What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[Mally]

I doubt Bradley Walsh writes his own scripts.

Unlike you.

[Pieman]

I always work unscripted, thanks

[HillmanImp]

Look at this chuffin' numpty trying to tell the chap who own the car that he doesn't know what kind of car it is. He only fucking owns it mate. 

With that IQ you can imagine the guy barking at himself in the middle of the night after waking himself up with one of his own farts. 

[sierraman]

Getting there! Waiting on new bumper. Tail light picked up and fitted tonight! £10. 

[twosmoke300]

What is the difference between a robin and a Rialto ? Apart from the lights ?

[jakebullet]

Spotted grin.

Ovlov

Disabled badge - bumper damage consistent with guide dog doing the parking

Gaffer tape rust repair*

 

[Cheggers]

To bloody true, still not found the extension and torx I dropped in the undertray a few weeks ago!

I remember losing a 12mm socket which dropped into the undertray of my Alfa 159. Little did I know it had wedged itself between the undertray and the sump. I only found out when I lightly kissed the undertray on a speed hump which drove the bolt clean through the sump...oil everywhere

[Tamworthbay]

I have two different 10mm spanners, all found down the side of the engine on my wife’s old Mazda. I can only presume some poor sod lost both doing the same job a couple of times, or possibly at the same time. Both appeared as if by magic when we pulled the engine up and explained the slight rattle we had never managed to diagnose. One is a nice quality King dick one with a really slim shank that is great for getting into tight spaces.

[HillmanImp]

31 minutes ago, twosmoke300 said:

What is the difference between a robin and a Rialto ? Apart from the lights ?

Probably not a lot. They're a bit like Maserati's in that sense. 

[sierraman]

1 hour ago, twosmoke300 said:

What is the difference between a robin and a Rialto ? Apart from the lights ?

What pit they worked at. 

[barmatt]

I've got a snap-on 10mm (I know, A 10mm!!)  long reach socket I found under the centre console of a Honda I had last year for a bit. I guess someone was trying to adjust the handbrake cables, it dropped off and they couldn't be bothered to take the whole bloody console out to retrieve it.

Thanks.

[High Jetter]

1 hour ago, twosmoke300 said:

What is the difference between a robin and a Rialto ? Apart from the lights ?

Robin was made up to 1982, Rialto 82 - 97.

[HillmanImp]

7 hours ago, High Jetter said:

Robin was made up to 1982, Rialto 82 - 97.

They started making the Robin alongside the Rialto again in the late 80s though. 

They then made them awkward looking ones with the Corsa headlights didn't they. 

[captain_70s]

I found a set of feeler gauges in the Acclaim's bonnet shut just yesterday.

I mean, they're mine and must have been forgotten when I was checking the plug gaps on Friday, but still...

[HillmanImp]

1 hour ago, captain_70s said:

I found a set of feeler gauges in the Acclaim's bonnet shut just yesterday.

I mean, they're mine and must have been forgotten when I was checking the plug gaps on Friday, but still...

I once found a screwdriver on the engine of one of my cars. I noticed it as the car suddenly had a bonnet bulge where it hadn't before.

[myglaren]

She's insane

 

[HillmanImp]

23 hours ago, HillmanImp said:

Look at this chuffin' numpty trying to tell the chap who own the car that he doesn't know what kind of car it is. He only fucking owns it mate. 

 

With that IQ you can imagine the guy barking at himself in the middle of the night after waking himself up with one of his own farts. 

Ha, the guys selling this Maxi on Facebook now. Props to anyone that goes on there and says

'It's not a maxi mate' 

[outlaw118]

On 1/21/2020 at 6:37 PM, Mally said:

I doubt Bradley Walsh writes his own scripts.

FACT: My stepdaughter's other half is a question writer on The Chase, and he is aware of this place. (OBVS)
I'll have a word.

[HillmanImp]

Everyones probably seen this but everytime I see the chase I think of it. 

 

[Pieman]

22 hours ago, Tamworthbay said:

a nice quality King dick...with a really slim shank that is great for getting into tight spaces.

[Rovorsche]

22 hours ago, Tamworthbay said:

I have two different 10mm spanners, all found down the side of the engine on my wife’s old Mazda. I can only presume some poor sod lost both doing the same job a couple of times, or possibly at the same time. Both appeared as if by magic when we pulled the engine up and explained the slight rattle we had never managed to diagnose. One is a nice quality King dick one with a really slim shank that is great for getting into tight spaces.

In a similar vein, yesterday I achieved two things

1 - Solved the odd clonking noise in the BMW

2 - Started my collection of SnapOn tools

 

I guess it was left behind when the Aircon was scrapped, found it wedged between the back of the engine and the bulkhead.
Closer to being a chisel than a precision tool but the brand name is still supposed to mean something.

[HillmanImp]

19 minutes ago, Tayne said:

I am neither a pensioner nor unemployed so I have never seen The Chase.

The only reason I have is that its on ITV4 after the Sweeney. 

[Tamworthbay]

32 minutes ago, Pieman said:

Well I am glad that one person got it  o er

 

[outlaw118]

This bloke, Samus. Discovered when he played on Devin Townsend's last album, absolutely amazing speed/metal drummer. And a bit of a nutter, as drummers invariably are.

A drum "cover version" if you like.

 

 

[NorfolkNWeigh]

MrsN called earlier; " I've started putting petrol in my car" ( Merc ML 350 CDi)

"Me-How much?"

Her- "About £3.20s worth"

Me -"Thank fuck for that, just brim it with diesel, it'll be fine"

That would have been an end to it, phone rings again....

Her - " Bloke in garage said it'll wreck the engine and not to even unlock the door !"

Me- " Tell him thanks, but just take the £3.20 and restart the pump for diesel"

Her- " He says he won't!, as he's responsible and he's given me a card for miss-fuelling man"

Me - " Tell him to fuck off and mind his own business"

Her- " I'm not doing that because I'm not rude like you"

Hangs up.

20 minutes later I get a text;

Just put £123.00 of diesel in this thing. If you'd filled it up at the weekend this would never have happened, I want a Tesla. X

Seems petrol station bloke is on a commission form mis-fuel  bloke.

ML has done 140 miles since and seems OK.

[Garythesnail]

7 minutes ago, NorfolkNWeigh said:

Just put £123.00 of diesel in this thing.

I know you end up using the same amount of fuel no matter what size of tank it is . . . . . but £123 in one go?.

[barmatt]

1 hour ago, Tayne said:

I am neither a pensioner nor unemployed so I have never seen The Chase.

I'm neither of those things either but I have seen it, only because my sister went on it and she did well, won £10k.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

8 minutes ago, Garythesnail said:

I know you end up using the same amount of fuel no matter what size of tank it is . . . . . but £123 in one go?.

Yes I was a bit surprised, I think she was at a BP on the A421 near Bedford, so was probably more expensive than a  supermarket and it's a 90litre tank. I usually do pay at pump,at Tesco and it stops at £99 so I've never seen it full.  In  contrast  my E-Class never takes more than £70 even when I 've done 30 miles with the range on zero. 

[Tadhg Tiogar]

9 hours ago, myglaren said:

She's insane

 

She was quite good in the film Shooting Fish

[Pillock]

The youngest is doing motor vehicle maintenance at college, and he's doing work experience this term at a garage. 

Sent me this photo today of what he's been doing some work on...