What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[New POD]

Those of you lucky* enough to remember the Datsuncog epic Rennersaga from earlier in the year (quick summary for those not listening at the back: two Phase 1 Lagunas go terminally tits-up in the space of a month) may not be aware of the other slight ball-ache that resulted from that particular sorry tale - a long pair of ladders belonging to DC Senior were now trapped in Carrick.

 

I'd borrowed these ladders to clear the guttering over Easter, only for TAZ to blow its engine on Easter Monday. The official Renault Accessory roof bars I'd used to bring the ladders up to the house won't fit anything other than a Laguna 1, and especially not the stupid 'solid' roof rails on the Lags' replacement, the Subaru Forester.

 

In fact, although I have THREE sets of roof bars, none of the bastards fit the Forester (I also have some bars to fit cars with rain gutters, last used on the non-MrsDC-approved Polo breadvan; plus a set of bars for 'open' roof rails, last put to use on the extravagantly bodged XM estate) - and since my folks' cars don't have roof bars (Fiat 500 and BMW Z3 floppytop) it seemed the ladders were perpetually stranded in Co. Antrim.

 

I couldn't find a set of bars for less than about £170 for the Subaru, and even a set for the Yaris would set me back about £150; it would have been cheaper to just buy a new set of ladders and call it quits. Except I couldn't afford to replace my oul' da's ladders either, and noises were being made about the need to get bargeboards painted before winter etc...

 

Anyroad, having continued to fruitlessly trawl Ebay and Gumtree for Forester bars, last Friday I happened across an Ebay listing for a set of very inexpensive new ones, listed as fitting a 2003 Forester. Basic looking, but only £47.99 - and claiming free UK postage, too.

 

I was initially somewhat sceptical - if you want to hear an umpassioned and unhinged rant, ask me my opinions on 'free UK postage' that only covers England, Wales and the bit of Scotland south of Dunfermaline (THAT'S NOT THE FUCKING UK, THAT'S NOT EVEN ALL OF GB), most recently encountered when a set of whisky tumblers offered with 'free UK postage' turned out to have a £30 'postage surcharge' levied to send to Northern Ireland - but I was pleasantly surprised that this particular retail enterprise - Yogi24 Ltd - was based in Belfast. Free postage did indeed apply.

 

I cashed in various Nectar points and drew down my remaining PayPal balance from vinyl/diecast sales at the checkout, which meant that I only needed to stump up £18 in actual cash monies. And hit 'Buy'. That was at about 3pm on Friday; I hoped that they might arrive sometime before next weekend.

 

At one o'clock on Saturday, a text came through from Yodel to say that my Ebay vendor item had been delivered and left with a neighbour.

 

Sure enough, there were the bars already. While not quite Thule Aero quality, they fit the car and seem pretty damn sturdy.

 

A set of Forester roof bars for £18, delivered to my door with no fuss or hassle in 22 hours.

 

Grin? I think my jaw might fall off.

 

 

 

 

(Which hopefully the ladders won't when I repatriate them on Thursday.)

Ratchet strap them to the rear doors so if the rack fails the ladders stay on top.

 

Says the man that brought home 7 6x6 fence panels from.homebase on top of an AX with no roof rack.

[New POD]

Ratchet strap them to the rear doors so if the rack fails the ladders stay on top.

 

Says the man that brought home 7 6x6 fence panels from.homebase on top of an AX with no roof rack.

Incidently if anyone knows of a similar deal for a roof rack designed for an omega saloon, let me know.

[Wack]

Noticed in the insurance renewal (after paying for it) that I've only held my licence for one year.

I feel fifteen years younger now.

Aviva are at least refunding £60.

I renewed my haulage insurance Monday, gone from 3.5t transit to a 3.5t ducato , nothing else has changed , extra premium £138

 

She couldn't explain why , computer says so , I ask how much to put the transit on cover for 2 weeks to give me a chance to sell it , , she comes back including the £138 that takes it to ,£415 ,

 

Fuck that then

[Datsuncog]

Incidently if anyone knows of a similar deal for a roof rack designed for an omega saloon, let me know.

 

Same bloke can, apparently, supply bars for an Omega B saloon for £33.95, including delivery.

 

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Vauxhall-Omega-B-Saloon-94-03-Roof-Bars-U-120-120cm-Pair-of/291899858066

[Zelandeth]

20170831_182046.jpg

 

20170831_182037.jpg

 

20170831_183517.jpg

 

The driver pulled forward from the parking bay not realising there was a drop and just sat there balanced with his back wheels spinning.

What, they drove off without paying the slightest attention to their surroundings? Doesn't sound like anything a BMW driver would do...oh, wait...

[catsinthewelder]

When I was about 9 my mum did that in her brand new Fiesta and asked me not to tell dad.

 

Being as the car weighed fuck all 2 random blokes pushed it back.

[Sloth in a bowl]

Those of you lucky* enough to remember the Datsuncog epic Rennersaga from earlier in the year (quick summary for those not listening at the back: two Phase 1 Lagunas go terminally tits-up in the space of a month) may not be aware of the other slight ball-ache that resulted from that particular sorry tale - a long pair of ladders belonging to DC Senior were now trapped in Carrick.

 

I'd borrowed these ladders to clear the guttering over Easter, only for TAZ to blow its engine on Easter Monday. The official Renault Accessory roof bars I'd used to bring the ladders up to the house won't fit anything other than a Laguna 1, and especially not the stupid 'solid' roof rails on the Lags' replacement, the Subaru Forester.

 

In fact, although I have THREE sets of roof bars, none of the bastards fit the Forester (I also have some bars to fit cars with rain gutters, last used on the non-MrsDC-approved Polo breadvan; plus a set of bars for 'open' roof rails, last put to use on the extravagantly bodged XM estate) - and since my folks' cars don't have roof bars (Fiat 500 and BMW Z3 floppytop) it seemed the ladders were perpetually stranded in Co. Antrim.

 

I couldn't find a set of bars for less than about £170 for the Subaru, and even a set for the Yaris would set me back about £150; it would have been cheaper to just buy a new set of ladders and call it quits. Except I couldn't afford to replace my oul' da's ladders either, and noises were being made about the need to get bargeboards painted before winter etc...

 

Anyroad, having continued to fruitlessly trawl Ebay and Gumtree for Forester bars, last Friday I happened across an Ebay listing for a set of very inexpensive new ones, listed as fitting a 2003 Forester. Basic looking, but only £47.99 - and claiming free UK postage, too.

 

I was initially somewhat sceptical - if you want to hear an umpassioned and unhinged rant, ask me my opinions on 'free UK postage' that only covers England, Wales and the bit of Scotland south of Dunfermline (THAT'S NOT THE FUCKING UK, THAT'S NOT EVEN ALL OF GB), most recently encountered when a set of whisky tumblers offered with 'free UK postage' turned out to have a £30 'postage surcharge' levied to send to Northern Ireland - but I was pleasantly surprised that this particular retail enterprise - Yogi24 Ltd - was based in Belfast. Free postage did indeed apply.

 

I cashed in various Nectar points and drew down my remaining PayPal balance from vinyl/diecast sales at the checkout, which meant that I only needed to stump up £18 in actual cash monies. And hit 'Buy'. That was at about 3pm on Friday; I hoped that they might arrive sometime before next weekend.

 

At one o'clock on Saturday, a text came through from Yodel to say that my Ebay vendor item had been delivered and left with a neighbour.

 

Sure enough, there were the bars already. While not quite Thule Aero quality, they fit the car and seem pretty damn sturdy.

 

A set of Forester roof bars for £18, delivered to my door with no fuss or hassle in 22 hours.

 

Grin? I think my jaw might fall off.

 

 

 

 

(Which hopefully the ladders won't when I repatriate them on Thursday.)

Surely, the properly Irish solution would have been to tie the ladders across the car on the roof bars.

[Datsuncog]

Surely, the properly Irish solution would have been to tie the ladders across the car on the roof bars.

 

Yeah, the local peelers and I had a cosy wee chat a few years back about appropriate carriage of longer loads on the public highway...

 

 

[nomiST]

Snip*

 

Sure enough, there were the bars already. While not quite Thule Aero quality, they fit the car and seem pretty damn sturdy.

 

A set of Forester roof bars for £18, delivered to my door with no fuss or hassle in 22 hours.

 

Grin? I think my jaw might fall off.

 

 

 

 

(Which hopefully the ladders won't when I repatriate them on Thursday.)

I've the self same bars for my 2003 Forester, they'm perfect for a double ladder.  But, BUT, does anyone know where I put that tubular box spanner thing that tightens them to the roof rails? Missing, proper missing, and no socket I own will fit. 

 

For info: a set of Rothenberger kitchen tap spanners contains one that will do the job.

 

-Simon

[Zelandeth]

The clock I bought off eBay a few days ago (cheeky bid I never thought would win) arrived today. Despite having been less than a fiver it actually turned up, and was very well packaged. Double boxed with bubble wrap and packing peanuts (the biodegradable ones at that) in the void. Additional padding provided on the front to protect the hands too. Best packing job I've seen in years.

 

Best bit though was period packing materials still in the inner box, Radio Times circa 1961. Gives a good idea of the age then! Have to assume it was packed away during a house move or redecoration back then and was just forgotten about.

[Kiltox]

Not a fan of these gimmicky advent calendars that seem to be everywhere this year but this did make me smile when I saw it in Lidl earlier

 

https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/m.huffingtonpost.co.uk/amp/entry/lidl-is-selling-a-diy-tool-kit-advent-calendar-because-nothing-says-christmas-like-a-spare-drill-bit_uk_5be16dd0e4b01ffb1d05e9d1/

[Remspoor]

Sent by a friend from the BBC.

sweeeeeedish.mp4

[Zelandeth]

Five quid off eBay, arrived properly packed, and works just fine.

 

 

 

Was packed with newspaper clippings from 1961...

[They_all_do_that_sir]

Yeah, the local peelers and I had a cosy wee chat a few years back about appropriate carriage of longer loads on the public highway...

 

P1060979.JPG

 

Bet you wish you still had the ovlov

 

Sent from my TA-1012 using Tapatalk

[hairnet]

hi viz on the back woulda been fine (bai)

[iainrcz]

Well I'm a bit torn. I missed Grimsby town walloping Tranmere 5-2 last night.

 

But

 

I have just had a massive plate of fried mushrooms, bacon, poached eggs, sausages, black pudding, grilled tomatoes and toast.

 

Can't beat a fry up.

 

Sent from my VFD 710 using Tapatalk

[Datsuncog]

Bet you wish you still had the ovlov

 

Damn right I do... I used it as a mobile skip for 18 months during a house renovation, and in all that time it cost me one headlight bulb and one windscreen washer jet. Heated seats and all; I really liked driving it. The roar and suck of that two-litre redblock on a crisp winter's morn was glorious.

 

 

But it was a thirsty oul yoke (compared to the XM TD that it replaced) and I kept thinking that something was gonna go wrong on it, for no real reason... so when I MOT'd it and the examiner told me that it was a pass this year, but the back end was rough as a badger's arse and was gonna need some serious work soon, I sold it back to its previous owner (for £30 less than I'd paid for it).

 

I believe it ended its days at Mildenhall Raceway not that long after... I can't kid myself that I ever would have put the work in to get it properly fixed. Old 240s were still a relatively common sight six years back, but they're really thin on the ground now...

 

Of course, I was so worried that the Volvo was going to break down that I replaced it with a facelift Alfa 156...

 

I know. Not one of my finer moves.

[Datsuncog]

hi viz on the back woulda been fine (bai)

The hi-viz fell off somewhere around Woodburn! My own fault for using electrical tape...

[Guest Hooli]

Well I'm a bit torn. I missed Grimsby town walloping Tranmere 5-2 last night.

 

But

 

I have just had a massive plate of fried mushrooms, bacon, poached eggs, sausages, black pudding, grilled tomatoes and toast.

 

Can't beat a fry up.

 

Sent from my VFD 710 using Tapatalk

 

 

Not suffering chavball & a fry up both sound like a win to me!

[Ohdearme]

Kitchen in process of being renovated, for no logical reason I decided to move the fridge freezer instead of going to bed at 2a.m.

 

Naturally all went to plan, I had to remove the doors to get it through a space, spilt half the contents of the fridge on the floor and the it ripped the Lino up in the kitchen. Why does this make me smile?

 

Because I got to execute this stunning* repair to the lino which was so brazen in its shitness the wife didn’t even pass comment

 

Kids equally awestruck

[mrbenn]

You're a craftsman, no other word for it!

 

If a child's face could ever say "What the actual fuck?" then there it is

[xtriple]

Well I LURVE my new fridge freezer, it is epic! Also, bloody huge and what filled the old one to overflowing, looks utterly lost in the new one. It is also white, all kitchen appliances should be white and the old one was silver. I refuse to do the joke about wedding dresses...

 

Also, another bin day, another fucking gale force wind and another dent in the side of the car from upstairs' bins!

[320touring]

REPAIR WASHERZ FIX ALL!

 

 

 

Description of wot I dun is in the Audi Skip Fred..

[anonymous user]

I wouldn't be able to resist taping the outline of a body if I was taping up the floor.

[somewhatfoolish]

Also, another bin day, another fucking gale force wind and another dent in the side of the car from upstairs' bins!

You've got a bloody garage; has the freeloader been given marching orders yet?

[Dirk Diggler]

After two wrong'uns v70 d5 lift pump finally found, ordered, confirmed by part number and apparently here tomorrow; the €300 700000 km dsg Octavia is heading for a swap for a Pajero Junior for winter transport (may have slight Flintstones type issues)

 

Pictures of exciting road that flashes by underneath from the comfort of inside as we drive to follow

 

We've put nearly 4000km on said Octavia in a month; it's a a golden age of cheap shite here

[Floatylight]

Been working in Hereford today so some excellent Hooning between Bridgnorth and Ludlow on the B4364 along with spotting completely separately two Volvo 240's and an excellent garden shed/ lean to bodge around a tree.. (It's the small things...)

 

Sent from my Moto G (5) using Tapatalk

[DeeJay]

[Zelandeth]

Had a poke around online for clutch cylinders for the van...found three possibilities.  ...Then realised that the first half of the page was bloody sponsored ads for Dacia bits.  Cheers Google.

 

Sod that nonsense, wandered into the Merc dealer today, sixty seconds later they'd looked it up and had it ordered.  Should be with me on Friday.  Bit more expensive than eBay, but cheaper than GSF and ECP were offering.

 

Think I may have confused them slightly when I turned up in their car park in the Lada.  Still treated me like royalty who might be wanting to buy a brand new top of the line S-Class rather than bits for a 28 year old van.

[xtriple]

You've got a bloody garage; has the freeloader been given marching orders yet?

What do you think? I know I'm too soft but I do have limits... somewhere!