F**ked Black Rover 827 SLi - The Mistake Machine

[St.Jude]

I’ve no luck selling cars on here but this might change today! For sale is this thing.

A more realistic less arty photo:

Yep, you may remember it. The sale thread is on here but I’m not going to link it.

Let me go through the good bits:

MOT until 3rd April 2023 - so about a week left

Stainless steel exhaust

Its a Honda V6

Has a climate control facility

Head lining seems ok.

Has a steering wheel.

Supposed to have a range of spares in the boot, can’t confirm that though for reason below.

Has the Rover workshop folders and the Haynes BOL - which will be most handy for reasons below.

Has a good box of history that I won’t be sorry to see go.

Has original expansion tank with no sign of cracking - which is rare.

Rolls really well off trailers.

 

Now, the bad bits:

It won’t run.

It will need welding for an MOT.

It won’t run.

It will need at least one tyre as the front passenger side is perished.

Passenger side head light not working.

It won’t run.

Boot lock is seized, probably from the water making its way in to the car. Was meant to be rear head light gasket, who knows as I can’t get it open.

The boot is probably full of water, it smells very wet. And there is mould to prove to you that it’s a bit moist inside.

Front of the engine rocker is damp with oil.

Battery isn’t ties down and seems to be missing a strap to hold it. And I’m fairly sure the battery tray itself is rotten, so the whole battery is flopping around like a horses dick on parade.

Rear drivers side wheel has 3 nuts on it, should have 4.

Bit of rust around the sunroof but that’s the least of your problems really.

 

In terms of “it’s not running” it really isn’t. I’ve seen it run once in person, and since then the exhaust chap noted that it would only crank but not start. Now it just gives a little “click” and nothing more. Even had a powerful jump pack attached to it and it was still dead. I’ve found out since that there’s a history of running issues with the car. Could be grounds, looks like someone has already been messing around trying to diagnose it, but it wasn’t me.

Rust, as I see it, is on the sill on the rear passenger side. I didn’t much poke or prod it, but I put my foot under it and saw it flex and felt it being crunchy. I don’t have a photo of it yet as I’m not with the car. But I’m not fucking around welding the cunt.

 

Price for now is £750. More than what the scrap man will give but it doesn’t take a genius either to work out what I paid for it and transport costs. That’s the cost of my own stupidity, I can accept that. But it’s going to the scrapper if no one wants it. 

As for transport, I can highly recommend Ceri for it as he’s already had it on his trailer 3 times! So he’s the expert with it 😂

[HMC]

Looks really smart, isn’t it ex met police? 

[St.Jude]

1 minute ago, HMC said:

Looks really smart, isn’t it ex met police? 

Supposed to be yeah. 

[Dick Cheeseburger]

Shame that this hasn't panned out well for you, chap. It still looks a lovely old thing for £notalot - it would be great if someone on here took it under their wing.

Edit: It looked top dollar when the previous owner showed it in 2018.

[Pat Earrings]

Wait a minute have I missed something? I thought this thing was in great nick and well cared for? 

[BorniteIdentity]

If the buyer admits it was his own stupidity, I’m not there’s any need to level any accusations at the seller? 

Everything works up until the point that they don’t. Everything’s good until they break. When a car gets to 2-3x it’s intended life expectancy, it happens. 

GLWS. Someone will take it on. 

[Rust Collector]

What’s the fragging deadline for it, and whereabouts does it need trailering from? I’m on mobile view so can’t see locations, and I’m too useless to know how to change it to desktop.

[St.Jude]

19 minutes ago, Pat Earrings said:

Wait a minute have I missed something? I thought this thing was in great nick and well cared for? 

Like @BorniteIdentity said, and why I’ve not linked or mentioned the seller etc, is that I’m the dickhead who didn’t go up and see it before I bought it and I’m the dickhead who took the descriptions and photos at face value. If I had seen it, I’d have walked away. I don’t need two projects, and I was clear about that at the time.

I would say that mostly, maybe, people have different standards. So I want to leave it at that in terms of how I bought it.

10 minutes ago, Rust Collector said:

What’s the fragging deadline for it, and whereabouts does it need trailering from? I’m on mobile view so can’t see locations, and I’m too useless to know how to change it to desktop.

Fragging deadline I would say a month. It’s on the wonk on my moms drive, my sister can’t get on it so she’s in my ear moaning about it. As I thought it was just a starting issue I didn’t think it’d be difficult to sort but it’s beyond anything I even want to attempt. It’s based in Birmingham.

[RoverFolkUs]

I command that @Rust Collector buys it so that it comes near Sussex for future purchasing purposes goes to a good home 😉

[Pat Earrings]

Sorry to hear that @St.Jude. Good of you not to do that. Hopefully it finds a good home chap

[grogee]

Sorry about this @St.Jude. Not what you need with a recalcitrant Toyota Land-Taker-Upper as well. Was mildly tempted myself at the time but had already lumbered myself with another British gem*.

GLWS

[Rust Collector]

13 minutes ago, RoverFolkUs said:

I command that @Rust Collector buys it so that it comes near Sussex for future purchasing purposes goes to a good home 😉

I’d love to as I’ve always wanted one of the Honda V6’s and I’ve never owned a Rover, but I don’t think the white BX will be gone within a month sadly.

[St.Jude]

6 minutes ago, Rust Collector said:

I’d love to as I’ve always wanted one of the Honda V6’s and I’ve never owned a Rover, but I don’t think the white BX will be gone within a month sadly.

If you have £750 in your pocket to give to me in exchange for this heap I will gladly hold on to it for a bit longer 

[Rust Collector]

Just now, St.Jude said:

If you have £750 in your pocket to give to me in exchange for this heap I will gladly hold on to it for a bit longer 

Sadly not, I’ve literally just picked up something else so spare toy money is not a thing currently. The BX has to go in order to fund further projects currently.

[St.Jude]

6 minutes ago, Rust Collector said:

Sadly not, I’ve literally just picked up something else so spare toy money is not a thing currently. The BX has to go in order to fund further projects currently.

You and I are quite alike in that respect 😂

36 minutes ago, grogee said:

Sorry about this @St.Jude. Not what you need with a recalcitrant Toyota Land-Taker-Upper as well. Was mildly tempted myself at the time but had already lumbered myself with another British gem*.

GLWS

To be fair, the shit with the Land Cruiser made me write it tbh. 

[vaughant]

Didn't these things have some ridiculous battery reset procedure involving holding down brake pedals or some other Austin Rover nonsense?

I take it you've gone directly to the starter and bridged across to see if it will at least crank over?

And if so put some Lynx or brake cleaner in the air intake to at least get it running for a few seconds?

I could look through the wiring diagram for the start/charge circuit to see if there's anything obvious to check?

I'd even consider bypassing the whole existing battery earth but putting a jump lead from the earth post to the body. If the tray has rotted away that could be your bad earth.

[grogee]

48 minutes ago, Rust Collector said:

The BX has to go

 

[DaveDorson]

Oh, that's a shame.

 

I was mega keen on this, but it sounds like it'd not have been the right car for me either, and I've just bought a massive liability with the potential for huge bills and moved workshop and don't really want to fill it with more projects as I may need a range rover sized space at any moment when it decides to inevitably shit itself 

[sierraman]

Difficult one. It’s a shame to frag it but then on the other hand it doesn’t have a lot going for it. That said it should break well as it’s got some useful bits on it so redeeming £750 should it turn out to be a complete rats nest should prove straightforward. 

[Dobloseven]

A sad story.The car doesn't seem to quite match the description of when it was offered for sale. But it's 30 plus years old and something that age can go downhill very rapidly without constant fettling.Realistically,as it stands, immobile and very short Mot, needing welding as well, there's a very limited market for it. Hope everything comes good for you.Think you deserve a bit of good luck. Have you considered a Vauxhall..........!? Sorry, couldn't resist! 

[TheXUDfiles]

Sorry if I sound like I'm teaching anybody to suck eggs but is it possible that the battery is so fucked it won't even respond to a jump pack? I've had that happen before, and thought the car was totally dead as well.

In my experience anything less than 03.00v won't even crank.

 

 

[Tetleysmooth]

Could be worth having a butchers at this. I think there was a previous video too, where they rescued it and tried to get it started.

[M'coli]

In the sad event that it heads to the bridge would it be worth removing the exhaust first?

[RoverFolkUs]

These things are getting desirable, even if it doesn't live there will be someone out there who will buy it to retrieve as many unobtainium parts as possible

Very unlikely there will be no option other than to send it over the bridge where it gets baled as it is along with every unobtainium part in sight

[NorthernMonkey]

3 hours ago, TheXUDfiles said:

Sorry if I sound like I'm teaching anybody to suck eggs but is it possible that the battery is so fucked it won't even respond to a jump pack? I've had that happen before, and thought the car was totally dead as well.

In my experience anything less than 03.00v won't even crank.

 

 

This. A totally dead battery will not only not start the car but will also pull down the power from a power pack or leads when attempting to jump start it.

Remove the knackered battery and stick another on, borrowed from another motor. Chances are it’ll spin over ok and may even fire up?

[NorthernMonkey]

Loved these 827s when I had the forecourt in Leeds back in the 90s.

Always had either one of them or a series 3 to smoke around in…that engine was such a revelation compared to anything Ford or GM produced at the time and was every bit as refined as the 5.3 V12 in my XJS.

[sutty2006]

I passed a silver one turning out of a junction this morning. Such a handsome looking thing. Wish I had the time and space and money and knowledge to fix her up . Deffo worth trying a good battery on it. 

[Flat4]

2 hours ago, NorthernMonkey said:

Loved these 827s when I had the forecourt in Leeds back in the 90s.

Always had either one of them or a series 3 to smoke around in…that engine was such a revelation compared to anything Ford or GM produced at the time and was every bit as refined as the 5.3 V12 in my XJS.

Get it bought! If anyone can bring it back to it's former glory, it's you.

[Tetleysmooth]

I'm just pretty sad that Mayor Kahn and his oppos have stopped me having anything like this now. Even that 11 plate Insignia diesel I'm borrowing from the company at the moment is non compliant. I was talking to one of my Irish colleagues a couple of days ago. He was telling me he's got an S type 3.0 V6 Jag. I really thought we were going to crack out a deal on it until I saw photos. V reg. Non compliant. Hope someone buys this and brings it back to life. Not too many about now.

[DodgeRover]

2 hours ago, Tetleysmooth said:

I was talking to one of my Irish colleagues a couple of days ago. He was telling me he's got an S type 3.0 V6 Jag. 

Is the S type cheap enough to be an engine donor?