The grumpy thread

[Tamworthbay]

Even a dominos menu will work if you twist it into a cone, they leak a bit but 95% goes in. Don’t ask me how I know.

[purplebargeken]

I used a handy traffic cone once on my Daf 33 when no petrol can spout happened. Worked a treat.. 

[Saabnut]

Todays Grump

 

I have a 150 mile round trip to do in the Saab Convertible which cannot be postponed.

 

This is the view out of my window this morning. Thank goodness Saabs have good heaters!

[louiepj]

Note to self stop buying bloody Wellseal..

[bangernomics]

Todays Grump

 

I have a 150 mile round trip to do in the Saab Convertible which cannot be postponed.

 

This is the view out of my window this morning. Thank goodness Saabs have good heaters!

What a great view.

[yes oui si]

What were the terms of the contract and did he demand payment before he finished the job?

Work to be completed as and when he could (between jobs), but before the end of April. £500 up front, balance at the end of April.

 

He's now said that he delayed another job and did mine instead so he could get paid earlier ("I really need the cash, mate.").

 

He's fucked himself and will be getting no more work from this end - I'll pay for a trusted person to travel down from Berwick in the future.

[Tamworthbay]

Corners, simple yes? Apparently not. I thought even the knuckle dragging three fingered Neanderthal relatives (or residents of Norfolk as they are also known) know that you do not brake mid corner, not even gently, if you are going too fast for a corner (they werent) braking will not help. And I thought the fact that you brake BEFORE a corner and gently accelerate THROUGH the corner was also common knowledge. Apparently not to mr sky blue metallic 320 notfloppy top who decided to brake mid corner on the massive run up to the A38 and then looked amazed as an old Volvo defied the laws of science and went around him. Driving standards are really slipping as every day I see crap driving like this.

[Richard]

My wife was out this afternoon so the radio was switched off well in advance of 1pm, result.

 

Or so I thought. Now the shitpump is spewing out something that has not only Elaine bastard Paige but also John FUCKING Barrowman.

[GrumpiusMaximus]

I suggest playing the Conet Project on a nearby rival system.  Particularly the data CD.

[anonymous user]

This is why god invented cds, or silence.

[Richard]

Unfortunately she's setting up a new laptop (and not even watching the shitpump) and I'm expected to answer questions or the headphones would have been well and truly on.

[Richard]

Christ, there's judges as well.

[castros_bro]

Last week booked Ibiza FR in for MOT as it hasn;t been used for months and got a job starting Monday so need transport.  Arrived at garage surrounded by chaos as but DVLA system was offline so garage not able to do any MOTs, FR batt light then came on, drove back in day light, steering light came on and steering go a bit heavy, did Charles Atlas parking manoeuvres, turned off engine and now FR is dead. Never-mind - there;s always another car somewhere  nearby.

[MikeR]

I suppose it saves putting a seat belt around the plant ......

 

 

 

[dozeydustman]

I've had 2 weeks of tidying up both my new and my old home, living out of boxes, replacing the cam belt on the Toyota, injuring my shoulder, shampooing carpets (Beko - I have a Vax Rapide Plus, autographed photo available on request) and having hands that smell like various household cleaning agents, I am absolutely shattered.

 

So the Saab decides now is the time to have grindy brakes. Pah!

 

EDIT - It's a Vax Rapid Ultra Mr Beko

[HillmanImp]

GT6 has a seized rear drum still. Can't free it off at all. Decided to just get the car running today as its on a drive wheel but just as I was getting ready to go out the neighbours came round and pointed out the fence had come down in the back garden so spent the day sorting that out FFS. A right pain I could do without.

[Cavcraft]

Don't really know what you're moaning about, tbh.

I was advised to say 'No comment' all the way through my police interview.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Never got the job.

[mercrocker]

Likewise I kept quiet about my embarrassing police record during my civil service interview.  (It was only a small matter and happened when I was still in my teens).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wasn't even sure the bloke had even heard "Roxanne" anyway.

[anonymous user]

I brought the Land Rover home this morning. It hates me, it is now as bad, if not worse than before. It really isn't running right it is damp and horrible inside as the window has been left open and to cap it all I snapped the mirror off reversing onto the drive. I was concentrating so much on not colliding with the holly bush on the left that the driver's mirror caught on the rainwater downpipe. The downpipe is cast iron so that won.

I've had enough of it now and refuse to spend any more money on it so will have to take a bigger hit on it to sell it with a dodgy engine.

[Cavcraft]

Just picked my scooter up from being serviced. 'We clean and polish them as part of the service and we have fixed your horn'.

 

It's filthy dirty, 3/4 of the fuel seems to have disappeared and the horn still doesn't work.

[Tenmil Socket]

Hey, GM, if you're stuck for a spout in the future then (an empty) one of these...

 

 

 

...works. Scissors/screwdriver/car keys to roughly cut the bottom off and a steady hand when pouring usually works.

 

Yep, had to do this myself not so long ago whilst nursing a petrol light on the dash... although in the end, after all the faffing, I hadn't actually run out of petrol, it was a dodgy wire to the ECU. 

[Tenmil Socket]

The local Morrisons jet-wash. There's either no shampoo in the thing or when there is, that much comes out, you struggle to get it all off in the remaining time...

[SiC]

More of a sad thing than a grump. But got new contract signed at new place and handed my notice in today at my current employer.

 

Great team and a good employer. Really interesting tech too. Will certainly miss some of my colleagues. Genuinely feel quite sad.

[busmansholiday]

This weather. How the fuck am I going to get the recently purchased TF sorted when it keeps pissing it down. I might have a garage, but the MGB GT is in there still winking at the MiG welder and the MGB Roadster is in front of the garage.

Saying that, since I taxed it on March 1st, I've only been out in it twice, and it pissed it down on one of those days.

Bastard weather...

[catsinthewelder]

The weather just hates me at the moment,  I washed up on Sunday looking out the window at the sunshine then went outside to fix the car and a blizzard appeared out of nowhere.  Today the weather appeared to be lovely until I ventured outside with a basket of laundry.  Fucked it into the dryer and the sun came out.

[gm]

FOUR MILLION VIEWS !

 

 

WHAT A BUNCH OF GRUMPY TWATS

[The Moog]

That means we are roughly 69% as happy as grumpy round here ..... snigger ... 

[willswitchengage]

FOUR MILLION VIEWS !

 

IMG_1821.JPG

 

WHAT A BUNCH OF GRUMPY TWATS

 

Does that mean we can now claim to be 'influencers'?

[mercrocker]

I have a really insignificant grump.  It concerns the view from my lounge.   Normally I can see two cars - Mrs Rocker's Merc and the opposite neighbour's 51-plate Saab.   It was quite a nice view and they looked after the Saab - no scabs, never dirty, nice clean alloys.      

 

Yesterday they came home with a Zanussi-white Kia thing, not new but say 6 months old.   It has ugly great tail lights and is taller than the Merc so it keeps catching my eye.   Seems they have taken advantage of a scrappage-type PX deal at the local dealer leech.    

 

This has upset me.  I persuaded them many times to keep the Saab, the bloke really liked his Saabs and has had nothing else since the 1970s apparently.  It played up a bit in the summer and needed a fuel pump relay but other than that - nothing.  They even used to drive it to their holiday flat in Spain. 

 

Now it's been done in like a faithful old spaniel at the vets and I have to look at this bloody white thing every day.   Sad......

[Cavcraft]

Sort of hard to know what you're complaining about, tbh.

I wanted to marry my English teacher when she got out of prison, but apparently you can't end a sentence with a proposition.