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Posted

More of a cringe than a grump, but popped down to see my Mum today, who asked me to check a box of books she'd found in the loft since she didn't know if they were mine or my Dad's. Opened it and didn't recognise the top layer but thought I'd check underneath anyway - which duly revealed his stash of 1980's porn mags

Hide them in hedges....

 

Analogue porn

Posted

I think 25th May is a new record for me being thoroughly sick to fucking death of summer.

  • Like 3
Posted

The heat and hay fever can certainly fuck off out of my life that's for sure

Posted

I rode 19 miles on the pushbike today to go and pick my Abarth back up from my mums just because it's got aircon. It was a flippin nightmare, but the drive home made up for it.

  • Like 3
Posted

This bollocks

 

dbe42bce7fe24817bdffcef60affecc4.png

 

Shite Bank Holiday weather, rapidly returning to sunshine in time for Back To Work Tuesday.

Posted

Wasps.

 

Pointless, vicious little stripey yellow feckers.

 

 

  • Like 8
Posted

Just out from seeing the specialist over my back. Looks like a third op is on the cards and I'll be setting off airport scanners soon

Posted

Idiots making requests for disruptive things to happen, just as they go away on annual leave.

 

 

I got a request this morning from the head of finance for a department, to remove 17 phone lines which didn't have any names against them. This is because they will have been racking up line rental, chargeable to the department.

 

I go ahead and remove all the phone lines, completely. Without question, because when a head of finance says "Jump", IT Services reply with "how high?"

 

 

I then receive a support call from a user in one of the affected buildings saying their phone has stopped working. Their number is one of the numbers I removed. When we say contact the switchboard ASAP after you get a phone to get the details updated, we mean it.

Anyway, I then get back in touch with the head of finance who requested this line removal, to get permission to reinstate it.

The response I get is an automatic out-of-office "I am on annual leave until Tuesday the 30th of May"

 

REALLY?! You request something as potentially disruptive as the removal of a heap of phone lines when you're in for a half-day before a long weekend off? You eejit.

 

 

I reinstated the phoneline (by heading back across campus... AGAIN, with a phone and some tools in hand) post-haste with no authorisation, and sent them a follow-up email explaining exactly what I did and why. Thank fuck it was only one out of the seventeen they requested removed... so far.

  • Like 5
Posted

I am 30 and I like Radio 2... however "How many people should you have in your household, before you need a dishwasher?" I switch to KCFM the local old-ish station "My dad says you can't have baked beans with fish and chips... do you like baked beans with fish and chips?"

 

My new favourite station is the one provided by the off button.

I don't listen to the radio for many reasons...

However, I had KCFM on during my commute.

 

"How do you feel about opening other people's mail? How do you feel about people opening your mail?... Well I asked the people of Hessle"

 

Fuck me, I'd love to be a DJ. I'd play Free Bird followed by Won't Get Fooled Again and I wouldnt ask this absolute shite.

Posted

Warm weather has brought out idiot drivers who don't look before pulling out. One this morning and two this afternoon. Also just had estate ( royal protection) police round. If current state of alert continues we're going to get armed response stationed here. Oddly the sight of armed men doesn't fill me with a nice warm secure feeling.

  • Like 2
Posted

Fuck me, I'd love to be a DJ. I'd play Free Bird followed by Won't Get Fooled Again and I wouldnt ask this absolute shite.

Sadly you would play what you are told.

 

Unless

1.you rise to radio royalty like Wogan or Peel then you might be able to tweak things to your liking.

 

Or

 

2. You get a gig on a hospital or community station by having your own records to play.

Guest Hooli
Posted

Idiots making requests for disruptive things to happen, just as they go away on annual leave.

 

 

I got a request this morning from the head of finance for a department, to remove 17 phone lines which didn't have any names against them. This is because they will have been racking up line rental, chargeable to the department.

 

I go ahead and remove all the phone lines, completely. Without question, because when a head of finance says "Jump", IT Services reply with "how high?"

 

 

I then receive a support call from a user in one of the affected buildings saying their phone has stopped working. Their number is one of the numbers I removed. When we say contact the switchboard ASAP after you get a phone to get the details updated, we mean it.

Anyway, I then get back in touch with the head of finance who requested this line removal, to get permission to reinstate it.

The response I get is an automatic out-of-office "I am on annual leave until Tuesday the 30th of May"

 

REALLY?! You request something as potentially disruptive as the removal of a heap of phone lines when you're in for a half-day before a long weekend off? You eejit.

 

 

I reinstated the phoneline (by heading back across campus... AGAIN, with a phone and some tools in hand) post-haste with no authorisation, and sent them a follow-up email explaining exactly what I did and why. Thank fuck it was only one out of the seventeen they requested removed... so far.

 

 

That's exactly why they do it when their off. They don't suffer the shit when it goes tits up.

 

Just like project managers are always on leave when stuff goes live.

  • Like 2
Posted

But remember, that leave was booked in for after the go live date, and it's only delayed because of supplier/accreditation/remediation issues that couldn't* have been anticipated.

  • Like 2
Posted

Wait.

 

Do you guys have webcams set up in our project management team's office? You know them very well. :D

  • Like 1
Guest Hooli
Posted

Wait.

 

Do you guys have webcams set up in our project management team's office? You know them very well. :D

 

I suffer NHS project managers daily, they are exactly the same.

 

Have yours perfected the art of knowing which projects will be the biggest ballaches & refusing to have anything to do with them as they are 'too busy'? Ours have so the important projects aren't managed & we end up trying to sort it all out as well as doing the techy stuff.

 

£250k of new server hardware ordered before anyone asked what was needed or if there was room for it....(it's wrong & no)

  • Like 2
Posted

Never underestimate the persuasive power of a salesman coming to the end of the half year, with too little in his pot to keep his commission.

 

...nor his greed and selfishness. The rest of us only exist to buy his ill-conceived 'solutions' or clean up the mess left behind when he's off on the golf holiday everyone else just paid for.

 

Sent from my BV6000 using Tapatalk

Posted

I suffer NHS project managers daily, they are exactly the same.

 

 

£250k of new server hardware ordered before anyone asked what was needed or if there was room for it....(it's wrong & no)

If that's the extent of your mad march you've done pretty fucking well.

Posted

Today was too hot. Work was a sweaty hell, I've just gotten home and I'm gross.

 

Today was so hot the plastic on my rear view mirror in the Civic went soft and made it unable to point any other direction than down. Fuck black leather seats in this weather, man...

  • Like 3
Posted

DMF on the way out on my dads October 2013 '63' reg Mondeo 1.6 TDCI already at only 75,000 miles, only bought 31/08/2016 on 51,500 miles. Massive bill looming.

 

Not brilliant considering I thought Fords were more durable than Vauxhalls and VWs and his Vectra lasted to 140,000 and the Jetta 120,000 before theirs gave up which is fair enough, 75,000 out of one seems very poor. Hopefully other than this it proves to be more reliable than the VW (various major faults but little inbetween, 1 big failure, 9 months later another but no minor issues inbetween) or Vauxhall (no other major failures but constant minor things, coil springs, drop links, track rod ends, ball joints, bushes, banana arms, always some fault or clunk/knock/squeak from somewhere!)

Posted

Modern diesel in big bill shock horror.........its hardly surprising really :)

 

I'm grumpy today as I'm sick and tired of the wife's fucking snoring, every fucking night I get woken up by her grunting like a mating fucking hippo, can't remember the last time I had a full nights sleep.

 

And this is with wearing the highest snr rated earplugs, think its time to move into the spare room.

  • Like 2
Posted

DMF on the way out on my dads October 2013 '63' reg Mondeo 1.6 TDCI already at only 75,000 miles, only bought 31/08/2016 on 51,500 miles. Massive bill looming.

 

Not brilliant considering I thought Fords were more durable than Vauxhalls and VWs and his Vectra lasted to 140,000 and the Jetta 120,000 before theirs gave up which is fair enough, 75,000 out of one seems very poor. Hopefully other than this it proves to be more reliable than the VW (various major faults but little inbetween, 1 big failure, 9 months later another but no minor issues inbetween) or Vauxhall (no other major failures but constant minor things, coil springs, drop links, track rod ends, ball joints, bushes, banana arms, always some fault or clunk/knock/squeak from somewhere!)

 

I know I'm duty bound to say this, but hand on heart I've heard of nowhere near the amount of DMF failure on Vectras compared to Mondeos.

  • Like 1
Posted

Sadly you would play what you are told.

 

Unless

1.you rise to radio royalty like Wogan or Peel then you might be able to tweak things to your liking.

 

Or

 

2. You get a gig on a hospital or community station by having your own records to play.

 

3) You say 'great show/love it/you're the best' at the end of every dedication you read out.

  • Like 1
Posted

Whilst you lot are sat at home in the UK boiling your nads off, I'm currently in the Deep South of Italy where it's 18 degrees and hammering it down. Flight home is tonight and at the minute I can hardly wait!

Posted

Sadly you would play what you are told.

 

 

And that is why radio needs to die. Luckily my Skodafone contact came with 12 months Spotify.

 

...

post-8806-0-88828900-1495785758_thumb.png

Posted

3) You say 'great show/love it/you're the best' at the end of every dedication you read out.

Whilst talking over the beginning and ending, and sometimes middle of what you are playing

  • Like 2
Posted

Fucksake. 

 

My original shitefest plan was to do an early at work, home for 4.30, grab Eva whilst leaving the car running then off to peterboghorror to dump her at my dads, then to shitefest for bedtime...

 

Turns out it's half term, so winnah, can leave after breakfast and get to the museum by just after lunch... Except I seem to have forgotten to book holiday, can't see it on my holiday form. Not a problem, so I thought...

 

In our office, the Royal Mail department is 2 people, they took over from me last year. One has just gone on sick for 2 weeks... I've been asked to dive back into the job I did for 8 years to support... Chances of me finishing before 5.30 on friday, slim... I'll turn the waterworks on later and see what happens. My default response of 'why can't yvonne do it on her own? I did it on my own for 6 years' may not go down well however

Guest Hooli
Posted

My answer would be, 'can do but I AM leaving at 4.30'.

  • Like 2

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