The grumpy thread

[myglaren]

I have no will and it is something that I have been considering.  I don't  have much of value and am fortunate in that my kids would never fight over the things they might want, none are in the least avaricious and all get on well with one another.

I did mention it to my son, who's partner is a lawyer and his recommendation was to propose my son in law, a very smart bloke, to act as executor as he has no vested interest in whatever estate may need to be handled.

I think that this is excellent advice, to have an executor someone who is not a beneficiary and can be neutral with regard to all parties and items.

[High Jetter]

10 hours ago, maxxo said:

successful Christmas 

I want to react to that, but couldn't decide if you'd take Congratulations the wrong way. Your grand parents are lucky to have you - and you them, of course.

[Metal Guru]

1 hour ago, GrumpiusMaximus said:

@maxxo if they don't have a will, as others have said, you are in for an absolute World of pain.  It doesn't need to take them long or cost them much to write one.  If everybody gets along and nobody argues, it's not so bad but nothing divides a family like an inheritance and if there's any animosity in the family it makes probate (the inheritance process where there is no will) a lot, lot harder.

There are also other considerations like lasting power of attorney that can make things a lot easier but conversely, if not done in time can make your life so much harder.

I'm not trying to alarm you here - but there's an example at the moment with a friend of ours.  Her Dad is disabled, blind, deaf and has some signs of dementia.  Her mother - who is also her Dad's carer - has just had a major stroke and during her hospital stay that she has terminal cancer with a short prognosis.  Our friend and her two siblings are trying to get power of attorney so that they can sort out their affairs but because their Dad has some signs of dementia, they're fighting a battle to try and demonstrate that he has enough mental capacity to sign over lasting power of attorney.  Once somebody is assessed as losing capacity then it can't be signed over and you can't make legal decisions for them.

Conversely, when my Grandmother moved into my parents house a few years ago she signed over power of attorney.  A few months later she started showing signs of dementia and by the end I suspect it wouldn't have been granted.  Because it was granted, dealing with her affairs (including her flat, etc.) was relatively easy.

Lasting power of attorney is only ever needed by the time it gets too late for it to be granted - so if it feels like it's too early for it be discussed, it might actually be the right time.

I left it too late to get power of attorney over my Dad’s stuff. He signed it (probably shouldn’t have done), but he died before it was issued let alone registered. (This does take some time especially if there are several bank / savings accounts, probably at least 6 months).

Soon as he died, I got it set up for my Mum. We never had to use it, she died quite suddenly without any serious dementia, but it was still useful helping her with financial stuff without being quoted “data protection shit”.

[somewhatfoolish]

4 hours ago, maxxo said:

i understand it's not tat what they have, a lot of it is actually antiques, just no one else realises that so i've promised to care for it all

If they know what they have a list of it all is very useful, it's O/T but if they genuinely are of value the grandparents are probably outside their household insurance limits and wouldn't be covered if the items are not individually declared and there was a fire or burglary etc. Another thing of huge help to the executor is a list of all investments and bank accounts etc, where all the documents are stored and if there are online accounts then account numbers etc.

Totally agree with the above comments about getting LPA set up too, while it can be abused(there are press horror stories) not having it can cause terrible problems too.

[Spiny Norman]

To echo what's been said already, if there isn't a will now, get them to make one. If they don't want to go to an office most solicitors will send round a minion to do it at their home for a modest fee.
What won't be a modest fee is what you'll get if they do die intestate and a solicitor has to get involved in all the legal shizz that follows. If the final bill for sorting it all out isn't into five figures you're doing well.

Also the 'We'll just skip all the stuff in the house when you've gone' people are usually the first to start bickering when someone starts actually going through the deceased's belongings, especially if there's a sniff of profit in it.

It's not a pleasant thing to think about or discuss with anyone, the usual answer of 'It'll not happen for ages, plenty of time yet' only runs for so long.

I hope they still have a long and happy life ahead of them but it never hurts to get these things put in place while they still can.

[beko1987]

Even when they have all their marbles but no health it gets no better. Both my grandparents are 90+ in a big house they should have moved out of 20 years ago. 

Was talking to dad about it earlier and he said there's no point doing anything about it now, when they go it'll all have to be done at once. 

Sheds full of 30+ year old welding gear and old blacksmithing apparatus is in the sheds somewhere. Finding a good home for it all that isn't straight for scrap will be the hardest bit. Most of it will probably be scrap by that time 😂

I hope to leave nothing for the kids to sort bar either sentimental and  keep or bin. 

Another problem is furniture. When my mum goes ill inherit a beautiful 18th century marble top sideboard... Which I'm sure will fit well in whatever tiny flat I can barely afford to be renting when the sad time comes 😢 Same with my grans stuff, pretty much none of us have a big house in the extended family, let alone space for all the nice proper wood early 20th century furniture that will be sloshing around. I can see why so many families just skip alot of stuff and have done with it 

[bramz7]

I was quite done with car buying this year, but the Corolla E10 I've done nearly 1000 miles in has been exhibiting some worrying cooling behaviour as of late...I think the head gasket is going very slowly as there is a distinct hum of coolant in the exhaust and quite a lot of smoke when the engine is at temp (and been at temp for an hour).

Xsara still broken

Mazda is ok, but not good daily driver for my commute (80 miles per day).

So it looks like I now have to panic buy something in my 5 days off. Exactly what I didn't want to do! 

[Back_For_More]

2 minutes ago, bramz7 said:

..... it looks like I now have to panic buy something in my 5 days off. Exactly what I didn't want to do! 

What are you needing? I've got the 320CLK sitting around a fair bit doing not much..... You could borrow that for a while and save me the hassle of remembering it's there! 

Not sure if it's suitable for your wants - but can drop it down to you this weekend if needed. I'm Biggin Hill way, so not far..... 

[Floatylight]

15 hours ago, maxxo said:

Also bloody Citroen Xsara Picassos

i can go years without really giving them a second thought

then for example I watch Gavin and Stacey and then I hanker for another one

i don’t know why, I’ve just always thought they’re fantastic 

Checked the reg of Bryn's only done 35k but looks like its been regularly in use over the years.

[bramz7]

27 minutes ago, Back_For_More said:

What are you needing? I've got the 320CLK sitting around a fair bit doing not much..... You could borrow that for a while and save me the hassle of remembering it's there! 

Not sure if it's suitable for your wants - but can drop it down to you this weekend if needed. I'm Biggin Hill way, so not far..... 

Very kind offer of you but that car is a bit zesty for me to commute in! And I'd be fearful someone else would damage it. 

But I appreciate the offer all the same, thanks. 

[chaseracer]

This is me right now, after three consecutive days of Christmas events with family & friends.  Imagine the carnage if I didn't love them all dearly!  Early to bed tonight... 🙂

[beko1987]

3 hours ago, Floatylight said:

Checked the reg of Bryn's only done 35k but looks like its been regularly in use over the years.

I wondered if they were the same vehicles as the original, or just fake plates on 'replica' s. That volvo must be hanging if its in storage bar the filming! Or the current owners got paid a ton of money (same with the houses they used) 

[maxxo]

3 hours ago, Floatylight said:

Checked the reg of Bryn's only done 35k but looks like its been regularly in use over the years.

i was astounded by the condition of it!

i must admit if one that tidy with mileage like that came along i could be extremely tempted

they're annoying cars the Xsara Picasso

they're too good at what they do

[GeorgeB]

4 hours ago, Spiny Norman said:

To echo what's been said already, if there isn't a will now, get them to make one. If they don't want to go to an office most solicitors will send round a minion to do it at their home for a modest fee.
What won't be a modest fee is what you'll get if they do die intestate and a solicitor has to get involved in all the legal shizz that follows. If the final bill for sorting it all out isn't into five figures you're doing well.

Also the 'We'll just skip all the stuff in the house when you've gone' people are usually the first to start bickering when someone starts actually going through the deceased's belongings, especially if there's a sniff of profit in it.

It's not a pleasant thing to think about or discuss with anyone, the usual answer of 'It'll not happen for ages, plenty of time yet' only runs for so long.

I hope they still have a long and happy life ahead of them but it never hurts to get these things put in place while they still can.

You can do it all on line for nothing: https://www.freewills.co.uk/

You can give a contribution if you like but it not compulsory.

 

[hairnet]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cy89lzv12z6o

hope it dont go east from texas @PhilA

[EspenO]

On 25/12/2024 at 19:43, BorniteIdentity said:

Whenever everyone’s singing the same song, it’s amazingly efficient. Sadly, it only takes one old giffer who wants to talk about the weather and pay with two deep pockets full of change to fuck the whole thing. 

So much like communism, a theoretically deeply wonderful system that will never, ever work anywhere. 

[IronStar]

Walked into a garage today, 156 is sitting a bit funny. It’s probably nothing, and I just parked it at an angle where it looks like it’s lower on one si…oh, front right is flat. Checked pressures last week, so must be punctured since.  Bollocks. 
I’ll pump it back up tomorrow and deal with it on Monday. No great harm even if it can’t be patched as it needs fronts anyway, I’d just rather not deal with this now. 

[reb]

9 minutes ago, EspenO said:

So much like communism, a theoretically deeply wonderful system that will never, ever work anywhere. 

Real Lidl has never been tried?

[EspenO]

5 minutes ago, reb said:

Real Lidl has never been tried?

Nowhere with customers accustomed to not lobbing your shite in the cart twice unneccesarily, for theorethical common good. 

All those tills do, is shifting the inconvenience on to the customers. 

[reb]

4 minutes ago, EspenO said:

Nowhere with customers accustomed to not lobbing your shite in the cart twice unneccesarily, for theorethical common good. 

All those tills do, is shifting the inconvenience on to the customers. 

I'm taking the piss out of the fact that you think "not getting in the way of the people behind you" is in anything like the same ballpark as communism.

Are you the giffer holding up the queue by any chance?

[EspenO]

Oh, I get it now. You think comparisons must be literal in every aspect. They don’t.

Cute little attempt at trolling, though. *pinches cheek*

[reb]

No. I just think it's a really fucking weird thing to say out of nowhere.

Politics section is over there.