The grumpy thread

[EyesWeldedShut]

35 minutes ago, SunnySouth said:

Ooof. Try “Phishing” as well for added Tedium Points!

It’s in here, emails, QR codes the lot. Nothing has changed in the past 12 months either so it’s all really ‘meh’.

It is going to end in a multiple guess quiz that we need to get something like 90% in - three attempts, if you don’t get the 90 you have to do it all over again. 
Problem is that some questions are really ambiguous (imho) plus many are ‘some, all or none of these apply’ and they shuffle the answers in from a pool of possibilities.

Afternoon sesh is the H&S training…. 

[horriblemercedes]

Am I the arsehole here?

 

I've got a friend (a good, close friend) who wants to talk on the phone a lot. This isn't itself the problem.

I like him very much and talking to him, but usually in the evenings I've got something that I must do/want to do. I think he sees it as "if you're at home, you're free."

Recently he phoned in the evening and I answered it. He asked what I was doing and I replied that I was reading a book. He then launched into conversation. I think it offended him when I said that that meant I was busy. I was doing something that I had been looking forward to doing all day. I think because he doesn't like books and films, he doesn't get that someone might actually really want to read a book or watch a film. Therefore just having a general chat was below it on my list of priorities. He just saw it as being completely free.

The conversation was just about nothing. Chitchat. We had had a long conversation the day before which was just chitchat and had been together all weekend.

 

For a bit more context, usually these calls are at a time that suits him. When he's on a long car journey. Or sitting alone drinking and bored. If he sent a text during the day, saying "are you free tonight around 7:30? It would be good to have a chat", that would be a bit more helpful as I might arrange my evening differently (eating, cleaning, tidying, other stuff etc).

 

Am I a dick for not just making time or am I being reasonable that if I already have something to do, it's fine to get on with it? I'm not sure any more as this has been going on for a very long time....

[cms206]

V62 sent away for the 240 this morning.

No chequebook. Went the post office for a postal order.

Need cash for a postal order.

"It's fine! You can withdraw cash right here at the counter!"

... unless it's Monzo. Then you can't.

Walk down to get cash out at a bank. Go back in to find every Tam, Jean and Isa in the queue.

25 minutes to get back to the counter. £25 postal order is actually £28.13, plus another quid odds for a stamp.

Fucking saints preserve us man.

[beko1987]

1 hour ago, SunnySouth said:

Ooof. Try “Phishing” as well for added Tedium Points!

I'm at least 3 months overdue for mine 😁 Apparent the exec board sees them, and we have anew ceo joining us 01/06 and there's been rumors of a blitz being called for, but ive not been directly told to yet so meh 

[Sunny Jim]

@horriblemercedes people expect us to be available if we're not working, especially because of mobiles. Doesn't matter whether or not what you're doing is 'important' if you don't want to talk don't answer, it's not rude and you're certainly not being an arsehole.

Boundaries are important in any relationship.

[comfortablynumb]

Agree totally with @Sunny Jim, as a full-time carer I think people expect me to be sitting on my arse all day.

I dumped the landline a while ago, we all have mobiles. If I don't want to talk to someone, I just don't answer it. I'll probably call back later with the 'sorry I missed you ' bit, but unless it's my daughter with young grandkids, or my mum, I'll pick & choose when I'm available.

If that makes me am awkward grumpy bastard then so be it.

We've got a rule in my house anyway, if it rings once, answer if you're available.

If it keeps ringing, there's an issue, pick the bloody thing up!

Don't let your phone control you @horriblemercedes 

Edit - should say that since I still  have sciatica, I'm lying down rather than sitting on my arse currently 🙄

Edited May 30 by comfortablynumb
Additional

[sdkrc]

1 hour ago, horriblemercedes said:

Recently he phoned in the evening and I answered it. He asked what I was doing and I replied that I was reading a book. He then launched into conversation. 

Tell him to fuck off or just don't answer when you're busy. 

Value your spare time more. If you don't want to spend an hour on the phone chatting you don't have to. 

[High Jetter]

1 hour ago, horriblemercedes said:

I've got a friend

I'd expect a friendship to be able to tolerate 'sorry I'm a bit tied up at the moment, I'll ring you back' - or, as suggested, just don't answer.

[horriblemercedes]

6 minutes ago, sdkrc said:

Tell him to fuck off or just don't answer when you're busy. 

Value your spare time more. If you don't want to spend an hour on the phone chatting you don't have to. 

Just to clarify, I'm not suggesting he's being an arsehole. I just get the impression he's offended when I do this.

 

I do explain that I'm busy or I don't answer. I just wondered what people thought - is this fine when I'm 'just' reading a book or 'just' sitting in the garden and fancy doing 'just' that? Or do I come across as a bit dismissive. I just wondered if people thought I was in the wrong there. He hasn't suggested I'm doing anything wrong with it.

[horriblemercedes]

7 minutes ago, High Jetter said:

I'd expect a friendship to be able to tolerate 'sorry I'm a bit tied up at the moment, I'll ring you back' - or, as suggested, just don't answer.

This is how I've handled it for several years now, don't get me wrong!

 

I just feel he's usually a bit offended by it. He hasn't actually said anything or done anything wrong. I just wondered if people thought the same as I was thinking. I don't want to be unreasonable

[Spiny Norman]

I had a mate that used to do that. I mean he's still a mate but he's got a wife and kids now so has no spare time whatsoever for needless prattling, but back in the days before caller ID he used to keep me tied up for ages on the phone talking utter bollox. 

He once ran out the 30 minutes of my answering machine's tape with a 'Oh well you're not in, but anyway, yesterday....' monologue. 

[paulplom]

I've got a mate like that. He's on the phone a minimum half an hour at a time. I never answer these days but message him saying I'm busy what do you want. If there was purpose to his conversation there wouldn't be a problem but he's boring af. With other mates we've said all we need in about a minute and leave the rest till we're having a pint or whatever.

You're not ignorant in the slightest. Your time is just as important than theirs.

[horriblemercedes]

8 minutes ago, Spiny Norman said:

I had a mate that used to do that. I mean he's still a mate but he's got a wife and kids now so has no spare time whatsoever for needless prattling, but back in the days before caller ID he used to keep me tied up for ages on the phone talking utter bollox. 

He once ran out the 30 minutes of my answering machine's tape with a 'Oh well you're not in, but anyway, yesterday....' monologue. 

 

 

This is it, more or less. I like the guy, he's a mate, he's not doing anything wrong. I just want to see if other people would feel offended about a conversation being cut short, as I don't want to be a dick and offend him.

I can talk bollocks as much as anyone else, but not all the time!

[paulplom]

Most of my mates just whatsapp. That way you can answer at you leisure.

Waiting for a flight to Tunisia currently and we booked the excecutive lounge where it's free food and drink. It's chokka in here and I'm also terriffied of flying so wanted to get pissed to calm my nerves. Mentioned it on our group chat. Who needs enemies?

[Lord Sterling]

4 hours ago, horriblemercedes said:

Am I the arsehole here?

I've got a friend (a good, close friend) who wants to talk on the phone a lot. This isn't itself the problem.

I like him very much and talking to him, but usually in the evenings I've got something that I must do/want to do. I think he sees it as "if you're at home, you're free."

Recently he phoned in the evening and I answered it. He asked what I was doing and I replied that I was reading a book. He then launched into conversation. I think it offended him when I said that that meant I was busy. I was doing something that I had been looking forward to doing all day. I think because he doesn't like books and films, he doesn't get that someone might actually really want to read a book or watch a film. Therefore just having a general chat was below it on my list of priorities. He just saw it as being completely free.

The conversation was just about nothing. Chitchat. We had had a long conversation the day before which was just chitchat and had been together all weekend.

I've got a couple of mates like that. To be honest, if I don't want to talk when I'm at home minding my own business. I'll just say; 'sorry I'm a bit busy, let me call you back later' and carry on doing what I do knowing that at some point I need to make time. I do feel a but of bastard doing that, but I like my own time too.

Some people don't have a filter of understanding how other people work. Like you said, your mate probably thinks that as you've answered the phone and your at home, you've automatically got time.

Bear in mind though that there may something else going on in the background of his life that he hasn't revealed or is causing anguish (unless he is always like this, as I said, I have friends like this)

[chadders]

2 hours ago, paulplom said:

Most of my mates just whatsapp. That way you can answer at you leisure.

Waiting for a flight to Tunisia currently and we booked the excecutive lounge where it's free food and drink. It's chokka in here and I'm also terriffied of flying so wanted to get pissed to calm my nerves. Mentioned it on our group chat. Who needs enemies?

And they still don't know what caused the recent Jeju Air crash, the exact same 737 model as yours. If it's the same thing it'll probably be over before you notice it, especially if you're pissed.

[beko1987]

Dad's had his car keyed 😡

Worryingly its his first initial but it could be a Z. He's no idea when it happened but fuck me they've done well/fuck me ev paint is thin.

He read the motability docs and a touch up pen repair is allowed so that's plan A, my stepmum is good at art so a tiny brush might do well, then I said I'd come and try to polish it down once that's done and cured.

[Spiny Norman]

Took a day off work and spent it sitting in the house waiting for Scottish Power to come and swap over my electric meter ahead of the RTS switch off. 
Needless to say no-one turned up, no phone call, nothing. 

Cunts. 

 

[Momentary Lapse Of Reason]

7 hours ago, beko1987 said:

I'm at least 3 months overdue for mine 😁 Apparent the exec board sees them, and we have anew ceo joining us 01/06 and there's been rumors of a blitz being called for, but ive not been directly told to yet so meh 

Amateur, some of the bazillion courses I'm supposed to do are over a year out of date.

Especially the IT Security ones (guess what I do).

Still I retire in three months and I still won't have done them then. 

[chaseracer]

47 minutes ago, MrGTI6 said:

Door-to-door sales is no different to cold-calling in my opinion. By all means drop a leaflet through the letterbox, but don't interrupt my day to try and sell me something I don't want.

Arrived home this evening, walking from the car to the front door carrying a couple of bags of shopping whilst fumbling for the keys to the front door. 

I heard an unfamiliar voice behind me say "I was just about to knock at your door". Turned round and this prick's banging on about fucking milk. 

I interrupted with "not a good time mate" or words to that effect. I was literally walking to the front door carrying bags of shopping and desperate for a slash.

Unlocked the front door and picked up my shopping bags to see said prick now standing right behind me. I ended up stepping in the house and slamming the door in his face. 

Now I feel guilty for being rude to someone who is just doing their job, but FFS, take a hint.

You shouldn't.  He failed to 'read the room'.

Or drive/front path, in this case...

😉

[High Jetter]

2 hours ago, Spiny Norman said:

Took a day off work and spent it sitting in the house waiting for Scottish Power to come and swap over my electric meter ahead of the RTS switch off. 
Needless to say no-one turned up, no phone call, nothing. 

Cunts. 

 

Contact them, demand recompense for your loss. You might get £30?

[High Jetter]

5 hours ago, Lord Sterling said:

I've got a couple of mates like that. To be honest, if I don't want to talk when I'm at home minding my own business. I'll just say; 'sorry I'm a bit busy, let me call you back later' and carry on doing what I do knowing that at some point I need to make time. I do feel a but of bastard doing that, but I like my own time too.

Some people don't have a filter of understanding how other people work. Like you said, your mate probably thinks that as you've answered the phone and your at home, you've automatically got time.

Bear in mind though that there may something else going on in the background of his life that he hasn't revealed or is causing anguish (unless he is always like this, as I said, I have friends like this)

I don't have many friends, so less of an issue tbh. The wife, though.....and she has a big family!

[Spiny Norman]

1 hour ago, High Jetter said:

Contact them, demand recompense for your loss. You might get £30?

Aye I was reading up on that. Apparently they're supposed to do it automatically since they'll know about it from their engineer's report, and if they don't within 14 days it gets doubled. 
So I'll hold off for a couple of weeks...

[SunnySouth]

Lying here at 1am contemplating that the missus has signed me up to suffer 10 f**king hours at some total strangers’ wedding tomorrow (well, today…)  - FFS 🙄

Does anybody else just not understand why on earth people feel the need to subject their ‘guests’ to this sort of endurance length marathon?! Just get the paperwork done and then we can all sod off home, surely!

[Metal Guru]

23 minutes ago, SunnySouth said:

Lying here at 1am contemplating that the missus has signed me up to suffer 10 f**king hours at some total strangers’ wedding tomorrow (well, today…)  - FFS 🙄

Does anybody else just not understand why on earth people feel the need to subject their ‘guests’ to this sort of endurance length marathon?! Just get the paperwork done and then we can all sod off home, surely!

I feel for you. Did that last weekend.

Too many women have been brainwashed into thinking it’s their special day and spending north of £20k showing off to everyone they’ve ever met is the only way to do it. (Some men maybe too, but the wedding industry focussed on women and how much money can be extracted from them.) 
Normally intelligent women act like they’re five again and want to be a princess for the day.  Luckily my wife , didn’t think this way , and my FIL paid for our garage to be built instead.

[New POD]

6 hours ago, Metal Guru said:

I feel for you. Did that last weekend.

Too many women have been brainwashed into thinking it’s their special day and spending north of £50k showing off to everyone they’ve ever met is the only way to do it. (Some men maybe too, but the wedding industry focussed on women and how much money can be extracted from them.) 
Normally intelligent women act like they’re five again and want to be a princess for the day.  Luckily my wife , didn’t think this way , and my FIL paid for our garage to be built instead.

I've edited that for a Conservative figure. 

I've said to my daughter that every £1k she thinks I should pay for her wedding (she's not engaged) is 4 weeks of retirement that I have to delay. 

And that's before you add in the cost to everyone that attends.  

I recon that I've attended 6 family weddings since 2009 and 2 other weddings. 

If you add up the cost of flights, hotels, new dresses and suits and shoes, I've spent over £2k as an average per wedding.  I twice paid for 4 people to fly to Dayton for weddings. 

If 100 guests are paying for hotels at say (for a couple)  £200 a night for 2 nights, buying a new £300 dress, £30 shirt £80 on a hairdo, £150 shoes, meals, petrol, parking, they could have spend £1000 per couple

£100k for every one to attend? 

Just had an invite to the evening do of my daughter's school friend, because my daughter is a bridesmaid.  Daughter went to the hen do.  Where?  They all flew to Spain. I reckon £700 each for the weekend. 8 of them. 

 

[ETCHY]

6 hours ago, Metal Guru said:

I feel for you. Did that last weekend.

Too many women have been brainwashed into thinking it’s their special day and spending north of £20k showing off to everyone they’ve ever met is the only way to do it. (Some men maybe too, but the wedding industry focussed on women and how much money can be extracted from them.) 
Normally intelligent women act like they’re five again and want to be a princess for the day.  Luckily my wife , didn’t think this way , and my FIL paid for our garage to be built instead.

We did Civil Partnetship.  Me, her,  two family witnesses & the folk who do the Ceremony stuff. Then the four of us had a meal afterwards. Lovely day it was special & cost a few hundred. Result is we're effectively married. We're happy with that.

 

[myglaren]

I think our wedding cost about fifty quid.  A rush do at the registry office*, sandwiches and cakes at the in-laws.  She made her own wedding dress from material given to her by the haberdashers that she worked in.

 

*No, not a pregnancy.  She didn't get pregnant for another three years.

[Spiny Norman]

Without doing anything beyond calling the meter engineer (different company, not SP) yesterday after the cunt didn't show up, I got an email from SP this morning. Looks like the penalty has gone up to £40. 

"I would like to apologise for the failed appointment that was scheduled [30th May 2025, Between 2pm-6pm].

I have sent a request for the £40 Ofgem Guaranteed Standards payment; this will be refunded to your bank account within the next 10-14 days."

[chadders]

Our youngest son and his fiancee are getting married at Lake Bled.

They're paying for it themselves, we're paying for their honeymoon, a european railtrip. We're also paying for our travel and accommodation, as my missus insisted on it, so it'll cost a few bob unless I can use my BA Airmiles.

Given she's from Austria and has far more relatives than him it's a logical location, albeit a very attractive one. I think that her mam is making her wedding dress, the same way my missus made her own.

My view is that it's their money and can do what they want with it, especially as neither of them are 'keeping up with the Jones' types.