The grumpy thread

[Mally]

Property across from me on the market.

Sold! ......fell through.

Advised by estate agent to reduce price by £5,000, did so and got an offer instantly.

A few days later a bloke in a Saab convertible pulled up, I knew him slightly, well known local car salesman.

Whats with the Bungalow sale do you know?

Told him the story as I knew it.

I've been twice to the agent and offered the full asking price, but they said it's sold.

Gave him a direct phone number.

He now lives there, which is a pain to me, as he has loads of cars, he is however a nice bloke with a decent reputation.

[bramz7]

My London commute is really getting me down. Like, the worst I have ever felt about it. I can put up with cancelled trains, but the pathetic and vague delays each day are soul destroying. That, and the incredibly selfish behaviour they spawn.

 

Like the twat who decided to block an entire luggage rack so that he could watch Breaking Bad on his iPad, while everyone else had to weave around him.

If you commute on the same route I work on, yeah it's been crap the past few days. The points and TCs are failing left right and centre.

I've been lucky enough to avoid it during my shifts but feel for both my colleagues and passengers during it, it can't be fun.

[omegod]

Push it into the road and cut all four valve stems.

 

Answer is : jack it up and drain the oil from the sump neatly, daft twat will likely drive of and come to a shuddering halt 1/4 a mile away 

[BorniteIdentity]

My London commute is really getting me down. Like, the worst I have ever felt about it. I can put up with cancelled trains, but the pathetic and vague delays each day are soul destroying.

I look at the departure boards out of St Albans City each morning (Thameslink/Midland Mainline)

 

It is an unmitigated shit shambles.

 

The amount of lives and livelihoods that have been turned upside down over the last month is unforgivable imho.

 

Hope things improve for you.

[Pillock]

Answer is : jack it up and drain the oil from the sump neatly, daft twat will likely drive of and come to a shuddering halt 1/4 a mile away

Remember to unplug the oil pressure sensor too, otherwise it spoils the fun.

[fordperv]

Bloody school parental behaviour nonsense continues.

 

Out working on the car (well, just tidying up to go cool off actually), car pulls into the drive. Parent gets out, starts wandering off to the school.

 

I politely made my presence known and asked if they'd mind parking somewhere other than my driveway.

 

Their response - not even stopping walking or removing iPhone from their ear -

 

"Oh go f*** yourself mate!"

 

Oh well, the four month out of date MOT, four bald tyres (one down to the cords) and lack of insurance have been reported to the police.

It would have been such a shame if they came back to find it on axle stands with you waiting with the plod either that or release the handbrake and roll it in the middle of the road

[Parky]

A seven foot wide plank of wood with nails in that you are using to spike your lawn (ahem) could accidentally be lying across the drive around 3.15pm tomorrow.

 

That would be an interesting one wouldn’t it? Wonder what Plod would make of that?

[SierraMikeHotel]

Mental health can continue to fuck off.

 

Cancer can fucking fuck right off, with a big fuck off resounding in its ear.

 

Not me, not Mrs H, but someone close to us. This is the worst.

[DodgeRover]

Bloody school parental behaviour nonsense continues.

 

Out working on the car (well, just tidying up to go cool off actually), car pulls into the drive. Parent gets out, starts wandering off to the school.

 

I politely made my presence known and asked if they'd mind parking somewhere other than my driveway.

 

Their response - not even stopping walking or removing iPhone from their ear -

 

"Oh go f*** yourself mate!"

 

Oh well, the four month out of date MOT, four bald tyres (one down to the cords) and lack of insurance have been reported to the police.

I admire your restraint, if I had been you I would be stuck with a scrapper on the drive with every window smashed and a nail in every tyre...

[gm]

Be careful, he's obviously a selfish arsehole and knows where you live

[Wack]

Norfolk has a suicidal animal group I swear...... the amount of various animals I hit, swerved to avoid or ran over remnants of beggars belief.

Best one was Uxbridge A40 though. On my way home late one night, under bridge going downhill past the speed camera and cows everywhere at the bottom on the curve....... swerved all over the place, missed em and ended up facing wrong way. Got onto side of road and called police.

Plod - hello......

Me - hi, there's a problem here on the A40 at Uxbridge by the speed camera. There's cows all over the road...... I've counted at least 13 of them

Plod - Sir, its a motorway, its built for cars......

Me - COWS

Plod - what

Me - C. O. W. S. - Moooooooooooo

Plod - bugger! OK see if you can warn anyone..... I'll radio through.

The guys showing up thought it was a prank at first. Local farmers field had some scrotes wrecking the fence so the herd went for a wander.

I left the 2 traffic bods to practice their cowboy skills...... it was 4am by then.

I was on the M25 about 10 years ago , rush hour , saw some cows standing on the hard shoulder so I stopped , as I walked towards them they went back in the field through the broken fence so I rang through on the emergency phone to let them know , what got me was they had no idea, more than a thousand cars must've gone past and nobody had even reported it , couldn't give a shit about somebody being killed by a cow as long as it wasn't them

[yes oui si]

As with so many professions, the few spoil it for the many.

 

My father has been an estate agent man and boy. He likes meeting people, helping people and satisfying his customers.

 

There are no clackety shoes, no cliches and - at long fucking last - no ties in his operation.

 

What people resent in estate agents is the fact they have to pay to do something that, on the surface, looks simple. Bang a board up, stick it online and wait for the phone calls. The reality is far different. I would say in 90% of private sale cases, yes you save yourself £5k in fees - but an agent would have got you at least £5k more.

 

Good luck with the sale, Pillock. If you ever need any help or advice then please shout.

It's the ruination of the housing market for anyone who doesn't have help from their parents and/or a sizeable income which I despise. All are complicit, all are guilty.

[inconsistant]

You could wash his car for him. That would totally fuck with his head.

 

(One bucket and fairy liquid mind)

[Pillock]

 

 

As with so many professions, the few spoil it for the many.

 

My father has been an estate agent man and boy. He likes meeting people, helping people and satisfying his customers.

 

There are no clackety shoes, no cliches and - at long fucking last - no ties in his operation.

 

What people resent in estate agents is the fact they have to pay to do something that, on the surface, looks simple. Bang a board up, stick it online and wait for the phone calls. The reality is far different. I would say in 90% of private sale cases, yes you save yourself £5k in fees - but an agent would have got you at least £5k more.

 

Good luck with the sale, Pillock. If you ever need any help or advice then please shout.

Thanks BI - there may well be questions as this is the first time I've ever dealt with an estate agent, and my sister who is the only other executor has only ever bought one house and never sold.

 

Regardless, we didn't expect one of them to not even know which client they were texting, and the LOL was the icing on the cake.

 

"Accidentally sold ur house for 58p. OOPSIE"

 

I do agree with your idea of the resentment for invisible work. This guy went to lengths to explain how they market something when he was talking about fees so he was obviously justifying it based on previous experience. TBH I'm just in it for the painless sale, not interested in giving it away but not going to drag it out for every last penny. Mum would roll her eyes at that thought. I also have no idea how to sell houses so am quite happy to pay someone who does.

[Zelandeth]

Be careful, he's obviously a selfish arsehole and knows where you live

She is a selfish twat who knows where I live. Can't be more than 20 - hence as a bloke in my mid 30s and a scruffy looking bugger, my trying to keep a low profile, being polite, and doing everything I can to not inflame any situation as I know it'll only blow up in my face.

 

She's only gone and reported *me* to the plod for harassment apparently...had the knock at the door while I was in the middle of dinner.

 

FFS.

[STUNO]

Sheep (and cattle) in my country always help the police  

 

 

mostly !

 

[BorniteIdentity]

It's the ruination of the housing market for anyone who doesn't have help from their parents and/or a sizeable income which I despise. All are complicit, all are guilty.

 

Right.

 

So we're absolutely clear, my Father and thousands of other estate agents are responsible for escalating house prices?  Not market forces, the tax system, quantitative easing, insufficient building, a fundamental lack of supply, a record period of low interest rates, a record period of economic stability, the increased availability of mortgages or any other widely accepted factor?

 

No.

 

The man responsible for this ridiculous situation is called Alan.  He's 59, drives a Mazda 6 and enjoys a week's holiday in Gran Canaria each year.

 

Of course, you're absolutely right!  What all agents should do is completely disregard market factors and offer vendors valuations in line with 1981 prices.  If they all get together and agree to the same practice, we'll all be buying properties with our dinner money before the year's up.

 

Fuck you, Alan.  You've taken the piss for the last time.  

 

Viva la Revolution.

[sierraman]

Alan did it. Along with the cashier in my local NatWest that was responsible for the banking crisis.

[Cavcraft]

Don’t realky know what you’re moaning about, tbh. My cat is going through his French revolutionary phase again.

 

[DodgeRover]

Whilst we are whinging about estate agents when did it become mandatory for potential buyers to make viewing appointments for properties that are unsuitable, why bother viewing a 3 bed when you want 4 or 5

[Pillock]

YEAH ALAN YOU GET TO FUCK.

 

Wow, sorry, dunno what came over me.

 

Also, I've noticed the price of mozzarella balls in Sainsbury's been slowly creeping up... 50p, 55p, 60p now. I'm gonna have a right go at the lass on the checkout, deffo her fault.

[Pillock]

Whilst we are whinging about estate agents when did it become mandatory for potential buyers to make viewing appointments for properties that are unsuitable, why bother viewing a 3 bed when you want 4 or 5

Apparently it's also common for people to do viewings who haven't got a house on the market, and no mortgage agreement.

The agent we spoke to offered to weed those out to save wasted time.

[BorniteIdentity]

Apparently it's also common for people to do viewings who haven't got a house on the market, and no mortgage agreement.

The agent we spoke to offered to weed those out to save wasted time.

 

Quite so.  They will just say "we expect this property to be very popular and, as such, the vendor has only asked us to show it to people in a proceed-able position'.

 

However, the law does mean that if they want to make an offer - it has to be presented to you - at which time you will want them to see it to make sure they mean business.  

 

The whole thing is backwards, but it's not in anyone's interest to change the law sadly.

[AMC Rebel]

Every few minutes on this station a woman is telling us to stay hydrated and carry water WTAF? How about you run some fecking trains on time and I’ll look after my fuckin water requirements?

[Pillock]

Every few minutes on this station a woman is telling us to stay hydrated and carry water WTAF? How about you run some fecking trains on time and I’ll look after my fuckin water requirements?

They have a daily competition to get people as hydrated as possible before ramming the trains so full through cancellations and short trains that you can't possibly make it to the toilet.

 

My sis went from Manchester to Norwich yesterday, should be a straight through train and five hours. I was watching her Facebook updates as the train broke, got stuck, had to split in half, then terminated short. The next train had overtaken them so an hour wait for the one after which wasn't really designed to take two trains worth of people etc etc.

[sierraman]

Apparently it's also common for people to do viewings who haven't got a house on the market, and no mortgage agreement.

The agent we spoke to offered to weed those out to save wasted time.

When I was selling ours, I told them if the buyers werent in a position to buy I.e. had an AIP or cash then I didn't want to know.

 

So long as they put it on Zoopla etc and pass any enquiries on, go with the cheapest. The local one wanted £900, the lairy tossers at one of the bigger agencies wanted £3000. How they get any business is anyone's guess.

[chaseracer]

TBH I'm just in it for the painless sale, not interested in giving it away but not going to drag it out for every last penny. Mum would roll her eyes at that thought. I also have no idea how to sell houses so am quite happy to pay someone who does.

 

Then PLEASE consider the auction route.  

 

You can set a reserve price.  Bidders must be 'in funds', sales are legally binding and contracts are exchanged at the fall of the hammer.

 

Saves a metric fucktonne of grief.  Wish we'd done it sooner with the monster-in-law's gaff.

[yes oui si]

Right.

 

So we're absolutely clear, my Father and thousands of other estate agents are responsible for escalating house prices? Not market forces, the tax system, quantitative easing, insufficient building, a fundamental lack of supply, a record period of low interest rates, a record period of economic stability, the increased availability of mortgages or any other widely accepted factor?

 

No.

 

The man responsible for this ridiculous situation is called Alan. He's 59, drives a Mazda 6 and enjoys a week's holiday in Gran Canaria each year.

 

Of course, you're absolutely right! What all agents should do is completely disregard market factors and offer vendors valuations in line with 1981 prices. If they all get together and agree to the same practice, we'll all be buying properties with our dinner money before the year's up.

 

Fuck you, Alan. You've taken the piss for the last time.

 

Viva la Revolution.

Calm down, princess.

 

I didn't say they were solely responsible, did I?

 

I didn't say that prices should remain static, did I?

 

When you incentivise higher selling prices via percentage-led fees and commission-based earnings rather than natural growth caused by other factors then you get the unnatural rise in house prices which we saw from the mid nineties through to the 2008 crash, and the rises since.

 

Average earnings here: £14k

Average rental cost of a 2 bedroom place here: £475/month

Average house price here: £125k

 

All Median, not Mean.

 

If you're reeeeaaallllly lucky you might get a £60k mortgage on your £14k earnings, which is fantastic because it means you only need to save twenty grand in order to be able to afford the cheapest two bedroom place around (which is in an area where you will literally find used needles in your garden).

 

Twenty grand is easy to save when you take home £1k a month and you're renting the cheapest place (£425/m) within ten miles of where you work, isn't it?

[sierraman]

No chance. I think you'd have your work cut out to save £2,000.

 

But that's by the by, speculative demand and low interest rates has fuelled the latest 'spike' in house prices. I genuinely feel for my kids, neither of is are in a position to put funds away for them for when they are in their twenties or whatever, god knows how much a house will be by then.

 

I'd guess though by the time they are in their 20's renting won't have this bizarre stigma attached to it like people seem to attach to it now. A mate of mine recently rented a 3 bed house, really nice part of town, landlord wants a long-term tenant in, he's having the place rewired and a new boiler put in. If some nutters move in next door he can clear off at a months notice plus he isn't getting the bill for the thick end of 10 grand for the renovation work. Doesn't sound a terrible deal at all to me.

[Parky]

It’s very normal in other countries. German friends of mine have never owned a property but there isn’t the whole “must get on the ladder” mentality. As a result the rental market is large and well regulated and funnily enough German House prices have remained fairly sensible compared to ours.

 

We will go the same way. I know investors with 200 rental properties - sure they are making lots of money out of their risk taking strategy but really, one guy owning 200 flats and houses? That’s really not fair. I think people should be allowed to buy a rental investment, but only one or two in order to free up some of the supply for everyone else.

 

Look at Cornwall. Some towns have virtually no properties for the locals as townies have bought them all as holiday lets. That can’t go on indefinitely.