What makes you grin? Antidote to grumpy thread

[SiC]

When I worked in b&q about 15 years ago, we got told to always open up the drill boxes when doing returns. Often a house brick was put in to make it feel about the correct weight and shaking it sounded about right too.

 

I guess cheese as it's easy to shape into phone shape and similar sort of mass too.

[LightBulbFun]

reminds me of stories from the various lightbulb shops id hang out in during my younger years

 

people would buy a lightbulb then come back saying "oh sorry wrong type/length" only for it to have actually been the right lightbulb but they put the old dead one in the new ones box...

 

(and iv known collectors to get stung by this, they see a lightbulb on the shelf they like the look of, buy it take it out of the box and see someones swapped it out)

[myglaren]

https://www.facebook.com/tom.patrick.9250/videos/1499375658252/

[Timewaster]

A guy I worked with bought a TV off the back of a van.

 

The TV was an empty case with a few bricks inside and the remote was a piece of wood.

 

Years and years ago, in the 60s my dad bought as shirt from a guy selling out of a suitcase.

 

When he got it out of the pack it was just a collar and 1ft square of material.

 

Seemed like a lot of effort to go to for a con. making half a shirt.

 

Where I worked before we were always being offered carpet from some Irish gentleman who had just finished carpeting some offices.

 

Must have happened more times than the are offices in this town.

 

Quite what the scam was there I never worked out.

[Tamworthbay]

A massive grin for the Thai nurse looking after my Mum at the Royal in Derby, for making sure she had something to eat even though she didn’t want one of the five choices (fussy old beggar), then bringing extra biscuits for my 2 year old niece and for obviously giving a damn.

 

And the NHS, yet again for the care and attention I have seen today makes me proud to be British, the way everyone has looked after her is fantastic, and not just the technical bits you expect but the way she has been spoken to to and cared for. They are bloody amazing. I went up today and she is like a different person from yesterday, the drugs have kicked in obviously and my stress levels have dropped immensely.

 

I love the NHS. If Nye Bevan himself had walked around there today he would be immensely proud of what he started all those years ago.

[Eddie Honda]

Its a poor place to advertise because tourists are killing it.

 

Never mind Bond wrecking the place...

 

[fordperv]

A massive grin for the Thai nurse looking after my Mum at the Royal in Derby, for making sure she had something to eat even though she didn’t want one of the five choices (fussy old beggar), then bringing extra biscuits for my 2 year old niece and for obviously giving a damn.

 

And the NHS, yet again for the care and attention I have seen today makes me proud to be British, the way everyone has looked after her is fantastic, and not just the technical bits you expect but the way she has been spoken to to and cared for. They are bloody amazing. I went up today and she is like a different person from yesterday, the drugs have kicked in obviously and my stress levels have dropped immensely.

 

I love the NHS. If Nye Bevan himself had walked around there today he would be immensely proud of what he started all those years ago.

This is what the country needs to hear, most people are only bothered about telling the not so good experiences and don't tell good experiences that show the compassion, respect and empathy that the majority of the staff have for people even though they are understaffed underpaid and over stressed, I work in care and I smile like a Cheshire Cat when my manager comes and finds me to pass compliments and feedback that relatives have given to her about my work it makes the shit days where I'm doing 3 peoples jobs fade to grey

 

It's great to read that your mum is doing good

[Tamworthbay]

This is what the country needs to hear, most people are only bothered about telling the not so good experiences and don't tell good experiences that show the compassion, respect and empathy that the majority of the staff have for people even though they are understaffed underpaid and over stressed, I work in care and I smile like a Cheshire Cat when my manager comes and finds me to pass compliments and feedback that relatives have given to her about my work it makes the shit days where I'm doing 3 peoples jobs fade to grey

It's great to read that your mum is doing good

It really bugs me how fast people are to complain and then ignore good service. We made sure to thank the nurses before we left and I will email the hospital once she is home. The number of people who make genuine difference to people’s lives and never get recognition bugs me. If I was in charge of the honours system there wouldn’t be any footballers or actors getting awards for doing well off something they enjoy, it would be people like the ones we have come across today.

[Noel Tidybeard]

The moment you realise you can just ignore some people

 

Priceless

 

 

who said that?!? :mrgreen:

[richardmorris]

You'll have noticed it's cold at the minute.

My old gloves have rather fallen apart and despite being mended many a time (including the time I lost one and then found it three days later, utterly sodden in the gutter outside the station), they are not providing adequate insulation.

Tonight, MrsDC presented me with these wonderful things that she's been furtively working on:

20190201_220725.jpg

20190201_220744.jpg

Yes, it's my own pair of custom-knit Autoshite mitts.

To say I am pleased is a massive understatement. It was a total surprise.

20190201_221149.jpg

20190201_221216.jpg

Apparently, it's a reward for "not being a complete arsehole." This is a new one on me, but I'll take any praise I can muster.

I also asked what might happen if other shiters took a shine to these unique creations, and requested replicas.

The answer came back, "well, they can certainly ask, but I will tell them to fuck away off up their own holes."

Knitters, eh? So fluffy and genteel.

But this is why we rub along pretty well...

 

 

At the risk of offending the killer knitter, is there a reason they’re pointy and not rounded?

[Guest Hooli]

This as spotted on a webcam earlier.

 

[Datsuncog]

At the risk of offending the killer knitter, is there a reason they’re pointy and not rounded?

Yes there is - and I've just spent the guts of an hour tapping out a detailed explanation (with many photographs) to fully explain the differences between traditionally shaped Norwegian colourwork mitts (which these are) against rounded mitts, square mitts, slot thumbs and gussett thumbs, but my phone just ate it all and now I'm going to to to bed.

 

I can't imagine anyone is really all that interested, to be honest, but it's to do with having a flat front and back to work the repeats evenly and not having to deal with shaping as well, which can make the yarn contrast pattern look wrong.

 

Here's a rounded mitt with cabling done in stocking stitch, along with square mitts that've had the corners extended to make ears:

 

 

The advantage of Norwegian mitts like these is they have a double-thickness of yarn all over, as the different colours are stretched behind each other all along the back, giving a much warmer mitt than the single-thickness rounded mitts in the picture below:

 

 

Total time taken - probably about 30 hours, including making up the pattern, swatching for gauge and tension, knitting up, and blocking to make flat.

 

At even a rate of £15 an hour as a skilled crafter, plus about £15 for the yarn itself (hand dyed, small batch Galway mountain fleece, which should start to felt quite nicely over time - no Poundland acrylic yarn has crossed this threshold for some years) then these would be some pricey mitts if they were to be sold at retail price...

 

This is why her knitting is bestowed seldom and received with grace and wonderment.

 

She also made a pair for herself, which seems appropriate at the minute...

 

[dozeydustman]

Yes there is - and I've just spent the guts of an hour tapping out a detailed explanation (with many photographs) to fully explain the differences between traditionally shaped Norwegian colourwork mitts (which these are) against rounded mitts, square mitts, slot thumbs and gussett thumbs, but my phone just ate it all and now I'm going to to to bed.

 

I can't imagine anyone is really all that interested, to be honest, but it's to do with having a flat front and back to work the repeats evenly and not having to deal with shaping as well, which can make the yarn contrast pattern look wrong.

 

Here's a rounded mitt with cabling done in stocking stitch, along with square mitts that've had the corners extended to make ears:

 

20190202_211848.jpg

 

The advantage of Norwegian mitts like these is they have a double-thickness of yarn all over, as the different colours are stretched behind each other all along the back, giving a much warmer mitt than the single-thickness rounded mitts in the picture below:

 

20190202_211824.jpg

 

Total time taken - probably about 30 hours, including making up the pattern, swatching for gauge and tension, knitting up, and blocking to make flat.

 

At even a rate of £15 an hour as a skilled crafter, plus about £15 for the yarn itself (hand dyed, small batch Galway mountain fleece, which should start to felt quite nicely over time - no Poundland acrylic yarn has crossed this threshold for some years) then these would be some pricey mitts if they were to be sold at retail price...

 

This is why her knitting is bestowed seldom and received with grace and wonderment.

 

She also made a pair for herself, which seems appropriate at the minute...

 

20190202_211911.jpg

 

I will gladly pay as much as £10 and a complimentary 2019 adventshite calendar for Mrs Datsun to kntt me a pair of size 16 Autoshite socks. 

[Wack]

[cobblers]

I went up Kinder scout yesterday, and the view was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. I'm not one to get emotional about this kind of thing but I was absolutely blown away by it, I was just stood there for about half an hour taking it all in. The view combined with the silence of it all (there was no wind at all and the snow did it's usual trick of absorbing any noise) made it an experience I don't think I'll ever forget.

 

Today I'm aching like I've been through a mangle but it's 100% worth it.

[Sheefag]

https://designyoutrust.com/2018/12/belarusian-designer-transforms-old-soviet-budget-zaporozhets-car-into-porsche-boxter/

 

 

 

 

[fordperv]

Hats off to the builder for making a boxster look that good

[dozeydustman]

What car is that Sheefag?

[Sheefag]

In essence, it's a heavily modified ZAZ Zaporozhets 968 body, nailed over the top of a Porsche Boxter.

 

[Frogchod]

The simple task of leaving the fucking thing alone seems to have fixed it.

I've not run it to full temperature yet.

When I do the results will probably be in the grumpy thread...

[Tayne]

A friend told me today that he had a new email address, he’s now using Proton Mail.

 

Which one of you is going to get [email protected] ?

[brandersnatch]

Found on twitter.

[Skizzer]

Found on twitter. 4CD5019A-AD69-46FC-A73E-337DFB6179BD.jpeg

Love it. “When Doris Day needs road rolling equipment, you can bet she’s going to turn to...International Harvester.”

 

Advertising has definitely lost something in the last 70 years. Well, mostly the last fifteen.

[MikeR]

oh my eyes ,, the dogs dropped its guts ,,,,,

 

meanwhile ...  in the small print

 

https://www.amazon.co.uk/d/Dog-Food/Burgess-Greyhound-Lurcher-British-Chicken/B003TLA480/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1549220998&sr=8-1&keywords=greyhound+food

 

 

 

This product is subject to specific safety warnings

• Warning: Not suitable for children under 36 months

[M'coli]

IMG_1369.JPG

Some picture about snowy Newcastle nightlife

Schools aren't licensed to sell alcohol when it's snowy...

[Fumbler]

Brother has now put listings for Camry everywhere. Because one site is linked to Facebook he got a Facebook like reply basically saying "can u take 1 grand cash m8?".

 

 

He isn't going to reply. Good on him!

[Ghosty]

You know the picture going round of the Megane convertible with a Merc grille grafted on?

I BLOODY SPOTTED IT, near my mates house in Cheetham Hill, the areshole of Manchester (don't worry he's moving soon). 

 

 

Truly a sight to behold.

[New POD]

A friend told me today that he had a new email address, he’s now using Proton Mail.

 

Which one of you is going to get [email protected] ?

Your idea. You can have that privillage***

[New POD]

Currently about to have a shit at Stafford m6 southbound. Even if I didn't have a shit I would be late for work. Fucking road works etc

[wuvvum]

The simple task of leaving the fucking thing alone seems to have fixed it.

b2.jpg

I've not run it to full temperature yet.

When I do the results will probably be in the grumpy thread...

Ooh, a self-fixing Buick.  Wish I had one of those.