What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[Popsicle]

1 hour ago, Markeh said:

Pretty sure I managed it (albeit with pissing) back when I was a student.

You are about 7 foot tall, which must mean its got further to travel before coming out again 😀.

[High Jetter]

1 hour ago, reb said:

Can it process the pints into piss that fast though?

Dunno, I guess if it can't keep up the body does a Southern Water and lets it flow unprocessed?

[maxxo]

10 pisses

youd be correct about the pub as I don’t leave town for drinking

I’d been in there since 2ish

had some food as well to keep it down

its relatively easy if you space it correctly

[maxxo]

I can drink a very excessive amount

i don’t do it frequently, very rarely these days as it’s a terrible habit 

 

[maxxo]

12 minutes ago, CGSB said:

I can drink 20 pints, if I lie about it

In all honesty I do wish it were a lie

tomoreow wouldn’t be write off in that case

incouldnt do it with proper stuff, but I get the sense this is weak watered down drink so with relatively ease I can

 

as I say i don’t make a habit from it

 

feel free to join next time 😂 just give me time to recover haha

[Rust Collector]

27 minutes ago, CGSB said:

I can drink 20 pints, if I lie about it

I reckon someone could do 16 pints of 99p beer if they started in the afternoon, there can’t be that much beer in it. Piss a pint out, pour a pint in. Maybe throw in a tactical chunder if you outpace your bladder. Then go home, vomit some more, pass out, and have a three day hangover. Job done.

[Tayne]

35 minutes ago, maxxo said:

10 pisses

youd be correct about the pub as I don’t leave town for drinking

I’d been in there since 2ish

had some food as well to keep it down

its relatively easy if you space it correctly

16 pints is 9088ml.

At 4% ABV, that’s 363ml of alcohol.

I’ll be generous and call that 36 units.

Assuming a 2pm start and instant process at a rate of 1 unit per hour, you should be safe to drive by 4am on Saturday morning.

Please don’t get in the car tomorrow.

 

[maxxo]

21 minutes ago, Tayne said:

16 pints is 9088ml.

At 4% ABV, that’s 363ml of alcohol.

I’ll be generous and call that 36 units.

Assuming a 2pm start and instant process at a rate of 1 unit per hour, you should be safe to drive by 4am on Saturday morning.

Please don’t get in the car tomorrow.

 

Zero intention or need to drive until Tuesday

with the driving standards I’ve seen this week, I’ve been looking forward to a few days off

[jim89]

1 hour ago, High Jetter said:

Dunno, I guess if it can't keep up the body does a Southern Water and lets it flow unprocessed?

Back out the way it came in?

[Metal Guru]

I’m sure it’s possible if you’re all day drinking all day, say 10 am to midnight,. 14 hours . The  body can process a pint an hour of weakish  beer ( <4%). 

[myglaren]

[ProgRocker]

14 hours ago, maxxo said:

Currently in the local wetherspoons

ive accidentally drank 16 pints

If I did this today it would likely put me in a coma. 

[maxxo]

Just now, ProgRocker said:

If I did this today it would likely put me in a coma. 

I feel like I should be in a coma today 

[MikeR]

doorbell camera , very handy for looking at your frozen up car , then snuggling back into bed to listen to the neighbours scraping their cars ice off .

Looking back on the days when I would leave a fan heater in the car and flick the garage switch in the morning to defrost the car whilst I did the 4 S's and breakfast before going to work ...

[New POD]

13 hours ago, CGSB said:

I can drink 20 pints, if I lie about it

As @MikeR will confirm, 3 pints and my wallet gives up. 4 pints and I start vomiting.  

Over the whole Christmas break From Wednesday 18 Dec until 9 pm on New Year's Day, I have drunk maybe 15 units. 

At a new years eve party. I drank one unit. Interesting to see other people pissed thou. You realise how much shite they believe, but manage to keep to themselves until they've had 6 pints. 

[Tayne]

1 hour ago, MikeR said:

 whilst I did the 4 S's and breakfast before going to work ...

Shit

Shower 

Shave

and…..

A shoeshine? Sunny Delight? 

[reb]

1 minute ago, Tayne said:

Shit

Shower 

Shave

and…..

A shoeshine? Sunny Delight? 

Serial?

[DavieW]

4 minutes ago, Tayne said:

Shit

Shower 

Shave

and…..

A shoeshine? Sunny Delight? 

Shag?

[Rust Collector]

5 minutes ago, Tayne said:

Shit

Shower 

Shave

and…..

A shoeshine? Sunny Delight? 

Shit

Shower

Shit

Shit

At least that’s the 4 S’s if I’ve had my early morning coffees on an empty stomach.

[myglaren]

 

[Tayne]

2 hours ago, reb said:

Serial?

Or a sigarette 

[Matty]

16 hours ago, Metal Guru said:

I’m sure it’s possible if you’re all day drinking all day, say 10 am to midnight,. 14 hours . The  body can process a pint an hour of weakish  beer ( <4%). 

You'd think that wouldn't you. Years of practice and I still couldn't get to them limits!

[wuvvum]

On 02/01/2025 at 12:34, Sunny Jim said:

Looking forward to getting my freedom of movement back.

Welcome back to the happy* world of EU citizenship.  It does make things easier to be fair.

[hairnet]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cx27zwp7jpxo

wtf lol

bet the far east betting lot have made millions (the bent ones that do the footy and the snooker obvs)

also fuck apple

[myglaren]

[gm]

alloy wheel stuck on the hub ? 

not a problem  !

 

got it up to about 30mph, stuck it in neutral and stamped on the brake ! 

not as dramatic as i’d expected but made me laugh   

[Tayne]

2 hours ago, gm said:

alloy wheel stuck on the hub ? 

not a problem  !

 

got it up to about 30mph, stuck it in neutral and stamped on the brake ! 

not as dramatic as i’d expected but made me laugh   

 

That's why you're supposed to leave the last nut half screwed in

[Metal Guru]

7 hours ago, Matty said:

You'd think that wouldn't you. Years of practice and I still couldn't get to them limits!

I’m sure I’ve got close to that going to rugby internationals at Twickenham in the 80s. Start on the train at about 10, then in pub until half an hour before kick off, several cans during the match (they even let you in carrying Watney 7s back then) , back to the pub after the match until catching last train home at midnight. There might even have been a can or two on the train. Minimum twelve, my wallet said about 20!

Couldn't afford it these days at £7 a pint and £100- 150 for a match ticket.

[gm]

1 hour ago, Tayne said:

 

That's why you're supposed to leave the last nut half screwed in

but where’s the fun in that ?  

[Sunny Jim]

More quality* reporting from the Telegraph, the struggle is real.