The grumpy thread

[EyesWeldedShut]

38 minutes ago, GrumpiusMaximus said:

You clearly haven't tried my Great Uncles Graham's (91) legendary coffee.  Always Maxwell House.  The knowledge of its awfulness has been passed down the generations.

I wouldn't need to - I can still recall my mother's infatuation with a substance called 'Mellow Birds' coffee back in the 70s/80s - that nearly put me off coffee for life (or, at least, until I left home)

[Rust Collector]

4 minutes ago, barefoot said:

I love it. I only buy it when it's on 'offer', but I buy a trolley full to keep me going. And when I go camping - regularly - I always take the Nescaff 3 in 1 sachets of red coffee. It's a fucking winner.

Next time I get made a cup of it, you can stand in as my stunt double and drink it for me.

[reb]

I will drink the red nescafe, in fact I have a cup of it in front of me right now, but I need to put milk and sugar in it. Normally I drink my coffee black.

The thing that I miss most when I am on my periodic excursions to the grippy sock hotel is proper coffee. It's always the first thing I do when I get home. My favourite coffee I've had for a while is the lidl stuff that is clearly aping lavazzas packaging, the red one.

[reb]

In other grumpiness, I went to fill the kettle this morning and the water coming out of the tap has been reduced to a dribble.

[myglaren]

41 minutes ago, Rust Collector said:

Whilst I like good coffee, I’ll happily drink instant if it’s all that is available - a lot of the own brand ‘gold blends’ are palatable enough plus they’re cheap so great to leave in the cupboard at work.

That red Nescafé stuff is absolutely vile though, I really struggle to drink a cup of it. Add in the cost of it due to being a brand name product, and it’s truly bewildering how any of it gets sold.

I don't but instant often and it is usually Douwe Egberts.  There was none on the shelves a few months ago and I bought Nescafé for the first time in years.  Won't be bothering with that again.  Usually drink tea or Guatemalan perk coffee.

I found in Home Bargains some Lyons #4 coffee for 75p a bag that turned out to be surprisingly decent.

Never seen again of course.

[Metal Guru]

51 minutes ago, EyesWeldedShut said:

I wouldn't need to - I can still recall my mother's infatuation with a substance called 'Mellow Birds' coffee back in the 70s/80s - that nearly put me off coffee for life (or, at least, until I left home)

My parent’s always had Mellow Birds but it suited their tastes. They just did bland and tasteless as far as food and drink was concerned. Never had a curry in their lives.

Mind you Mellow Birds was an improvement over Camp coffee that they had before. It was more chicory than coffee and was a wartime substitute but it took them until 1972 to find something different.

(just found out you can still buy Mellow Birds)

[EyesWeldedShut]

1 minute ago, Metal Guru said:

(just found out you can still buy Mellow Birds)

Nooooooo!

Actually - sounds like they were of a certain generation - all food should be bland and beige - Camp Coffee was always a thing in my mum and her mum's cupboards. Plenty of room as there were no spices, sauces or herbs in there- by the mid-1980s my mum had stretched the envelope a bit and was chucking a bay leaf into the stew.  
Ditto curry - just not a thing - I used to load up with spices and 'weird' stuff when I was in Slough in the 1980s and take them up home. 'Meh' was pretty much the reaction other than for the sweetmeats from this place. But then the Scottish sweet tooth was also probably a leftover from the sweet rationing  - not sure how that applies to deep fried stuff tho'

[Metal Guru]

1 minute ago, EyesWeldedShut said:

Nooooooo!

Actually - sounds like they were of a certain generation - all food should be bland and beige - Camp Coffee was always a thing in my mum and her mum's cupboards. Plenty of room as there were no spices, sauces or herbs in there- by the mid-1980s my mum had stretched the envelope a bit and was chucking a bay leaf into the stew.  
Ditto curry - just not a thing - I used to load up with spices and 'weird' stuff when I was in Slough in the 1980s and take them up home. 'Meh' was pretty much the reaction other than for the sweetmeats from this place. But then the Scottish sweet tooth was also probably a leftover from the sweet rationing  - not sure how that applies to deep fried stuff tho'

You sound like you’re more than familiar with the phrase “Foreign muck”.

[BorniteIdentity]

2 hours ago, barefoot said:

I love it. I only buy it when it's on 'offer', but I buy a trolley full to keep me going. And when I go camping - regularly - I always take the Nescaff 3 in 1 sachets of red coffee. It's a fucking winner.

The 3 in 1 is better than it has any rights to be.

I’m currently dating a rather high maintenance but impossibly attractive Ukrainian lady. She made me coffee the other day in a somewhat unorthodox fashion. 

Ground coffee, milk and water in to a coffee pot, onto the hob. Then poured into a mug. It worked better than I thought it would, although there was a lot of coffee at the bottom of the mug that I didn’t bargain on. I still think some of it is attached to my larynx. 

[barefoot]

3 minutes ago, BorniteIdentity said:

The 3 in 1 is better than it has any rights to be.

Absolutely, and I can step out of the camper with my babby kettle & 3in1 and it keeps me going til the fair wife emerges with the espresso machine. 

[HillmanImp]

48 minutes ago, BorniteIdentity said:

The 3 in 1 is better than it has any rights to be.

I’m currently dating a rather high maintenance but impossibly attractive Ukrainian lady. She made me coffee the other day in a somewhat unorthodox fashion. 

Ground coffee, milk and water in to a coffee pot, onto the hob. Then poured into a mug. It worked better than I thought it would, although there was a lot of coffee at the bottom of the mug that I didn’t bargain on. I still think some of it is attached to my larynx. 

Will be a difficult day for her in the coffee shop if she has to cut the carrot cake too. 

[BorniteIdentity]

Just now, HillmanImp said:

Will be a difficult day for her in the coffee shop if she has to cut the carrot cake too. 

I do feel QUITE partridge working at the BBC with an Eastern European girlfriend.  Happy to report that, as yet, she's not had my face printed "onto scatter cushion".

[Rust Collector]

2 hours ago, BorniteIdentity said:

The 3 in 1 is better than it has any rights to be.

I’m currently dating a rather high maintenance but impossibly attractive Ukrainian lady. She made me coffee the other day in a somewhat unorthodox fashion. 

Ground coffee, milk and water in to a coffee pot, onto the hob. Then poured into a mug. It worked better than I thought it would, although there was a lot of coffee at the bottom of the mug that I didn’t bargain on. I still think some of it is attached to my larynx. 

My in-laws make coffee in a similar way. Coffee grounds go straight in the cup, boiled water goes on top. Job done*. It wasn’t a pleasant surprise the first time I was handed a cup, and just glugged it down thinking they’d put instant granules in.

I find the technique is to let it settle, then sip slowly without trying to disturb the cup too much.

Ive been introduced to ‘worker’s’ coffee too, which is made in much the same way but in a half litre beer stein, with lots of sugar and milk thrown in for good measure. It would only be suitable for me if I worked as a stress tester for toilets.

Mother-in-law has also had a scatter cushion printed with her, my partner and my son’s face which she then gifted us. I’d completely forgotten about that reference, so missed an opportunity to take the piss 🤣

 

Edited August 1 by Rust Collector
Speeling

[andy18s]

2 hours ago, BorniteIdentity said:

The 3 in 1 is better than it has any rights to be.

I’m currently dating a rather high maintenance but impossibly attractive Ukrainian lady. She made me coffee the other day in a somewhat unorthodox fashion. 

Ground coffee, milk and water in to a coffee pot, onto the hob. Then poured into a mug. It worked better than I thought it would, although there was a lot of coffee at the bottom of the mug that I didn’t bargain on. I still think some of it is attached to my larynx. 

3 in 1's are pretty much the standard offerings in most small coffee shops here.

We've been experimenting with different ground coffee in an attempt to reduce the Mrs headaches or migraines.

Lavazaa's decaff seems to winning at the mo..

[jakebullet]

Mad fuckin' Jean has totally lost the plot this time. Sent me a huge rant that was intended for the Mrs.

Highlights* are Mrs. is scrounging benefit money by pretending to be disabled so she can go on lots of holidays. John Boy is also benefit scrounging, and got a free car by phoning universal credit up and saying "free car plz". She's going to report all of this to benefits agency, people on benefits should be walking around picking up fag ends all day.

They are starving to death, there isn't a single thing in the house to eat.
Well, why not look out the window, where you will find the building next door is a chip shop. Or you could get in the car and drive 1/2 a mile to sainsburys?

Mrs. can't possibly be disabled, or she would be in hospital. ?????????

Contacted the Mrs, n she's had some other relative phone her, Mad Jean demanding she goes to Whitby right now tonight. Er, no. Then had Jean sending messages that she needs the police right now, and Mrs. must call them for her. Er, also no.

Think Mad Jean needs putting back in the nuthouse again.

[DavieW]

I was sitting behind a car at some temporary traffic lights yesterday. The 3 guys in the car were passing round a cigarette of some kind. The fact they were passing it round suggests it wasn't a Benson & Hedges.

[Metal Guru]

15 minutes ago, DavieW said:

I was sitting behind a car at some temporary traffic lights yesterday. The 3 guys in the car were passing round a cigarette of some kind. The fact they were passing it round suggests it wasn't a Benson & Hedges.

Given the price of a pack of B&H , maybe it was.

[sheffcortinacentre]

It's perfectly ok to do this as it's SPEED  that kills!!!!! Not driving like a twat,drinking,drugs, uninsured motorbikes/scooters/electric bikes but SPEED!!!!!

[Spiny Norman]

You haven't lived till you've had Maxwell House with Coffee Mate in it, like my old auntie used to serve, thinking it was the height* of good taste.

I don't know if it was that or my dad's horrid percolated coffee that put me of it for life, can't stand the stuff to this day. It all just tastes like bitter disappointment to me.  I can do a proper Italian espresso from a Gaggia in a proper Italian  restaurant but I drink more cups of tea in a day that I do coffee in  a year.

[Metal Guru]

1 hour ago, sheffcortinacentre said:

It's perfectly ok to do this as it's SPEED  that kills!!!!! Not driving like a twat,drinking,drugs, uninsured motorbikes/scooters/electric bikes but SPEED!!!!!

When they quote that 50% ( or whatever figure) of “accidents” are due to speeding, I always think , we’ll technically all are because if you weren’t still moving at the point of contact , there wouldn’t be the accident.

My second thought though is 100% are caused by driving like a twat. Unfortunately doing 82mph on an quiet motorway in good conditions , is very much easier to prove, than driving like a twat.

[comfortablynumb]

My old dad always used to say it's inappropriate speed, that kills, not speed per se, otherwise why aren't all the F1 drivers, shuttle pilots etc all pushing up the daisies?🤔

[BorniteIdentity]

22 hours ago, BorniteIdentity said:

I do feel QUITE partridge working at the BBC with an Eastern European girlfriend.  Happy to report that, as yet, she's not had my face printed "onto scatter cushion".

And to cap it off - the garage has given me a LEXUS as a courtesy car!  

[Metal Guru]

27 minutes ago, BorniteIdentity said:

And to cap it off - the garage has given me a LEXUS as a courtesy car!  

First world problems eh?

[Zelandeth]

Oh what fun. Our fridge freezer died at some point overnight.  It's actually dead this time, compressor has locked up.

Of course we only went shopping yesterday afternoon.

[GrumpiusMaximus]

1 hour ago, BorniteIdentity said:

And to cap it off - the garage has given me a LEXUS as a courtesy car!  

It's the Japanese Mercedes!

[artdjones]

10 minutes ago, GrumpiusMaximus said:

It's the Japanese Mercedes!

With added quality.

[SunnySouth]

13 hours ago, Spiny Norman said:

You haven't lived till you've had Maxwell House with Coffee Mate in it, like my old auntie used to serve, thinking it was the height* of good taste.

I don't know if it was that or my dad's horrid percolated coffee that put me of it for life, can't stand the stuff to this day. It all just tastes like bitter disappointment to me.  I can do a proper Italian espresso from a Gaggia in a proper Italian  restaurant but I drink more cups of tea in a day that I do coffee in  a year.

A favourite Peter Kay line; Passing through a foreign airport on holiday as a kid with your parents, with a bag of white powder being examined by security:

Dad: “That’s Coffee Mate…. Coffee Mate”.

Security, in generic foreign accent: ”I’m no your fuckin mate”…

[horriblemercedes]

14 hours ago, DavieW said:

I was sitting behind a car at some temporary traffic lights yesterday. The 3 guys in the car were passing round a cigarette of some kind. The fact they were passing it round suggests it wasn't a Benson & Hedges.

A couple of years ago I was beside a Renault 5 GT Turbo in gridlock traffic on the M6 and the occupants were passing a spliff around. It was like a perfect scene out of 1995

[Zelandeth]

5 hours ago, Zelandeth said:

Oh what fun. Our fridge freezer died at some point overnight.  It's actually dead this time, compressor has locked up.

Of course we only went shopping yesterday afternoon.

Well we managed to save about 40% of the food.  Sadly as it had been off since before dinner time yesterday it was pretty far gone by this morning.  I heard an odd "click" yesterday evening but got sidetracked before tracking it down - that click was the thermal overload on the compressor tripping/resetting.

I do have a couple of "questions" for Samsung though.

Firstly: If you're going to put a huge digital temperature display on the outside of the door...why on earth would you not make it show the ACTUAL temperature inside the thing, if not all the time, when there's an alarm condition?!? 

I know it knows the temperature inside the fridge and freezer, as it shows the current temperature for about 30 seconds when you first plug it in (as shown above).  Thereafter it just shows the setpoint.

Secondly: You made this thing "ping" at us if we leave the door ajar or hold the water dispenser lever in for longer than it takes to fill a medium sized glass.  Why the hell didn't you include a high temperature alarm in the list of things to make the bloody thing ping at us for?  There was absolutely zero outward evidence of the fact the fridge was at 19C and thrle freezer at 7C until we opened the door and discovered the issue.

Also the condenser design is just fscking stupid, and is pretty definitely what eventually killed the compressor.  Rather than a "radiator" like unit they've used a very densely coiled "square spiral" for want of a better word of finned tubing, with a tiny fan to draw air across it.  The downside to this is that the fins on the tube may as well be velcro for their tendency to attract dust, and the three dimensional nature of the thing (and surrounding metalwork) makes it basically impossible to clean all but the outer surface of it.  Even compressed air doesn't shift much.  Utterly stupid design.  You need to remove ten screws and wrestle a metal cover off to get in far enough to even clean that - Samsung don't intend that to ever be cleaned given that the cover has the "do not remove - no user serviceable parts inside" sticker on it.

Final grumble: Having spent a good bit of this morning scoping out as near as possible like-for-like replacements, why the actual fluffing hell do all fridges now have WiFi and/or Bluetooth connectivity?!?  It's a bloody FRIDGE, not a laptop.

[High Jetter]

1 hour ago, Zelandeth said:

I do have a couple of "questions" for Samsung though.

We have a Samsung FF, I guess older than yours from the display, we bought it in the early 00's. Shows current temps of fridge and freezer, not set points. We're unlikely to hear a high temp alarm as it's now in the garage but still works briliantly (touches wood). Maybe you'd get an email or BT notification that it has malfunctioned, from the newer ones? I agree, I can't see any benefit otherwise.