The grumpy thread

[danthecapriman]

Digging the garden over the last few days. And now I’ve got a trapped nerve in my sodding shoulder! Bloody kills and it’s going right down my arm into my fingers.

Stupid useless body!

[MarvinsMom]

23 hours ago, wuvvum said:

Am I the only one left wondering why you would want to apply coconut and sandalwood body balm to a prosthetic leg?

it brings the grain of the wood up something lovely.....

[Lankytim]

4 hours ago, Wack said:

I've seen a number of "professional" drivers pull into the orange refuge areas then sit there with their indicator on waiting for a gap in the traffic so they can enter lane one at 3mph to leave , last one was in an 18T rigid on the M1

I do hope it's all camera monitored because they're supposed to call on the phone, wait for the lane to be closed then be escorted out by the highways agency , you know so somebody doing 70 isn't suddenly up the arse of a truck

When you ring the operator asks you if you'd like the lane closed, or did at least when I rang. I declined as it was quiet and safely pulled out into lane one (ex hard sholder)

[High Jetter]

45 minutes ago, busmansholiday said:

Lockdown is easing so Mrs BMH has decided it's time to redecorate the house !

Shudder! Not a good time, cos (insert restrictions here)

[Wack]

4 hours ago, Lankytim said:

When you ring the operator asks you if you'd like the lane closed, or did at least when I rang. I declined as it was quiet and safely pulled out into lane one (ex hard sholder)

This was first day of release from lockdown 29th , it was very busy , so busy on the way back I was expecting to see a crash because I couldn't see how he could safely pull out from that position 

[Zelandeth]

Oh FFS.

The place I usually go for anything car related is still operating trade only.  So I turn around and go to Halfords.

Sign on the door "Maximum number of people in store: 27."

The queue for the checkout went all the way to the back of the store, crossed over past the parts desk, then looped about a third of the way back to the entrance.

Bit of very appropriate mental math later I reckon there's at least 150 people in the queue alone.

That's a hard nope from me, I never even got as far as fully walking in the door.

Guess I am ordering from Amazon then.  So much for the plan to do the oil and filter on the Jag this afternoon.

[Dan the van]

Got caught out in a similar fashion yesterday.Rocked up at my usual car parts place to be greeted by two long complicated printed A4 sheets taped to the window.Could only be bothered to read the bits in red,basically,bog off back home,order it on our crap website and then come back and we'll lob it out the door at you.Was only oil for the tractor so I got it from the ag merchant.Was pleased to find it was a fiver cheaper so not a total loss.

[hairnet]

did similar today

went out in the hairdressers car to buy some bits you can only get from m and s (yeah i know)

this was at 11am

car park mostly full but parked close ish

went to walk in and there was queue of at least 15 people waiting to go in

theres other shops an iceland and an aldi 100 ft away

no queues

wtf?!!

5 mins later i was home putting kettle on - m and s specific stuff can wait till another time

 

[Zelandeth]

57 minutes ago, Dan the van said:

Got caught out in a similar fashion yesterday.Rocked up at my usual car parts place to be greeted by two long complicated printed A4 sheets taped to the window.Could only be bothered to read the bits in red,basically,bog off back home,order it on our crap website and then come back and we'll lob it out the door at you.Was only oil for the tractor so I got it from the ag merchant.Was pleased to find it was a fiver cheaper so not a total loss.

Similar here.  They're open for click and collect - but that option only exists on the website for trade accounts as far as I can see.

Plus it's one of those maddening ones which only let you search for stuff it thinks is right based on your reg number - there's no "browse" option.  Which if you're just after something generic is absolutely infuriating - or as is the case with about 50% of the stuff for the Xantia, if the website's database is wrong.

[Dan the van]

It was a bit odd tbh because during lockdown v2 they were open as normal,even taking cash.Hey ho.

[Tadhg Tiogar]

49 minutes ago, hairnet said:

did similar today

went out in the hairdressers car to buy some bits you can only get from m and s (yeah i know)

this was at 11am

car park mostly full but parked close ish

went to walk in and there was queue of at least 15 people waiting to go in

theres other shops an iceland and an aldi 100 ft away

no queues

wtf?!!

5 mins later i was home putting kettle on - m and s specific stuff can wait till another time

 

This isn't just a queue. This is an M&S queue. 

[hairnet]

least its not dunnes stores :D

or a centra :D

 

[Tadhg Tiogar]

13 minutes ago, hairnet said:

least its not dunnes stores

or a centra

 

I remember being in a Dunnes and thinking it was a sink of hell. Then I went to their Ennis branch and remembered it had been used as Ireland's largest lingerie department....

[Zelandeth]

Oh, also, April Fools Day can get in the sea.

It takes me far, far, far too long to figure out that about 50% of them I read are "jokes" just because of how my brain works. 

Especially stuff that pops up in the trade press etc which I automatically process as being a valid source of information.  Makes me feel an utter dunce an hour or so later when I realise that I've been taken in hook, line and sinker by it.

[Aston Martin]

Why does every cunt in a 320d, think they're in a works DTM car?

[chaseracer]

1 hour ago, Tadhg Tiogar said:

I remember being in a Dunnes and thinking it was a sink of hell. Then I went to their Ennis branch and remembered it had been used as Ireland's largest lingerie department....

Was it Father Noel Furlong who took point? 

[chaseracer]

1 hour ago, Zelandeth said:

Oh, also, April Fools Day can get in the sea.

It takes me far, far, far too long to figure out that about 50% of them I read are "jokes" just because of how my brain works. 

Especially stuff that pops up in the trade press etc which I automatically process as being a valid source of information.  Makes me feel an utter dunce an hour or so later when I realise that I've been taken in hook, line and sinker by it.

VW's attempt worked well.

[Aston Martin]

3 minutes ago, chaseracer said:

VW's attempt worked well.

 

I don't buy it.

I think it was real, but because of the backlash. "Oh, erm it was a joke." 

[robinmasters]

3 hours ago, Zelandeth said:

Similar here.  They're open for click and collect - but that option only exists on the website for trade accounts as far as I can see.

Plus it's one of those maddening ones which only let you search for stuff it thinks is right based on your reg number - there's no "browse" option.  Which if you're just after something generic is absolutely infuriating - or as is the case with about 50% of the stuff for the Xantia, if the website's database is wrong.

Euro Car Parts near me only lets you click and collect.

Which is fine. But then you get there, and the sign on the door says one customer at a time, please knock. But you can't see into the shop, and as they only have one person working on the front counter, they don't acknowledge your knock. So you're left standing outside, not knowing if they know you're waiting. 

Obviously their (deserved) reputation for getting orders wrong means it takes ages to serve at least every other customer. 

[High Jetter]

You're lucky. My branch has very pt servers. They only come out if there's no customers to scare them.

[Tadhg Tiogar]

2 hours ago, chaseracer said:

Was it Father Noel Furlong who took point? 

It was Father Billy first, then another priest took over from him. Father Deegan was the young Scots priest who had panic attacks!

[Pieman]

Why is it that everyone else can say anything to me in a sarcastic or "bantering" way, but as soon as I say anything to anyone along the same lines it creates a third world war and I get nothing but Resting Bitch Face and abuse for days afterwards, or not spoken to at all?

I think I'll just plan my funeral and leave them instructions to read out to everyone what a worthless cunt I was.

[Sham]

Whoever previously wired up my cars towbar electrics made me grumpy today.

When I bought the car, it had all but the detachable swan neck part of a Witter towbar installed, with a 7 pin electrics socket that had obviously been reversed against something because it was badly broken.

So, I bought a new swan neck tow ball and electrical socket. Fitted them today.

Should have checked before fitting the new socket, but assumed they were working  - No power to the electrics. Ok, so trace that all back and find that it's all scotchlocked into the cars loom and the main power feed to the generic bypass relay has no power. There's no extra connection to the battery and nothing I can see in the fusebox that looks like an add on. Now I have to trace the feed cable to wherever it goes so I can remove all that shit from the car and do it properly. That's a job for when I'm not quite so cross.

Fuckers.

[Talbot]

1 hour ago, Sham said:

it's all scotchlocked into the cars loom

Someone probably paid a reasonable amount of money to a professional to do that.

[New POD]

2 hours ago, Pieman said:

Why is it that everyone else can say anything to me in a sarcastic or "bantering" way, but as soon as I say anything to anyone along the same lines it creates a third world war and I get nothing but Resting Bitch Face and abuse for days afterwards, or not spoken to at all?

I think I'll just plan my funeral and leave them instructions to read out to everyone what a worthless cunt I was.

You should try my marriage mate.  

Fuck. I am frequently amazed at how much abuse I can take from a woman who is totally off her head, but can still manipulate every single minor issue she has into 2 hours of why I'm destroying her life* 

* apparently my failure to anticipate what she's going to be angry about before she's angry is proof that I don't care enough about her.  

This morning's meltdown/blow up was something entirely solvable in 8 minutes. 6 hours later she's  at her sisters house.  Because she can't be in the same house as me. Etc. 

 

 

[dean36014]

14 minutes ago, New POD said:

You should try my marriage mate.  

Fuck. I am frequently amazed at how much abuse I can take from a woman who is totally off her head, but can still manipulate every single minor issue she has into 2 hours of why I'm destroying her life* 

* apparently my failure to anticipate what she's going to be angry about before she's angry is proof that I don't care enough about her.  

This morning's meltdown/blow up was something entirely solvable in 8 minutes. 6 hours later she's  at her sisters house.  Because she can't be in the same house as me. Etc. 

 

 

Well time to make good use of the freedom and change the door locks. FFS man, why do you put up with her. You've been moaning about her the last few years, you could have been divorced and happy with your life now. Do yourself a favour and fuck her off.

[TataBobu]

49 minutes ago, New POD said:

apparently my failure to anticipate what she's going to be angry about before she's angry is proof that I don't care enough about her.  

Not quite there yet, but close: mine was mad at her mother today, and instead of complaining to me about it she yelled at me about it just as I would have been her mother. I'm in the deep end because of repeated requests to tone it down, which were interpreted by her as "shut up". It escalated from there and now I'm the villain. She and her mother are good now, but I'm the one who's messing her mind.

[ruffgeezer]

Portrait of a life by shite... 

 

I only borrowed it having put a fresh bit of sill and a spring on it on Tuesday, and it's still here having failed to proceed when I actually had use for the sodding thing. 

[ruffgeezer]

And what the fuck are these supposed to be? 

[sdkrc]

Loaned my Insight out to someone whose car got stolen and it came back with a buttload more bonnet chips than it went out with. Not much you can do about that. The paintwork is pretty poor all round at this point.