Autoshite dreams?

[warren t claim]

Here's one from a few days ago.

 

I was dreaming that I was buying a silver XJ6 from a dealer on Ebay. It was a 3.2 manual and although equipped with rear parking sensors it had a nasty dent on the rear offside wing. Apparently it was ex forces and the dealer was going to fit a new armrest for me because the one on it had several switches for lights and sirens.

[Laseraligningfoofooflanges]

I had an odd one last night.. I was running about like a blue arsed fly trying to gather up four 4 stud spacesavers in the right PCD for the rover 800

I was doing this in the dream so i could keep the flakey 15'' alloys upon sale :s

 

This place is mullering my head

[matty879]

i forget my dreams within 1 min of waking up usually,and want to go to sleep to try to pick it back up but always remember nightmarish torment or mk1 astras or kadett sr,i need one.

[RoadworkUK]

Ok, so last night I dreamt that my wife and I, along with a group of girls made up of my old schoolfriends and her mates, were going to fit a big display screen to the back of our yellow Leyland Titan (it may have been an Olympian) on which we were to display sex quizzes. The questions would be multiple choice and motorists would answer by flashing their headlights.

 

I remember most of one question: "Which of these should you do before adopting the reverse cowgirl position?"

1) Brush your teeth?

2) Attach your bicycle clips

I can't remember what 3 was.

 

Then, in that way that dreams go, I had parked the bus up at school and gone to the changing room to get ready for a footie tournament. We were all halfway through putting our boots on when the PE teacher told us to stop because Dunlop were sponsoring the tournament with new boots all round.

 

We then all found ourselves playing football with wellies on.

[NorfolkNWeigh]

Just remembered one from last week.

I was driving a Mark 3 Zephyr 6, well I presume it was a Zephyr not a Zodiac because it had a green bench seat and column change. Anyway the brakes were shit and I couldn't slow down enough to turn into some flats to drop off my Father-in-law's brother, and he was whingeing like fuck because he had to walk back up the road.

 

Interesting* facts;

1. my father-in-law does not have a brother.

2. The flats don't exist, but I know exactly where they were, just before a humpback bridge near me.

3. When I was 3 a drunk friend of my mum, accidentally burnt my arm with a cigarette whilst about 8 people were being ferried back from a party in a green Mark3 Zodiac- that had separate front seats because I was standing between them, but it had the same magnetic National Petrol mpg calculator stuck on the dash. I still have the fag burn scar.

 

 

Do I need therapy?

[Asimo]

^^  No, you need a Mk 3 Zephyr with bench seat.

 

Long involved dream last night about Renault 20 and 30 wheels: 3 stud 20 TL, 4 stud 20 TS, 4 stud 30TX.

The crux of the dream was that 30 wheels have a different pcd to 20 4 stud.

(Do they though? I once weasled out of buying a 30 for parts "because the wheels wouldn't fit my 20" but that was an excuse I made up to avoid telling the seller his car was too far gone to be useful to me.)

[warren t claim]

Just woke up after dreaming that the dog who was the father of my first alsation was also regional sales manager for Land Rover back in the early 90s. He joked that only suckers paid good money for them and he even made a profit selling them for £15000 to the police.

[M'coli]

Last night I dreamt I was driving either a mk2 Cav or a Montego saloon, somewhere in Derbyshire; whilst going down a hill in a town, I was passed going the other way by a Renault 12-shape Dacia Denem. I tried to get a photo of it on my old Nokia 6230i so that I could post it up here in my spotting thread, but wasn't quick enough...

[DavidB]

Dreamt last night I had my car (a Lamborghini looking thing) parked up outside a shop. For some reason it was missing the front bumper and lights.

A girl was giggling to herself and I asked and she said 'I don't think I should say' and then she said 'without the front end it looks like Clint Eastwood'.

An image of Clint Eastwood appeared in mid air (like it does in films and telly) and I said 'I suppose it does'

It didn't look anything like him.

[rml2345]

I had a dream last night that someone was still running Seddon Pennine VIIs locally and I was on the last trip before final withdrawl.

Fuck only knows what my subconscious is trying to tell me.

[warren t claim]

Last night I was dreaming about trying to drive a Vectra C automatic with a fucked transmission, it was so bad it wouldn't drive over a small speed hump without a run up.

[Station]

Had a dream last night I had a huge workshop at the back of my garage. Never new this way here, was so chuffed to find it. It was full of engineering equipment, including a strange mechanical device that was controlled by a lever. It was roof mounted like one of those rafter cranes. I was moving the handle and it was doing all manner of random movements. I then realised the handle was a sheet metal shear, and nearly sliced my hand off. There were toilets in the back. There was random graffiti from the 80's on them. The toilets were full of sandstone dust from the walls. I though this workshop was awesome, but then reminded myself it is obviously a dream.

I heard a bang outside. I went to investigate and there there were a group of students kicking the metal shutters. I said 'hey knock that off'. One lad said 'well at least I don't have breasts'. I looked down and realise I had big man boobs with pointy nipples. I said 'right that's it' and my punches glanced off this lads face. I then got him in a choke hold on the floor and held him squirming for about five minutes. His student friends sat around talking and I felt a bit stupid so I said 'ok that's enough' and we stood up and I patted him on the back.

I then went to a garden centre. I was wheeling about on a trolley, when an attractive black woman passed me. I small talked her with double entendres (unfortunately I can't remember them otherwise I'd use them in future), and she said 'wow, you're such a babe' to me. I then woke myself up because I knew I was dreaming!

 

Bollocks to my stupid auto-terminate dream recognition brain!

[purplebargeken]

Dreamt I had to attend a big meeting in London the other night. I went and saw that my former mate from St. Helens was there, the one that was a former printer but went Merseyside copper and turned into a knob. Anyway, the meeting ended and for some reason I had to go to another meeting with former mate. We got a taxi driven by this Iranian guy and he decided to show us where the atual place was. This meant walking over some waste ground which was really bumpy and lumpy. The taxi driver stumbled and fell onto a huge screwdriver he was carrying. This went straight through him and he just lay on the ground bleeding. I shouted for the other bloke to call an ambulance which he did. I remember slapping the taxi driver to keep him awake in order for him to not die.

 

The ambulance arrived and I had a huge argument with the female paramedic who was a right arrogant bitch, they put the taxi driver on a stretcher and I then had to go and have a pee. I came back a minute later and found the stretcher empty. I shouted to the paramedic that he'd disappeared and she pointed down the road. There was the taxi driver walking away. I was a bit pissed off that they let him wonder off as a few minutes ago the bloke was nearly dead. I got him back on the stretcher and shouted to the paramedic to get him in the ambulance. She said that as he'd walked away he obviously wasn't that injured. I shouted about having a big fucking screwdriver sticking all the way through you were pretty much fucking injured by my definition. They drove off.

 

I then phoned the fire brigade. They turned up and shoved the bloke on board. There was no room for me so I jumped up onto the outside of the tender and clung to the fittings whilst they blue'd and two'd the way to Barnet General Hospital. I woke up just before we got there. 

[quicksilver]

Nowhere near as exciting as the nocturnal adventures of PBK, but I've just woken up from a dream that I created a complex pivoting A-frame that worked on Reliant Robins. My test car was an immaculate beige 1970s Robin and all was going well until it hit a wall and fell over. There was also a blue Mk1 Golf with massive wheels that looked like an off-roader (it might have been my towcar, I can't remember) but happily no mention of 'Robin Reliant' anywhere.

 

ETA: just remembered a bit more. At one point the Golf was on a railway flat wagon on a train that was running on one of those toy train sets with plastic track formed into chicanes and crossovers. The train was going around a figure-of-eight section and it was convinced it was going to run into itself and destroy the Golf but my friend Gina assured me it wouldn't and she was right.

[anonymous user]

Last night's dreams contained some absolute corkers. One was where I had bought myself a flat bed car transporter. I had convinced myself that I was probably OK to drive it without an HGV licence as long as I didn't use the tacho, I remember impressing myself with how well I was reversing it up a narrow lane on the mirrors (so at that point realised I was dreaming) In the next dream I was with my brother and we were looking to clear out the old family garage. For some reason rather than repair the old slate roof a new portal framed building had been constructed enclosing the old building. Buried in the detritus in tarpaulins were various rotten cars from my childhood, which hadn't been scrapped after all, plus others that I never knew we had. I was trying to convince my brother that a really rotten mini pickup would sell on eBay and that he should let me have what was left of my father's Austin 7 special if he was having the XK140. For some reason I was trying to look at some of the stuff by crawling over the old slate roof to look through the holes, as part of the roof collapsed and I was falling I woke up again. The remaining dreams were not vehicle related, unfortunately they were ones where I was back in work

[Station]

Had a dream the other night I was in one of the houses out of Fallout 4 and had this massive cigar. I've always wanted to smoke one but never have, the proper Cuban ones, they look amazing and people on the telly look like they're really enjoying them, but they're probably hideous.

Jon 'Dugong' was there and we were sat at a battered garden table and he bet me I wouldn't smoke it all or he would have to smoke it.

I then woke up and drove to work.

And then I actually woke up and drove to work but realised it was Saturday.

But then I really did wake up and it was Monday and I went to work! Frigging weird, never had a dream within a dream within a dream before.

[CreepingJesus]

I keep having a recurring dream about fitting Cummins 6BTs into things. In the dreams, I've got enough workshop and space to do it, and among the victims are a Rolls Camargue, Dodge Viper, LDV and a GP beach buggy, with most of the engine hanging out the back. Out the back of the workshop is a field of dead Leyland Roadrunners, and I'm quite proud of the whole thing. The vibe is somewhere between Guy Martin and Mr Trebus.

[Station]

I was sat in the middle of extremely heavy traffic on the motorway with my entire family - I was towing a missile, and decided to fire it. I launched it off, it shot up about two foot with a bang, and just landed in the floor. I told everybody to take cover, and leapt behind the Armco, which was about four foot from the missile.

i was then in a jet fighter and the wings had clear plastic bottles filled with diluted orange cordial. My mum told me the idea was to drop them and then shoot them just before they hit the floor and they would explode.i did this near some soldiers and shot a bottle but it just landed on the floor, leaking orange everywhere.

[Station]

Also dozed off watching the telly, like the auld scrote that I am.

 

Proceeded to have a dream where I had been commissioned to write a song that was designed to be played in a Jaguar XJ40 (?) stereo.

I was sat in the car actually writing it, I was sat there with my PC and my little midi keyboard. It honestly sounded beautiful, I remember thinking how awesome it sounded. I woke up and Nat King Cole was playing on the clock radio and had gone into my dream.

 

I fell asleep again - I was in a place where I used to work looking for a place 'to skive'. Two work mates I recently worked with were nearly about to have a shag in one of the rooms. An old old schoolmate was in the boiler room, he had made an escape tunnel, but the boiler was shooting flames across it so you couldn't crawl through. I was asking him questions about his sister Andrea and his dad, I once got a lift in the back of his dads van about 30 odd years ago which I could never even remember in real life, but somehow my subconscious mind remembered it in my dream.

I was then in my Astra GSi driving along a port with my ex girlfriend I keep having millions of dreams about. We came to a gate at the port entrance, and it was 5.55pm but they were closing the gate as they closed at 6pm (annoyingly the same thing happened at 5.55 at ECP, they were leaving the shop at that time). My ex worked at the port (?) and the woman closing the gate was allegedly a bitch. My ex had a go at her, calling 'Deeta', and she didn't like my ex because she was Jewish. She was saying 'just open the gate, Deeta', but this Deeta wouldn't. My ex then said let's do this tomorrow properly (we were going out) as we weren't getting through, gave me a hug, and then I woke myself up. Flipping godamn Deeta, no wonder nobody likes you.

 

I searched for the name 'Deeta' online and it is another name for the mythical goddess 'Lakhshmi', which was also my ex's name. The crazy and mysterious underlying world of dreams.

 

Sorry for non autoshite dream, I like reading about these months later and to induce lucid dreaming lol

[quicksilver]

I hadn't had a shite dream for a while but last night's was a cracker. The Autoshite collective had bought an old multi-storey car park to use as a central workshop and storage facility and we were in the process of moving cars in. There was a stream of transporters bringing in assorted stuff including a Fiat Regata and a couple of Peugeot 305s. Best of all was a unique LHD US-spec Montego estate still on American plates that was the pride of the fleet and everyone was queuing up to drive it up and down the ramps of the car park.

 

It concerns me how often a Montego features in my nocturnal adventures. Maybe they're trying to tell me something?

[alcyonecorporation]

I was escaping from three Soviet T80 tanks. In black and white. Up a hill made of photocopied text. 

Then, just as they were going to fire, each tank was crushed in turn by the Cyrillic characters for peace (i.e. 'мир', one letter per tank) which fell from the sky as the Casio keyboard demo song played. 

I had another utterly bizarre dream where WTC came into work, told me he'd got a new taxi but it wasn't - it was a Routemaster he'd disguised to look like the giant wheeled equivalent of the art project fanny from East is East. He acted as if I'd been in on this clever scheme all along and it was literally the best thing ever created. 

He then drove it to Peterborough train station (it got stuck on the Bourges Boulevard) and proceeded to get arrested because the pubes (which twitched as it drove down the road, belching black diesel smoke out of the arse) set the tarmac on fire and a black cab crashed into it. He said: "Ha, this is fucking brilliant, I don't need to see where I'm going with these cinema flaps."

I then offered to buy the arresting officers and WTC a coffee and this caused him to be de-arrested. 

[quicksilver]

I hadn't had a shite dream for a while but last night's was a cracker. The Autoshite collective had bought an old multi-storey car park to use as a central workshop and storage facility and we were in the process of moving cars in. There was a stream of transporters bringing in assorted stuff including a Fiat Regata and a couple of Peugeot 305s. Best of all was a unique LHD US-spec Montego estate still on American plates that was the pride of the fleet and everyone was queuing up to drive it up and down the ramps of the car park.

 

It concerns me how often a Montego features in my nocturnal adventures. Maybe they're trying to tell me something?

 

My dreams are usually self-contained but there was a second instalment of this last night with the arrival at AS multi-storey HQ of the much-prized Vauxhall Dentator, a JRG Mk1 Senator covered in giffer dents including a huge one in the front of the bonnet I think that name's quite clever and I doubt my conscious mind could have thought it up. I guess the heat got to me and addled my brain a bit.

[fred]

I had one two nights ago - One of those ''wake up'' but in fact your still asleep dreams .

 

Found I had parked my old Ventora up on the bedroom landing . The fact that I must have reversed it up a 3 foot wide staircase with a 90 degree bend in it , and through the kitchen along the hallway and in through the back door . Completely missed me . I needed a piss and I couldn't get round it to have one !

[PhilA]

Slightly strange dream last night, took me back to somewhere resembling my old workplace (Bristol airport), where there was an early morning rush to tidy up my toolbox because somebody was repainting an airplane because the TV crew was coming to make a movie.

All the hangars were opened (for some reason there were 4 or 5 small hangars at the bottom of the runway) and then the film crew arrived. Some children started drinking the avgas from the back of the refuel truck, and somebody was driving a Citroen SM around some cones (I've seen that video on YouTube).

They get set up and there's some chase scene being filmed down the runway, some random 2-stroke device like a Tuk-Tuk being chased by a white mk1 police Escort, followed by a Sandglow Allegro pickup, with brown vinyl roof.

They raced up and down the runway a few times then I woke up.

[sierraman]

Had a dream last night about finding a Pepper Red Mondeo 1.6 Mk1 in a scrapyard, it had the super rare light brown interior in it as well. Hopefully this is a premonition...

[Laseraligningfoofooflanges]

Had a dream about my e39 catching fire!!! ive been going through the mire (balljoints in these are a cunt to do!) with it and i have spent maybe 400 quid on bits i know its not the shitey way, but the thrust arms were date stamped 97 and hanging if i am being frank.. arb bushes like old bits of pork scratching, just thought seen as i had the front end in bits i would do it all!

 

I digress.. Dreamt that it took it to my local test centre and i was chatting to one of the lads in there in the little front office, well he told me my car had failed and next up i was putting my fists through the flakey holes in the sills!!

 

Then somehow the car had moved onto a bit of wasteland outside and had caught fucking fire!!! :lol:

 

So i couldnt even salvage all these pricey lemforder control arms and shit off it to recoup some cash!

[purplebargeken]

Okay,perhaps not full on Autoshite but this one did involve me having to murder a traffic warden. I have no idea why she had to die but she just had to go.

 

I then found myself in a room full of people which was about to be stormed by zombies.

 

However,before that happened a mate and I had to show the crowd both of our mini hologram projectors which were a free gift from Slimming World. It was a hologram of The Backstreet Boys playing - Backstreets Back.

 

Yeah, I know. A mini hologram projector.......... ace eh?

[Schaefft]

Just this morning I was dreaming about my Mark VIII being parked in front of my parents house (much like my Senator is right now). After not seeing it for a while I came back to find it complete destroyed (beyond vandalized), without anyone having brought me the news before. Nobody knew who was responsible for it either. I was seriously mad because all the time any money that was invested into to make bring it back to a decent state, without me being able to actually drive it for very long. I was glad when I realized that it was just a dream.

[captain_70s]

Had a very odd dream last night where there was a lorry broken down in the middle of the road and I'd stopped (in a yellow Morris Minor 1000!) to see if I could lend any assistance when a dark green Morris Oxford Series III piloted by an old boy came flying around the corner at about 50mph and ploughed straight into the back of the lorry with no signs of stopping! It hit off centre and span 180 degrees coming to a rest on the opposite lane facing the opposite way with a driver who was 100% less alive than he'd been previously.

Talking to another driver who'd stopped at the scene revealed that the fella was often seen locally driving erratically as he'd drive back home from the pub pissed on a regular basis and evidently his luck had run out...

 

A very odd dream, mostly due to the cars involved.

[purplebargeken]

After watching several you tube videos of Indian scammers getting their computers melted I immediately had a dream about Leepu who constructed a pretty detailed replica Mk 4 Ford Escort XR3i out of cardboard boxes and brown parcel tape. No, I didn't hear it running.