The grumpy thread

[dave21478]

I am fiscally flummoxed.

My cashflow is kaput.

I aint got no money.

 

Insurance policies due in the next 3 weeks - 2

interesting project cars I want to buy on leboncoin - lots

cars I want to buy in UK for resale here to earn pennies - 2

serious buyers for the Mazda - 0

 

Looks like its toast and soup till March.

[dave21478]

taking the fucking piss now....

 

 

youtube? nope.

spotify? kinda.

iplayer? hell no.

 

 

[Lord Sterling]

^^^ SFR were very shit in rural places as I found out last year.

 

I had a shitty little wi-fi box that kept on timing out required logging in everytime. That soon changed when I found an older wi-fi box and chucked the simcard into that, no mkre logging in, no more time-outs. Reception was still shit though.

[Cavcraft]

TURN YOUR FUCKING FOG LIGHTS OFF, YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING MORONS.

[Conrad D. Conelrad]

Is the above boiler an "Ideal" by any chance?

 

Thorn EMI Apollos all round, that's my advice.

 

It is indeed, an Ideal Isar. They seem to have something of a 'reputation'.

[HillmanImp]

TURN YOUR FUCKING FOG LIGHTS OFF, YOU ABSOLUTE FUCKING MORONS.

 

No mate, they are 'driving lights' ain't they.

[Cavcraft]

No, they're 'that miserable old wanker in the black Vectra coming the other way is going to put his headlights on full beam at you and gesticulate wildly out of the window' lights.

[wuvvum]

For some reason, facelift Nissan Terranos seem particularly bad for this.  Doesn't help the foglights being in the grille at headlight height.

[HillmanImp]

No, they're 'that miserable old wanker in the black Vectra coming the other way is going to put his headlights on full beam at you and gesticulate wildly out of the window' lights.

 

 

When is comes to gesticulating, I do like this time of year as whenever someone drives badly near me I can scream out of the window 'WHAT DID YOU GET FOR CHRISTMAS, A FUCKING DEATH WISH!'. 

 

I need some more comedy bad driving comebacks for other times of the year really, as it does make me feel better about their bad driving.

[Noel Tidybeard]

you putting your main beam on and blinding oncoming driver is a more serious offence though

[Vin]

I passed a Mini on the M18 the other morning about 7.15AM and realised it didn't have it's headlights on, just some lights in the bumper...the wagon it overtook then started flashing it's headlights at it to let it know...but no reaction. I decided to turn my headlights on and off for a few seconds but no, nowt. I then went off onto the M62 towards Leeds and it went towards Hull...OBLIVIOUS...

[JohnDeere]

Forgot to add too many are just fitters and hopeless at diagnosing problems - they dont have the required skill and would sooner just fit a newcone.

We have an absolutely brilliant (oil) boiler engineer. We had a problem with occasional lockouts a couple of years ago after a new tank of oil. He lent us another burner, and put ours on his boiler at home for a couple of months while trying to diagnose the problem. Eventually it emerged that the flame sensor was slightly mis-aligned on that batch, and a slightly different oil caused a different burn and the occasional lockouts. He drilled a hole in the right place and it's been great ever since.

 

True boilershite, this with the reliable* German VW brand of boilers.

 

So if anyone in south Lincs/Fens needs a great oil boiler guy, let me know.

[jakebullet]

parcel2go have put hermes up to £2.58 + 6% of item value for insurance. Or I can go direct to to hermes for £2.78 with £50 cover. Or back to royal fail 2nd class for £2.50.

 

I know the punters pay for it, but boils my piss that ebay fees + postage paid is more than I make in 'profit'.

[jonathan_dyane]

We had an Ideal Isar boiler in our (thankfully rented from housing association) flat. It started cutting out and over a period of some (rather cold) months the *engineer replaced just about every part of it from the heat exchanger to the circuit board. Still wouldn't work. They tore it out eventually thankfully. I think the consensus with the Isar is that as soon as it starts playing up best bet is to rip it out and start again.

 

Combi boilers are lovely and efficient but it's a shame that they have none of the reliability of a proper old indirect gas boiler.

[maxpower]

Being unable to get in here to grump for 2 days and forgot what original grump was

[steve_earwig]

I'm not quite sure how I ended up on page one of this thread, however...

Del Boy's vehicle was a RELIANT REGAL!!!!!!! If you want to be pedantic a "Supervan iv" (i think).SWMBO thinks I'm a sad old grumpy fecker, which I probably am, but I knew all on here would understand.ITS NOT A ROBIN RELIANT YOU STUPID TWATS!!!! YOU DONT SAY "I DRIVE A MONDEO FORD" DO YOU????Thanks, I feel better now.....

http://www.njuskalo.hr/index.php?ctl=search_ads&keywords=morris+mini&categoryId=12537hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrruuuuuuuuuuuuugh!

[Cavcraft]

Tell you what, dickhead, if I'm in traffic on a single carriage, twisty A road doing 35mph about 25 foot from the car in front and he's about the same distance/speed from the car in front of that etc, so if you come zooming up behind me at God knows what speed, then rev your car up and sit on my back bumper, what am I going to do?

 

1) Pull to the side of the road so Mr Self Important You can over take.

 

2) Ignore you.

 

3) Flash my brake lights then slow down a bit more before letting the world and his wife out of side turnings to piss you off.

[AnthonyG]

Nice one Cav. I recently had someone driving so close behind me all I can see in the mirror was his windscreen, which I assumed was something fairly low and sporty like a MR2 (this was at about 6pm at night).

 

As we were driving through a residential area on a busy road, I always made sure to keep my speed below 30mph, occasionally dropping to 25 or so if the circumstances deemed caution was necessary, and also politely let cars in from side roads. After about 40 seconds of this matey gets fed up and overtakes on a bend by a junction, and then overtakes the car in front through a pedestrian crossing!

 

The car was an early Vauxhall Tigra, a car I have never associated with aggressive young twats before. I think he was either on something or angry he was having to drive his bird's car.

[chaseracer]

you putting your main beam on and blinding oncoming driver is a more serious offence though

 

Really?  The Highway Code and the Road Vehicle Lighting Regulations seem to treat them equally (HC114/226/236, RVLR 26/27).  And I 'm sure Billy would only ever exercise his judgement under HC110...

 

[HillmanImp]

TBH I was driving a bit like that the other week. Mrs Imps old man had a heart attack in the morning and we had been to the hospital to see him and he seemed fine, he had a couple of stents fitted and we were sent home leaving him there to recover for a day or so. As I was dropping her and his wife off at home, they got a telephone call saying that he had fallen unconscious and that we should come in urgently, so I switched into full on Blomqvist mode from Baildon to Leeds.. 

 

As it turns out he had come back round and the were fitting a couple more stents when we got there but the fuckwits never rang us up to tell us that did they. 

[Slappy]

Related to the lights. Let 3 people through a single carriageway section of road last night, all three gave a dose of fulls to say thankyou leaving me thinking that I'd just rolled out of the local Shitquid (Liquid - it's a discotheque to the uninitiated). Why don't more people acknowledge by briefly switching to sides and back, thereby not incurring an irritating disorientating effect?

 

Anyway, my real grump for today. Miss Slappy is about to start a new job in London and so we've split up. We're not far in the scheme of things, but we've been cooped up in a small 1 bed flat which has grated on us significantly, with inevitable arguments about silly stuff. It's amicable at least, which is good as we play the same sport, and whilst trying to not dwell on it too much, we probably are best as friends. It's just not been an easy year for me tbh, a massive bout of cyclical depression last summer, frustrations with job and home, and just needing a fresh start really. Apart from the bit that I'm not good at making starts, and I'm too laissez-faire to get off my arse sometimes.

 

This place is wonderful therapy!

[Cavcraft]

I'm just helping them, really. If they need fog lights on in normal night conditions and can't see a big fuck off orange light on their dashboard, then they need me to help light the road up for them.

[HH-R]

I never know what are fogs and DRLs now, they're both as blinding as each other.

[cobblers]

Did you know that if a connector on the passenger side chassis leg of a Mk4 Ibiza Cupra gets every so slightly tarnished, it kills every coil you put on Cylinder #1 within 200 yards but otherwise the car drives fine.

 

Did you know that the coilpacks on these have two earth points, one is about 6" away from them on the rocker cover and looks perfectly good when you are investigating the wiring. The other is down about 15' of wire that meanders randomly around the engine bay, through the above connector and then to a star earth point on the chassis leg, all of which is buried below the battery tray and airbox, completely impossible to find without the use of VAGs thankfully pretty decent service manual software.

 

I now know both of the above. And I've managed to have to buy 5 coilpacks to fix a 4 cylinder car with only one duff coil to start with.

[xtriple]

I hurt.

So much.

I want to scream!

 

Sorry to be so dramatic about it, but I'm feeling 'dramatic' but, not enough to post it on facebook, so I can't be feeling THAT bad after all, can I?

[Rocket88]

Brown trouser moment........................doing a bit of titivating on ex purplebargeken BMW 318........painted the front end with Halford rattle cans, and was warming up the lacquer in front of an electric blow heater, picked it up to give it a shake, and the bloody can exploded ! 

Shot across the garage with a huge bang, and punched a hole in a green plastic box. Not hurt, but bloody deafened ! Glad it wasn't paint, it would have been a right mess............................

[skattrd]

My Merc is sometimes a bit sluggish under acceleration. I have put this down to the air getting in to the system via dodgy o rings in the fuel lines. This morning I went to the local Merc dealership and spent £60 on a few bits of plastic fuel pipe with o rings. These have now been replaced but there is still air getting in to the fuel system.

I love spending time and money doing this crap for it to have NO EFFECT WHATSOEVER.

[MarvinsMom]

turns out last night was colder than SWMBO thought.

 

left work to drive home and managed to punt the vitara off the road and into a ditch in the middle of the moors.

 

the road was like glass, and thankfully no harm done, locked the front hubs, put into 4wd, and reversed it back onto the road. 

 

which was just as well as there is no mobile phone coverage up there!!

[dollywobbler]

 Why don't more people acknowledge by briefly switching to sides and back, thereby not incurring an irritating disorientating effect?

 

 

 

I discovered to my horror that Volkswagen Crafters DON'T immediately turn the headlights off when you ask them to. That's really annoying as my usual night-time thank you is to dip to sides. Or flash flogs if they're fitted - just so there's SOME point to the sodding things. On the west coast of Scotland, the done thing is to indicate right briefly as you pass the car that stopped for you. Very logical and not at all blinding!

[RoadworkUK]

Non car related but really, really important grump.

 

CO-OP NOW SELL NO CORDIALS THAT DON'T HAVE SWEETENERS IN THEM

 

I HATE sweeteners. Aspartame, saccharine, acesulfame K, they all taste hugely over the top compared to good old fashioned sugar but it seems that hardly anywhere sells a drink without them.

 

It used to be that you could just avoid drinks with DIET or Sugar-Free emblazoned across them, but that's no longer the case. A few years ago Tizer bottles started to have little flashes on them saying "Now with added Zing". Guess what the zing was? Aspartame! Fuck off with your Zing! Now it seems Doctor Pepper has gone the same way. Won't be buying any more of that, then.

 

Yes, we should all be drinking less sugary drinks, but if it's all just a health kick I don't see why full-fat drinks shouldn't be available so that disgusting bloaters like me can enjoy a nice refreshing glass of cold pop every now and then. People who CAN'T STOP THEMSELVES have ruined EVERYTHING.