my fault as she didn't know (even though it's on mine, my mum & dad's, my brother's and my nan's calendars).

[3VOM]

Oh and can I raise a bug about the grammar on that '1 warning points' text? Do we have an autoshite jira project?

All your warning points are belong to us.

[dave21478]

This new 80kph speed limit is doing my fucking box in.

 

Initially when it was proposed I wasnt fussed - the roads locally and to work are so twisty and bumpy its a struggle to hit 90 anyway, and I had assumed that nobody would obey it on better roads, since nobody obeyed the 90 limit anyway, but no....most folk are sticking to the new 80 limit and its fucking annoying....its just slow enough to be irritating and in the pickup its right at the point in the rev range where its off boost in fifth gear so much pudding stirring is required at hills etc.

 

But we are all so much safer now though eh? yeah, not at all...in fact, the roads are significantly worse as tailgating is even worse than previously.

[Guest Hooli]

I couldn't see the point in that at all, must be annoying as hell.

[purplebargeken]

I needed something to wrap round my bits of pig. 

 

Waaaay too much information there Bub, way too much.

[bub2006]

You love me really

[GrumpiusMaximus]

Autoshite mods go Minority Report. Who'd a thunk it...

 

 

Fuck.  I was trying to work out how to wangle that reference in.  Well done sir.

[Kiltox]

jira project?

You can get yourself right to fuck with that kind of talk

 

Ffffuuuuuuu

[beko1987]

You can get yourself right to fuck with that kind of talk

 

Ffffuuuuuuu

Ill make a new build and close the old one down tomorrow boss

[Cavcraft]

Dear The Train Line, soz I rang your information desk to actually enquire about train times and costs. Clearly between sighing, a steadfast refusal to use any words like 'please' or thank you' and the apparent conception polite customer enquiries are probably interrupting you from torturing small mammals in your work time, you aren't really a help line at all.

To that end, please accept my humblest apologies for bothering you and note my most sincere and utmost desire for yourselves to SHOVE YOUR FUCKING TRAINS UP YOUR ARSE, YOU MISERABLE TWATS.

[Guest Hooli]

Dear The Train Line, soz I rang your information desk to actually enquire about train times and costs. Clearly between sighing, a steadfast refusal to use any words like 'please' or thank you' and the apparent conception polite customer enquiries are probably interrupting you from torturing small mammals in your work time, you aren't really a help line at all.

To that end, please accept my humblest apologies for bothering you and note my most sincere and utmost desire for yourselves to SHOVE YOUR FUCKING TRAINS UP YOUR ARSE, YOU MISERABLE TWATS.

 

Why was I reading that to this tune? https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x56w8d1

[SiC]

You can get yourself right to fuck with that kind of talk

 

Ffffuuuuuuu

+ Ninety Nine Quadzillion percent.

 

JIRA and especially Atlassian can get right in the sea.

 

As a good marker of how shit Confluence is, if you paste a link to a article on the mobile site, it's inaccessible using a desktop browser. It's almost that the concept of responsive web design has passed them by.

[Zelandeth]

This new 80kph speed limit is doing my fucking box in.

 

 

That would be an absolute PAIN in an early Jag XJ...The gearbox clicks into overdrive at exactly 50mph...and drops back out at exactly 49mph...With a limit that's 49.7mph if my math is right...That would get maddening in a hurry.

[chaseracer]

I'll manage. Survived worse. Just a bit banged up and feeling low.

 

Christ Bubster, what are we going to do with you? 

 

Up for a visit this weekend?

[bub2006]

I'm not well enough to go visiting bit feel free to pop up Mr racer

[MikeR]

F in plastic back door has bust ,

 

the latch jammed into the latch plate ...

 

umpteen years of ..bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang

 

interspersed with " dont bang the F in door !!  "  and a sore throat

 

this finished off the 2nd replacement gearbox .....

 

took a crow bar and 2 of us the bend and shove  the door to  open it

 

now the door relies on its bolts , 2 dogs to guard   and twist to  latch and open  ........

[chaseracer]

I'm not well enough to go visiting bit feel free to pop up Mr racer

 

I did mean it that way round, yer Derbyshire dipstick 

[sierraman]

Other half has managed to run out of fuel again. "It said 33 miles on the trip computer!" The gauge was sat on the fucking needle surprise surprise. Its the cars fault apparently. Idiot.