The grumpy thread

[Lacquer Peel]

  On 29/11/2017 at 13:18, IainL said:

A remap will cause excessive smoke. Something to do with the standard map holding something back which would normally cause these fumes.

Only if you hoof it.

[sierraman]

Nurburgring stickers as well...

[SiC]

Or have a crappy add-on diesel mod box

[cpjitservices]

  On 29/11/2017 at 13:07, sierraman said:

When I had a diesel I spent time making sure the smoke was at a minimum. Tell the world your injectors are fucked. Maybe ‘Because Fuel Injectors are tired...’ might be a good one. What are these infernal whooshing things that you hear though?

 

There’s a few testers on here, do you get many presenting the car for the test with shit mods like this?

Dump Valve? 

[cort16]

I used to see loads of really unlikely cars with Nurburgring stickers in around here. Old micras and hondas jazzes driven by old biffers with ring stickers on . Weird. I eventually figured out it was a sticker of Arran not the Nurburgring .

[dollywobbler]

  On 29/11/2017 at 12:36, cort16 said:

I’ve seen a few dirty diesel window stickers.

I suspect it’s an attempt at a statement against hybrids and electric cars. It might as well say I am stoopid.

 

That whole rollin coal thing in the states is even more stupid . Dumping diesel into the exhaust just to create big clouds of black smoke makes it an almost certainty the driver believes in a flat earth .

 

I must admit, I've taken a strange fascination in the Top Truck Challenge that Motor Trend runs. It's basically a bunch of rednecks proving they don't know how to drive their 1000bhp diesel trucks.

[meggersdog]

  On 29/11/2017 at 13:07, sierraman said:

 

There’s a few testers on here, do you get many presenting the car for the test with shit mods like this?

Had some VAG shit* just the other day I failed on excessive smoke.Nothing to do with mods it was the wrong car for the owner.Done 3k miles in a year and never above 40mph.A clean air filter some snake oil injector cleaner and a damn good thrashing sorted it.

Usually around here smokey diesels are down to split intercooler pipes.

A couple of years ago I did have a car presented with a 3 foot wide "glastonbury parking" sticker right across the windscreen (in December).

[loserone]

  On 29/11/2017 at 16:24, cort16 said:

I used to see loads of really unlikely cars with Nurburgring stickers in around here. Old micras and hondas jazzes driven by old biffers with ring stickers on . Weird. I eventually figured out it was a sticker of Arran not the Nurburgring .

I used to have the outline of Skye on my MX5

[beko1987]

I quite like a good power cloud or two where warranted! I made a nice one picking my new gooner up when it warmed up

[twosmoke300]

Power cloud ! Behave !

[scaryoldcortina]

Lol..

 

Saw a corsa 1.2 with a sticker that read "Black smoke don't mean it's broken"

 

 

Except it does. Black smoke from a petrol engine usually means it's on fire.

[vulgalour]

I'm hip.  I'm cool.  I'm down wit' the youth.

 

[cobblers]

there's some cretin down the street from me with a stock 1.4 5 door 52 plate fiesta with "#POORFINANCIALDECISION" and "No fat chicks, car will scrape" stickers on the back. The car is completely unmodified other than these stickers.

[Guest Hooli]

I'm saying nowt, I used to have 'lower than your nan's nipples' written in tippex on the back of a XR4i with cut springs.

[cort16]

I understand that it's difficult for big lorries to get out of junctions and busy roundabouts sometimes but do they blatantly need to pull right out in front of you like not two fucks given?

I was driving down the road this morning doing about 50, no cars behind me and I see a lorry at a junction and I'm thinking he's not going to pull out is he? Then he pulls out and I didn't crash and die but I had brake hard and physically stop the car.

A lorry then did the same to me on a roundabout at my work. it seems to happen to me loads just now their thinking seems to be if this isn't going to cause a huge RTA then I'm just going to go.

[Split_Pin]

I follow a chap on Flickr who appears to work for Copart and he photographs a lot of the cars which come through the system. There have been an increasing number of obviously undamaged cars being sent straight for scrap via the current manufacturers Scrappage Scheme. Latest is an 09 plate Clio, long MOT, looked mint. Its not his fault, I would suggest that he despairs as much as the next person.

 

I am sometimes ashamed at the selfish wastefulness of the Western world. I subscribe to 4 or 5 You Tubers from Russia and one is from Latvia and the work they do to resurrect cars is amazing. These cars almost certainly be thrown away in the UK.

 

One reason why I like this place, fix it don't bin it.

[Guest Hooli]

  On 29/11/2017 at 20:10, cort16 said:

I understand that it's difficult for big lorries to get out of junctions and busy roundabouts sometimes but do they blatantly need to pull right out in front of you like not two fucks given?

I was driving down the road this morning doing about 50, no cars behind me and I see a lorry at a junction and I'm thinking he's not going to pull out is he? Then he pulls out and I didn't crash and die but I had brake hard and physically stop the car.

A lorry then did the same to me on a roundabout at my work. it seems to happen to me loads just now their thinking seems to be if this isn't going to cause a huge RTA then I'm just going to go.

 

Yup, cause they can.

 

Plus blind spots which you can loose another truck in & lazy steering wheel attendants who don't give a toss.

[Craig the Princess]

On the subject of strange young team fads what's with the smoked effect number plates every blinged up BMW or Mercedes has?

[Guest Hooli]

Camera proof innit?

 

 

We 'misted' them with accidental* overspray in my day.

[Coprolalia]

  On 29/11/2017 at 18:31, twosmoke300 said:

Power cloud ! Behave !

Power cloud? That's what I leave behind after a working lunch.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

  On 29/11/2017 at 20:11, IainL said:

I follow a chap on Flickr who appears to work for Copart and he photographs a lot of the cars which come through the system. There have been an increasing number of obviously undamaged cars being sent straight for scrap via the current manufacturers Scrappage Scheme. Latest is an 09 plate Clio, long MOT, looked mint. Its not his fault, I would suggest that he despairs as much as the next person.

I am sometimes ashamed at the selfish wastefulness of the Western world. I subscribe to 4 or 5 You Tubers from Russia and one is from Latvia and the work they do to resurrect cars is amazing. These cars almost certainly be thrown away in the UK.

One reason why I like this place, fix it don't bin it.

The "scrappage " schemes operated by the manufacturers are no more than a minimum part exchange deal and there is no requirement for any car to actually be scrapped. No doubt a lot of old shite will go straight to scrap but any thing that would get a good return would be sent to auction in the normal way.

[Split_Pin]

Hmm maybe there was something wrong with that Clio like impending HGF or something that allowed it just enough life to limp into the dealership.

 

Still, though.

[BavarianRetro]

  On 29/11/2017 at 20:11, IainL said:

I follow a chap on Flickr who appears to work for Copart and he photographs a lot of the cars which come through the system. There have been an increasing number of obviously undamaged cars being sent straight for scrap via the current manufacturers Scrappage Scheme. Latest is an 09 plate Clio, long MOT, looked mint. Its not his fault, I would suggest that he despairs as much as the next person.

 

I am sometimes ashamed at the selfish wastefulness of the Western world. I subscribe to 4 or 5 You Tubers from Russia and one is from Latvia and the work they do to resurrect cars is amazing. These cars almost certainly be thrown away in the UK.

 

One reason why I like this place, fix it don't bin it.

 

I know traders putting undamaged slow selling retail stuff through Copart because the fees are lower and sale prices better than the standard "over the block" auctions.

[fordperv]

  On 29/11/2017 at 20:05, Hooli said:

I'm saying nowt, I used to have 'lower than your nan's nipples' written in tippex on the back of a XR4i with cut springs.

I put a purple sticker on on the boot of mrs fps escort rs turbo that says "more boost than cadburys"

[Guest Hooli]

The same car might have had 'dirty as your daughter' and 'louder than your mum last night' written in other places.

 

Oh & no exhaust boxes & a XR4x4 backend for LSD action with taller tyres to get the gearing back. What else do you do with a £40 XR4i? if only they were that cheap now. Mind you A464JEM (or GEM I forget) was a rotten shed when I got it.

[Guest Hooli]

Oh & best of all I cut a slot in the bonnet & levered it up to create a scoop about a foot wide & 2" tall in front of the plenum chamber just because it seemed a good idea at the time.

 

And a 12v badge off a corsa that confused a lot of people who claimed to know cars.

[sheffcortinacentre]

On the subject of outline stickers I have one of the Bathurst track on the back of the falcon Ute.

Confuses the fuck out of people.

[Bren]

"Powered by fairy dust" sticker.

 

Then you see a 16st female getting out of the drivers seat.

 

It should have said powered by greggs.

[Guest Hooli]

16st? what about the other leg for most of them?

[Ghosty]

There's a basic 1.0 Fiesta near me with 'ecobeast' stickers. Clearly a play on Ecoboost, the damn thing is completely standard and all it has is 15" wheels, not even the bodykit or anything.