What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[Mally]

Wife had half a lung removed today.

Not really a grin, but it was full of cancer and she says all seems fine if you keep pressing the Morphine button.

Shes on some sort of research thing, lung cancer cure falls well behind many of the other types.

The people in the NHS really are fantastic.

So far so good.

[Mally]

However unlucky you are in life someone is always worse off than you, made a new contact at work today, a Mr Fook, bet secondary school was fun.............

 

I used to know someone called Alfred Hart.

[Pillock]

The London ULEZ requirements are getting beyond a jokeimage.jpeg

Oooh I wonder what that's testing?

[Tamworthbay]

Wife had half a lung removed today.

Not really a grin, but it was full of cancer and she says all seems fine if you keep pressing the Morphine button.

Shes on some sort of research thing, lung cancer cure falls well behind many of the other types.

The people in the NHS really are fantastic.

So far so good.

Twenty odd years ago I did my PhD on improving lung cancer survival rates simply by altering which drugs were used and when. When I see what they can do now it makes what we did look like the Stone Age. She is in good hands, hope she is feeling better soon.

[SiC]

Wife had half a lung removed today.

Not really a grin, but it was full of cancer and she says all seems fine if you keep pressing the Morphine button.

Shes on some sort of research thing, lung cancer cure falls well behind many of the other types.

The people in the NHS really are fantastic.

So far so good.

Sorry to hear this and best of luck to both of you. Hopefully the lung on the other side is all good still.

[SiC]

However unlucky you are in life someone is always worse off than you, made a new contact at work today, a Mr Fook, bet secondary school was fun.............

There was a Richard Head in the first secondary school I went too. I did point out the obvious once. Not a smart move when Richard is quite a bit bigger than you are...

[DodgeRover]

Oooh I wonder what that's testing?

With a bit of luck they're testing how long it takes to gas the inventors of the bloody LEZ using just environmentally friendly unicorn farts.

[fairkens]

I assumed, as will everyone else , that you named him after this man;

image.jpeg

 

Probably as well not to use his second name though.

I'd forgotten about him! Thats just made me grin

[Fumbler]

With some magic asbestos fairy dust blown in too. Oh, and with green music playing too.

[Mally]

Update on my wife, Surgeon been round this morning, all's fine, you can go home tomorrow or the day after.

Seems a bit early to me 2 days.

Everything I've read says minimum 2 to 3 days keyhole, 5 to 10 days if normal surgery.

She had normal as they've removed quite a bit.

She's made of strong stuff though, so we will see.

 

Anesthetist talking to her before putting her to sleep asked, any hobbies? "Car racing, used to race bangers".

Really? That's a first.

[Saabnut]

Wishing you both all the best - it is a rough road but hopefully it will start smoothing out now...

[Exiled_Tat_Gatherer]

Best of luck Mally - hope the lady missus recovers well and is up and about soon. Best wishes all round

[Tadhg Tiogar]

The bank has solved the mystery and confirmed that I had been saving more money than I thought I had. So it is in fact all mine, rather than just resting in my account. I have shoved it across into savings and am pleased to see that I now have enough money to pay for the CX gearbox rebuild, whenever that starts.

 

That went well, I thought....

[Kiltox]

just resting in my account. ....

HSBC customer I presume

[paulplom]

I used to know someone called Alfred Hart.

I was once in a car with Tom Jones, Mickey Jackson and Davey Bowie. Mr. Bowie was our site agent at the time. He's a joiner by trade. Tom Jones has a fabrication shop now and Mr. Jackson was a painter.

[cort1977]

Dunno why its sideways, but theres a bigger issue.

 

Apparently the idea is that people will notice and actually think about the speed they are doing on site. 

[Tadhg Tiogar]

HSBC customer I presume

 

Never banked with HSBC itself, but used to be a customer of First Direct in the late 1990s.

 

Now bank with someone else, and do not use any online or telephone banking.

[95 quid Peugeot]

The very helpful Mr chrisjvm of these pages, popped a couple of miles across Derby for a quick look at a Pug 607 for me, transpires it was shite, saved me wasting 1/2 day of my life..

Cheers Chris

[SierraMikeHotel]

I wasn't sure whether to put this in eBay tat, furthest car for sale, or here!  This is the only picture on the advert.

 

[fordperv]

Was having sone work done on the house electrics earlier and when they were switching it back on to check different circuits so the house alarm was going off, there was a knock at the door and when I opened the lad who lives next door was standing in the drive so he could look down the side of the house and look at the front door, bless him he thought we were being burgled so he thought he would knock on and keep watch if anyone ran out spooked, it made me smile that people who we don't really know look out for us

[Mally]

I was once in a car with Tom Jones, Mickey Jackson and Davey Bowie. Mr. Bowie was our site agent at the time. He's a joiner by trade. Tom Jones has a fabrication shop now and Mr. Jackson was a painter.

 

You were Max Clifford  AICMFP.

[paulplom]

You were Max Clifford AICMFP.

No just a plumber unfortunatley

 

Sent from my SM-G935F using Tapatalk

[Mally]

Perhaps as well in the long run.

[hairnet]

Famous for its lavvies.

long haired oafs

[Supernaut]

Job interview next Thursday. In Barrhead.

 

Nice long drive, then.

I neglected to mention I also have an interview tomorrow (in Aberdeen) and one next Tuesday in Dundee.

 

Glad I have a straight 6 automatic-gearboxed German coupe for eating up the miles.

[320touring]

Nice work on the interview front:)

[Wack]

A balding, white haired man walked into a jewelry store this past

Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side. He

told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.

The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.

 

The man said, 'No, I'd like to see something more special.'

 

At that statement, the jeweler went to his special stock and brought

another ring over. 'Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000the jeweler said.

The lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.

The old man seeing this said, 'We'll take it.'

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the man stated,

'By check. I know you need to make sure my check is good, so I'll write it now

and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds; I'll pick the ring up Monday afternoon.'

 

On Monday morning, the jeweler angrily phoned the old man and said

'Sir...There's no money in that account.

 

''I know,' said the old man...'But let me tell you about my weekend.’

 

Not All Seniors Are Senile...

 

[Joey spud]

[purplebargeken]

Retirement notice letter has been sent in.

 

This retirement stuff is real. Roll on 30th April 2019. 

[Aston Martin]

Probably one of those 'charity run' cars that makes less than the actual trip...