What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[DeeJay]

Are you barred yet for being ratted and telling borderline jokes.

[Cavcraft]

They weren't up for my suggestion of a 'bring your own music' night to get more punters in. Or at least not the bit where I suggested bringing some Sex Pistols LPs in. 

[Inspector Morose]

Are you barred yet for being ratted and telling borderline jokes.

No but twelve of them there last night now have new* cars.

[Mr A Lawrence]

the MiL suffers from bad arthritis in almost all of her joints and was referred to a "therapist" by social services for "treatment"

 

this happened on thursday, 

 

the treatment by the "therapist" was to sit her on a vibrating cushion then launch into a hard sell for a rise/recline massage chair for FIVE FUCKING THOUSAND POUNDS!!

 

we thought she said £500 at first as she said 499 then whispered the last 5.

 

when that sale seemed to be slipping away she offered her just a rise/recline for £3000, the whole point of her being there was to help with the pain which 15 mins sat on the vibrating cushion helped with so the was a pointless offer.

 

payment plan seemed ok at £17.50 a week but FIVE GRAND FOR A CHAIR!

 

last time i paid 5k for an electric reclining chair it came wrapped in a sleek metal body with a silky smooth V6 diesel engine and 12 months mot!

 

anyway, why is this in the grin thread?

 

due to my wifes EPIC ebay searching skills and a quite frankly BARE FACED CHEEK OFFER we procured a superb rise/recline massage chair second hand but in excellent shape and made by the same company that tried to sell the 5k chair to us.

 

it involved an epic road trip to the wilds of deepest darkest yarkshire in the fog to collect it.

 

the price for this fantastic ebay find???

 

including £20 in diesel NINETY FIVE FUCKING POUNDS YEAH BABY!!!

 

MiL is happy, were happy, seller is happy.

 

therapist can FRO!!

 

 

oh, and bonus grin, the 1500 quid mondeo has a cavernous boot, sips fuel, has a surprising turn of speed and is lovely and comfy to drive. A+++ highly recommended

[Kiltox]

Those chairs are such a fucking rip off. Very often available used for absolutely fuck all too

[clayts450]

And regularly featured on Watchdog's Rogue Traders - nice swerve there mate

[Coprolalia]

They're also bad long term as lack of use will weaken the muscles and worsen arthritis symptoms.

When I was GPing I would tell the old dears to get rid.

[fordperv]

Mrs fp and i have just been to sneak this into place ready for its wash, ribboning and ballooning up tomorrow morning ready for when she gets back from marakesh

20180304_193614.jpg

Took with mrs fp in a oh what's going on here so we can show her the effort

It's cleaned polished and everything is in place they are 20 miles away

 

[xtriple]

I went to the 'pain clinic' a few years ago and there was a locum instead of the usual blike, this 'locum' (he was about 65 and utterly useless) spent the entire time trying to sell us one of these wonder machines that would cure me entirely for £3K. Told him we were skint and concentrate on his job rather than try to flog tacky crap. I do get 'cranky' when I hurt lots.

 

Todays grin: I just went and bought electrickery on the key (saves bills    ) and got home and went to put the key in the meter, £00.02 left! Talk about cutting it fine!

[Parky]

Mr Lawrence, quality work there! The very ethos of the forum!

[fordperv]

Well it's handed over,

 

 

Thought she was going to have a heart attack

[vulgalour]

That's the happiest picture I've seen in ages.

 

 

I found the mystery graunchy noise on the Princess today.  It's just the exhaust knocking on something, so that'll get fixed when the new exhaust bit arrives sometime this week.

[beko1987]

Now see how fast she can drive it until the balloon vanishes!

[Exiled_Tat_Gatherer]

The shitehawk has landed, at last (7yr old has already claimed it as his car!).......... once I find the original SD1 delivery thread - I'll update and keep it all in one place. (Search sukks! and I've lost the bookmark somewhere)

 

FLat tyre - bollox......

 

 

 

She wouldn't fire up though - to be investigated tonight.

New garage leased so a big move to sort in the coming week(s) - grin as it should fit 5 cars at once - grump is there's a shitload of stuff to move to get going!

 

 

[Cavcraft]

It's cleaned polished and everything is in place they are 20 miles away

 

20180305_125047.jpg

 

That's a brilliant photograph (the handed over one) and as our besty Vulgalour pointed out, the happiest picture in ages.

 

 

 

A young female relative of mine took her car to a 'well known' chain or car purchasers recently. She hadn't told them about the EML being lit, so they offered £1,200 less than they said. Anyhow, a new appointment came, we stopped round the corner first, plugged the FCR in and the light went out and stayed out during the inspection. 

[Exiled_Tat_Gatherer]

Just sent the GF the photo's of the Lada - she's half French, half Polish...... and she loves it. I think this evening I may be able to explain me being MIA on my brithday to collect a £50 T5 estate....... here's hoping.

If I don't show up online tomorrow - check all nearby ditches!

[fordperv]

Vulg and cavcraft im extremely happy for her I love this woman with all of my heart like my own mum and would do anything for her.

 

We also got mrs fp aunty over from Holland as a surprise for her mum, so shortly after the car was handed over mrs fp aunty from Holland walked in with one of her other aunties and it all erupted again, she deserves it

[Guest Hooli]

The shitehawk has landed, at last (7yr old has already claimed it as his car!).......... once I find the original SD1 delivery thread - I'll update and keep it all in one place. (Search sukks! and I've lost the bookmark somewhere)

 

Click on your name at the top of the page, choose content & then use the box on the left to filter for topics. You'll get a list of threads you've started then.

[John F]

The shitehawk has landed, at last (7yr old has already claimed it as his car!).......... once I find the original SD1 delivery thread - I'll update and keep it all in one place. (Search sukks! and I've lost the bookmark somewhere)

 

FLat tyre - bollox......

Lada_1.jpg

 

Lada_2.jpg

 

Lada_3.jpg

 

She wouldn't fire up though - to be investigated tonight.

New garage leased so a big move to sort in the coming week(s) - grin as it should fit 5 cars at once - grump is there's a shitload of stuff to move to get going!

 

I hate to say it, but I really like your car. And yes, I know how shit it is.

 

100% ace. Keep us posted pls

[Roobarb]

Remembering the advert, (because of some of the songs) and then watching it on YouTube.

 

^^^ May contain some sheep in a Renault 5.

Baa Baa Baaa BaBaBaran! Hang on sloopy! Clever Trevor!

[Parky]

The old "What's yours called?" Campaign. That was a good one!

 

I remember one where Nicholas Parsons was driving one like a loon around a car park. Just as he was about to reverse into a post with the door open a guy woke up and yelled "SARAH!!!" prompting his partner to ask who Sarah was. This advert would invariably have been followed by one for Insignia After Shave or Gino Ginelli ice cream so would place it around 1987.

 

"Insignias got everything, shampoo to shower gel, deodorant and after shave, the one all over smell"

 

Those of a certain age will be humming that all day. You're welcome!

[AlabamaShrimp]

Bit of a long drive from 'Bradford' for chips

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p05zd5xg

 

Its one of Wakefields more expensive chippys but they are nice you just have to make sure to ask for them in paper not those stupid boxes!

 

Bonus fact!

That bloke taking the order used to drive a Mini. God only knows where he put his wheelchair in it.

[oldcars]

Got a couple of phones on Gumtree. Chap texts asking if it still for sale. Yes, he replies he is more than happy with the £80 asking price. Can he collect now. Text address and he pops round 30 mins later. No twixs, no deep fat fryers, no posting to Uncle Bert in Whales. I could hardly believe it.

[Jim Bell]

Hopefully his cheque clears ok.

[beko1987]

Gareths in a meeting so I made some sympathy

 

[Tadhg Tiogar]

..."Insignias got everything, shampoo to shower gel, deodorant and after shave, the one all over smell"

 

Those of a certain age will be humming that all day. You're welcome!

 

"It's new Insignia

And it's all over now...."

 

 

 

[Guest Hooli]

"Vectra's got everything, shampoo to shower gel, deodorant and after shave, the one all over smell"

 

Those of a certain age will be humming that all day. You're welcome!

 

Edited for the 00s

[HillmanImp]

The old "What's yours called?" Campaign. That was a good one!

 

I remember one where Nicholas Parsons was driving one like a loon around a car park. Just as he was about to reverse into a post with the door open a guy woke up and yelled "SARAH!!!" prompting his partner to ask who Sarah was. This advert would invariably have been followed by one for Insignia After Shave or Gino Ginelli ice cream so would place it around 1987.

 

"Insignias got everything, shampoo to shower gel, deodorant and after shave, the one all over smell"

 

Those of a certain age will be humming that all day. You're welcome!

 

At secondary school in music class we had to revamp Christmas carols for a project. We did 'Oh Little town of Bethlehem' to the tune of the Insignia advert. Went in pretty much perfectly. I still sing my version at Christmas rather than the boring original. 

[Parky]

Oh my God it does work!

 

Altogether now “Take home a Gino Ginelli ice creamo Piazza d’Italia”

[Tadhg Tiogar]

.....Altogether now “Take home a Gino Ginelli ice creamo Piazza d’Italia”

 

(sad)

 

"...Italian chic,

Italian style,

Italian verve,

Italian cool.

 

Toffee fudge 'n choc 'n nut,

Meent choc cheep-a

Tutti frutti whadda cutie,

Take a Gino home with you....

 

Gino, oh Gino Ginelli!!"

 

/(sad)