M'coli

Or, we could just keep them to the Open Forums section - that's what it's for, or so I was led to believe.

Today I've been down to Kent, I had a lady get in touch about moving a old Lancia from a lockup there up to a restorer in Nottingham - initial thought was it would be a old HPE or somesuch but it turned out to be a 2000 Berlina which her father had owned for yonks, she had passed her test in it and it had been parked up since 1987. The father met me at the lockup, a 85 year old legend who told me the Lancia was just the job for the 100mph cruises across France he used to do! Obviously it is pretty crusty but the daughter seems to know what she might be in for so fingers crossed it'll get 'the works'. I didn't know these had a flat four. 
 
 

I'm a contractor, at a firm who used to have me full-time.
 
Had a Skype.. .. interview today... YaY! they've found a fiver down the corporate sofa, and I'm back PAYE from March1st.
 
25days Hols again...
 
 
TS

I now *have* a 940 td. decent spec too with aircon, cruise, leather, sunroof etc, pics available if anyone cares.

Justhad text notification that i can see heart quack on monday as someone has cancelled.
So hopefully i may get go ahead to drive again.
Suspect i might be heading for another op tho,.

At least you can still get a jack underneath it...

Don't like Top Gear?  Then watch "Call The Midwife": decent enough stories, quite a lot of attractive young women in fantastic 1950s clothes, and the occasional bit of 50s Autoshite too.  What's not to like?

Just about to set off to meet my dad for the first time of ever.

Don't like Top Gear?  Then watch "Call The Midwife": decent enough stories, quite a lot of attractive young women in fantastic 1950s clothes, and the occasional bit of 50s Autoshite too.  What's not to like?

Don't like Top Gear?  Then watch "Call The Midwife": decent enough stories, quite a lot of attractive young women in fantastic 1950s clothes, and the occasional bit of 50s Autoshite too.  What's not to like?

Don't like Top Gear?  Then watch "Call The Midwife": decent enough stories, quite a lot of attractive young women in fantastic 1950s clothes, and the occasional bit of 50s Autoshite too.  What's not to like?

I've just turned the boost up to "full" on the Storia. It makes lots of nice noises, goes quite well and makes me grin lots.

What a great collection thread/post. I don't think you would have been lynched in the smoke for being Scottish, but it's true that Scottish money won't get you very far down here. That's something that Scots sometimes get really shirty about. I've sometimes wondered whether English money is similarly unwelcome north of the border?
 
Anyway, kudos for getting it all the way home when most would have failed.

Foreword..
 
I'll adjust accordingly to suit this place, was all a bit polite as it was a club posting and the car was bought from a "fellow" club member..... What I didn't say at the time was I had another blue X1/9 at the time, which was all legal. This one had been lying in a dusty garage for 7 years. I put the plates, chassis plate  and paperwork for my other blue one in a rucksack, and cloned this one on the kerb..
 
 
 
Aye, and I still never got the bastard wheels that were advertised with the car, and were on it when the photo's were taken. cunt.
 
Chapter 1.
 
Arranged with Jim to collect his X1/9 VS on Saturday,so I booked a train ticket to go down to London to collect it and drive it home.He was a bit apprehensive (didn't give a fuck) as the car hadn't really been on the road for a few years,but I thought I'd take the chance and bring it home under its own steam. ( it would have been nice if he'd at least washed all the shite off the windscreen, never mind check the water and oil...) I left Markinch train station at 8am,armed with a bag full of car and bike magazines to read during my journey.Upon arrival in Edinburgh,I was told that the East Coast line was closed due to engineering works,and I would have to go via Carslile...anyway,got into London at 5pm,and after a couple of runs on the tube and getting totally feckin lost, and being unable to phone the owner as he is deaf,finally got to the station where he  lives.Came up the stairs from the underground and thee right in front of me was the big daft dome thing- knowing that would have made my life a whole lot feckin easier.....He collected me after about a feckin hour in his Integrale Evo,and enjoyed a white knuckle (was scared shitless- a deaf driver, LHD and 200+ BHP, just what I needed with a headache and a bladder full of British Rail coffee..) ride through London,If you ever live in London,get one of these!!! Sprinting between the lights with the turbo chirping away was worth the train trip itself!! (being polite, twat)

Anyway,got all sorted out ,and I got to drive a blue 1300 for a wee bit,its a lovely wee thing (true),then had a look over a green 1300.It was just how I remember them  I doubt there are many left in such original condition anywhere.(true) It was now nearing 7pm,so I thought it best to make a start on the long journey North..so we waved our goodbyes,(through gritted teeth on my part)and I put my trust in Holly,the sat-nav bitch to get me out of the city.
 
 
*added*
10 minutes up the road,in half a mile of traffic in the Blackwall tunnel,the temp gauge shot off the scale..and sounds like a kettle boiling coming from behind me. I'd heard about the Blackwall tunnel from Sally Traffic ...and knew if I did'nt make it out under my own "steam" I'd be on the news, and probably busted for false plates and various other things..I had to keep moving though,with people tooting and flashing at the sauna behind the car. once I got out of the tunnel,I pulled in to a side street and popped the engine cover,and gently released the geyser using my jacket to stop me getting scalded...empty. I had 2 litres of water,so I poured that in and got another 2 miles down the road in to some housing scheme. I was just about in tears- 450 miles from home in a car which had been very misdescribed, a deaf owner who I couldn't phone and rant to and worst of all and more pressing- there was a crowd gathering and looking around, it looked like I'd driven all the way to a dodgy area in the Bronx rather than our capital city..I knew if I spoke, I'd be deed, having a bit of a Scottish accent... 
 
The car finally started again and sounded pretty rough, so I needed to find a petrol station so I could get water in and bleed it, put some oil in and give it a bit of a look over, I daren't switch off in case it'd neve go again so I limped to a Shell station. GREAT, and many THANK FUCKS were said to myself, so I filled up with the good Shell stuff, and looked over at the station itself. Big grilles over the windows and as it was after 10pm, a few hoodies loitering about. I joined the queue to pay and looked at the oil and stuff through the slots. At the head of the queue, I asked for a couple of litres of 15/40, 20 fags, some coke (what, no Irn Bru??!!)  and probably a few more things, and the lot came to near on 90 quid. I'd taken an extra few hundred with me for bits and bobs, so opened my wallet and dumped 5 20's in the wee tray- in full view of all the neds behind me. WE DONT TAKE SCOOOTISH MUNY, came the voice through the grille. AAARRRGGGHHH. came my reply, when one of the helpful neds behind me said there was a cash machine down what was a very dodgy looking side street..... we'll show you... I'm dead, thinks I..
 
I did manage to get there and back alive, after making a few refrences to Trainspotting and Taggart, and trying to sound a little bit mental and Begbieish .. the car was still in 1 piece when I did

The car started better but was really lacking power and everytime I accelerated,I was getting a backfire,and no real increase in power,so I stopped in at a services after 20 miles or so ,and bought some more supplies for the journey,and adjusted the timing a bit. Took the roof off,and set out on to the motorway.All was great for about 40 miles,car was driving beautifully,there were great tunes on the radio and the heater was pumping out hot air.The roads were empty and I was really enjoying myself!

Just when I'd totally relaxed and got into the mood for charging up the road there was suddenly a very loud and expensive sounding noise came from behind, in the mirror was a shower of sparks ,the car cut out and I coasted into the hard shoulder...I jumped out expecting to find oil and conrods all over the carrigeway....
 
After a bit of investigation using my test lamp for light,I saw that the distributor had feckin siezed,so the whole lot had been turning,ripping off the HT leads,breaking the hold down clips,pulling out and snapping the LT wires and smashing the dizzy cap..the rotor arm had also gone AWOL. Damn and blast....or words to that effect were probably heard up in Scotland....

I had brought a few spares,so I checked to see what I had,the dizzy cap I had was different...the rotor arm fitted though,and the points were the same,so I removed the plate out the dizzy and straightened it on the crash barrier and removed the small broken piece of metal that had caused all the carnage in the first place. I'd like to show you a picture of it,but its still lying on the M11 somewhere,chucked over the carrigeway in a rage...

Now I had the dizzy internals all together and back in,and a bit of wire fixed in from the coil to the |dizzy nicked of the daft non working alarm ,there was the problem with the cap. Half of it was missing and there was no way of fixing it to the dizzy body. I gave myself a wee telling off for not bringing cable ties... never go anywhere in a shitter without cable ties..I sat on the crash barrier and smoked a few fags,contemplating what to do next.Do I finally join a breakdown service..
 
Not without a fight!!! I had a brainwave of using my bootlace to tie the cap on ,even just to get me to the next services.After a few failed attempts I finally got it to stay in place,and tentativly turned the key..It fired up straight away,and idled perfectly...I'm sure I even saw it smiling.. bastard thing..

Back out on to the motorway and all seemed well,timing was a bit out,but if anything,it was even better than before..I had a few thoughts about the sparks flying about in what was left of the dizzy cap being next to the fuel pump,but quickly tried to think about something else..
 
*adjustment*
I wasn't really giving a fuck anymore- I was like a wounded submarine heading for port, just like in Das Boot- full throttle and point North, the nearer I got, the less I'd have to walk..
Quite a few miles up the road,I pulled in to the services and gently moved the distributor and set off again.The car was running perfectly,plenty of power and no funny noises,so I settled into a 90mph  (+) cruise up the M1 and life was great again! By this time it was about 5am, and tiredness was setting in,and it was beginning to get foggy,so I decided to forego the A68-one of my favorite roads into Scotland-and head over to Carslile and up the M74.On the slower roads I noticed that the idle had risen up to 3500RPM,but I left it for now,but did have a moment driving through one of the small border towns,and there was a traffic car sitting there..Trying to keep a CSC exhaust quiet and keep to 30 with the idle at 3500 without showing brake lights took all of my coordination skills so as not to get pulled!
 
Over into Scotland and I pulled into the services for a BIG coffee and to adjust the fast idle,which had been sticking on,and back on the road-roof on now as it was POURING down! A bit upthe road the Bastard alternator light came on,not just a dim glow,but full on....noooooooooo. I pushed on switching off anything I could do without,and made it to the next services.I then noticed that at idle and slow speed the light would go out.So this is how the rest of the trip went,charging up the motorway for a while,then stopping and ticking over for a while,letting the battery get some food.Every now and again,the alternator belt let out a huge squeal and a groan and the light went off,this at least kept me awake!!

We finally got back to Glenrothes at ten past eight this morning. 24 feckin hours after I left, with no sleep...me absoluteley shattered and filthy,and the X on 3 cylinders making some horrible noises,but we were home...like 2 battle weary soildiers back from the front line after a tour of duty. I went straight to bed,and slept like a log until 4pm,and the car is sitting outside in the rain,waiting on some TLC to get it back into rude health!!

A big thanks to Jim for picking me up and letting me see his 1300's and hopefully I was right about your non working horn!
 
*adjustment*
Ya bastard. I'l maybe repay the favour one day, It took me a whole year to get this car sorted out properly. and I want my fuckin wheels.
 
I do not buy cars off "friends" anymore. Don't. Just don't.
 
Makeshift bootlace repair
 

A mini-update on the Dedra.
 
It's now residing at a place called the Alfa Shed, where it's had a bit of attention to fix the electrics, which were unhappy at encountering sunlight and had the wipers and electric windows waving around at random. It still needs some more love: the cooling system pressurises immediately on starting up, which bodes ill for the head gasket, and the water pump sprays water up into the air like a lawn sprinkler. This is not going to be up and running any time soon; it will fit in between other jobs and Mike, Mr Alfa Shed, is not a man to be rushed. Maybe June. Could be July.
 
Mike is a bit of a star, though, and spent a couple of hours showing me round. Shed is a bit of a misnomer - it's mostly garden really, though the workshop bit is home to an Aston DB6, a Maserati 222E in two tone blue and cream, a 1972 Lotus Seven and whatever is being worked on at the moment. Sharing garden space with a variety of Maserati 3200 and 4200GTs, Alfa Spiders, GTVs and 156s were a couple of Porsche 914s (daily driver and spares car), a customer's Alfa 75 and a really tidy 1974-ish Kamm tailed Spider from California. This last comes complete with a brilliantly Heath Robinson mechanical fuel injection contraption with a tube of wax that softens with heat to control the mixture from cold start to normal running. Oh, and a fold-up caravan that he tows behind the 914 for going to shows in the summer.
 
Oh, and they'd just finished filming Wheeler Dealers there - he was rebuilding some complicated bits of a Maserati 3200GT, being about the only bloke who can. He's a former aerospace engineer: anyone who tells you that fixing Italian ABS systems isn't rocket science is, it turns out, sadly mistaken.

My mate's just replaced his metallic gold 1986 Micra with a 185k-mile beige 1986 Peugeot 205GRD.

No: if it's very economical, can fit a bike in the bike and isn't a VW then it's (probably) good with me.

Um. Might have accidentally offered to buy an 850i. Which is a very silly thing to do.

Tis the new way of working I'm afraid. This is my actual job. We get all of the referrals for mental health and conduct a telephone triage. This is then given some thought by a highly experienced mental health professional, oh that would be me. The triage process including the writing up can take between 40 minutes to a couple of hours depending on being able to contact the person, phoning GP's to get the correct contact numbers, check blood test results and asking for medical summaries, getting past the old bat of a receptionist at the GP surgery despite THEM sending us the referral. Mind you some of the receptionists do sound rather cute and can be quite chatty on the phone. If you can't get hold of the person who has been urgently referred due to suicidal ideation you have to make a judgement call as to getting the plod to do a welfare check. 
 
Then the person is passed on to whichever service is deemed appropriate. If done properly it is pretty effective despite not having that face to face element. It normally tales between 20 to 30 minutes to actually do a telephone triage but there is pressure to trim that down to 10 minutes but we aren't standing for that. The timescales are much better than the one offered to you. We triage urgent referrals within 4 hours, if priority within 24 hours and routine within 14 days. Appts with the teams for further face to face assessment/treatment are either next day, within a week or within 28 days depending on risk/urgency. If very, very urgent the referral is passed on to the crisis team and sorted within 4 to 6 hours on average. Then the other hassle is having to almost justify why you have the temerity to refer someone to the team. I mean isn't that kind of why the teams actually exist. I have been spoken to by my supposed colleagues in such a rude, aggressive and condescending manner that I have come off the phone literally furious. God help the poor patients. Christ, we aren't even allowed to send people to A&E if they feel unsafe or at risk 'cos going to A&E is only for people with a physical health problem. So A&E is no longer available as a place of safety. Fabulous.
 
A couple of days ago we received 250 referrals in one day, average is about 220 or so.  
 
I'm pretty good at what I do, I've been a mental health nurse for 29 years and an AMHP for nearly 3 years and I don't piss about with people. The hardest one's are the elders. It is so sad to talk to people who have worked so hard throughout their lives and are now stepping onto the dementia treadmill. One of the cruelest con's is for memory clinics to diagnose someone with 'mild cognitive disorder' the discharge them and to see them re-referred a year or 18 months later when things have deteriorated much further. MCD is just placing someone in a 'holding pattern' IMHO. 
 
So there you go. Always two sides to everything. I don't think I'm a twat, although I could be wrong

^ this in the rwd escort, mini and landrover world is known as a "reshell"
 
Got to go think someone's at the door, I can hear ringing

Dugong ,regarding your GS,wasn't there an escapee from the French scrapage scheme on the ebay thread ?
One that can't be registered and has no docs.
Not that I'm suggesting anything dodgy or owt but.....
 
Couldn't hurt to let the seller know about yours.

This is TA SEX. It's less than 3500 quids as well.
 

http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/JAGUAR-1962-MK10-3-8-SIMILAR-TO-420-OR-420G-/221364134378?pt=Automobiles_UK&hash=item338a54a1ea

I met them today actually, they're all quite nobbable.

Is this the place?
 
It has a Faceache page...
https://www.facebook.com/Theivoryurmston