The grumpy thread

[myglaren]

What does she use MS Office for?

A free option is either Google Docs or Libre Office.

[BorniteIdentity]

1 hour ago, shedenvy said:

Yeah i'm sorry everyone, we nearly had the grumpy thread off the end of page 2.

My sister.

She's self employed /single /45 / renting / no kids - this isn't a dating ad, just context.

The nature of her work (home/pet/horse sitting) means she's often away from home.  We helped her find a new flat 15 mins up the road and she moved in November.  However she's spent a total of about 4 nights there since.  She's spent about 3 weeks with us though which means turfing out my eldest boy into his brothers room in bunk beds - no real hardship - and in general spending every waking second in her presence from 6am to 10pm if i'm not at work.  Now of course she's helping with the three kids and also when they're at school she's doing a bit of decorating and gardening.  But at the same time I and the wife need our space and alone time, and alone time with kids.  I understood that with a flat so close we'd see her more but not her actually move in for any free time she gets.  She's free for 3 weeks this time and I can't see any intention to stay any time in her own flat - infact she stated she's only go there to re-pack her car.  Last night she said 'I see this as a you scratch my back type of deal' - meaning she'd help with the kids and the house so that I can help her:

- Sort out an electronic version of invoicing her clients (excel)

- Some sort of quoting system for potential new clients

- help choose an account to earn her the best interest rate on some money she's accrued.

- help her make a decision about moving to France and getting a UK loan to buy a property circa €40K in Brittany where my Mum & Dad live.  This is the only option she'll ever have to 'own' a property

 

I should mention that i'm an Engineer and have no experience on any of the above.  I also had no idea that this 'deal' was coming my way and I certainly wouldn't have agreed to it.

 

Anyway all this is interspersed with silent / tactful ways to pass judgement on the way we live our lives (how clean the toilet is, how messy the house is, how often the bed linen is washed etc etc) along with her f***ing opinion on everything that me and the Missus have to make a decison on.  She's only doing decorating because she's decided that we need to sort it out, and so Sunday was spent in B&Q chosing paint etc and spending money on stuff I had no bloody plans on.  Basically i'm 34 and I plan on having the house finished when I retire.

 

I'm no martyr but the wife and I both work, and have three children under 8.  It's busy but we cope.  In the words of  that Steve Coogan character 'no one died'.

 

This is like having a second wife - only I don't really like this one.

 

Anyway, does anyone have any advice on how to tactfully say FO.  Or any free templates on how to invoice or prepare a quote for people - she only had about 6 clients a year so I guess quickbooks or similar wouldn't be practical.  Oh and her MS office subscription has run out so if anyone can point me to a cheaper version than £5.99 a month i'd also appreciate it.

You can buy office licences on eBay for under £10.

Why not ask someone here to write an automated FRO letter to her? It’ll save embarrassment and help her with her business. 

Jokes* aside, I tend to either be blunt or use humour to make that person feel a level of discomfort.

[shedenvy]

39 minutes ago, BorniteIdentity said:

You can buy office licences on eBay for under £10.

 

Thanks for this - is it legit or what?  One cheap ad says 'This is NOT cheap key!!!  cheap key will expired after few weeks' 

That just makes me suspicious of every ad being 'cheap and expiring'

[shedenvy]

1 hour ago, myglaren said:

What does she use MS Office for?

A free option is either Google Docs or Libre Office.

A year or so back I gave her a basic excel template so that she could *easily quote for a new job.  The frame work was a series of questions which then gave a ball park figure of how much to charge per day and how much she'd be earning per Hr.  If the numbers weren't right then she could tell potential client to FRO or pay more.  Eg.  Client A:

How many days: 8

How many dogs:

How many chickens etc:

how many horses:  Kept inside or outside:

Are you responsible for security of the house:

Then you had a factor for each line item (eg. a cat is £12 a day, a horse inside is £40 a day)

Then that would give out a total for the job and a total for the £/hr.

 

It sounds simple and it was, but she had nothing and was pretty much guessing an amount to charge.  Sometimes she would charge expenses (mileage) to a job to bump up a total and sometimes we would find out she had broken her back for £2 an hr.  Either scenario didn't seem right to me and from my outsider perspective the Horsey community seems to have the grafters in the gutter and  the  aristocracy paying peanuts.

[Sealtainn]

Anyway, does anyone have any advice on how to tactfully say FO.  Or any free templates on how to invoice or prepare a quote for people - she only had about 6 clients a year so I guess quickbooks or similar wouldn't be practical.  Oh and her MS office subscription has run out so if anyone can point me to a cheaper version than £5.99 a month i'd also appreciate it.

Can’t help on the FO front as I’m the sort who would just tell it like it as you’d like alienate her for life, however I do have a full version of MS Office 2000 on CD. Activation Key included and needs no subscription. PM your address and I’ll pop it in the post to you, all I ask is you send it back once you’ve installed it



Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[shedenvy]

8 minutes ago, Sealtainn said:

 

 I do have a full version of MS Office 2000 on CD. Activation Key included and needs no subscription. PM your address and I’ll pop it in the post to you, all I ask is you send it back once you’ve installed it



Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

 

Thanks for this - let me go home and check her system spec before bothering you. 

[BorniteIdentity]

They’re legit. I *think* from machines that are shipped with them but are uninstalled ready for businesses that don’t need them. 

[dozeydustman]

@shedenvy - "Sis. We appreciate your efforts with the decor and the kids, don't mind you wanting to come round once a [time period] to spend an afternoon/evening/have lunch/dinner with us or babysit if wife and I want to go out, but we need our space. The wife and I have need of a bit of time together alone as a couple of an evening in front of the telly etc and we don't have time as a family - parents & children - to do family things; we've started to feel overcrowded and feel you should think about going back to your flat"

OR

"would you mind going back to your flat for while; we need time with the kids as a family and Mrs Shed and I need time to mong out on the sofa of an evening to crap tv and a glass of vino. We don't mind if you stay here if you've been looking after the kids for us and we're back late; or we've invited you round for dinner and you've had a couple of drinks"

if neither subtle approach works just be upfront - sis, you've overstayed your welcome, please go home.

[chaseracer]

The quote "fish and house-guests begin to smell after three days" has been attributed to lightning conductor, dollar bill botherer and general smartarse Benjamin Franklin.  

But that's not entirely helpful right now.  Soz, like.

[DoctorRetro]

Fucking fed up with my total lack of talent or even staying power with anything. 

I spend my whole life either bodging and making do, or giving up and moving on to the next mess. This usually applies to cars, jobs, furniture, relationships and probably more. 

Just that. I'm a fucking joke. 

 

[colnerov]

2 hours ago, shedenvy said:

 from my outsider perspective the Horsey community seems to have the grafters in the gutter and  the  aristocracy paying peanuts.

 

 'twas ever thus.

[Stanky]

Shedenvy, I can't help with most of it, but look at WPS Office - its free for non-business use (just tick 'personal' and it never bothers you again) and is all but identical to the MS Office suite. It opens normal .xls and .xls spreadsheets (and all the other extensions) and can save back down to them too. It looks identical to Office 2015 and has all the functions.

There is literally no point getting MS Office.

It has spreadsheets, Word Processor and presentation programs - So Excel, Word and PowerPoint respectively.

 

[shedenvy]

Thanks for all yor suggestions regarding subtle hints and also the MS software. I've returned home after 2 hrs stuck on A12 and sister has put a coat of paint on the little bathroom. I told her that the ceiling didn't need doing but she went ahead and painted it with SODDING GLOSS FOR WOODWORK the twonk. That's two more f***ing coats it didnt need doing again then.

[Cavcraft]

(Don’t ask for pictures of sister)

[omegod]

Moved to a new worksite today after a rehuffle, my previous place was an absolute joy to work in with ace people you could have a laugh with, new place is like a fucking wax works museum 

[MikeR]

M6 from Preston to Lancaster ,,, it has a bridge on it that a lorry tried to knock down last year towards  Lancaster

resulting in the bridge span being held up by girders and poles ...

its still like that ,,, which means ,,

is it getting fixed when a smart motorway upgrade arrives .....  ????

[taxi paul]

My last foster child moved out about six weeks ago. So I am enjoying not having to deal with anyone at the minute. Then gets a reminder today that I have to attend compulsory training next week. It's an education day and run by the virtual school . Or people talking shite to justify their job. Wouldn't normally mind but Wednesday is Widnes market shite sale. Sort of car  boot but with worse stuff. Also getting lectured about helping with homework strategies and attendance enhancing solutions is a bit eastedbon me. The kids I get are usually expelled from school and have no intention of going anyway. Also there is fuck all anyone can do about it, the kids know this very well. So I listen to bollocks and not my head in the right places.

[Jazoli]

M6 from Preston to Lancaster ,,, it has a bridge on it that a lorry tried to knock down last year towards  Lancaster
resulting in the bridge span being held up by girders and poles ...
its still like that ,,, which means ,,
is it getting fixed when a smart motorway upgrade arrives .....  ????

Yeah I pass that every couple of days and wonder when they are ever going to get round to fixing it, can't see them turning it into a 'smart' motorway though.

[paulplom]

I've used open office for over ten years. Great bit of kit and free to download.

[GrumpiusMaximus]

Had an all-staff meeting yesterday at work.

At the end, the new Grand Overlord showed us a video of all of the good things that have happened over the last year.  Which was actually quite nice.

If it hadn't gone on for ten bloody minutes.  The worst thing is that everybody was still lapping it all by the end, braindead...

[brownnova]

9 hours ago, taxi paul said:

My last foster child moved out about six weeks ago. So I am enjoying not having to deal with anyone at the minute. Then gets a reminder today that I have to attend compulsory training next week. It's an education day and run by the virtual school . Or people talking shite to justify their job. Wouldn't normally mind but Wednesday is Widnes market shite sale. Sort of car  boot but with worse stuff. Also getting lectured about helping with homework strategies and attendance enhancing solutions is a bit eastedbon me. The kids I get are usually expelled from school and have no intention of going anyway. Also there is fuck all anyone can do about it, the kids know this very well. So I listen to bollocks and not my head in the right places.

Hide your phone under the desk like the kids in school and browse Autoshite all day... 

[New POD]

9 hours ago, Jazoli said:

9 hours ago, MikeR said:

M6 from Preston to Lancaster ,,, it has a bridge on it that a lorry tried to knock down last year towards  Lancaster
resulting in the bridge span being held up by girders and poles ...
its still like that ,,, which means ,,
is it getting fixed when a smart motorway upgrade arrives .....  ????

Yeah I pass that every couple of days and wonder when they are ever going to get round to fixing it, can't see them turning it into a 'smart' motorway though.

It's fixed. Well it's still up and there's a concrete barrier to protect it. What more do you need? 

Looks shit. But I like to think as I head north, well that's the border. 

[Cavcraft]

Hard to get what you’re moaning about, tbh.

 

Facebook’s most prolific contributor passed away this morning, we’ll never see the likes of him again.

[chaseracer]

The Chester Jester, folks.  He's blue, he's back, and you're welcome to him!

?

[HillmanImp]

15 hours ago, TheDoctor said:

Fucking fed up with my total lack of talent or even staying power with anything. 

I spend my whole life either bodging and making do, or giving up and moving on to the next mess. This usually applies to cars, jobs, furniture, relationships and probably more. 

Just that. I'm a fucking joke. 

 

Hey, thats what everyone does. I wouldn't sweat it. 

[iainrcz]

Came down stairs this morning and got wet feet. The boiler had pissed itself and was making fizzing noises. No hot water or heating.

Isolated it at the fused switch underneath and turned all the inlet/outlet taps off underneath to stop it leaking.

 

Bollocks.

[mercedade]

16 hours ago, TheDoctor said:

I spend my whole life either bodging and making do, or giving up and moving on to the next mess

I have more respect for someone who can do this, than someone whose whole approach is "ha LOL no idea I just pay someone".

Anyone who can bodge/make do gets a doffed cap from me - and same goes for people who know when they're beat.

No joke about it man - you're doing it more right than you realise.

[Cavcraft]

What a load of old bollocks that 'Desert Island Discs' is. Surely the first record anyone would want is the long distance swimming one?

[Datsuncog]

16 hours ago, TheDoctor said:

Fucking fed up with my total lack of talent or even staying power with anything. 

I spend my whole life either bodging and making do, or giving up and moving on to the next mess. This usually applies to cars, jobs, furniture, relationships and probably more. 

Just that. I'm a fucking joke. 

Not that it's much consolation, but you're basically describing me as well.

 

And I don't even have a Rover that will survive a zombie apocalypse.

[DoctorRetro]

35 minutes ago, Datsuncog said:

 

 

And I don't even have a Rover that will survive a zombie apocalypse.

Neither do I, it belongs to Billy now. I even gave up on that. ?