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Autoshite dreams?


ProgRocker

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So you killed someone by squeezing their face. You must have hands like dinner plates. I'm still giggling now!

 

Last dream was of randomly driving around then finding myself stuck in the middle of a load of zombies. I get out and start killing them all. WTF is it about me and zombies. I wake up knackered FFS.

 

you should play more Left4Dead, mate, that will square your zombie worries away.

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When I was eight I had a dream about a man going too fast in a white Renault 4 and flying through the air before landing on its side in a scrapyard. When the driver crashed he calmly said ouch. The scrapyard owner was sitting on a stool wearing a tartan cap and chuckling to himself.

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Left4Dead - bunch of wusses, I was using a crowbar and a long screwdriver, pah!

 

Zombies are such a hassle, they get in the way of a perfectly good dream. Mind you, I see zombies on a daily basis. I do live in Edmonton after all.

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Dollywobbler selling his eGolf to former Aston Villa manager John Gregory. For the press release he was quoted as saying that his EGolf is probably the best signing of his career.

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  • 3 weeks later...

No zombies this time! They iz having a break to regroup.

 

This time I was in the army, based in an old psychiatric hospital in Hertfordshire. The place was being demolished at some point and we were there for some obscure and undefined reason. I was on duty one evening and my oppo had a nifty rifle that I hadn't seen before. I remember it had a fairly small magazine - 5 rounds. I asked her for a 'go' of the rifle and I targeted the wall of a building about 100' away. I fired the round and was impressed by the lack of recoil and thought nothing more of it. 

 

I then continued to fix up a mates Triumph with white vinyl seats which just happened to be there.

 

About 15 minutes later the call went out that there was a fire in the gym and the fire brigade were called. All the brass became involved and it was then that I noticed a series of rather large perfectly round holes going through a number of walls before it stopped in the gym. I shit myself thinking that my round had caused the fire. I was hoping that the brass were too dim to notice said holes and that they would blame the fire on an old tramp or something. I was then trying to phone Unison to be my direct debit re-instated just so that I had union representation in case they discovered it was me. I just kept very quiet and tried to look not very shifty. They never linked it to me, phew and I didn't need to account for the missing round. I then walked through the old hospital and found staff transferring a very large amount of money from a big fuck off vault into one of those Group 4/Securicor vans. The safe door was about 2' thick. We were allowed to sit in the van and whilst it was very impressive it felt very claustrophobic. 

 

The sound of a cat litter tray being used then woke me up. 

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Last night I was conned into buying a gold HC Viva with a serious rust hole on the nearside wing just in front of the A pillar. I was happy to wake up after that!

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Given that the word "traumatised" is rooted in the German for "dream" I can understand why I woke up in that condition after the thing I bought in my sleep last night. All I can describe is that it was a cross between a Massey Ferguson tractor and a Bond 875. It wasn't complete but ran. Something wrong with the carburation meant it would only idle lumpily or run on 75 percent throttle. The transaction took place on the top floor of a multi-storey and everybody involved had disappeared leaving me to get the bloody thing home. I blame Morgan's Spiced and I am sticking to the Newcastle from now on.....

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I had a  weird fucked up dream couple O nights ago

Edwina Curry giving me a blow job in the back of my old Ventora whilst it was rolling down a steep hill and heading towards a waterfall 

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That's pretty fucked fred. What were you smoking? I'll keep away from that shit!

Tell me about it, wasnt the young Edwina either it was the haggard old version - be bugger

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I had a weird fucked up dream couple O nights ago

Edwina Curry giving me a blow job in the back of my old Ventora whilst it was rolling down a steep hill and heading towards a waterfall

I bet she swallows!

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Was at my mum and dad's house (which wasn't their house, but you know how dreams go). I was about 18, and was sat in the back garden with my friends. I went to the bottom of the garden and there was an 80's Cortina overgrown with grass. I shouted to my dad there's an old Cortina overgrown with grass, and he said it was his. But the car was a scale model, and was so small the grass was growing in blades through the door windows. In my mind it was a full size one, but it wasn't.

I think I woke myself up at that point, as the dream was becoming frankly too mundane and mediocre.

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Last nights dream had a stunningly lovely bright red Mk 2 Escort in it. Either 1.6 or 1.3 GL.

 

Can't recall owt else but wanted to clarify that there were no zombies present (again). They may be on holiday.

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In my dreams sometimes there is a secret compartment in my garage, from whence I can get out all my long-dead cars and take them out for a spin.

 

If zombies are the undead these cars are the unscrapped.

 

Even though I know I'm spending time in the Twilight Zone I'm always sorry to wake from these dreams.

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Guest Breadvan72

Someone died and I inherited from them a Rover 75 Estate with a tow bar and a bizarre tutti-frutti rat look paint job.  I am still traumatised by this dream.

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I bought a multi coloured Ford Transit. Light blue lower half with united colours of Benetton upper.

I had to transfer it from Scotland to home without Mrs sloth finding out about it.

Also the Puma had been replaced with a metallic blood red MG ZS.

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Just woke up convinced that I'd just paid £4001 for a brand new old shape Ford KA. The extra £1 was for power steering.

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I was driving around on the bare bones chassis of a Reliant last night. The fecker was a bastard to control as it kept doing wheelies whenever I pulled away.

 

I then found myself in some big supermarket trying to catch 3 cute little ginger kittens so I could take 'em home.

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The night before last I dreamt that I was nearly hit by a Blue Nova hatchback barrel rolling over a garden hedge.

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Dreamt I h ad a gig with a work ate. We didn't have any songs and he couldn't play any instruments, but we had to write some as the gig was in 15 minutes. We wrote and rehearsed, and Lemmy and Phil Lynott was in the band, so that was good. We did one song and winged it. We were headlining as well. While waiting for other bands to set up, we could hear jets flying overhead (we were in a school building). They came close to the building, one had an antenna out of the back, about 20 metres long. One of the jets gently dropped something, which landed on the ground not far away.

Suddenly heard an explosion which was loud in my dream, and realised one of the jets had bombed the school. Everyone ran and one room had smoke pouring out of it with people inside. Everyone ran for their lives.

These dreams are quite cool once you wake up, but harrowing, I've had a load about bombing and plane crashes. Surely the subconscious link between performing and bombing is obvious here?

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I occasionally have a dream (its never the same dream, but the same car appears in it) which features a Hillman Imp that I've never owned in real life, that I drive but I've also failed to save from being terminally rusty. There's an aura of specialness and rarity surrounding this Imp, like I'm the custodian of a one-off factory car but I don't know or can't remember exactly what it is that makes it special.

I don't have the dream often, last week was the first time in a couple of years.

it may be guilt about my first Imp, but not due to me writing it off, but more that I found out as I stripped it that it was ruined anyway.

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Guest Breadvan72

Two night ago I dreamed that my old Alfa 156 turned into a motorbike, and then one of the bike's two exhaust pipes fell off, and then instead of pipes it had two handlebars that projected straight back along the tank, and one of those came off in my hand.  This all took place in a yard that I have never been to but which was in the advert photos of an MV Agusta 350S Ipotesi that I once bought off the internet. Most disconcerting.  

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Last night I dreamt that I was house sitting for a former neighbour as he wanted me to keep his cars,an early four speed TR7 and Scimitar SE5,exercised. The bizarre thing is I dreamt that I had woke up and immediately logged on to here via an ipad to tell you all about this dream. Fucking strange! I was getting frustrated that the ipad was not recognising what I was telling it to write and was scared that I'd forget what cars I was dreaming about.

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  • 3 months later...

Dreamt I'd just bought an Escort XR3i with the reg DVU61Y. It had bald rear tyres but the vendor assured me that the tread would reappear if I changed the rear shocks. I went through with the purchase because I still had some replacement stem seals.

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When I was younger, I used to dream about a blue Noble that was also a woman somehow, like Kitt in Nightrider I suppose. It looked after me and drove me round places saying soothing things while I slept inside. Went round the Nurburgring but I was asleep (in the car, in my dream) so I missed it. I remember it being the most comfortable calming place I could ever imagine. I used to wake up in the car (in my dream) then panic as I was meant to be driving it and we were traveling quite quick, then I'd remember it drove itself and I'd go back to sleep.

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Dreamed last night I was driving a 1971 Cadillac Eldorado Coupe.

It had a dash mounted manual gear change like a Renault 4. Gold with red velour bench seat and a stereo that played 7 inch vinyl.

 

Woke up in a really good mood.

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  • 2 weeks later...

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