What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[Wack]

I may have posted this before but something reminded me of it

 

An experience I had with a Toyota main dealer around 1992

 

I rang the parts department

 

How many parts does a 1988 2.0 celica exhaust have

 

Answer , two

Great I've just had the back box done , can you order the front part and arrange fitting

 

A week later it arrives so I take it in sounding like a tank , wait in reception for an hour while they fit it,when it was ready I pay get in it start it up and , it sounds like a tank

 

Eh

What have you done to my car for the last hour

 

manager gets the fitter

I've replaced the front pipe

So why is it still blowing

Because the middle section has a hole in it

 

What middle section , I was told it's in 2 pieces

 

No it's 3 , I've replaced the front pipe

 

So hang on , you've taken the exhaust off and replaced the part that hasn't got a hole in it but put the part that has got a hole in back on.

 

At this point I looked at the manager who had his mouth wide open with a What The Fuck look on his face

 

Why did you do that

 

Because that's what it said on the job card , FFS!

 

They fitted it for free when they got the right part in and gave me trade discount on it so I saved a few quid

[Sheefag]

My home for the last few days. Only a small job but successful and should make walking much nicer !!

 

004.JPG

 

I now have a tap at the bottom of my leg to pee out of, actually quite convenient. but not permanent.

 

How long does it take to fill up?

 

[Pillock]

Decided to book a last minute weekend away.

 

Just got out the hot tub after getting mesmerised by the amount of stars you get when you drive four hours into nowhere.

[Mrcento]

Why not suggest that the rent start very low and ramps up over a couple of years, so you're balancing the risk as you improve the place. Perhaps with a deposit so they know you're serious.

 

I know who the previous occupier of the unit is, had a bit of a brainwave (or brainfart) and wondered if they actually own it (they just moved to a bigger premises down the road), i'm going to message him and see if he owns it (he probably didn't, was probably just a tenant), if so, i think cutting out the middle man and putting a proposal for his old unit to him would be more likely for a deal, particularly as i'd be zero threat to his business with what i have planned for it.

 

EDIT- He isn't. Happy to discuss the building itself with me, though. Shame, would have been good if i could have discussed it straight with the owner rather than an agent "recommending" nonsense.

[Wack]

Proper laugh out loud, speakers on

 

https://m.imgur.com/gallery/6sIlUtL

[loserone]

More importantly, from the comments:

 

https://i.imgur.com/YtWTcAw.gif

[Craig the Princess]

More importantly, from the comments:

 

https://i.imgur.com/YtWTcAw.gif

Look at that XR3i!!!

[Wack]

For those of you with Amazon prime

 

This weeks Grand Tour, about 1/3 of the show is about Jim Clark and his achievements and it's fascinating

[Noel Tidybeard]

At least they acknowledge your house might burn down with a friendly card20190205_183130.jpg

 

that needs sent to Big Clive for autopsy!

[purplebargeken]

Two things.

 

I spotted a couple of years old Range Rover thing with Mike Brewer Car Sales reg plate the other day. I just laughed and thought that it would be the first thing I would bin.

 

Secondly I have discovered that a Puffin chick is called a Puffling. I thought that was just ace.

[Mrcento]

Already had an email back wanting to talk figures and length of potential tenancy "to put to the owner", so not quite sure where to go from there... Tenancy length, 2 ways of looking at it, a longer one = stable income for landlord over x years, but if i'm getting it discounted, they might not want that if they feel they could get more for it in a year...which given my plans to refurb, i'd be at risk of.

 

Money wise... i have no idea, If the owner is only willing to take 5% off, i'd probably come across a bit of a belter if i offered 30% less., likewise if i offered more and he accepted, i'd feel stupid for not offering less, to be honest it's going to be more than i can really afford even with a massive discount, but, y'know, risk v reward... all about just reducing the risk of financial ruin as much as possible for as long as possible!

 

Annoying self quote inbound...

 

After a very brief discussion with the previous tenant and finding out he's not the landlord, i got back in touch with the agent putting a proposal to him to discuss with the owner, i think it's fair and i'm pretty much in the category of it being my one and only offer, it'll probably be a no but it's as far as i can push it at this stage tbh, so if it is a no, it's not for me. But the fact i have any wheels in motion (for now) after years of looking and no joy still makes me grin.

[HillmanImp]

For those of you with Amazon prime

This weeks Grand Tour, about 1/3 of the show is about Jim Clark and his achievements and it's fascinating

Imp Jr accidently put the Grand Tour on the other day when he was trying to put Leo the Truck on or some other shite.

 

As soon as he saw it was about cars he pretended that he'd put it on for me.

 

It was the ones where they were acting like pratts in Columbia and it wasn't too bad.

 

On the contrary I watched an episode of Top Gear from 2014 yesterday afternoon and it was barely watchable it was so terrible.

 

I have watched a few episodes of the Grand Tour if I thought they had something I'd be interested in on them and they've been pretty crap but maybe they've got their shite together with it now, or are the normal studio ones still embarrassing?

[Jazoli]

I find the studio ones less embarrassing than the road trip ones, this week's episode was great.

[twosmoke300]

Basic cars !!!

Now I drive all sorts of cars every day , most fairly modern and with varying degrees of complexity . But I miss the simplicity of one thing the most - A THREE KNOB HEATER !

I picked up the rover 200 from fatsharris last week and it all came flooding back to me . So simple , so tactile , stays on the function you left it at etc .

Why did it ever stray away from this ? The later 306’s had climate control with this set up , that’s all you need surely .?

My c5 took long enough to get used to let alone the touch screen abominations

[GrumpiusMaximus]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-essex-47175357

 

 

 

A psychologist fined for driving through a controversial bus gate has won her appeal after arguing there too many signs for the brain to process...

[Mrcento]

Basic cars !!!

Now I drive all sorts of cars every day , most fairly modern and with varying degrees of complexity . But I miss the simplicity of one thing the most - A THREE KNOB HEATER !

I picked up the rover 200 from fatsharris last week and it all came flooding back to me . So simple , so tactile , stays on the function you left it at etc .

Why did it ever stray away from this ? The later 306’s had climate control with this set up , that’s all you need surely .?

My c5 took long enough to get used to let alone the touch screen abominations

 

It's the fiddly little digital climate controls that bother me, particularly the ones that move in increments of 0.5 degrees c per push of the button or need to hold for an age to get it to move... nobody needs to be that precise with their temperature and they are nearly always located low down. Going from that to a big dial you don't even need to look at is always a joy.

[oldcars]

Vodafone. Some folk slate them but i have always had great service, and the girl i just spoke to was spot on, fixed the issues and text to confirm its done. Cant say fairer than that.

[beko1987]

The 406 has fairly simple digital climate control, but every time I turn it on it defaults to auto with the air con on... Even the laguna stayed where it was set! Is quite annoying

[DodgeRover]

Decided to book a last minute weekend away.

 

Just got out the hot tub after getting mesmerised by the amount of stars you get when you drive four hours into nowhere. arbn-2.jpeg

That caravan is older than the hills! I hope it's been refurbished inside if you are paying money to stay in it!

[Ohdearme]

Finally got planning permission through from the council after a fraught few months!

[DodgeRover]

I had a dream about Wuvvum buying/ collecting that invicar- it was a very wired out of body experience to the scrap yard office.

 

Most strange.

[mrbenn]

Finally got planning permission through from the council after a fraught few months!

 

I can almost sense the hammer in your hand already.

 

Congrats!

[Ohdearme]

I can almost sense the hammer in your hand already.

 

Congrats!

Indeed, I wouldn’t have dreamed of starting anything* ahead of getting consent.

 

I’ve got a lot done today*

 

 

 

 

[Pillock]

That caravan is older than the hills! I hope it's been refurbished inside if you are paying money to stay in it!

Well it's a bit rough inside but we got it cheap.

 

 

Naah, that's a before. It's quite nice now although not as cool as the guy's wooden wagon we stayed in before..

 

 

2000 man hours to restore it after dragging it out of the woods on the family farm.

 

 

The hot tub was also dragged out of the woods

 

[Aston Martin]

The last time I went abroad you still saw Toyota Paseos and Jimmy Saville was still diddlling kids... Which means I need a passport interview.

 

The Hull office don't interview on a weekend, Leeds do and I can have it at 8:15am next Saturday or 3:45pm. I know they're just a formality, but this confirmation email tickled me.

 

So, what you're saying is some people have brought scissors to a passport interview?

 

Does the delay involve getting locked up for 6 months?

 

How do I apply for a job as an interviewer, I bet they see some weird people.

I had the interview, any questions?

 

Yes, on the email. How many people bring scissors?

 

"You'd be surprised, what people bring to an interview"

 

It went ok, she said "the interview questions people have put online. Like "they asked me about my goldfish" is nonsense "

 

Assuming I don't get arrested or rejected, it was fine.

[vulgalour]

Basic cars !!!

Absolutely! The turny dial or slidey knob (stop it) is perfectly acceptable functionality in a vehicle. A three speed fan is adequate. Heated seats are a nonsense. Reversing sensors an extravagance. Touchscreen dashboards a danger...

 

[Garythesnail]

It's the fiddly little digital climate controls that bother me, particularly the ones that move in increments of 0.5 degrees c per push of the button or need to hold for an age to get it to move... nobody needs to be that precise with their temperature and they are nearly always located low down. Going from that to a big dial you don't even need to look at is always a joy.

 

As silly as it seems, this is an annoyance of VAG stuff to me. We've had two - a 3.2 MKI TT sportscar* and a Seet Exeo diesel estate loadcarrier* - both are fine cars in their own way, but the clickety-click, half a degree, randomly un-synchronising, two zone ACC was sufficiently irritating to make me not want another one.

[Wack]

Imp Jr accidently put the Grand Tour on the other day when he was trying to put Leo the Truck on or some other shite.

 

As soon as he saw it was about cars he pretended that he'd put it on for me.

 

It was the ones where they were acting like pratts in Columbia and it wasn't too bad.

 

On the contrary I watched an episode of Top Gear from 2014 yesterday afternoon and it was barely watchable it was so terrible.

 

I have watched a few episodes of the Grand Tour if I thought they had something I'd be interested in on them and they've been pretty crap but maybe they've got their shite together with it now, or are the normal studio ones still embarrassing?

It's much better this series , episode 5 was very good, even the rich mans SUV test was worth watching but the Jim Clark 20 minutes actually got me quite emotional, especially when I recognised him driving round oulton park.

[Cheggers]

I just went for a sit-down wee and produced the longest sustained single-note fart of my 53 year old life.

 

Go me!

[Ohdearme]

...A three speed fan is adequate...

 

I concur, my Galaxy has a four speed fan but I only use three of them. Nothing to do with the fourth speed blowing always a fuse or anything.