The grumpy thread

[Lankytim]

Found the reason for the slow puncture on my S40..

 

Has anyone got a spare for me?

[DodgeRover]

Is that a cracked rim?

[fordperv]

If you can't find one or dont want to mess about tim get in touch with Dean at DT metallic he will weld it up with no fuss, hes on botteslow street behind strength asylum gym, the guy is a legend and got me out of the crap on numerous occasions, his phone number is on his site

 

 

http://www.dtmetallictechnology.co.uk/

[DodgeRover]

Narrowly avoided hitting a 125 rider on L plates who decided giving way to vehicles already on the roundabout was for others, they then proceeded to ride like a twat varying from 6" from the kerb over towards the white line and back again.

Completely failed to make progress while in a queue for several sets of traffic lights, then nearly fell over when the bottom of his/ her jeans caught the foot peg when coming to a halt. Already had smashed indicators on one side and a broken mirror.

It's the first time I have ever thought that some people need more than a CBT before taking to the road.

Verdict - Darwinism in action soon I'm afraid.

[Lankytim]

Is that a cracked rim?

 

Yes! First one I've ever experienced first hand.

 

If you can't find one or dont want to mess about tim get in touch with Dean at DT metallic he will weld it up with no fuss, hes on botteslow street behind strength asylum gym, the guy is a legend and got me out of the crap on numerous occasions, his phone number is on his site

 

 

http://www.dtmetallictechnology.co.uk/

 

 

Cheers! I may have to use him. TBH the wheel is buckled anyway so replacement would be the preferred option.

[MrDuke]

This is a disproportionately long-winded rant, so apologies in advance.
 
At work, we have Android-based phones which both serve as SatNavs and handle all the order processing and delivery guff. They were clearly the cheapest possible option when the company bought them, and frequently malfunction, but that's for another grump. Anyway, the vans all have dashboard cradles for them, which after a year of abuse have all broken. The weird design of the phones won't allow them to be used with generic cradles; they have to be custom made third-party jobbies.
 
Here's a pic of one of said vans. Over on the left, you can see the remains of the original cradle in front of the stereo in the centre console:
 

 
The eagle-eyed will also spot the massively-oversized replacement, next to the wheel. Directly in front of the air-vent.

Now, this is a problem for me, as the right-hand vent is further away and won't adjust enough to blow air at my face; the best it will do is keep my right arm cool. I'm also more sensitive than most people to (lack of) fresh air; I always have the vents open when I'm driving, otherwise I get unpleasant headaches. Opening the windows is fine of course, except for when I'm sitting in traffic and there's no breeze, or when I'm at high speed and the noise in the cabin is horrendous, or when it's chucking it down with rain - or, here's a really unlikely scenario, when it's freezing cold and I want to warm up my face and hands.

BUT - this is not my grump. It is fairly annoying, but I'm used to the company doing dumbass things without thinking them through. Ignorance and lack of forethought are par for the course, and a head-office minion sticking a mount in a stupid place would just be another moan on the list.

No, THIS is what properly sent my piss past boiling and straight into superheated steam:





That's right, it's a cradle SPECIFICALLY DESIGNED TO BLOCK AN AIR-VENT.

Despite the dash having space to mount it in at least 20 other positions, some pathetic little goblin in a grey office somewhere, probably wearing a machine-washable suit and counting down the minutes until he can go back in the toilets with his sticky picture of Gail Tilsley, whose idea of evening fun is spending hours sticking a pencil into the rotating blades of a desk fan until he catches a whiff of burning from the motor and spontaneously orgasms, who has never driven anything bigger than a photocopier, and who presumably avoids fresh air because it dilutes the comfortingly fetid stench of his breath and B.O. - someone like that has deliberately sat down and designed (or ordered someone else to design) a phone cradle which can only be attached by screwing a steel plate over a main air-vent.

I actually cannot get my head around it, nor can I explain why it makes me so furious. I am seriously going to contact the company that makes them and ask them, in the least sarcastic way possible, to explain how in the blue fuck this is a concept that makes any sense, at all. I mean, how do you even begin to think that it's a good idea?

Needless to say, my work bag will now contain a socket screwdriver with the appropriate head. I'm guessing that after being carelessly removed and refitted about a dozen times, they might develop 'issues'.

[UmBongo]

Breaking up with a woman is not pleasant. Still, better to be honest than to have the issue drag on for ages with things unsaid.

[purplebargeken]

Went to withdraw 500 quid from Halifax this morning. Card goes in, tap away on the keyboard. No problem. 

 

Please remove your card flashes up...... card stays put. Same message continues and continues.

 

Your card has been retained. Joy! No money exits the ATM. A bonus I guess, at least it is safe.

 

Too busy at work to phone cos work.

 

Then phoned afterwards, got through eventually, go through ID then gets cut off. Meh.

 

Goes to transfer money this evening...... online statement says that the £500 has been withdrawn today already.

 

Oh no it bloody hasn't. Visit to Halifax in the morning then.

 

Marvellous.

[Bobthebeard]

Went to withdraw 500 quid from Halifax this morning. Card goes in, tap away on the keyboard. No problem.

 

Please remove your card flashes up...... card stays put. Same message continues and continues.

 

Your card has been retained. Joy! No money exits the ATM. A bonus I guess, at least it is safe.

 

Too busy at work to phone cos work.

 

Then phoned afterwards, got through eventually, go through ID then gets cut off. Meh.

 

Goes to transfer money this evening...... online statement says that the £500 has been withdrawn today already.

 

Oh no it bloody hasn't. Visit to Halifax in the morning then.

 

Marvellous.

Been there and done that...(Not 500 pounds though....flash git)

Bloody annoying. Three bounced direct debits and £90 in bank charges resulted. I was very cross. Not Halifax, that was Santander. Not that it matters.

[purplebargeken]

Luckily no DD linked to this account. I am sure it will all be happily sorted tomorrow.

 

Unless they argue with me.

 

Then it will become horrible for them. Oh yes.

[Coprolalia]

Driving to Devon this eve to visit friends. In the gf's Yaris. Get about 20 miles from destination, big bang, steering heavy, immediately pull over.

Bloody tyre has popped off the rim! No obvious damage to the rim luckily.

Hunt through the car for widowmaker jack, switch to the space saver. All buttoned up ready and packed up, go to start. Couple of spins then nada. No tools, no jump pack. Had to call the bloody boys in orange (and very helpful they were). But of all the times FFS!

[fordperv]

Cheers! I may have to use him. TBH the wheel is buckled anyway so replacement would be the preferred option.

Iirc He can straighten wheels as well

[Eddie Honda]

Went to withdraw 500 quid from Halifax this morning. Card goes in, tap away on the keyboard. No problem. 

 

No money exits the ATM. A bonus I guess, at least it is safe.

 

Been there once many years ago. It was late at night as I wanted to do a double-dip (before/after midnight as daily limit was pants) for a car purchase.

 

Card came out, but cash didn't appear. You could hear it count it out, but it had dumped it internally.

 

Now the pain in the hole was my card was for Bank A. The machine belonged to Bank B. The machine isn't accessible to Bank B, as security C tops it up. Anyway, I had to fill out some form with my bank and it can take ages (up to 8 weeks) to sort out. In the meantime I was given an overdraft/overdraft extension to cover the missing wad. Had to borrow some folding from a mate to complete the car purchase.

 

The machine shouldn't tally, but if it does, then someone's at it.

 

See: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-15307444

[eddyramrod]

Today's Grump: selfish parking.

Where I deliver into the bakery's own shop in Barrow, is in a big yard behind a street of shops, with the service entrances to a load of bigger shops on the other side of the yard.  All around the yard are "Loading Only" signs, and as if that wasn't enough, it's painted in big white block letters across the floor of the yard at various points.  There's a huge space in the middle, which makes sense when you see the roller shutter for Poundland.  Their artic has to come in, turn round to line up with the door, and reverse in.

Of course that relies on the middle of the yard being clear of parked cars, which is a rare enough condition!

Today there was a Honda parked bang in the middle, exactly where the artic couldn't turn.  It had obviously been there from someone's night out last night; this is a popular place to leave your car while you fill up on booze.  Poundland staff call the police, who fail to attend.  The poor artic driver therefore just has to sit around for two hours, waiting.  He can't unload, nor can he go to his next delivery.

A yellow Ka turns up and a woman gets out, and approaches the Honda.  Yes, it's hers.  She gets roundly told off, but it's very much in-one-ear as she drives away.  Poundland staff realise she's still drunk (9am) and call the cops on her, again.

FFS.  What's keeping her ears apart?

 

As if that's not bad enough..... the entire scene is totally normal.  Whenever I find cars in the middle of the yard I just go looking for a parking warden.  Yeah, go on, park there, it'll cost you!  (Usually I can't find one though, so they get away with it.)

[Lankytim]

Finished work early on Friday so walked to my daughters school to pick her up. Noticed some young girl allowing her Alsatian to shit all over the pavement, as I approached she just walked off and left it. Asked her if she was going to clean it up but she totally blanked me, even when i called her a snack head scumbag (just an assumption I guess) short of grabbing her round the throat and shoving her face into the shit what can you do?

 

NB, when I say "young girl" I mean 20ish rather than 12 or something.

[Cavcraft]

You've got the easiest one to sort, Tim. Just follow her home one day and simply collect all the dog shit you can in pooh bags and return it through her letterbox at 3.00am.

[eddyramrod]

Yes, but that means he has to spend 74p in Asda for a roll of bags.  She isn't worth it.

[dave21478]

I am well aware that my own vocabulistics could be done gooder and that its a bit of an Autoshite tradition to have certain phrases and abbreviations in our posting styles, but posts are getting more and more like memes on I Can Haz Cheezburgr here every day.

[dollywobbler]

I am well aware that my own vocabulistics could be done gooder and that its a bit of an Autoshite tradition to have certain phrases and abbreviations in our posting styles, but posts are getting more and more like memes on I Can Haz Cheezburgr here every day.

 

There are some threads of that nature that I just don't read at all. I don't mind the odd but of Cheezburgr slang here and there, but some folk do get rather carried away.

[EssDeeWon]

Old boy in the petrol station this morning filling up an Almera with LPG? Not really a grump but these can't be that bad on fuel surely!? I'm guessing it's a similar scenario to having solar panels fitted on the roof of your house, if you stay living there for about 10 years then you eventually start to see reduced electricity bills.

[BavarianRetro]

There are some threads of that nature that I just don't read at all. I don't mind the odd but of Cheezburgr slang here and there, but some folk do get rather carried away.

I disagree. I like them. It keeps the brain active trying to work out what - in one particular case - clearly intelligent, if eccentric, people are wittering on about. Additionally, they are just so amusing. Hilarious, and clever too.

 

Just fucking stop it!

[beko1987]

I try to limit the cheeseburger slang now, mainly because it's a pain forcing my phone to not autocorrect what I'm writing

[Jazoli]

I disagree. I like them. It keeps the brain active trying to work out what - in one particular case - clearly intelligent, if eccentric, people are wittering on about. Additionally, they are just so amusing. Hilarious, and clever too.

 

Just fucking stop it!

 

It is a bit pathetic really, I think it just shows who is a bit dim and who isn't on here.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Just towed the Gaylander2 home, sounds like rear dif or Haldex or transfer box or prop splines or driveshafts or .......

Wonder if you can remove the propshaft for better economy* on these?

Apparently the countries premier Ewok/Gaylander expert is in LordSterlings manor and is very helpful by all accounts- so I'm not touching it till I've spoken to him on Monday.

What's the betting there'll be no change from a monkey ?

Of course it's all my fault for not selling it and sorting the CLK out for the summer.

[Cavcraft]

I am well aware that my own vocabulistics could be done gooder and that its a bit of an Autoshite tradition to have certain phrases and abbreviations in our posting styles, but posts are getting more and more like memes on I Can Haz Cheezburgr here every day.

 

It's ok, they're just a glaring advertisement of what not to read.

[primeradoner]

You've got the easiest one to sort, Tim. Just follow her home one day and simply collect all the dog shit you can in pooh bags and return it through her letterbox at 3.00am.

Ive got a tip from a "friend" if you decide on this course of action. If you give the dog turds a quick blast with plumbers pipe freeze spray it makes them easier to get through the letter box. One they are inside central heating does the rest.

[dave21478]

Just towed the Gaylander2 home, sounds like rear dif or Haldex or transfer box or prop splines or driveshafts or .......

Wonder if you can remove the propshaft for better economy* on these?

Apparently the countries premier Ewok/Gaylander expert is in LordSterlings manor and is very helpful by all accounts- so I'm not touching it till I've spoken to him on Monday.

What's the betting there'll be no change from a monkey ?

Of course it's all my fault for not selling it and sorting the CLK out for the summer.

 

Bummer.

I thought they had sorted this out on the 2s by replacing the destruct-o-matic viscous coupling with the Haldex system?

[twosmoke300]

Just had the pikemon sniffing round the yard . 2 Irish sounding guys rock up in a silver 05 fiesta and ask about a van that's in the yard saying he was a landscaper looking for a van . I told him it had no engine but " I'll tek it loike it is " yeh I bet you would ! Then asked about nearly every car in my yard while eyeballing everything .

Funnily enough he didn't have any business cards for his business . Car comes back as no mot or tax too - chancers .

I've reported it to the fuzz and so have a few other places they have visited but I doubt the coppers will bother with anything .

[Guest Hooli]

Just like my last rant...

 

 

FUCKING ESTATE AGENTS!

 

I've just had an email & text asking for feedback on a viewing this evening, the only problem being the shiney suited fucknugget didn't bother to call be back to say it was arranged so I didn't go as I didn't know it was arranged!

 

Rung them up & ranted at them, but I doubt it'll change anything.

[Timewaster]

Re Estate Agents *cough BASTARDS!!! cough* I would consider a note through the door of the prospective purchase letting them know how fucking useless the agent that they are paying thousands to is.

They are the agents customers, not you.