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Formula Autos

Autoshite lexicon

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Stu_CDXing: the art of polishing ones bonnet with population paste.

 

Guaranteed MOT pass: Channel islands speak for 'it's f*cked'.

 

Done a Peugeot: something has broken and/or one of the doors doesn't open.

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PRV - rough as a bears arse with a useable rev range of 2499 - 2501 rpm. Fitted to such things of beauty as the Peugeot 604, Volvo 264, Talbot Tagora, UMM Alter II, Renault 30, Renault Espace, Delorean and Citroen XM. 

Barrett - to buy a plastic car that is rusty as fuck.

Hirst Cab - anything that would have been seen around Wakefield in 1983 illegally plying for hire. 


 

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GR8 4 DRFTIN. - Rear-wheel-drive. Often vehicle will not have sufficient dynamic ability or power to break traction, e.g. Marina 1.3

(see also GR0-GR7, GR9+)

 

Poggleswade - where the late Pog lived

 

Sid & Doris - The Autoshite generic term for couples of a certain age.

 

Wakefield - minicabbing centre of the universe

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Citroen Xsara Picasso - goppingly awful bloated bastard carrier, driven by grunting mongs and their enormous scowling wives to transport their revolting sticky children from one McDonald's to the next. Or a baked potato-shaped MPV for the masses, if you're being charitable.


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Guest Breadvan72

OMG RWD DRFT WEPN  -  MX 5

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GR8 4 DRFTIN. - Rear-wheel-drive. Often vehicle will not have sufficient dynamic ability or power to break traction, e.g. Marina 1.3

(see also GR0-GR7, GR9+)

 

 

 

It's very easy to get a 1.3 Marina sideways, especially if you put a Vauxhall Viva engine in the boot without any restraint.

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The Redtop Brigade - Vauxhall enthusiasts of a certain ilk, who seem determined to put every 'redtop' XE ever made into every small FWD Vauxhall ever made. Statistically impossible, unless they've got the engines on timeshare.

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Grenading - When a car drinks all it's own engine oil via ill designed turbo oil seals, revs uncontollably finally ending in catastrophic engine diahoria by shitting out all its mechanical parts through the side of the engine/back of the exhaust.

For further reference see Renault Laguna II DCi

 

Also applies to automatic gearboxes that sponaniously refuse to the single job they're designed for by not changing gear, illuminating various spurious and alarming lights on the dashboard and finally going permanently into gaelic huff by mechanically shrugging their shoulder. This finally see's you dragging it to the scrap yard with the only consolance being that in a few weeks the engine probably would have grenaded anyway (see above).

For further reference see Renault Laguna II DCi

 

Also see: Time bomb, what could possibly go wrong.

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Grenading - When a car drinks all it's own engine oil via ill designed turbo oil seals, revs uncontollably finally ending in catastrophic engine diahoria by shitting out all its mechanical parts through the side of the engine/back of the exhaust.

For further reference see Renault Laguna II DCi

 

Also applies to automatic gearboxes that sponaniously refuse to the single job they're designed for by not changing gear, illuminating various spurious and alarming lights on the dashboard and finally going permanently into gaelic huff by mechanically shrugging their shoulder. This finally see's you dragging it to the scrap yard with the only consolance being that in a few weeks the engine probably would have grenaded anyway (see above).

For further reference see Renault Laguna II DCi

 

Also see: Time bomb, what could possibly go wrong.

 

F*CK!... read 'Renault' then..........?

 

tooSavvy

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Shadow puppets. Related to photography skills. Points awarded for the best shadow/reflection on an eBay advert, where the photographer appears to be strangling a mutated Manx cat above their head, or is indeed naked. Etc. funny-ebay-advertisement-stupid-naked-pe

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We've forgotten the obligatory !!!!11111!!!1!1!1 at the end of any purchase/moment of euphoria.

 

Often refers to human uber-excitement or a sticking 'Shift' key on a keyboard.

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MOAR - Expression of complaint that the just absorbed dose of Autoshite was too small to overcome one's shite withdrawal symptoms.

PHWOAR - Expression of appreciation that the just absorbed dose of Autoshite was not too small to overcome one's shite withdrawal symptoms.

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"Made of unobtanium" - parts that you won't find anywhere other than a scappies yard or a "specialist' breaker. Most often refers to that bit of trim that was uniquely fitted to your car for one week only during August in 1984. Likely to be a badge, 80's stylee stripe or bit of dash furniture. In more modern motors refers to anything that you can only buy from a franchised main dealer at extortionate prices, like parts for smarts  :mad: or electronic thingumajigs

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Barn Find, as in "A car on ebay that hasn't been driven for over 4 hours and was washed a week or more ago, yet has no keys or documents. Price will be correspondingly higher than the other 3000 examples available"

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Owned by mechnic - Mechanically severely neglected car due to can't be arsedness to turn a bolt after tinkering all day at work with customers' chod. Usually the rear seat and carpet are soaked with oil from carrying around engine and gearbox spares, and the steering wheel and driver's door pull are covered with a black crust.

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Hm. It's starting to sound like an ebay terminology guide.

 

Could we keep it to genuine autoshite language? That'd be more help to newcomers (assuming they bother to read this thread, which they probably won't).

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'Buy it, they're great cars, I would if I had the money etc': Translates to: I wouldn't touch one with a fifty foot disinfected barge pole, but it's not my money and I'll laugh when I read your thread about it going wrong in style.

 

What's the worse than can happen? Everything!

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Arnold Clark - Purveyor of quality* motor vehicles with great* customer service*.   Frequently a source of long and winding threads usually descending into arguments.

 

See also - Chiselling Scottish Shyster.

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